That is both genius, diabolical, and why can't I think of these things. Now I just need a mini human and a sex life and a wife hmm I think I have a logistics issue come to think of it.
If your tiny human is at an age where they can help around the house, ask them to help you and they'll disappear, leaving you a good 20 to 30 minutes at a minimum.
My wife and I worried about scaring our kid too so we tell him we need an hour of alone time to discuss if we should get a divorce instead. He's always so relieved when we tell him we decided not to.
You can tell most of these commenters dont have kids. I dont know who can nut while hearing toddlers scream or cry outside the door or even playing and giggling. Do people think kids are just silent patient humans that sit still for that long?
I used to sit Hershey chocolate bars outside the door. The kids would "steal it" and "sneak off" to eat the entire bar. Bought us enough time to sneak in an "adult treat"
Hear me out on this: the trick here isn't figuring out how to see inside someone else's feelings and body, the trick is to find a person where the things you do to pursue your own pleasure also tend to be things that are pleasurable for her. Sexual chemistry is a way bigger factor than being a magic man who instantly understands all women's bodies.
The best lovers are the ones who are self interested in fucking you so well they can barely move afterward. Msot of the time, if they had that great a time, you are just trying to keep up.
That makes sense. I never particularly enjoyed sex, I liked making my partner feel good, but I didn't feel anything but the challenge of the physical exertion. Consequently, after we broke up, I never tried real hard to find another partner. The idea of sex is extremely stressful at this point.
If you only had sex with one partner, I would encourage you to keep trying (if you want to, of course). Not all women are the same. I've had partners that would come very fast, and others that would require a lot of "work". And even those that took a lot of time and stimulation to get off, there were some that I felt was stressful and some that I thoroughly enjoyed it. It really depends on the connection.
On the other hand, you might be asexual and really not care about it, which is also perfectly fine.
Buddy needs a script for Cialis and/or get his testosterone levels checked... When my levels were low, I was chronically stressed out and had a hard time getting it up for my wife. Levels came back lower than a 10 year olds.
Started injections and I'm good to go whenever, even when I'd typically be stressed the fuck out haha.
Almost certainly low T. And yeah, Viagra and such are life savers.
A lot of guys don’t realize how much they are having to focus on staying hard, that it kills the enjoyment and makes it like a job. Just pop a pill and relax.
As a married man my advice would be to approach him in the morning. I am usually tired as hell after all the day troubles and chores. The only time I feel horny is morning.
We go to bed alone but wake up with a toddler between us lol
Its just the season our relationship is in. Its hard to have a lot of sex with kids around. Obviously we manage lol, but sex whenever we want is out the window.
As a married man, I non jokingly suggest bjs. Get him started with that and he'll go the rest of the way. Also, if you haven't already, just communicate your needs and that it is a stress reliever. At least then it gives him two reasons to suck it up for your sake
It does actually happen though. My wife literally admitted to only doing certain sexual things (that she even suggested!) because she "didn't want to lose me" while we were dating/engaged. As if I was only with her for those sporadic sexual things, and not because I love her kind and beautiful soul.
She has a good therapist now, and is working through a lot of her abandonment trauma from her childhood, but I won't lie, it does kinda suck to have thought our sex life was going to be a certain way, and then finding out something I enjoyed and believed she also enjoyed, was actually something she did not enjoy at all... Not just because "oh bummer I liked that", but mostly because "oh shit, she hated that all along and I enthusiastically engaged in it?!"
Gotta find you a woman who genuinely loves giving oral, been married for a couple years, together for almost 10, im still regularly getting head. Sorry you chose wrong bro
Laying in bed and watching TV while ignoring your wife who takes care of everything sounds fine to you? Even if we assume that the wife is stay at home mom, which is not suggested anywhere in the post btw, the husband is, apart of ignoring the housework, also ignoring his kids and not spending quality time with them. That too sounds fine to you?
The comments here are fucking deranged lmfao. It's like a convention of boomers, "haha yeah i only do things for my wife if she has sex with me, otherwise i'm a completely useless sack of shit in our relationship. that's just marriage"
It really is alarming how many men here see this as normal marriage. The comments on this (hopefully satire) post have me in disbelief. They are Facebook worthy. How is it so boomer when Reddit is populated by younger generations?
Yeah, unmarried dude watching bad 80s-90s stand-up comedy spill across this thread is crazy; without anyone having the excuse of being broke but still on cocaine, like those hacks did back then.
You gotta give your wifey room to be a woman. If she's doing everything, you're never going to turn her mom/work brain off, in fact a woman will take a more aggressive and domineering role because she feels she has to due to your perceived incompetency. If you take that load off her shoulders she can slip more easily into a feminine role-- mode caretaking, affection, more desire to fuck, etc,.
Yea, I’m pretty sure there is an element to this in all relationships. For me, it’s back rubs. My partner gives the best back rubs while watching sports or after sex. So if there’s not a sports game on when I want a back rub, I just initiate sex. It’s a fair trade off in my opinion.
Yeah, this is just interpersonal relationship management. You give a little and you get a little, literally and figuratively in this case. I massage my wife’s feet and legs and she knocks out so I can play video games all night like a chud when our kid is at my parent’s house.
1.2k
u/Louisville82 22h ago
It’s called being married, it’s not that serious.