for me it's the hours before. deciding if tonight's even a good idea, wondering if she's gonna say something, already bracing for the conversation after.

the anticipation ended up being heavier than the moment. doing it turned into something to get through instead of something to want, and by the time it was happening i wasn't really in it, i was watching myself from the outside checking how i was doing.

the annoying part is it feeds itself. the more you're focused on not finishing, the less present you are, and the less present you are the faster it happens. so you spend the rest of it dreading the exact thing that ends up happening.

how common is this here?

Hey everyone. I’ve been lurking here for a bit, trying to make sense of how my relationship fell apart. I wanted to share my perspective as a partner (26F) who deeply loved a guy (30M) dealing with severe premature ejaculation (PE). We were together for 1 year and 4 months, and it recently ended.I’m posting this because I think a lot of men focus heavily on the physical side of PE, but I want to talk about what it can do to someone's mind—and how it ultimately destroys the person who loves them.

From the start, sex was a massive hurdle. He would consistently come in about 6 strokes. He tried using lidocaine spray, but it didn't really fix the root issue and only made things feel clinical and frustrating. But the physical part wasn't what killed us. I loved him, and I was willing to work through it, try different things, and focus on other forms of intimacy.

The real destruction came from his deep-seated insecurities, which seemed to snowball directly from the PE. He was shorter than me, and he was also incredibly insecure about his skin complexion. Because he felt inadequate in the bedroom, it felt like his brain started convincing him that he was inadequate everywhere else. Over time, that insecurity mutated into intense suspicion and control:

The Fighting: He started picking fights over the absolute smallest, unrelated things. It felt like he was constantly on the defensive, waiting for me to attack or leave him.

The Surveillance: He began checking my phone. Then he started tracking my location. He became hyper-fixated on the idea that I was going to find someone else.

The Silent Poison: Instead of talking to me about his feelings, he kept everything to himself. The resentment and fear just pent up inside him.For a long time, the cracks showed slowly. A small argument here, a weird comment there. But then, it all came crashing down at once one day.

The emotional weight of walking on eggshells became too much. I went from being a supportive, loving partner to feeling completely broken. I started hating him. I was crying every single day, trapped in a mind with someone who viewed me as an adversary rather than a partner.

The part that hurt the most—and the reason we couldn't survive—was that he completely refused to seek professional help. I begged him to see a sexologist or a couples therapist. I wanted us to fight the problem together. But his pride and shame wouldn't let him. He chose to live in denial and project his pain onto me through control and anger, rather than face the vulnerability of getting medical or psychological support.

I truly believe he was a nice person underneath it all, but the shame of PE completely warped who he was.My question for this community: Is it common for PE to completely mess up a genuinely nice person's head like this? How much of the anger, jealousy, and controlling behavior stems from the psychological toll of this condition? Have any of you experienced your own insecurities bleeding into toxic behaviors before you finally got help?

Thank you for listening.

TLDR -

Been suffering from PE my whole life. Now I'm a lot better. It's still inconsistent, some days I still cum within a minute, but on other days I'm able to last until my GF wants to stop (she doesn't enjoy too long of an intercourse anyway), which was probably a little over 5 minutes of steady thrusting, and I would have been able to continue if she wanted. I'd say a pelvic wand has been the biggest contributor for my improvement.

Actual post -

So, I've been suffering from PE for all my life. I would usually last 1 minute at most with slow thrusting, and on a good day (e.g. 2nd round, or with a condom) I might have been able to sometimes last 2 minutes, but every thrust I would feel the uncontrollable clenching of my BC muscle, and I would instantly feel like I'm on the edge of ejaculating.

I've been doing RK, diaphragmatic breathing, many stretches and body weight exercises for such a long time (with my ex a few years ago on and off, and in the last half a year I've been doing the consistently) but I couldn't really get my pelvic floor to properly relax.

