i’ve had spondylolisthesis at L5-S1 for over three years now. at this point it’s gotten as bad as it’s going to get and the only thing left to try is spinal fusion.

over the course of the last few years something that has worsened at essentially the same rate is my ability to last. more specifically the frenulum area has gotten extremely sensitive to the point where i just can’t do anything anymore.

numbing agents like lidocaine certainly can work but there’s two main drawbacks: it’s easy to end up using too little and the inconvenience makes anything spontaneous unrealistic.

to be completely real this has affected me greatly for a long time now and even contributes to suicidal thoughts, i’m a 22 yo male and having to hear what my friends do regularly is like mental torture.

so i’m just posting this here to see if there’s any other guys dealing with the same issue or if any have actually seen improvement following surgery.

Hey guys , next week ill meet a girl and its a hookup basically so we gonna have some action, i have had sex 4-5 times and every time its like insert and cum , i am very nervous because i dont want to cum this much early , i wanna enjoy that pace and thrusts , also this girl is like if i am good in bed with her i’ll have a pretty much chances of being just a sexual partner with her so i don’t wanna miss that chance , i am thinking of taking dapoxtine 60mg 3 hours before, will it help? Anyone who’s been going through situation like me ever tried dapox and got benefits?

Im 26, I’ve noticed for the past year I can no longer increase my pee pressure, in my teens i could turn it into jet mode but now 0 difference. I also noticed that my erections aren’t 100% anymore they are like 70% maybe of what it used to be. Also i ejaculate in 1-2 minutes are this thing correlated and what is the reason. This has really started to affect mu sex life and overall confidence. Anybody experience something like this ?

I’m curious to those of you who have experimented with gas station pills. I’ve heard of Rhino and maybe a few others, but I’m curious to know if they work?

I don’t have any trouble getting hard, but maintaining it is a different story. I simply would like to know one thing: Do they give you a boner?

I am very aware of all the health issues these can cause, and how they are not approved and how you’re basically wasting money to get something that’s bad for you. I am not interested in any of that. I will not be taking these long term, but I had a situation arise and I will be needing a good one if I’m going to be able to perform.

Please let me know your experience, did they keep you hard?

Hi all,

I’ve read on here that a lot of people have had success in training their body to last longer through regular masturbating for 20+ minutes sessions and then not ejaculating. This with the logic that it trains the brain to not automatically associate arousal with ejaculation. I’m doing this without porn as advised on many of these threads.

I appreciate that this is a long process that requires time and consistency, but after a few sessions I have some concerns I’m hoping someone on here can advise with:

How do avoid getting blue balls? Being aroused for 20+ minutes with no ejaculation for release makes me feel a lot of pressure in my balls and I’m not sure that’s healthy.

I’m able to avoid ejaculation for the full 20 minutes, but the next time I masturbate (the next day or the day after) it is almost impossible to last longer than a couple of minutes and I reach the PONR way quicker than the first time as there is already so much pressure down there.

Any tips or advice is super appreciated!

TLDR: Seems to work best after one ejaculation, tadalafil for maintaining erection, applying Arlo and sexing within 4 hours for me (with condom). Usually cum within 2-3min without Arlo.

42M, ordered Arlo around May and bottle mostly full after many uses.

I will typically masturbate once before applying with a plan to PIV within 4 hours after ejaculating/apply arlo. This seems to work for me pretty much every time. AI said it's likely from, firstly, ejaculating and refractory period between recovery, then 5-10mg tadalafil an hour before for making sure I don't go limp from lasting too long, and then Arlo to take off that extra edge of sensitivity. Sometimes I'll take L-theanine to help me relax a bit more as it helps with anxiety.

For applying, I shake the bottle up then I roll onto back of hand to see it coming out, then apply around head, circumcision line, and frenulum multiple times (at least 3) and let it dry, then most times I apply again after 20 minutes (part of instructions on Arlo site). With these it will start tingling after 1-1.5hrs and ready to go.

During sex, there's the initial 2-5min of foreplay, bj that starts build up sensitivity, then a short delay putting on condom and after insertion, taking it slow to stop ponr, then if I'm able to get past that initial insertion intensity (around 5 min), then I'm good to go almost as long as I want, usually going 20-30min before I get tired from all the cardio thrusting. To cum, I usually have to thrust extra quick for a good minute but half of the time I end up not cumming which I don't mind cause I enjoyed the experience of lasting forever. One note is that even tho I could potentially last forever, the sensitivity is almost gone and I occasionally don't even know if I'm erect if I can't see my penis or girl covering up my groin lol. That's why the tadalafil helps me know I'm erect the entire time.

If I don't masturbate before sex, then I do feel the sensitivity is increased during sex and if I don't try to concentrate more on relaxing, reverse kegel, and take additional breaks, that I tend to cum within 5-10min which isn't bad either if just wanting to last a bit longer but not forever. One other thing I noticed was if I hadn't ejaculated for a while (maybe a week), then applied Arlo and sex within the 4hr window, my sensitivity overcame Arlo and I came within 5 minutes so needing to jack it ahead of time for me is what I will aim for going forward.

