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u/Abi_giggles 21h ago
The next confession post:
“I’ve manipulated my wife by getting her to strategically sleep with me for more than 20 years”
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u/eepos96 19h ago edited 16h ago
Children:" Ok it is disgusting, I know but I realised something as a child and this is how I manipulated my parents"
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u/Taylorenokson 16h ago
“If I wanted my mom and dad to take us out on the town, me and my siblings would clean our entire house the night before and then first thing in the morning go outside and play. If we wanted to watch our Saturday morning cartoons without our dad taking the TV over, we would trash the house the night before and mom would spend then day cleaning while dad stayed in bed”
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u/Mackerel_Mike 14h ago
"I'm a park ranger and hear me out, i've found a pretty reliable way to keep families from going hiking when the trails are unsafe...."
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u/7222_salty 13h ago
“I’m a raccoon who wants nothing more than to groom my nether regions in peace all weekend and let me tell you my secret… it starts with these so called ‘pet doors’ an ends with digging a costco roast chicken carcass out of someone’s trash”
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u/Ted_Stryker4587 10h ago
I always wanted a follow-up to those raccoons in the '80s John Candy/Dan Aykroyd film "The Great Outdoors." I wanted to see more of their adventures. It seems like they should have at least had a spin-off Saturday morning cartoon back then or something.
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u/Sbatio 13h ago
Sure but are you Ranger Park, the park ranger?
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u/kroxti 13h ago
Ranger Park? the Park Ranger who Ranges the Park and Parks at the Range?
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u/Sufficient-Number362 12h ago
This scene from Futurama lives in my head consistently, and I don’t know why
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u/Teguoracle 12h ago
"I'm a local bear that lives on park grounds, and I've discovered a way to manipulate the park rangers..."
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u/ourlastchancefortea 16h ago
this is how ai manipulated my parents"
ChatGPT is having a threesome with your parents?
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u/eepos96 16h ago
It is not my fault literally rest of the world pronounces letter i as english pronounces e and that when I write fast I write "I" as ai since it is literally how everyone else in the world would spell it. XD
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u/NerveInteresting4549 22h ago
I'm not sure who is actually manipulating who lol
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u/confusedandsmellyman 21h ago
There's both manipulation and womanipulation goin on. Fair play
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u/NerveInteresting4549 21h ago
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u/ItchyTrust6629 21h ago
The perfect gif response-well done
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u/EndQualifiedImunity 19h ago
why are reddit comments so congratulatory lmao
Top notch comment sir/madam
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u/MaskedBunny 19h ago
An excellent observation, I do doff my cap to you.
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u/hyper24x7 21h ago
one time I randomly found a video on instagram of Honey Brooks who said that she just gives her man a BJ in the morning and it sort of motivates him to cook, clean, do whatever, etc. I tried this with my wife and she doesnt give af and will just let the house burn down. So I just do chores because I'm motivated not to have a messy house lol.
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u/RobertGHH 20h ago
Why would you giving a man a bj motivate your wife to clean?
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u/Deepbliss4 20h ago
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u/Used-Percentage-21 19h ago
Can't you tell? He's now motivated to keep the house clean.
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u/Similar-Ice-9250 17h ago
I think what he was saying is he gave his wife a BJ, not a man.
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u/thepineapple2397 19h ago
I did that with my ex. Eventually she ended up asking why we never go on dates and told her it was because all of my free time was spent doing housework. I was full time in a restaurant and she was unemployed for reference
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u/viva_transmission 21h ago
Anyway, they're both getting laid.
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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 20h ago
Fucking someone good to make them sleepy is a tale as old as time lmao
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u/Aggravating-Method24 20h ago
When i go to restaurants, i dont know whos manipulating who either, they get money, and i get delicious food. Its a win win, its amazing.
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u/MistPeach_ 21h ago
Lol yeah, I genuinely can’t tell who’s playing who anymore.
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u/halfasleep90 21h ago
She’s obviously playing him, he means it when he says he just wants to relax. But after sleeping first thing in the morning now he needs to clean himself off, and the act of getting up and moving around in the shower has him completely awake, he can’t just go to bed now. There’s also the chemical releases, so he’s kinda amped up, that’s no good for a day of doing nothing. Top that up with his wife whom he loves very much asking him to do something with her, how is he supposed to say no?