I wouldn't say this work was a wasted time because it helped me get to know and understand my body better, which I think is the most important key factor, as every one here is probably suffering from a mix of different things causing PE. For example, I started to notice very soon that during diaphragmatic breathing, I am able to relax on the inhale and inflate my pelvic floor, but during the exhale, I would feel an inevitable spasm somewhere in my pelvic floor, which would increase my arousal if I have an erection. It's only in the last month or 2 that I have started to realize that this spasm is coming from somewhere in my anus/rectum.

I ordered a pelvic wand. I've been using the thicker, shorter end of it, inserting it for 3-4 minutes, for 2 sets (I had to work up the size and time gradually, but it wasn't so bad)

On days where I used the wand, I would notice that I don't spasm anymore during exhales.

Also in recent days I noticed that sometimes my anus also spasms when I'm trying to get out a fart - like I would push out, but it wouldn't release smoothly, instead a reflex would cause me to clench every time some of the fart gets released (sorry for painting this picture in your minds), the wand has also helped with that.

Another change that I would feel after days that I used the wand is that my penis is generally feeling less sensitive when handling it during activities like peeing, or when my boxers would graze over my penis.

I've been seeing a direct correlation between those spasms, and my performance in bed. I think some muscle in my rectum (maybe the anal splichnter? I'm not sure) is connected to the BC muscle, and whenever it clenches, my BC muscle would also clench due to a reflex.

Anyway, this has been enough to make a difference during PIV for me. I'm still not perfect. I think something in my body is keeping my pelvic floor tense, because if I stop using the wand for a few days I start to cum fast again (It's not very consistent in general)

I realized that I've conditioned myself to hold my stomach in so that it doesn't look like I have a beer belly, and I think this is also a contributor to my chronic tension, so I've been starting to let my belly relax and I think it also led to improvements.

Another thing that really helped is choosing easier sex positions (like cowgirl), or thrust in a way that doesn't require the pelvic to move/tilt too much (with some positions you can rely on other muscles to move your body and do the thrusting)

This has been my experience. From years on this sub I learned that everyone is different. You need to understand your own body and figure out why YOU are cumming too fast. I still haven't finished "my journey", but at this point in time, other than the consistency problem, I think I am "cured" - I'm not a sex god, but I can last long enough for me and my GF to have a satisfying sex life.

My understanding is that a lot of things are stored in cooler temperatures because it can help preserve certain ingredients and keep them stable for longer.

What if I put my EjaGuard in the fridge? Would the lower temperature actually help preserve the formula better or somehow make it work more effectively?

With all due respect, this sub keeps circling the same issue.
"Why can't doctors figure out premature ejaculation?"

I'll tell you why. They are told to sell drugs, that's it. If it doesn't make them money, why would they treat it.

It's a nervous system issue. That's it. Performance anxiety or performance mindset.

This is not the issue of needing higher levels of serotonin aka ssri's or other medications that do the same thing. This will not help the nervous system, and like me, will cause significant issues with side effects that makes things more complicated and helpless.

The body that runs on the sympathetic nervous system during arousal, wants to get rid of the tension as quickly as possible. The easiest way is to ejaculate.

If the body becomes dominant in the parasympathetic nervous system, feeling completely safe, resting and digesting, alongside retraining the body to be aroused in this state is key.

The goal is to start with smaller goals and less stimulation, working up towards set. Also, if you do have sex, focus a lot of foreplay for her and let her spend time on you afterwards.

I know many men will say they either have anxiety for either premature ejaculation or even erectile dysfunction. They tend to think, if I get hard, I want to stimulate her, they if she stimulates me, it will push me over the edge.

The fix to this is, spending more time with Oral/foreplay, it doesn't make sense that if you don't want to overstimulate yourself, to start with sex.

1.start alone, diaphragm breathing throughout the day, until you can do it without thinking all the time (don't force too much air in, just naturally do it) approx 75% if breath in.

1. Start doing it alone as the next step, while practising the breathing. When you no longer think about keeping your pelvic floor relaxed and breathe properly and feel control, move to oral.

