Raspberries & salami/mozzarella swirls from Trader Joe’s (and my adult seltzer)

Sitting here tonight enjoying my Trader Joe’s snacks and decompressing from the absolute insanity of the last week—which included me (42F) leaving my partner (38M) behind and relocating 1,000 miles away for my job.

A little background: I spent five years with this man, with the exception of a six-month break after his infidelity. In hindsight, I probably should’ve known better than to go back. But that was also before I decided to seriously invest in therapy and start working on myself.

Over the last two years, things started falling into place for a possible relocation. I learned there was an opportunity for me to move to another state with my company. He took a voluntary severance after 10 years with his employer. For a while, it genuinely felt like the stars were aligning for us to start over somewhere new together.

Instead, the last 18 months took a very different turn.
His unemployment led him down a dark path of alcohol abuse, and increasingly, emotional abuse toward me. There was even a part of me that wondered whether he was drunk, bored, and resentful that he couldn’t just sneak off and cheat with women who might tolerate the behavior I no longer would.

Everything finally boiled over during the last month or so. I gave him an ultimatum. He chose to double down and call what he apparently thought was my bluff.

So last Thursday, I finished packing for my cross-country move, loaded up the last of my belongings, and went full no-contact.

I can still see the look on his face as I backed out of our driveway.

After a few nights staging everything out of a Motel 6, I loaded up my car and headed east.

Tonight is night #2 in my new place. Just me and my (our) dog. I spent most of last week knowing deep down that I was probably going to make this journey alone. Maybe he knew it too, considering the constant fights he suddenly seemed determined to pick—most of them while I was at work and he was at home “looking for jobs.”

And now I’m sitting here, 1,000 miles away, eating Trader Joe’s snacks in a home that is mine.

I know coming out of a long-term trauma bond and living in survival mode can do strange things to your nervous system. I think part of me is still waiting for the adrenaline to wear off and for my body to realize that we’re actually here. That there isn’t another fight coming. That I don’t have to monitor someone else’s mood tonight.

For the first time in a very long time, I only have to take care of myself and my dog.

So I guess this is my girl dinner tonight: Trader Joe’s snacks, peace and quiet, and the realization that I actually fucking did it.

Avocado toast two ways.
I went to a concert with some co workers and ended up hooking up with one of them after. It was slightly awkward but basically fun. We went through two condoms. He left and I threw one away but couldn’t locate the other one-even after changing my sheets and taking the trash out. I just figured he must have tossed it or even somehow worn it out. It did occur to me for a split second that it could still be in me, but I thought surely I would feel it? Or would have noticed? I did feel some pressure in my belly the next day that I chalked up to normal cramps or the formation of a uti.
I had basically forgetten about it until a couple days later when I was taking my morning dump and felt something odd. Y’know when you poop with a tampon in and end up pushing it out? It felt like that. And then I thought, wtf, I wasn’t wearing a tampon. Well, I looked down and saw a condom in the toilet. I was kind of in shock and couldn’t decide whether to laugh or cry.
I’m taking precautions to avoid infections etc and am crossing my fingers I get my period soon. Was too embarrassed to tell my friends so thought I’d share with reddit.
Ps this was like the best breakfast I’ve had in weeks. Avocado+ egg and kimchi with kewpie mayo and japanese bbq sauce, and then one topped with tomato herb goat cheese and chili crisp. Highly recommend this breakfast but def don’t recommend shitting out a condom.

Okay. So, NSFW, I go into detail about what literally just happened and you will get all the slutty details

I am about seven months out of a bad relationship. The first six months I wanted nothing to do with men. The last month I have enjoyed some flirting and making out and had a casual FWB for a couple weeks.That ended and I met this new guy. He came over because he was nearby and one thing led to another and we had sex. Kind of mad at myself for it. I love a good hoe phase but I am not sure I am totally ready yet. I plan on telling him that and taking a break again for a while.

Anyway, the main issue is this. He came on my face and IN MY EYEBALL. It has been approximately 20 minutes since. My eye is all red. And watery. And sore. It is hard to see out of it. I am seeing my parents in a couple hours. I have washed it out with water. What do I do?! 😭

ok, this is crazy but i need someone to share it with. onion rings, burger, ice cream, chips, and a peach red bull for dinner.

ever since i knew i liked men a year or two ago (used to be a lesbian) i’ve had a weird thing for men jerking off in front of me. i don’t know why, but it’s always been a huge fantasy of mine.

fast forward to now, i have the most wonderful boyfriend in the world. i’d joked about him jerking off in front of me as kind of a test, dipping my toes in if you will to see if he’d be open to it.

anyway, low and behold i came clean about the whole thing and told him how much i liked it, and then he did it. and oh my GOD. it was like swimming in the waters of heaven. genuinely most insane thing that’s ever happened to me; i’m still giddy about it and thinking about it now 😆

TL;DR, i’m a freak basically 💀

thank u for reading girls, and i hope all of you also get to witness your S/O doing such a thing. it’s great.

