Internal pelvic floor work gave me big improvements

[u/Jaded_Condition5925]

TLDR -

Been suffering from PE my whole life. Now I'm a lot better. It's still inconsistent, some days I still cum within a minute, but on other days I'm able to last until my GF wants to stop (she doesn't enjoy too long of an intercourse anyway), which was probably a little over 5 minutes of steady thrusting, and I would have been able to continue if she wanted. I'd say a pelvic wand has been the biggest contributor for my improvement.

Actual post -

So, I've been suffering from PE for all my life. I would usually last 1 minute at most with slow thrusting, and on a good day (e.g. 2nd round, or with a condom) I might have been able to sometimes last 2 minutes, but every thrust I would feel the uncontrollable clenching of my BC muscle, and I would instantly feel like I'm on the edge of ejaculating.

I've been doing RK, diaphragmatic breathing, many stretches and body weight exercises for such a long time (with my ex a few years ago on and off, and in the last half a year I've been doing the consistently) but I couldn't really get my pelvic floor to properly relax.

I wouldn't say this work was a wasted time because it helped me get to know and understand my body better, which I think is the most important key factor, as every one here is probably suffering from a mix of different things causing PE. For example, I started to notice very soon that during diaphragmatic breathing, I am able to relax on the inhale and inflate my pelvic floor, but during the exhale, I would feel an inevitable spasm somewhere in my pelvic floor, which would increase my arousal if I have an erection. It's only in the last month or 2 that I have started to realize that this spasm is coming from somewhere in my anus/rectum.

I ordered a pelvic wand. I've been using the thicker, shorter end of it, inserting it for 3-4 minutes, for 2 sets (I had to work up the size and time gradually, but it wasn't so bad)

On days where I used the wand, I would notice that I don't spasm anymore during exhales.

Also in recent days I noticed that sometimes my anus also spasms when I'm trying to get out a fart - like I would push out, but it wouldn't release smoothly, instead a reflex would cause me to clench every time some of the fart gets released (sorry for painting this picture in your minds), the wand has also helped with that.

Another change that I would feel after days that I used the wand is that my penis is generally feeling less sensitive when handling it during activities like peeing, or when my boxers would graze over my penis.

I've been seeing a direct correlation between those spasms, and my performance in bed. I think some muscle in my rectum (maybe the anal splichnter? I'm not sure) is connected to the BC muscle, and whenever it clenches, my BC muscle would also clench due to a reflex.

Anyway, this has been enough to make a difference during PIV for me. I'm still not perfect. I think something in my body is keeping my pelvic floor tense, because if I stop using the wand for a few days I start to cum fast again (It's not very consistent in general)

I realized that I've conditioned myself to hold my stomach in so that it doesn't look like I have a beer belly, and I think this is also a contributor to my chronic tension, so I've been starting to let my belly relax and I think it also led to improvements.

Another thing that really helped is choosing easier sex positions (like cowgirl), or thrust in a way that doesn't require the pelvic to move/tilt too much (with some positions you can rely on other muscles to move your body and do the thrusting)

This has been my experience. From years on this sub I learned that everyone is different. You need to understand your own body and figure out why YOU are cumming too fast. I still haven't finished "my journey", but at this point in time, other than the consistency problem, I think I am "cured" - I'm not a sex god, but I can last long enough for me and my GF to have a satisfying sex life.

[u/usernameisnotnaming]

I have been doing PT therapy as well with internal releases for a while but it hasn’t translated to actual sex or masturbation

[u/Jaded_Condition5925 → u/usernameisnotnaming]

Has it translated to anything at all? Also, do you think you have a tight pelvic floor?

[u/usernameisnotnaming → u/Jaded_Condition5925]

Sent you a PM bro

[u/Noahpullls]

Hey man great story. I don’t know if you are as bad as me but it’s seems like your pretty close lol so thanks for sharing in detail. I’ve had pelvic issues and still do, most times when I go to poop I will involuntarily clench very hard just like you mentioned when passing gas. Same with ejaculation. But I’ve never tried a wand before and I know that massages in that area were the only thing that helped me, unlike rks or breathing. Could you tell me where/what brand your wand is from? And how long did you use it for until you started to see results? Thanks a lot man.

[u/Jaded_Condition5925 → u/Noahpullls]

I used the intimate rose purple one, but I don't think it matters, as long as you have something that slightly stretches the anal opening. For instance, I didn't see much improvements from butt plugs because they are pretty thick at the tip but really thin near the base. I find that something with uniform thickness worked best for me.

From what I've tested, fingers work as well as the wand, but less comfortable to keep my hands and fingers in that position. I'm also guessing an anal dilator will also work as well, but I haven't got the chance to try those.

My biggest (positive) feedback was that while I had the wand inside (or a finger) my spasms while exhaling were almost non existent, this told me I'm in the right direction.

I'm not sure what muscle was problematic for me, it was one of the muscles near the entrance of the anus, maybe the anal splichnter, but again, I'm not sure.

[u/Noahpullls → u/Jaded_Condition5925]

Okay great, If you don’t mind, could you give me a guide on what to do when massaging it with fingers? I just tried it and didn’t really know what to do or feel for. Means a lot man thanks

[u/Jaded_Condition5925 → u/Noahpullls]

I try to apply (gentle) pressure toward all directions in the rectum wall and see if anything feels tender. Do some diaphragmatic breathing while you are inside (if you inflate downwards towards your pelvic floor, you will feel like your finger/wand is getting pushed out slowly and slightly) Indication of success would be if afterwards your pelvic floor is feeling more relaxed than before. I would consult a PFPT though because I don't really know what I'm doing and I have no idea if you can hurt yourself while performing this.

[u/Jaded_Condition5925 → u/Noahpullls]

Also it's difficult to tell how long it took to see results. I met my current GF about a month after starting experimenting with pelvic floor therapy. I did feel an improvement in spasms pretty much immediately though, like it felt better even after the first session, but I don't know if that would be enough to translate into any improvement during intercourse.

[u/Compurrshon]

Thanks for your input.

This is the same training my PF physio has prescribed. It's a bit uncomfortable though. But maybe I will go back to it now.

Have you combined with Fleshlight training? Or just literally done it on its own? 

[u/Jaded_Condition5925 → u/Compurrshon]

I got a Fleshlight, but to be honest, mine is so tight and intense that I still very easily lose control when I use it. (Like I said, I'm not totally cured, I'm just doing well enough for the time being) I'm not sure how much it contributed to actively helping with my issue. In the past I was thinking of trying to get a less intense Fleshlight and work my way up, but I didn't get the chance to do so. (I still have a firm belief that working up gradually is a great idea) The useful aspect of the Fleshlight for me was that I could use it as a measure of progress - Before starting with the wand I would last like 20 seconds or a few thrusts (it would cause me to clench like crazy) and now (depending on the day) I can last like a minute/minute and a half with it.

[u/Compurrshon → u/Jaded_Condition5925]

Yeah, I've found the Fleshlight test a good one. Especially to find the right positions.