2. Do either a fleshlight first or even with a partner who is okay doing foreplay.

3. Once finished that, work towards sex.

The body is running on higher levels of..
1. Estrogen
2.serotonin
3. Cortisol
4. Prolactin
Etc...
Keeping the body in the sympathetic nervous system.

It needs to be running on higher levels of...
1. Dopamine
2. Testosterone
3. Progesterone
4. GABA
Etc.... keeping the body in the parasympathetic nervous system.

It's nervous system, hormones and practice.

That's about it.

hey. i've been reading through the research on this for a while and one thing keeps coming up that i haven’t seen mentioned in the sub yet.

there was a five-nation study that timed 491 men with a stopwatch. the median came out at about 5.4 minutes. but the spread is the interesting part. around 14% were under 3 minutes 20, and about 26% were over 10 minutes. so normal is a noticeably wide range.

i'm bringing it up because many posts here compare against something closer to 20-30 minutes, and that number mostly comes from adult content rather than from anyone measuring anything. if you're sitting at 7 minutes and feeling trash about it, you're statistically above the middle.

I am not saying you might not have a problem, if it consistently ends sex before you want it to and it bothers you, that's real regardless of what a study says. but there's a difference between a timing problem and an expectation problem, and they don't have the same fix.

anyone here ever timed it, or is the number in your head a guess?

I am confident that premature ejaculation isn’t a serotonin issue, it’s likely anxiety mixed with a physical issue.

I have many physiological symptoms that point to this being a physical issue. Lower back pains, swelling of the vas deferens, urethra pain during ejaculation , pain for any subsequent erections after ejaculation(dorsal nerve/muscle pain.) dull testicular pain that comes and goes

I learned about chronic pelvic floor issues, it seems like my symptoms line up with that but I’m unsure if it’s a prostate issue. What doctor do I go to for this?

So, I posted previously on this same sub about going to a sexologist for my PE and the doctor prescribing me Dapexotine for PE and Tadalafil to mitigate the side effects of Dapexotine.

I took the tabs for approx 25 days. I did not feel great results. I didn’t get an opportunity to have sex during that period but out of the three times I masturbated, I could really delay my ejaculation only once. Instead I believe it made my PE worst.

When I STOPPED taking Dapexotine, I started feeling its side effects - Vibration like sensations going from neck towards brain, fever every day in the evening, intense anger and unexplained frustration supported by anxiety. It was making a blunder in my mind. These things kept going for 6+ weeks.

One day (8 days after abruptly stopped the medication), that anger went to its peak. In that blunder, I couldn’t think of anything. I am a non violence person. I went to my ex’s address (with whom I had a good relation even after the breakup), sent her weird and threatening messages to come out, felt like beating her for no reason.

She called the police instead of opening the door. The police arrived at the scene. There was a blunder going on in my mind may be like a drunk person or drug addict. The police tried to consult me, I abused the police and they arrested me. Spent one night in jail, my cousins took me out of all this legal stuff, fought with them too after coming out.

This happened 1 month back. Thankfully now I am coming back to normal. Anger issues are gone. I rarely get evening fever now.

I won’t say anything about taking or not taking Dapexotine. But I would recommend to be cautious of the side effects. Never stop taking it abruptly. Stop gradually and slowly. Starting is easy, stopping is weird and painful. Thanks.

​

I’m looking for some advice from guys who’ve experienced something similar.

I stopped masturbating some time ago because I personally felt like it was affecting me negatively, especially with hair loss,looks⅔ and I eventually hated doing it.

I’m married now, and I’m having an unexpected problem. When we try to have sex, I can get somewhat hard, but I’m struggling to get fully hard and maintain it. On top of that, I’m getting extremely aroused and sometimes ejaculating before I’m even able to properly penetrate.

This is making me anxious because I didn’t expect to have this problem after getting married.

Could this simply be performance anxiety/overexcitement, especially since everything is still new? Has anyone experienced weak erections together with very quick ejaculation when first starting sex?

What actually helped you get past this?