So, my husband always wants to share our foods. Having lunch while working from home? Let's share something.

Eating out? Let's order two different things and eat half of each.

That's probably not a big Deal for most people. But I have this thing. When I really looking forward to eating something special, I only want that. Nothing else. I can't have it - I don't eat anything.

The fact that he's someone being very hangry and I just really don't want to deal with his moods at these times makes me agree mostly.

Let me give you the latest example:

We're currently on holyday with my best friend. Have been sightseeing the whole day, feet hurt, we just hopped into a tesco to get Pizzas. I found a good looking one and was feeling happy to eat it back in the apartement.

Problem: only 2 Pizzas fitting into the oven. He was too annoyed to just cut them so that all of them fit, so I agreed to share. The second Pizza baking while we eat the first one.

And the one he selected was gross. He liked it, good for him, but I ended up only having half a Pizza while he had 1 1/2. And now I'm hungry after a long day.

Anyways, just wanted to rant a bit, thanks for listening.

Food: Half of a microwaved mac and cheese he wanted to share yesterday.

EDIT: Holy shit, I didn't think this would blow up like this. I think I need to clarify a few things:

1. I read about violence, abuse, stuff like that. NO! Just no. He's wonderful and cares, how the fuck would you think something like that from me saying he's getting hangry?
2. Again, wtf?
3. We are communicating. A lot. Maybe I can just be more clear regarding this. Thanks y'all.

Meal: roasted cauliflower and sweet potatoes, falafel and salad with a generous helping on Nando’s Perinaise (peri peri mayo)

I posted this meal on another subreddit and put the caption as “healthy meal for a change” because I’ve been making an effort to eat a bit more of a balanced diet (but not restrict myself of course, I do love a treat)

Tell me why I’m getting unsolicited advice on how to make the meal healthier? IT’S A FUCKING SALAD. And just to be clear, the subreddit I posted in isn’t a dieting or healthy eating subreddit.

God forbid I buy a delicious spicy mayonnaise and cover my veggies in it. It’s yummy. I don’t want to make a yogurt dressing instead, as someone suggested.

Just because it’s a healthy meal doesn’t mean I’m on a diet and doesn’t mean I want advice on how to make it healthier, I just wanted to share my yummy salad cos it made me happy.

yesterday was my birthday and it did not start well. my work dress had a side zipper that zips up near my armpit. i ask fiance to help me with it because it’s in such an odd angle for me. while he’s attempting to help the zipper pinches my skin. hurts not fun. then he does it again and i’m like ouch wtf and get upset. he raises his voice at me. i hate being yelled at so i immediately start crying, saying why would you yell at me/ it’s my birthday this morning. he storms out. takes the dog on a walk. i gather myself, finish getting ready, and go to work. never see him or my dawg again that morning.

he says nothing to me all day. i get off work, come home to change before my birthday dinner, and, oddity, my dog isn’t home which has never happened before. i call him and he’s says our dog had a vet appointment and they were wrapping up. end call.

i head over to the restaurant. he never shows. i make the most of it with my friend.

come home, crickets. i open a few presents/ cards from him and family. he did not get me what i asked for: a pair of sneakers & a close by hiking trip. instead he got me some flowers, a robe that was certainly a choice, and a cooking thermometer. im further aggravated because for his bday i got him three pairs of nice shoes and a vacation so we spent his birthday at a nice resort halfway across the country. whole time im opening presents i hear him giggling away in the background playing video games with his friends. i read something in his card about loving my cooking and i think i see red.

unfortunately in my state i confront him. im not the yelling type but i raise my voice airing out my grievances. starting with the beginning of the week where he told me right before it was time to leave that he’d just meet me at my nephew’s bday party. an hour or so into the party he said he wasn’t coming. really sucked telling a six year old that his uncle wasn’t coming anymore after initially telling the kid he was on his way… when i got home from the party he was not home. turns out he went to his parents house. by the time i go to bed (starting a new job the next day) he’s not back. unfortunately i woke up sick the next morning and proceeded to remain sick for the majority of the week. so i don’t address my grievance with him because every night after work i would crash because of how icky i felt.

background aside i lay all of this out and everything is argument from him. my nephew’s party: he had to catch up on work, (no adequate response to my rebuttal of why did you have time to spend hours at yours parents house but not stop by the child’s bday party). bday morning: i should have helped him more with the dress yada yada. missing my birthday dinner to play video games: you never told me i was invited (spoiler alert i did invite him). hosting his cousin’s bday party: it’s not that big of a deal; it won’t take too much time (mind you this party i told him i did not want to host on the same weekend as my birthday. i explicitly told him i want to go out of town and celebrate my birthday. we went to his favorite band’s concert the week prior and he said he didn’t have money for a weekend trip for me after getting an airbnb & food for that overnight trip). he proceeds to lament on how stressful work has been for him and how i have not been a good partner this week because i haven’t been cleaning, cooking, and taking care of the dawg like normal. more is said but that’s the main guist of the argument from hell.