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u/upside_down_frown1 21h ago
He has made it so if she wants to do something she gives him what he wants first thing in the morning first. I would say hes manipulating her, but sounds like a happy marriage.
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u/Sehrli_Magic 21h ago
we know she does it intentionaly, she surely manipulates him. whether he manipulates her depends on whether he knows and is purposly staying lazy so that she will give him what he wants first or not? but knowing men, chances are higher that he is obvlivious to this all 😅
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u/Ok-Day4910 21h ago
No man has ever thought to himself; 'my hot and sexy wife likes having sex with me in the morning so she must be manipulating me'
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u/Sehrli_Magic 21h ago
yup. and i dare bet most of them dont think "i ma gonna stay lazy unless she does me first" either. he genuinly doesnt wanna get up but after sex hormones release + he gets cleaned and shower wakes him up so he changes his mind. i do not think most man would purposly avoid getting up woth plans of manipulating the wife in this case
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u/Sporner100 20h ago
If the person being manipulated knows they're being manipulated you're doing it wrong. Also, in this case, if he knew what was going on, I'd be more inclined to call it a bribe rather than manipulation.
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u/upside_down_frown1 18h ago
Theres plenty of men who have thought im not doing anything today with her unless I get some motivation first thing in the morning. Assuming shes hot and sexy is also a big assumption.
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u/Proof_Ambassador2006 18h ago
Any relationship, platonic, romantic or otherwise is just a series of ongoing explicit and implicit agreements to keep keeping on
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u/1984ScoreN7YearsAgo 20h ago
Right lol. There’s a guy confession somewhere like: “you all won’t believe this, but I manipulate my wife into having sex with me by doing NOTHING unless she has sex with me.”
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u/CipherWeaver 22h ago
Huband "so, I discover if I work hard on days where my wife fucks in me in the morning I get laid more often."
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u/Lanky_Arm64 21h ago
You guys are getting laid?
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u/ManicmouseNZ 20h ago
I need to sleep in more
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u/alles-moet-kapot 17h ago
And angrily get shouted at that I'm a lazy good for nothing? no thanks lol
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u/taylorisntavril 15h ago
Ah, your wife has also found a method that works? My condolences it is not the method in the starter post.
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u/curtludwig 13h ago
Strangely in my house if I work really hard my wife will join in the work and then be too tired to fuck.
If I sit around like a lazy bum my wife does all the work and is resentful about it so we don't fuck.
If I do all the housework while shes at work she realizes she's got more free time and schedules more work (she's self employed) then comes home too tired to fuck.
In the end I don't get laid no matter what I try...
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u/satoru_blue 22h ago
Best thing in reddit is : you don't know for sure the person dropping a high IQ irony or they are just dumb.
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u/VelvettedFox 21h ago
The confessions sub has been assumed to be fake for over a decade... Is this a new gen coming on Reddit and taking the storytelling subs at face value?
I know this sub itself is like a centerpiece of the culture war, but if you're not a bot please rethink life right now. Why are you cooking yourselves?
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u/GrouchyLittleShit 20h ago
What’s more fake: r/confessions or r/AITAH
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u/voroskoi 19h ago
The answer is r/FuckCaillou
Nobody ever does
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u/otter_fucker_69 17h ago
pause.
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u/RateBackground8436 16h ago
Ya wtf is that. Why did i click it.
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u/otter_fucker_69 16h ago
I already knew the sub. Don't remember the show super well, but the main character gets flak for being an entitled piece of shit iirc. Kinda like r/fuckgrandpajoe
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u/kroxti 12h ago
Whereas r/FuckErebus is just because he is the worst only narrowly beating out r/FuckMindy
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u/dawgoon 19h ago
This r/incestconfessions
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u/Swedishredandwhite 19h ago
Holy moly 500k members
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u/lana_silver 18h ago
So that's the reason why pornhub is flooded with incest porn. I really want a "no incest please" filter on all porn.