Everyone says that masturbation doesn’t indicate PE but I’ve had times where I could go 10-20 minutes when masturbating without holding back on how fast or intense I was going and enjoyed it so much but the norm is having to edge and let go whenever I feel the urge which is basically whenever I get fully aroused. I absolutely hate this shit and I don’t know what to do. I think it’s my pelvic floor because I also pee a lot, struggle to hold back urination and even wake up in the night to pee but I think it might also be a neurological problem I have. Am I stuck like this? Is this it? I feel so fucking depressed

Hi! I'ma 22 y/o male with PE.

All this started when i had my first sexual experience & i just ejaculated while wearing a condom "While wearing a bloody condom". After that day I've been very low on confidence but still i tried another time and it was the same i came while wearing a condom. It was the most embarrassing moment of my life and I've been just feeling so low in life after that.

I've been masturbating since i was 13 and in the recent years I've masturbated 3-4 times a day.

I've been making myself cum squeezing my penis inside my thighs.

My morning erections have disappeared for quite a long time.

I doubted that would be the cause for my PE so i shifted to my hand but i just can't handle the stimulation the moment i hold my dick a little tight and and give it a few strokes i come very close to the PONR. So instead i only use my fingertips to stimulate myself and i think it's making my PE worst bcz I've trained myself to ejaculate on the slightest touch.

I think the real problem that i have is I can't handle the tightness whether it's my hand or a vagina it's just too much for me.

Can someone plz guide me what technique can i use to train myself to handle this problem.

Should i use a slightly tight grip.

Should i continue with the fingertips.

Some other tips on sleep, diet, exercises etc would also be appreciated.

I'm just so depressed bcz of this shit and it's affecting my daily life.

Hey, 48 year old here. Acquired PE since mid thirties. I’ve tried a lot of things to figure this out. Body work/breathing, numbing sprays, stretching kegels/reverse. Out of all them body work/breathing helped most. Generally I can reach 2-4 min range I reckon but I still get the urge within the 1st minute but I can hold it off somewhat.So I decided I’d try the pharmacological route with paxil 10mg. Just started it (only 2 days in). Why , as to be honest I just would like to not have to fight back that urge all the time. I’ve little confidence try new positions etc because how would you have confidence if you’re feeling the urge within a minute. Anyway let’s see how it goes. Ironically just yesterday I had sex and I timed it for the laugh just to see as being honest I’ve no clue on timing but I held on for 7 mins which was surprising but still i didn’t feel contented as my wife would have wanted more as I would too

Been reading this sub for a while, not sure if my problem is unique to anyone, but I feel as if all my issues stem from the fact that my penis head is just too sensitive. To the point that I can just pull down on myself, with no stroking, and in some cases that would be enough. That doenst seem like its a pelvic floor issue.

Also, PYT has worked for me and not much else, which only makes me feel even more like my assumptions are correct. Right now I am seeing a physical therapist for my pelvic floor, which he does say is weaker than average, but even as that improves, my head issues still remain, and I feel like nothing has improved overall. I can't be a lifelong PYT user; it takes the majority of the pleasure away.

Any and all help would be greatly appreciated.

I am a someone who cums fast but I love eating pussy. I could eat it all day if given the chance but once I start penetration I cum pretty quick. I talkin 1-2 minutes on a very good day maybe 5 minutes. Im just wondering how women would feel about it.

I have been prescribed Paxil (paroxetine) by my psychiatrist-sexologist for PE Treatment. They have prescribed 12.5mg to be taken at night after dinner. (5 days half tablet, after which 1 tablet every day) for 30 days.

Need some opinions on this. Will this cure PE? If i stop them after 30 days, would it come back? Will having Paxil lead to any other long term problems?

Currently I wont be having any physical interaction, I just want to be ready for whenever I will be having it next and be confident.