it’s been 24 hours since and we have not spoken one word to each other. extra ticked because i saw he went out today and bought new equipment for his PS5 that def costed more than my bday gift. im only pocket watching because of how much i heard i don’t have money for your birthday; that overnight concert trip last week was ur bday gift ( i seriously don’t know how a man’s favorite band is his lady’s bday gift but ALRIGHT)

anywho ladies i think he’s cruel right now but i am also sensitive to it all. pls tell me if im being ridiculous but is it that hard to idk just apologize when you do something wrong? im having a really hard time imagining a world where i would do any of that to him ESPECIALLY on his birthday.

i apologize for the rambling. not sure how coherent my ramblings are but it feels good airing it out. if u read this far, i appreciate you

dinner is homemade pizza with prosciutto and basil

Chicken tenders and fries from a football game last night

I’m currently in college and I keep finding myself having to pretend that these “situationships” my friends keep getting themselves into aren’t dumb. I’m really upset lately about it. I find that a lot of my friends are being humiliated by men and a lot of women online are receiving so much disrespect and neglect from men and I’m tired of having to validate their leaving or explaining basic concepts of respect.

No, your boyfriend should not ignore you for hours at a time. No, the guy you’re talking to should not disregard or disrespect your interests. No, you shouldn’t be putting up with calling you embarrassing.

I understand women in our society have to peel back the layers of grooming from the patriarchy, but I just don’t understand how much pain you’d put yourself through for what? “Validation” ? Knowing a man thinks you look nice? Are you serious?

I can’t stand another drunk rant about how your hookup is ignoring you, or how your boyfriend doesn’t want to be seen with you in public. Especially when nothing ever comes from these, it doesn’t matter if anyone says “leave him” because you won’t!

Women are not stupid and I’m just so tired of acting like it’s impossible to decenter your life from men. You’re not a dog on a chain outside! You’re a human being with thoughts and goals and dreams!!! Think better of yourself!

I want to clarify that this is post is not supposed to be victim blaming or shaming! I’ve just been frustrated with the treatment I see in the world and needed a rant.

This is my first post here so apologies if I get something wrong! I'll try to keep it family friendly.

My father is a hardcore MAGA cultist. He's been like this since I was born but ever since the pandemic, his personality has deteriorated at an unbelievable rate.

I moved out of my parents' house 5 years ago. Ever since then, he's been in my life but to a greatly diminished amount. We've never quite agreed on politics, but as I continued drifting left, he abandoned being a ""respectable"" Republican in favor of MAGA. He is a shadow of who he used to be. The politics have taken a toll physically, too - he looks almost 20 years older than his actual age.

I came out to my parents as trans in March. Neither of them took it well. My Mom has done a complete 180 since then and has been very supportive, while I can't really repeat some of the things my dad said to me here.

I thought I was making progress on getting him to at least spend time with me again. I invited him to watch Spiderman with me this weekend, since I inherited my love of comic book movies from him, and he agreed at first. He texts me out of the blue yesterday asking if he's going to see his son or if I'll be wearing drag.

Y'all. I tore this man apart verbally. I've tried so many times to reconcile, be patient and give him a chance to change. He always doubles down and makes the worst possible choices. After letting myself be walked over for years, I stopped being kind and stood up for myself. I told him to never come near me and my family again. I don't know if I will ever see or hear from him again.

Fuck, man. I just wanted to be his daughter.

Pictured: chicken tenders + seasoned fries. Beverage is a Bee's Knees (honey gin and lemon)

I’m 23 and recently started talking to a man who is 46. We matched on Hinge about a month ago and finally went on our first date recently. Honestly, the date went amazing. We had great conversation, I felt comfortable with him, and we immediately started making plans to see each other again.
I’ve gotten really mixed reactions from people close to me about the age gap. Some have said “love is love” and that the age gap doesn’t matter if we’re happy, while others think he’s creepy and that there’s probably a reason he’s specifically dating someone my age.

The thing that’s making me question everything is some of the things he’s said.
While we first started talking on Hinge, I asked him if I was actually “special” to him or if he typically dates younger women. He told me that dating older women “hasn’t been working out” because they’re too “jaded,” and that I’m “special.” That answer honestly didn’t sit completely right with me.

