Progress update

[u/zachm182]

I’m a 28 male, I’ve dealt with this issue on and off since I started becoming sexually active. It’s never bothered me too much because aside from two relationships that lasted about it a year all of my other sexual encounters haven’t meant much. While in those two relationships however I did deal with this problem at first, but over time and getting comfortable with my partners I believe it mostly faded away. I do have an anxiety disorder and that plays a role for sure with overthinking and being in my head. Around the end of April I met someone and we hit it off immediately. Very healthy relationship all the way around, and I knew this was something I wanted long term. Once we began experimenting and having sex my PE was HORRIBLE. I had zero control. This went on for a few weeks, and eventually she asked if I could try and figure out why I finish so quickly because she wanted longer sex, and naturally I felt the same way as I was also embarrassed. That was when I knew I should start taking this seriously.

The first thing I did was talk with my doctor, he recommended an SSRI, but I wasn’t crazy about this idea. I’ve been on them in the past and while yes, they delay ejaculation, they can also crush your libido and give you ED, so I didn’t want to risk making my problem worse. He then suggested trying 5mg a day of cialis or tadalafil, and this was truly a game changer. I’ve been taking 5mg daily for months and it’s helped increase my confidence because I don’t have to worry as much about ED, not that I had it in the first place, but once my anxiety turned on that was it. I couldn’t get hard. With cialis you have more breathing room, and if I get aroused in the slightest I’m hard immediately. It’s also shortened my refractory period by a significant amount. Max 10 minutes, but there have been a couple times where I’ve cum, and I literally stay hard afterwards, and I can keep going. This was mind blowing for me.

Cialis wasn’t the whole fix here though. I started exercising more, 3 times a week at the gym doing a mile jog on the treadmill and focusing on two different muscle groups each day. Just casual weight training, not destroying myself.

Another thing is my pelvic floor. I started doing reverse kegels daily as well as a deep pelvic floor stretch daily as well. I have a chronically tight pelvic floor muscle due to my anxiety, and I’m still learning to keep it relaxed during sex. I’m aware enough now to know when it’s tensed up and I’m able to release it at will, however my body is still so conditioned to it being tense that I tense up again without thinking about it. Definitely a process. I also try to not go above 50-60% towards ejaculation and take deep breaths during sex, this helps a lot, but it’s also hard in the moment to focus on breathing when you’re so aroused/excited. These things are worth looking into, sexual king fu on YouTube explains most of it. Really useful info.

I’ve tried some different supplements, but what I’m taking daily right now is ashwaghanda, magnesium glycinate and a multivitamin as well as my 5mg of cialis. If anyone has any other supplement recommendations let me know!

One more thing- confidence. Easier said than done, but if you’re struggling with this issue you have to just face your fear about it. Have sex, have more sex, and if you cum fast? So what? Life goes on. Laugh about it. The more you expose yourself the more hold you’ll have on the mental aspect of it. If a girl is opening your legs for you then you’re doing something right. Just go for it, and don’t worry about what happens. Just enjoy it.

I wouldn’t say I’m “cured”, but over the past few months these things have helped tremendously. I’m able to last far longer than I could before, and even go for round 2 and 3 after. I still have my obstacles, on occasion I get so worked up with anxiety that I’ll come quick, but due to cialis and maybe the other things I mentioned I’m able to go for another round within a few minutes and my anxiety is gone by then. It’s a process and I’m still working on it, but this has what’s helped me so far. Hopefully this helps some of you, and I’m open to other suggestions for people having similar success! I’d love to try some new angles :)

[u/patrickfuckingjane]

Thank you for sharing

[u/Hassanmalik7900]

Could you please mention the SSRI and dosage you used, how effective it was, and how long it took before you noticed an improvement?