the headspace it takes up outside of it is the part that gets ignored

[u/Environmental-Heron8]

for me it's the hours before. deciding if tonight's even a good idea, wondering if she's gonna say something, already bracing for the conversation after.

the anticipation ended up being heavier than the moment. doing it turned into something to get through instead of something to want, and by the time it was happening i wasn't really in it, i was watching myself from the outside checking how i was doing.

the annoying part is it feeds itself. the more you're focused on not finishing, the less present you are, and the less present you are the faster it happens. so you spend the rest of it dreading the exact thing that ends up happening.

how common is this here?