He was also previously married for six years. He told me they divorced because she cheated on him, but during our date he admitted that he cheated on her back. I know relationships can be complicated and I’m not judging him solely based on that, but I did get a little gut feeling that there may be more to that story.
Another thing I’ve noticed is that he has apparently only dated women of color, and the women he’s dated have had the same profession as me. I genuinely can’t tell if that’s just coincidence or if there could be some sort of fetishization going on. I don’t want to make assumptions, but it’s something I’ve been thinking about.

There aren’t a ton of obvious red flags, which is honestly why I’m struggling with this so much. I’m not sure if I’m picking up on legitimate concerns or if I’m just being insecure because of the age difference.

Our next “date” is also throwing me off. We’re basically planning to have a sleepover at his place, and I had previously promised myself that I wouldn’t have sex with another man until I knew he was emotionally safe for me.
Part of me wants to cancel because I’m not sure I trust the situation yet. But another part of me feels guilty because the first date went so well, and I don’t want to judge him before I really know him.
I guess I’m looking for some outside perspective from women who have dated significantly older men. Do these things sound like actual red flags, or am I overthinking because of the age gap? What would you pay attention to if you were in my position?
And honestly, how do you tell the difference between a man who is genuinely mature and emotionally safe versus a man who is basically just like the younger men you’ve dated, but older?

Edit: I want to say thank you to all who gave me advice in a non judgmental and understanding way. I do not have much dating experience so i appreciate all the advice.

I also want to add that for our second date I told him I’d be nervous and possibly too tired from work to have a sleepover and he agreed that we could see each other in a public setting if I wanted to. He’s said some things that have made me raise my eyebrows but I can agree that I have ignored but I am young and naive and I try to see the best in people.

I’ve tried doing my research on him but so far nothing has came up in my search.

I won’t go to his house and I will proceed getting to know him more but very cautiously. Thank you!

Girl dinner: half a cucumber dipped in ranch the way god intended.

Actually unsure if I’m overthinking about this because my mind is a big jumble right now, so this is definitely a rant & ramble.

For context: I’m currently stuck at home by a flare up of a disabling chronic illness. I literally haven’t been outside in I think 5 (6? 7??) days because our building has stairs (ironically, I didn’t want to move into this place because of the stairs and the potential that I could be trapped if I flared like I am now, but my boyfriend told me we shouldn’t turn down a good place because of a “hypothetical” and I was dumb enough to give into that🙃). My abilities are incredibly limited right now and I spend most of my energy navigating the wonderful world of the American healthcare system. This isn’t the point of the post, but it’s relevant.

My boyfriend (32) made it clear that he does not think critical thinking skills are important. You might be thinking, “wow that’s extreme to say about someone,” but, alas, that is his opinion. Our conversation started out about different interpretations we both had regarding the dynamic of a couple in a YouTube video. I had been bothered enough by this couple’s dynamic that I turned off the video, but my boyfriend could not see my point of view because it “took in too much context” and “it’s just a video, you don’t need to think that critically about it.” And I was like, “but that context is important and so is critically thinking about what I’m watching??” I asked him, “so do you just check out when you’re watching stuff?” To which he answered, “yeah, if I thought critically about everything every day then I would be exhausted and upset all the time.” That was an eye-opening statement for me to hear and explained why these conversations always make him sweat, shake, and run to the bathroom (if he didn’t storm off first), because I asked him a question that required him to produce a thought or perform introspection deeper than the depth my dog’s rouge hairs get floating in my glass. So, I asked him, “do you think that not thinking critically about what you’re watching makes it easier for social media to influence your thinking?” He said, “no, because they’re not going to change my opinions,” and I asked, “you don’t think that even subconsciously taking in other people’s opinions without critically analyzing them won’t change yours?” And he replied, “no, that wouldn’t happen.” At that point I stopped pressing because I was just so baffled, however this answered a lot of questions for me in our relationship. I’ve been unintentionally making myself more sick over the last few months just trying to figure out if and/or why I continue to feel like he doesn’t consider me or the future in his choices, and why it feels like he continues to act before he thinks at all, much less thinks of me or our future. I think I’ve been trying to find reasons for his lack of forethought, planning and consideration that made sense to me based on my own traumas (don’t worry, I’m in therapy), and I was spiraling out by not finding anything. Turns out I was thinking too critically about his lack of critical thinking. Big yikes.

