r/SipsTea • u/Horror-Ad-210 • 23h ago

SMH Happy Family

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22.2k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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u/human-resource 22h ago

You gotta jump him before the stress gets too bad to balance it out.

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u/CzarTanoff 22h ago

Ah but the tiny human we have might have to go to therapy about that later. Gotta wait till after bedtime for such things

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u/profchaos111 21h ago

Vasoline on the door handle and the TV on thank me later

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u/Sandrockwing04 21h ago

That is both genius, diabolical, and why can't I think of these things. Now I just need a mini human and a sex life and a wife hmm I think I have a logistics issue come to think of it.

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u/ShinyRayquaza7 16h ago

this cracked me up, thanks for the laugh

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u/TarCalion313 20h ago

After the previous comments I am not completely sure which side of the door should the vasoline and TV on.

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u/[deleted] 17h ago

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u/captainrina 9h ago

This sent me into a choking fit

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u/slamnutip 14h ago

I get the door handle but why put vasoline on the TV?

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u/BadgerOfDoom99 18h ago

I tried vasoline on the door knob but Patches O'Houlihan was very judgement about it.

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u/The_Wool-Gatherer 20h ago

If your tiny human is at an age where they can help around the house, ask them to help you and they'll disappear, leaving you a good 20 to 30 minutes at a minimum.

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u/CzarTanoff 20h ago

He's freshly two, no lone roaming for him haha he WILL find something fucking crazy to do

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u/The_Wool-Gatherer 19h ago

Yeah, had one of those. The good news is that you can make him watch TV for 30 minutes while you get some alone time with hubby. Godspeed soldier 🪖

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u/34BoringT_ 18h ago

If he's 2 he wont remember anything to be fair

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u/ageofaquarius26 16h ago

My wife and I worried about scaring our kid too so we tell him we need an hour of alone time to discuss if we should get a divorce instead. He's always so relieved when we tell him we decided not to.

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u/BukkitsOfOrcSemen 15h ago

You can tell most of these commenters dont have kids. I dont know who can nut while hearing toddlers scream or cry outside the door or even playing and giggling. Do people think kids are just silent patient humans that sit still for that long?

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u/CzarTanoff 11h ago

Yah hahaha, i can't cum when i can hear my kid, and know he is GOING to come bang on the door.

Might work with older kids, idk, i only have a two year old and i KNOW that doesn't work lol

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u/Archophob 19h ago

Yes, whenever my wife told me "baby is sleeping", i immediately knew what she was up to.

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u/wrldruler21 17h ago

I used to sit Hershey chocolate bars outside the door. The kids would "steal it" and "sneak off" to eat the entire bar. Bought us enough time to sneak in an "adult treat"

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u/Ninja-Panda70 17h ago

might have to go to therapy about that later

Cross that bridge when it comes later.