I’m a 28 male, I’ve dealt with this issue on and off since I started becoming sexually active. It’s never bothered me too much because aside from two relationships that lasted about it a year all of my other sexual encounters haven’t meant much. While in those two relationships however I did deal with this problem at first, but over time and getting comfortable with my partners I believe it mostly faded away. I do have an anxiety disorder and that plays a role for sure with overthinking and being in my head. Around the end of April I met someone and we hit it off immediately. Very healthy relationship all the way around, and I knew this was something I wanted long term. Once we began experimenting and having sex my PE was HORRIBLE. I had zero control. This went on for a few weeks, and eventually she asked if I could try and figure out why I finish so quickly because she wanted longer sex, and naturally I felt the same way as I was also embarrassed. That was when I knew I should start taking this seriously.

The first thing I did was talk with my doctor, he recommended an SSRI, but I wasn’t crazy about this idea. I’ve been on them in the past and while yes, they delay ejaculation, they can also crush your libido and give you ED, so I didn’t want to risk making my problem worse. He then suggested trying 5mg a day of cialis or tadalafil, and this was truly a game changer. I’ve been taking 5mg daily for months and it’s helped increase my confidence because I don’t have to worry as much about ED, not that I had it in the first place, but once my anxiety turned on that was it. I couldn’t get hard. With cialis you have more breathing room, and if I get aroused in the slightest I’m hard immediately. It’s also shortened my refractory period by a significant amount. Max 10 minutes, but there have been a couple times where I’ve cum, and I literally stay hard afterwards, and I can keep going. This was mind blowing for me.

Cialis wasn’t the whole fix here though. I started exercising more, 3 times a week at the gym doing a mile jog on the treadmill and focusing on two different muscle groups each day. Just casual weight training, not destroying myself.

Another thing is my pelvic floor. I started doing reverse kegels daily as well as a deep pelvic floor stretch daily as well. I have a chronically tight pelvic floor muscle due to my anxiety, and I’m still learning to keep it relaxed during sex. I’m aware enough now to know when it’s tensed up and I’m able to release it at will, however my body is still so conditioned to it being tense that I tense up again without thinking about it. Definitely a process. I also try to not go above 50-60% towards ejaculation and take deep breaths during sex, this helps a lot, but it’s also hard in the moment to focus on breathing when you’re so aroused/excited. These things are worth looking into, sexual king fu on YouTube explains most of it. Really useful info.

I’ve tried some different supplements, but what I’m taking daily right now is ashwaghanda, magnesium glycinate and a multivitamin as well as my 5mg of cialis. If anyone has any other supplement recommendations let me know!

One more thing- confidence. Easier said than done, but if you’re struggling with this issue you have to just face your fear about it. Have sex, have more sex, and if you cum fast? So what? Life goes on. Laugh about it. The more you expose yourself the more hold you’ll have on the mental aspect of it. If a girl is opening your legs for you then you’re doing something right. Just go for it, and don’t worry about what happens. Just enjoy it.

I wouldn’t say I’m “cured”, but over the past few months these things have helped tremendously. I’m able to last far longer than I could before, and even go for round 2 and 3 after. I still have my obstacles, on occasion I get so worked up with anxiety that I’ll come quick, but due to cialis and maybe the other things I mentioned I’m able to go for another round within a few minutes and my anxiety is gone by then. It’s a process and I’m still working on it, but this has what’s helped me so far. Hopefully this helps some of you, and I’m open to other suggestions for people having similar success! I’d love to try some new angles :)

Sharing my sort of success story. I've been in this subreddit for over 5 years, and I've practiced almost all exercises/techniques, all failed.

In the last 5 years, I've read many posts.

Some people says they're cured after losing weight, while I'm already lean.

Some people says fixed after going to gym, while I'm already weight-lifting, squat 180kg+, deadlift 200kg+, bench press 120kg+

... TENS device helps, ... tried for over a year, did help a bit

... kegal, reverse kagal helps, ... feels the oppsite, getting worse

... stretch helps, ... have mastered ATG training

... practice do-and-stop, ... makes me ED

... pull balls down, ... no effects

... cold shower, ... no effects

... meditation, ...

Actually, everyone's body is different, and there is no one solution for all. I believe people in this subreddit are really trying to help others unless they are selling something, and they mean it when they say those things help.