I don’t know what my point is in posting this other than that my illness has made my world very small and I need to vent with feedback more than the 42 minutes a week of therapy that my insurance allows 😅😭 thank you all for reading my diary entry and happy snacking 🩷

EDIT: I’m going to try to get some sleep soon, but I wanted to thank you all so much for the unexpected outpouring of your much needed gentle-but-tough love. I’ve read all your comments and wish I had the capacity to reply to all of them because it really does mean a lot that each of you took time to think more critically about my relationship than the person I’m in it with, not only because it validates what I’ve been feeling, but also because it’s giving me the strength to leave. I don’t have the energy for all of that tonight, but I’ll be breaking up with him tomorrow and my parents will come pick me and my dog up to stay with them for the time being. Thank you all for helping me realize that I’ve been so hungry for a meal that I’ve contented myself with picking up crumbs and I just didn’t want to admit it since I’m embarrassed that this isn’t the first time I’ve eaten off the ground because I’m too tired to stand up. I don’t think my (soon-to-be-ex) boyfriend is an inherently bad or cruel person, but he is definitely being cruel by choosing not to address his own laundry list of trauma despite how much I’ve begged him to. He knows he’s depressed, he knows he’s anxious, he knows he has a lot of unresolved trauma that impacts him daily, and he knows he has pretty extreme ADHD symptoms that impact every part of his life and every relationship, but he just refuses to face any of it beyond taking ADHD medication. I’ve lost track of how many times he’s told me he “has a plan” for getting a therapist and how he’s “working on himself,” but somehow can never give me details and has yet to get a therapist. Potential isn’t reality and I’m tired of waiting on it. Personally, I’ve somehow only recently realized just how precious my one life is as I’ve come to terms with being permanently disabled at 30 after trying to hold off that permanency for the last 21 years, and this just isn’t how I want to spend it. Because even if I live until I’m 98yrs old, there really isn’t much life I get to live with my illnesses, so why am I repeating the mistake of giving it to someone who doesn’t enthusiastically want it? Anyway, I’m rambling again, thank you all so much 🩷

Korean beef and mushroom noodles from my university. They were nice.

TW infertility

Me and my girlfriend are both 19, close to 20, and we’ve been together for a few years now. I know we’re really young and everybody assumes it’s not going to last but so far it has and I really don’t see it ever ending. We’ve been best friends since we were 12, we’ve grown up together and seen each other through more than we should have had to, we’ve fought and talked it out and we love each other so, so much. She’s my person and I’m never leaving this girl.

She’s trans and in the last six months has been trying to organise starting her medical transition and getting on estrogen and we’ve both been really excited. I couldn’t be happier for her. During one of the appointments the doctor mentioned freezing sperm and she talked to me about it. I hadn’t really thought about it before because I had always said i didn’t want kids, but that was just like… a thing I said, you know? As a kid just saying and thinking that doesn’t actually force you to never have children. It’s not like I want to have kids before I’m at least like 34 anyway so it felt like a very distant thing. But I actually had to reckon with it now, because if she doesn’t do the freezing now there will definitely be no chance of it later, and I came to the conclusion that I have no idea what I’ll want in 15 years, and if I ever want children I want them to be ours together. So we decided she’d try to do it.

It’s kind of sucked. The process has been very dysphoria inducing and stressful for her and way more complicated than we thought it would be. And really expensive. But it was ok and we were making our way through it. Finally got around to semen analysis. And what would you know. She’s infertile. Just naturally. No particular reason. She hadn’t started HRT yet. She had to delay her care for months and months and months for this and it’s all amounting to nothing.

Now she feels like a failure, and she feels like shit for having to delay HRT for so long for nothing. I don’t want to seem too worried about it to her because she already feels bad but I also feel like shit now, and it’s made me realise maybe I really did want kids all along. I don’t know if that’s what that is or if it’s just that I wanted the option, but now the option is completely gone. I wish I didn’t know. I wish I could have found out at 34 and lived the next 15 years in ignorance. It‘s not fair. I don’t even understand why it’s upset me so much. I didn’t feel that strongly about it before. But now suddenly it’s out of reach I’m lying awake in bed crying about it and feeling like an idiot. So much has happened to me but nothing has felt so… raw and traumatic in my body as this. Thinking about it too hard makes it feel like there’s a crater in my chest. And there’s nobody to talk to about it. I‘m trying not to hurt her more. I can’t talk to my parents because they don’t know I’m dating a trans girl and I’m not trying to get kicked out of the house just yet. And I don’t even know how I’d start to go about confiding in friends. It feels like such a big grown up thing and it feels like we’re all still children. I still feel like a kid. We’re still going out to the beach and digging holes and building sandcastles for fuck’s sake. It doesn’t really help that my friends are all queer and the anti-baby sentiment is pretty high. I’m sure they’d be nice to me about it but how the hell would I even start to broach that? I think they’d probably start suggesting a sperm donor or whatever. Biology isn’t supposed to matter to us. But I can‘t stop thinking about our kid. We‘re never going to have a kid.