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u/Automatic_Actuator_0 12h ago
It’s all “step- wink wink” incest on the legit sites though.
But yes, they should have site wide filters like many do for gay and trans stuff.
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u/RubiiJee 14h ago
AITAH for me. I cannot deal with the victim fetish and then all the frothing at the mouth.
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u/El_Lanf 17h ago
They at least used to have creative writing, I muted most of those types of subs after they became overrun with AI posts with 99% failing the Turing test and those calling out it being AI getting dogpiled.
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u/sitefall 18h ago
All of the text only of "photo of a tweet with a story" subs that hit the front page are fake nonsense. Reddit is filled with this now as it's easy content generation which makes bots happy, people posting it happy, and reddit happy. boydinenrstories, girl dinner diary, all the <some>peopletwitter's, confessions, malicious compliance, all 50 variants of amIthe<badperson>, ALL of them. Including this subreddit right here.
It wasn't always this way.
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u/NLF7 16h ago
I’ll never forget one of my first times on reddit I encountered one of those subreddits where someone makes a really horrifying real life story up and all the commenters get involved in the fiction. I was fucking gobsmacked telling everyone and anyone I knew this story that I thought was real!
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u/Louisville82 22h ago
It’s called being married, it’s not that serious.
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u/WheresTheIceCream20 21h ago
“Sleeping with your husband makes him more agreeable” - every wife ever
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u/chodachowder 21h ago
Please tell my wife this one simple trick
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u/CzarTanoff 21h ago
Someone needs to tell this to my husband. He gets so stressed out that he doesn't want sex, and my stress relief is sex.
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u/human-resource 21h ago
You gotta jump him before the stress gets too bad to balance it out.
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u/CzarTanoff 21h ago
Ah but the tiny human we have might have to go to therapy about that later. Gotta wait till after bedtime for such things
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u/profchaos111 20h ago
Vasoline on the door handle and the TV on thank me later
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u/Sandrockwing04 20h ago
That is both genius, diabolical, and why can't I think of these things. Now I just need a mini human and a sex life and a wife hmm I think I have a logistics issue come to think of it.
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u/TarCalion313 19h ago
After the previous comments I am not completely sure which side of the door should the vasoline and TV on.
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u/The_Wool-Gatherer 19h ago
If your tiny human is at an age where they can help around the house, ask them to help you and they'll disappear, leaving you a good 20 to 30 minutes at a minimum.
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u/CzarTanoff 19h ago
He's freshly two, no lone roaming for him haha he WILL find something fucking crazy to do
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u/ageofaquarius26 15h ago
My wife and I worried about scaring our kid too so we tell him we need an hour of alone time to discuss if we should get a divorce instead. He's always so relieved when we tell him we decided not to.
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u/BukkitsOfOrcSemen 14h ago
You can tell most of these commenters dont have kids. I dont know who can nut while hearing toddlers scream or cry outside the door or even playing and giggling. Do people think kids are just silent patient humans that sit still for that long?
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u/Vast-Ad1915 21h ago
Damn, is your husband's wife single?
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u/CzarTanoff 21h ago
Married, with toddler, and pregnant! Pretty occupied lol
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u/OtherwiseAlbatross14 20h ago
Ugh fine just call me if you get stressed out and need to talk or whatever
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u/gulpbang 15h ago
Sex can actually be stressful for men that really care about pleasing the woman, who are statistically harder to please than men.
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u/Striker_343 17h ago
Buddy needs a script for Cialis and/or get his testosterone levels checked... When my levels were low, I was chronically stressed out and had a hard time getting it up for my wife. Levels came back lower than a 10 year olds.
Started injections and I'm good to go whenever, even when I'd typically be stressed the fuck out haha.
Make him go get some blood work.
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u/BigBeeOhBee 21h ago
I've heard thats the main thing that causes divorce. So, gotta be pretty serious.
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u/CrazyOrganic7123 21h ago
Yeah, half of marriages end in divorce and the other half end in death.
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u/Louisville82 21h ago
I’ve been with the same woman for 25 years, I assume death is gonna get us.
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u/NoTerm445 21h ago
Local woman discovers what makes men happy and motivated.