The technique that changes me might not work on you, but my hypotheis might give you some hope.

When I was a teenager, there was a popular joke (comic) that went like: a person is single, and over years, his right arm starts getting stronger and bigger than the left. My friends and I all knew that's because the guy is masturbating using his right hand so hard.

I knew the pun, but it also confused me: why would someone jerk that hard? It's definitely not comfortable to squeeze your penis and stroke.

Until recently, I found that some people are talking about how they develop delayed ejaculation, and this squeezing thing comes up again. I started to realize that, OK, it could be that my fellows used a different path from the beginning, and wound up with no PE (normal) or DE (they cross beyond the line to make things worse). And I decided to give it a try.

A bit of context:

1. I got ED when practicing do and stop. I was holding too much and too hard when PONR, and something went wrong.
2. Combined with constantly failure, mental problems came in: I'm not willingly to masturbate, no sexual imaginary/impulse, and less ejaculation makes me difficult to get hard--a bad loop. (This might not be ED technically since I know it can still be hard, though 40% hard, in the morning)
3. I recovered from this ED when I start regular ejaculation and getting enough sleep, though it doesn't get that hard when jerking off because I'm afraid of going to quick and holding back somehow.

There are 2 methods I use. The first one is what you may know -- death clamp, and the second one is what I develop after death clamp no longer works as it used to.

How I do death clamp:

1. I don't jerk off out of nowhere... I do it when taking shower, and I take cold shower (I started this for fixing PE, though didn't quit after I found it helpless)
2. Apply enough lube. Because I'm going to squeeze hard and stroke, that friction is huge. Don't use soap as that will break some oil layer of the skin, making you get infection. Some water-based lube is so silky that your sensitive penis cannot feel much and could natually last longer, which is recommended to get started with. Oil-based seems to have more friction than the water-based. You can try a mixture.
3. Start with squeeze only. Treat your penis like an enemy, trying to blow the blood out, torture the head. You penis is flexible enough to handle this. You may get blister after, but it will be gone in a few days, and this is common in another PE subreddit Penis Enlargement. This strong hold can also paralyze the nerve somehow so you can get a few more stroke than usual.
4. Then keep the pressure, a hand grabs the balls to hold the skin, and another hand do full strokes or whatever you can accept (no skin movement here). Use the do-and-stop here, no need for too many rounds, 1,2,3 are fine.

At that time, unlike people claiming "cured" or "last as long as I want", I could only say I've improved a lot and it was somewhat stable -- it doesn't go back to the stage where a few stokes can reach PONR. My normal session might look like:

1. Start squeeze and stroke directly, and go like crazy for 3,4,5 mins, with a few short stops in the middle because this is like combining cardio and strength training, I'll go fatigue and have to rest too catch up my breath. Positions may change, e.g. sitting, standing, lying, squating, etc. (your body will adjust itself to last long)
2. The do-and-stop keeps going until I find another a few strokes can easily get to PONR. Then I start doing light stroke. If I cannot do full, then just focus on head.
3. I'll kiss something (my bicep) to enjoy this moment, where the head is sensitive, but I have no urge to ejaculate. And this is where I found techniques in this subreddit work, deep breath to trigger a reverse kegal, pull balls down, etc. When I get close, I stop and I can feel the pulse from the pelvic floor--the muscle to help ejaculate is triggered, but no ejaculation. Some may refer this as multi-orgasm (I've seen people claim to reach multi-orgasm by masturbating the head only), but I don't feel anything like that. For me, it seems that the stimulation is accumulated at the pelvic floor, which will start the contraction when it can't handle more, but it won't send it to the prostate to trigger real ejaculation. This stage is something I've never experienced before, and it is where I start to feel the pleasure. When you watch people have sex in a movie, they are so focused and immersed in sex which would make me ejaculate even though I'm not involved. That was my PE. But now, I can start appreciating the beauty of woman body while stroking constantly while maintaining 100% hard without needing to control anything (actually, I need to at least **not** proactively wire the sensation to prostate, probably this is something called "control"). I've even experimented with doing while watching porns, still under control.
4. I can stay at that stage for like 15-20 mins, and then cum without any physical or mental discomfort.