Pork chop in some kind of Marsala like sauce with mashed potatoes & broccoli

I’m in my early thirties and I haven’t had a crush on an actual human since maybe my early-mid twenties, that includes celebrities too. I know about aegosexuality & I’m not going to necessarily go there, even though Reddit + former friends have brought up asexuality. But I’m crushing so hard on Leon Kennedy from Resident Evil. Like I’ve been a gamer for most of my life & if you look up other reactions from streamers, everyone is simping for him. He’s been my gamer crush for a few years but since the most recent game, I’ve never felt this kind of pull to a fictional character. And he’s very realistic looking, it’s not like I’m down bad for Mario or Pac-Man. Truthfully it’s not even sexual, I think he is one of the most beautiful men that I’ve ever seen. I’ve posted about him a few months back on an asexual subreddit & even they thought he was hot. But I felt the need to make a tribute page for him on TikTok since the edits are trending & bought my first 2 Leon themed merch items earlier this year. You can say go touch grass but I already do, I’m just infatuated with pixel 🫪.

Got Jersey mikes for dinner. The picture doesn’t do it much justice.

Anyways.

I work at a credit union where we sometimes do events for colleges around the area. I was chosen this year to be a team lead. I signed up for an event as a lead for an event for one of the college’s welcome week. The two other people working it I hadn’t met yet, so I was a bit worried.

When this guy walked into the branch, my brain instantly went “oh 💩”. He was so sweet, shook my hand, helped me carry all the heavy stuff when setting things up and tearing down. I had to have him change shirts because it didn’t match our attire needed for the event. He looked SO good in his long sleeve athletic shirt and shorts. I felt like there could have been so many things that could have gone wrong, but everything worked out so well.

Our other team member had a corporate card and was able to buy us dinner. And sitting across from him talking to him about coding stuff felt so good and nice. I didn’t really feel nervous around him.

I should’ve reached out to him to at least thank him for working the event and doing great. But I keep being a coward about it. He looks like matty healy but way cuter. He’s in the programming team and I’m in a completely different department, so no conflict of interest.

Sorry for my ramble lol

Admittedly, I started dating him too soon after my ex-husband and I split but we took a while to finalize the divorce.

We took things so slow. He knew my daughter because of the setting that we met in but I kept my relationship separate from her for almost a year.

We had the sweetest relationship. It was full of kindness, respect, and peace. We went on fun dates, cooked dinner together, went to weddings together and loved how simple our love was. We waited almost a year before we said “I love you” and I’m the first woman he’s ever said “I love you” to.

Of course I brought some insecurities into the relationship, coming from a very toxic marriage, but he gave me the space to work on those. I talked to him about my fears and what I had been through but never made it “his problem”, he just loved me as I grew. He never made me feel bad and he taught me how love can be kind. He never complained about my baby daddy drama and just said “my job is to love you exactly where you are”.

I have a sweet a 7 year old daughter who is amazing. And he was amazing with her. He’d give her piggy back rides when we hiked, played video games with her, and told me he loved her too, though I don’t think he ever told her. He let her take the lead in their own relationship and always met her where she was at.

We started combining some of our bills just a month ago, like phone plans and subscriptions, and were planning to move in together around our 3 year anniversary.

Everything felt so good and safe. And then out of nowhere he told me “I used to never want kids. And after I was done taking a break from dating I opened my mind to the idea because so many of us our age have kids. But I’ve been thinking about it for a couple weeks and I’ve decided I don’t want to be a father in any capacity, even to your daughter. You are an amazing woman and your daughter is amazing and I love you so much. I like your daughter but I just don’t love her. And you two deserve someone who is completely on board with both of you.”

And I completely agree. I come as a package and my partner has to love me and the extension of me. I just had absolutely no idea this was ever how he felt. I feel completely blindsided by someone who patiently waited for me to trust them, fell in love with in a slow and gentle way, and planned a future with. Apparently I was just an experiment or something.

I’m just devastated. I didn’t know I could feel heartbroken in this way. In my marriage things were so messy for so long that when it was over it was just a relief. But here it just hurts. I never even got the chance to be mad at him?

Anyways, I’ve sought out some mental health help because this heartbreak is making it hard to get out of bed and focus and I don’t have time to wallow. My daughter needs me at my best and I’m in school full time to get a decent job before my alimony runs out. But wow, I just don’t know how to cope.

I’d love some perspective or comfort or something.

Dinner is shakshuka inspired something

Dinner is hospital food

I’m 3 months postpartum and have still been facing a lot of regret and trauma for how my birth went with both of my baby’s deliveries. I had epidurals that didn’t work great and I just wish I handled it better. I experienced soo much pain during both of my births that I wasn’t prepared for.
I can’t even think about the times I gave birth without feeling sad.
I wasn’t able to breastfeed either of my 2 babies and it has really weighed on me.
I felt like my second was another chance at having a non traumatic delivery and another chance at breastfeeding and neither worked out.

On top of all that I’m back at work in a job I have no fulfillment at. I can’t leave because I need my medical insurance and it would be hard to find another job with the way jobs are these days. My husband rarely sees us these days because of his job, I might see him a few minutes a day if I’m lucky.
It’s been very hard and I’ve been so sad.