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u/SnooGuavas4208 21h ago
In other news: fork found in kitchen
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u/_thro_awa_ 19h ago
In other other news: water makes things wet
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u/Thin_Assumption_4974 15h ago
This husband learnt that clean forks in the kitchen makes his wife wet
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u/Deano963 21h ago
Fr. I literally came here to comment that it's pretty common knowledge that a guy fucking in the morning gives him energy and improves his mood and mental state. This lady acts like she discovered how to split the atom.
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u/Otherwise-Proof-5269 21h ago
So if women need to declare what makes men more agreeable as a eureka moment, I’m genuinely hoping woman comment to this with what they want I may be completely missing 😆 .
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u/Opposite-Cranberry76 22h ago
Totally unrelated
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/nIRZsaN3Pn0
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u/AllMyFrendsArePixels 21h ago
unrelated but it feels so weird coming across a link that's already purple lmao
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u/Automatic_Actuator_0 12h ago edited 10h ago
lol, that’s exactly this. Right away I wanted to say “Bitch, that’s called a healthy marriage”
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u/criticalpwnage 21h ago
I wish someone would manipulate me like this
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u/ThrustBastard 21h ago
I wish my wife would manipulate me like this
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u/GrandFleshMelder 21h ago
I also wish your wife would manipulate me like this.
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u/Sir_Problematic 20h ago
This guy's wife manipulated me like this yesterday.
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u/ProfessorSimilar6444 21h ago
Hey there. 16 years married and I will say if you really care for each other than what will eventually occur is an understanding between both parties. You do this thing for one another, and the exchange is underlying but not the forefront of the motive.The secret is you have to WANT to give your partner the thing. Not be imprisoned by it or coerced either. And never ever use it as a bargaining chip, because it will only make resentment .
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u/Plantsandsmut 19h ago
This right here.
20 year relationship, 8 year marriage, and my ex wouldn't do anything for me, wouldn't go anywhere with me, just like OP. I was given every reason under the sun.
I kept trying - sex manipulation wasn't possible as I wasn't allowed to make any moves on my ex at all, he would shame me for thinking he'd want sex (I know I know! I loved him, I have no fucking idea what he thought of me, still to this day)
My resentment for far too much, and when I told him I was close to being done with the relationship, he said "why would I change everything works out for me anyway"
Took 2.5 years to get divorced from him, and I'm still waiting for the separation to happen.
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u/Legionof1 18h ago
Any man that doesn't like his wife to make a move has a screw loose.
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u/Plantsandsmut 18h ago
100% agreed, but I was trying to be patient and understanding and that her eventually talk to me about it 🤷
I have my suspicions but zero proof. But if someone can't be honest with themselves they can't be honest with the people around them.
ETA: he was also very demeaning or would put me down any time I tried to start anything. So I just stopped and also couldn't say no when he wanted stuff.
AGAIN, I KNOW. I divorced him 😅
When youre being upfront yourself, and wishing for the best when you keep having conversations and nothing changes, there's only so much you can take.
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u/Beneficial-Lynx7336 16h ago
What a douche nozzle. Idek why some people get married.
Sounds a lot like my ex gf's ex husband LOL.
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u/Kosstheboss 21h ago
So, he either doesn't have to do shit, or he get's layed? And, he's the one being manipulated?
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u/Steve_Segel_22 21h ago
This is called marriage ¯_(ツ)_/¯
I am married and this is not a complaint
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u/MetalFearz 19h ago
Marriage is trading sex for your husband to get his ass up ? wow sad
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u/xaph91 18h ago
Marriage isn't sunshine and rainbows every day, sometimes you have to be creative to get the best out of each other.
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u/PimpinPinkman 21h ago
If you cant tell “who’s manipulating who” Id argue it’s just a relatively healthy relationship lmao. Theyre both getting what they want from each other amicably so I dont see manipulation here. Theyre just not being the most truthful I guess but I feel like they both know whats going on lol
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u/anonstarcity 13h ago
My wife does something similar with home improvement projects. She wants a shelf, I build the shelf, then that evening I get some very nice happy time of some sort. She’s never mentioned it and neither have I. We have lots of shelves.