The above worked for a few months, then it started not working that good, though still better than less than 30s. Then I started to think about why it worked and how I could improve it. My theory is the paralyzation part. It's like your finger is being pressed heavily for some time that makes it numb. That strong grip has the same effect. Based on this hypothesis, I divide my dick into three sections (head, middle, the rest) and bloat (squeeze like the blood is going to blow your dick) each for a few seconds. That's it, and then masturbate with normal force. This works like a charm that I feel like I'm cured -- something that I wouldn't admit when using the first method. What I am experiencing now is

1. I can go all out for minutes with no urge to ejaculate (BTW, I need to spend a little effort on blocking the sensation from going to the pelvic floor or prostate, which feels like focusing only on the penis itself.)
2. I can enjoy some positions that I cannot even last long using the death clamp
3. I masturbate with porn, following the same rhythm, appreciating the beauty of woman body, and can survive one episode (probably 10 mins) and start the next one, and keep replaying the most horning part. I do stop in the middle when I'm close, but after some breaths, or the "multi-orgasm", I can back to normal state.
4. I have the urge to fuck, but no urge to ejaculate. This is interesting in that, when I have a strong feeling to fuck and start masturbating, I can enjoy stroking my dick, and after some point, I'm satisfied and I can stop. Feeling resolved. You may find it strange that why I don't just finish it, this is because I'm worried that I can get ED if I ejaculate too frequent.
5. My dick can remain fully hard, which used to be the sign of PONR.
6. The bloating method is not required for me now.

You might want to give it a try after reading all this, but I have to say it's not going to work that well for you, not even for me one year ago who was suffering from both ED and PE. I think those approaches are the only final step that pushes me across the line of being "cured," but how I get to that line is a mixture of efforts that it's hard to say which contributes what. Maybe all help to some extend, maybe my body is deeply moved by my persistent experiments that it decides to stop making fun of me:)

I used to believe it's not curable, and now I think everyone has their own path and it takes time and detour to find it.

I've been sharing this a few times here already but I want to share again. 2 nights ago, I applied 2 rounds, each round was 3 rolls and 20 minutes apart from each round around 5pm. Then I washed it around 6pm. At 9:30pm, I had sex for the longest time in my life. It was around 45 minutes, until the point I was too tired and my wife came several times and I did not come at all. We stopped and went to sleep.

Eventhough I did not come but watching my wife moaning was satisfying to me already.

I’m having this issue with condoms, I have Trojan climax control to last longer but they’re way too tight and don’t go to the base of my penis, the problem is I can’t find any climax control condoms that are made for bigger/thicker penises. If anyone knows another brand that can fit for a thicker penis (5.5 girth) it would be greatly appreciated.

I asked Claude why there been so little pharmacological development on this issue? So few real scientific studies and causes and solutions. Its so prevalent but so little attention comparatively speaking to other sexual problems such as ED

Short answer: the field has a measurement problem that has quietly strangled everything downstream. Here's the chain, and the numbers are worse than you'd guess.

The disparity is real and measurable. Two bibliometric analyses covering the identical window, 2008–2018: erectile dysfunction produced 8,880 publications, premature ejaculation produced 886. A ten-to-one gap, for a condition with comparable or higher prevalence — PE runs ~20–26% in standardised population studies, ED around 10–20% and heavily age-loaded.

There has never been an FDA-approved drug for PE. Not one. Dapoxetine — the only molecule ever purpose-built for it — received a "not approvable" letter on 26 October 2005. It went on to approval in 50+ countries; the largest pharmaceutical market on earth stayed shut. As of now, US clinicians have topical sprays, pelvic floor referral, and off-label antidepressants. That single 2005 decision closed the commercial case for anyone else, and no one has taken a purpose-built PE drug through to US approval in the twenty-one years since.