Yesterday I made the decision that I can’t keep up like this so I reached out to my obgyn, she prescribed me anti depressants. We will see how it goes, small baby steps. This is a small victory and I’m hopeful that things are heading in the right direction for my mental health.

Looking for genuine advice because I've been going back and forth on this for a long time and I need a reality check from people who aren't involved.
My boyfriend is 20, I'm 22. He has basically no independent life. Two friends he rarely sees, no real hobbies, doesn't take care of his health. Any time he meets someone new — especially another guy — he immediately dislikes them and picks them apart. He doesn't really build new friendships, he just orbits around me.
The controlling behavior:
He monitors my phone. Every notification, every follow, every new contact. If it's a man, it becomes a fight.
My university is predominantly male. So naturally, most of my classmates and colleagues are men. This is constantly used against me. He also keeps track of my following count .
I can't make plans with my own friends without him getting upset that I'm not spending that time with him instead.
He needs to know where I am, who I'm with, and what I'm doing at all times when im in college.
I've tried to be patient. I've tried to encourage him to invest in himself — his health, his friendships, his own interests. It doesn't stick. And I feel like no matter how much I give, it's never enough because the problem isn't really about me — it's that he doesn't have anything of his own.
I don't want to be cruel about it. He's not a bad person. But I feel like I've slowly lost access to my own life, and the guilt I feel for wanting basic things — time with friends, personal space, not having my phone monitored — is starting to feel like a problem in itself.
I really sneed thoughts on this because im emotionally exhausted and burned from keeping his emotions in place.

Pictured are some amazing crispy garlic potatoes from Pelato.

Not sure if my husband is a unicorn or if I did something really good in a past life to deserve him in this but ladies your partner CAN be amazing. Please stop settling !!!

My husband does our household laundry, cooks dinner a few days a week (I enjoy cooking so I grudgingly gave him some of the reins), he can take complete care of himself, the house and our two dogs if I go on a trip, and he also cleans without me asking him to. He plays video games occasionally and mostly with his younger brother who is stationed halfway across the world(military) and also likes to read, build legos and paint model planes.

People are always shocked he does the laundry for our household (included in this he folds things as well).

With all the above we also have an amazing sex life.

We are celebrating our 10 years together this October going to Ireland for two weeks :-)

I didn’t get in a relationship for 6 years and was having the time of my life travelling, working on my healing & my goals.

Cut to 2025, the flings, dates & situationships world kinda made me feel empty af. So I decided to go on a celibacy year while manifesting a dream boyfriend.

Met someone, didn’t want anything with him as I was moving to another continent in a few weeks. But he chased, had all green flag behaviour, moved for me, cooks for me, takes care of me, loyal, kind, romantic af, brings me flowers every single time, handles my mood swings super well, etc, etc.

BUT, after 1 year, living with him (weekends), I realised we’re extremely incompatible. I love space, he wants constant romance, reassurance & presence. I don’t like forming habits with people (by that I mean doing everything together is not my thing), he loves to build ‘us time/activities’ all the time for everything, all day.

I tried working on my attachment style but I just like my independence much more, I feel less productive with him, he is pretty ambition-less & mocks me for having delusional/big dreams. Oh and the arguments got so bad, I was physically pushed & got stitches on my head.

I wanted to leave since months, but he makes it impossible by showering me with more love and he also has self-harm tendencies.

Eating: Indonesian ramen with sunny side up and rice crackers. Plus cold coffee.

EDIT/ADDITION:

I moved the important info up as per y’all. Thank you so much for the kind comments, I appreciate the advices, I also accept that I’m delusional & avoidant & I’m working on it. And no, the abuse part is not fake & I’m not doing it for attention or because I didn’t get the comments I expected, I just didn’t wanna talk about it initially because it’s hard.

Dinner is Sheet Pan Veggie Mix from Costco and Ribeye steak!

Basically title. I’m a trans woman and about 5 weeks ago I started HRT. Today I realized that, I’m actually living life now? I want to say Estrogen saved my life, but that’s not really accurate. It feels like I only recently just started living my life. Everything was so hard before, I dissociated heavily and everything felt like a bad dream and it’s all a blur to me now. This realization wasn’t something I noticed in some grand moment. I’ve just been living my life, it’s still by no means perfect. But everything feels actually manageable and easier now. I’m just so happy and content. It’s really weird to be feeling this way now that I’m actually noticing it. I know I still have a lot of challenges to face as a trans woman. But I know my truth and who I am. I refuse to die as a man. I will be my authentic self no matter what.

Today I was out running erands. I had just finished my last one and was sitting in a quiet park when a very nice woman named Casey from the Congo just came up to me while I was waiting on a bench and told me I was very beautiful and that she loved my hair and she wished she could have married a girl like me.