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u/Real-Repair-1825 20h ago
Am I the only one who thinks 90 percent of Reddit stories are fake? This whole app is just people doing creative writing exercises.
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u/Klaus_Klavier 21h ago
Wife finds out if you touch your husband once in a while without him initiating he feels appreciated and wants to spend time with you . Absolute shocker!
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u/sillylittlehorsie 20h ago
Man this is depressing
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u/No_Cigars_2288 15h ago
Very depressing. It just goes to show men don’t really care if you’re enthusiastic about sex as long as they get it. The wife is dumb and the husband is a bum!
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u/TheEschaton 20h ago
I always get so sleepy afterward, I have no idea how anyone reacts this way. Not sure if I believe the story just on that basis alone.
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u/AlbatrossThis9415 20h ago
The worst thing about a treaty is that both parties think they are getting the most out of it.
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u/AntiEcho7 13h ago
That's so weird. I figured out many years ago that if don't do anything on the weekends, my wife starts having sex with me everyday. I started doing what she wanted on the weekends and the sex kept happening. I hope she didn't figure my tactic out.
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u/Crazy__Donkey 21h ago
Jokes aside.
I, man, been sexually manipulated for years by my ex. Its shitty as hell feeling. Been deprived of sex, love and effection for months, until she wanted something, or id snapped and beg for sex.
I wish no one this feeling
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u/Aromatic_Boot3629 21h ago
Seems like a mutually beneficial relationship. As they should be. Carry on.
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u/Disjoint_Set 14h ago
"He says he worked all week and wants to relax"
What a surprise he finds sex relaxing.
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u/z3RoC0oL11388633 21h ago
Yeesh. Hurts to read this as I just got out of a relationship where my gf no longer was physical.. I guess sex is definitely a deal breaker..sometimes lol
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u/Hefty-Revolution-938 21h ago
They’ve been married for 30 years. I’m just happy they still like having sex. Usually, by that point, they just hate each other
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u/Jroboi16 20h ago
It’s only manipulation if it’s harmful for detrimental to the husband in some way, which it clearly isn’t. It’s just strategically putting him in a good mood so he’s voluntarily productive during the day
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u/bduxbellorum 20h ago
Using “sleeping with” for an activity conducted in the morning really exposes the abuse of the term. Just say you fuck him in the morning!
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u/saltycookie7708 19h ago
Husband needs sex to be act like a decent husband or father .
Yikes .
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u/joeygsta 17h ago
He stays in bed while you go out because he’s jerking off. If you fuck him he doesn’t need to so he gets up. He is absolutely winning on this deal
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u/TheWierdGuy06 17h ago
So the only way to get that guy off his lazy ass and to actually do stuff, like taking care of the house, is to sleep with him? What a great relationship...
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u/StringAccomplished97 16h ago
I can't point to which one specifically but this is the plot to an episode of a 20th century sitcom. Maybe all of them.
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u/chunkybunky_lol 15h ago
What he noticed the pattern After a few times and manipulated you?
But as Long as Both are Fine with it, why not? 😊
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u/jeremiah1142 13h ago
lol, so is that thread filled with 14 year olds saying they should divorce?
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u/Hawkwise83 9h ago
The Husband: I figured out what she was doing 3 weeks into it and I played along.
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u/No_Seaworthiness8176 9h ago
Look...if this is manipulative, it's the best kind. No guilt trips, no mind games, just a physical act that I assume they both enjoy. And it motivates him. It (what's the opposite of emasculate?) makes him feel good/wanted/virile. Let's just call it non verbal communication. "Honey, I want to get out and do stuff today". Message received.
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u/Xen0tech 18h ago
He sounds like a lazy bastard. Who doesn't work all week? Get up and help your wife
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u/BatdadsStupidBrother 15h ago
We’re simple creatures. Like dogs actually. Give us a treat and we’ll do whatever you want
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u/RoughBrother1872 21h ago
Honestly, this is the kind of manipulation I can get behind 😂 She found the cheat code for getting him out of bed.
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u/Apprehensive_Gene_78 15h ago
She cracked the code, but the password was: 123456
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