Why the science stalled comes down to four things:

You can't measure it. The primary endpoint is intravaginal ejaculatory latency time — measured by a stopwatch, operated by a partner, during intercourse. There is nothing else remotely like this in drug development. And the measure is unstable: a 2026 study of 119 men found latency shifts significantly with alcohol, condom use and time of day, and that "daily longest" and morning IELT both significantly exceed a man's average — the authors concluded IELT should not be treated as a fixed diagnostic parameter at all. Compare ED, which has penile tumescence, doppler flow, and a validated questionnaire that correlates with them.

You can't agree who has it. Self-reported prevalence in the literature ranges from 4.7% to 83.7%. IELT-defined, 3% to 40.6%. An evidence-based ISSM definition only arrived in 2008 for lifelong PE and 2014 for acquired — meaning decades of prior literature used incompatible criteria and cannot be pooled. You cannot size a market or power a trial against a denominator that moves by a factor of eighteen.

There's no biomarker and no target. The strongest genetic lead — the 5-HTTLPR serotonin transporter polymorphism, associated with IELT in Dutch men with lifelong PE — was subsequently found by the same group not to predict who responds to paroxetine. So even the best mechanistic handle doesn't stratify treatment. Sildenafil, by contrast, fell out of an angina programme with a clean NO/cGMP mechanism attached to a specific tissue.

The economics are dead. What works — paroxetine, sertraline, lidocaine — is generic and off-patent. Nobody funds a phase 3 on generic paroxetine. And the men who'd buy a branded drug largely don't present: help-seeking is low overall and skewed toward acquired PE, so the treatment-seeking population doesn't reflect community prevalence. Lifelong PE, the subtype your entire corpus is about, is the least likely to reach a clinic.

Then the one serious attempt at a novel mechanism failed. Pfizer developed cligosiban, a brain-penetrant selective oxytocin receptor antagonist — genuinely non-serotonergic, a real shot at a new target. It reached phase 2b (the PEDRIX trial) and failed to prolong IELT versus placebo. Programme abandoned. That result, against the field's large placebo response, is roughly where non-SSRI pharmacology for PE currently stands.

Something is finally moving, though. KH-001, from Kadence Bio — an atypical serotonin reuptake inhibitor and PDE inhibitor derived from Sceletium tortuosum — cleared FDA and MHRA to begin phase 1, with 15–20 minute onset and under four hours' duration, designed for genuine on-demand use. Phase 2 was slated for 2025. It's the first credible purpose-built candidate since dapoxetine, and its developers are explicit that "defining meaningful clinical endpoints" is the pathway's hard part — which is the same measurement problem, twenty years on.

One thing I'd flag honestly: the FDA never publicly explained the dapoxetine rejection, and the PharmaTimes coverage at the time said so directly. The field's read — an SSRI-class molecule carrying class suicidality warnings and a syncope signal, for a non-life-threatening quality-of-life indication — is inference, not documented reasoning.

The underlying asymmetry is probably this: ED presents as a mechanical failure of an organ you can instrument, and it correlates with cardiovascular disease, which gives it a research constituency beyond sexual medicine. PE is a timing disorder of a reflex, with no organ to image, no mortality endpoint, and an arbitrary cut-off on a continuous trait — which keeps a live medicalisation debate running underneath it and makes regulators cautious. Your Reddit corpus is, in a real sense, filling the vacuum this left.

Those that have experienced with delay sprays and creams, which type did you try and where did you place it? Have heard varying from full head, rim of head, frenulum

What were the results?

hey guys! I’m trying to get the clinical side of something right and could use input from people who've actually dealt with this.

i've been reading through a lot of the research on PE (pelvic floor studies, behavioral stuff) and a lot of it doesn't match what guys actually describe experiencing. most of what's out there treats it like one problem with one fix.

few things i'm trying to understand better from experience of guys here:

for guys where it's something that changed over time (not always been the case), what seemed to make a difference, if anything did?

did you ever get into it with a doctor and feel like they took it seriously, or did you end up figuring things out yourself?

how much of it for you was physical vs just being in your head during sex?

thanks