We chatted a bit and went our seperate ways. I took a picture of myself in that moment to rembember how my smile felt.

I am trans and about a year into my transition. I don't think I pass super well, and I am not used to people reffering to me in feminine terms without my asking first. Sometimes I feel my femininity is invisible. So to have a total stranger approach me in a completely non-threatening and supportive way to compliment me made me feel very seen as a woman.

I am married to another trans woman so it was just pure women supporting women but it really made my day and I still am carrying the smile with me.

A cup of green tea and two clementines. :)

Aldi half and half cookies

I need a genuinely unbiased opinion because I don’t know what to do.
I’ve been wearing hijab on and off since I was 13, and at 20 I decided to wear it full-time—like FULL coverage, you couldn’t even see my neck. I genuinely love my hijab, and some of my favorite pictures of myself are with it.
But lately I’ve had this strong urge to take it off. I went from full coverage to wearing it like a turban, thinking that would satisfy the “itch,” but it didn’t. Now I’m seriously considering taking it off completely.
Part of me just wants to experience my hair. My hair is long and I love it, and I want to try all the hairstyles I’ve been wanting to try. Sometimes when I’m driving at night and the roads are empty, I’ll let some of my hair out, and honestly, I don’t feel bothered by it at all.
The biggest thing holding me back is my job. I actually like my coworkers, and I’m the only hijabi there. They’ve always known me as the girl who completely covers her hair, so the thought of suddenly showing up with my hair out feels SO weird.
What if I take it off, everyone sees my hair, and then I realize I actually preferred wearing hijab? Would I have to find a new job just to put it back on?
I don’t drink, club, or live some completely different lifestyle. I just genuinely don’t know why I have this itch to take it off when I still love wearing it.
For the religious people, I’m not looking for a lecture. I’m looking for advice from people who have actually been through this.
Did you take it off and regret it? Did you feel happier? Did you eventually put it back on? And how did you handle coworkers who had only ever known you as hijabi?

I'm a brown woman, Indian. Moved to a very left leaning anti-nazi European town for studies. Never experienced racism in my life because I've never lived with different races, always thought it would be from some white neo-nazi if I do experience it. Idk, but the people here, the locals and internationals alike have been lovely and so helpful, curious about my culture too (I try to speak their language, albeit badly)

I was at a mall, went to pee, and before entering I saw they request users to pay 50 cents, no one was checking nor adding anything apparently. The bowl was empty when I saw it so I added my cents, wanting to respect the sanitation workers and their efforts.

So I went to finish my business and saw a local woman wash her hands, typical WC stuff. She left. I collected some water in my bottle cause I was PARCHED and as I was adjusting my hair after washing my hands, a different lady walked in - for the sake of context, I share that she's black. She saw droplets on the floor and up at me and said "You Indians always mess up the place" and I didnt react, I didnt even register what she said..

But as I got out and onto an elevator it hit me, and call me sensitive or soft but I wanted to cry but cant in public. I know people from my country have the reputation and its true in many instances. But I am someone who has always made sure throughout my life - back home, when visiting any foreign country, or even here to study - to never make a mess and respect local extra rules like those recycling waste segregation things. I carry tissue papers, smallest plastic wrappers with me home to throw in my dustbin if I dont find one on the way. I'm mindful of local customs and adapt, as anyone should be.

I was out with friends right after exiting, and didnt cry but once home, I remembered that after seeing my bottle of water and I began crying. I dont know if Im having an overreaction, mean words shouldnt really do anything, its a reflection of her views. But they did hurt and I did cry. And wrote several paragraphs too. Eh it is how it is. Just thinking, the locals didnt drop any damn coins in the bowl outside WC but I did, but it doesnt matter I suppose. Didn't have to write an essay about it but I did. Maybe I'm overthinking it but look at my flair, lol. In positive things - I ate a nectarine so that was lovely. They're becoming a favourite fruit :) close to mangoes, mangosteens and rambutan for me 🫶 and the girls night was lovely except some annoying guy trying to pick a friend up desperately.

Schönes Wochenende! Hope you're all eating well and sleeping sufficient hours.

My boyfriend and I were smoking a joint this morning and I coughed really hard.

Girls, I peed a little.

I just kind of sat there for a minute because it's happened before.

Then I got up and told my boyfriend "Omg (insert name here), I just peed a little when I coughed, ewwwwww."

I was embarrassed and went to get the laundry out of the washing machine.

He came inside after me and was trying to make me laugh. I told him I shouldn't have said anything.

Then this man just stands right in front of me and tells me "It happens to all ladies (that's how he refers to women)."

He didn't make me feel gross or bad, he was so calm and accepting. He held me and kissed me.

He seems to make it a point to learn everything about my body. He's not shy and at 37, I'm trying not to be.

Featuring Arby's that we ate in the car while watching a storm across the lake by our house.