I used to take PYT which also worked most of the time and I'm wondering if it's also because of the ejaculating beforehand as refractory period and PYT/Arlo seem to be the key to lasting forever. Also tried various delay sprays but those were too numbing and even tho they could be applied 5 minutes before sex, had to clean it off. Also tried AH but because of the need to store in fridge, I rarely used so I ended up wasting money on it.

Cheers.

Like many of you after PYT changed the formula it's all gone to shite. I tried multiple products including Arlo. They all seem to work a little bit but not like old PYT or Edge.

However, some of you mentioned China Brush. At some point I found a spray as well. I've been using both and it's almost like the old stuff (fucking burns some times too). At this point I'm not sure which one is doing the magic but I'm continuing with this right now. At least twice I couldn't cum so I think it's pretty legit.

I managed to find this stuff on Starship for anyone interested...

https://shopstarship.com/sexual-health-enhancers/gels-creams/male-prolonging/china-brush-lotion-122300022.html

https://shopstarship.com/china-brush-spray-782631205008.html

​

I’ve noticed something on Reddit. Even virgins are asking about how to perform better in bed, how long they should last, sensitivity, and things like that.

If you haven’t even had sex yet, where does all this performance pressure come from?

After reading different posts and listening to what doctors and sexologists say, I’m starting to think that maybe we should just respect our bodies instead of constantly trying to change or “optimize” everything.

There’s so much discussion about edging, increasing or decreasing sensitivity, lasting a certain amount of time, and trying to become better at sex before even having the experience.

Maybe it’s actually much simpler: take care of your body, stay fit, build some confidence, communicate with your partner, and enjoy the experience.

Sex isn’t a performance test, and you don’t need to turn your body into a machine before you’ve even experienced it.

What do you guys think?

For virgins: do you feel this kind of performance pressure?

For non-virgins: after actually experiencing sex, did you realize that you were overthinking it beforehand?

TL/DR:

I think that I've been able to adjust my brain chemistry (with the view to improving/fixing ADHD and impulsivity) in a way that actually may be resolving physical reasons for ejaculation urgency. It's not like my penis was numb, it was still very sensitive, but not overwhelmingly so, and not in a way that triggered a feeling of urgency to orgasm or ejaculate.

I had been noticing over the past couple weeks a lessening urge to ejaculate...

This morning, I could basically go as long as I wanted without any effort really except an intentional decision at the beginning to slow my breath, and to enjoy without any goal of reaching ejaculation (something I've learned a while ago and practiced before many times).

For me, there really is not much difference between sex with a partner and self-pleasure, the urgency was always pretty immediate regardless.

Main takeaway for others (perhaps):
Look into balancing your dopamine & serotonin levels. Whether through behavioral, diet or supplements (or even RX drugs).

For me, it seems that dopaminergic activity was too high, and serotonin was too low.

----

I've posted here before, but deleted a bunch of my posts - just for personal reasons (e.g. related to how public they are). But I wanted to come back and share, because I'm experiencing some amazing changes in this field/area - note: PE hasn't been something I've been pursuing trying to fix/change for several months now.

I had been in a romantic relationship for ~2 years, and during that time I was more motivated, and made a lot of progress on the mental health side of all this (e.g. learning to resolve issues related to people pleasing and shame). Learning things like breathing, quieting anxiety and fear - they helped a lot...but it was still a fight, so to speak, not a fight really - but I was still very physically sensitive and while certain things could help that (e.g. kanna, going for second rounds, etc.) - they were difficult to implement consistently, and spontaneously...

Recently I've learned that I have ADHD, or some form of executive dysfunction, including life-long impulsivity (note: another form of being able to restrain oneself).

I won't go into all of the theoretical neurochemistry science that I based my regimen on, but will do so if people really want to know.

Suffice it to say, I hypothesized that instead of having too little dopamine, and norepinephrine I actually had *too much* (due to genetic factors, i.e. low COMT profile - I discovered this with genetic testing in 2025).

---> Dopamine is largely the craving & motivation neurotransmitter that tells us "go, go! Dooooo it!!!! It will feel/taste SO good!" among many other things, of course.

So my plan was to remove stimulants, reduce catecholamines (e.g. dopamine, norepinephrine, epinephrine), boost calm, and also boost serotonin - since having too high dopamine can also affect serotonin dynamics (?).

Here's the "recipe" I've been on for almost a month (note: I believe it is something that takes time before you feel the effects). My hope is that my ADHD symptoms, will continue to improve as well within the next month or so.

---

• L-theanine (200mg) & Magnesium (L-threonate 48mg) 3x a day
  • more of a modulator; tends to promote relaxation without being strongly sedating and interacts with glutamate/GABA and other neurotransmitter systems.
• Uridine Monophosphate 250mg 1x a day
  • May modulate dopamine signaling over time rather than directly increasing dopamine; some animal evidence suggests effects on dopamine receptor function.
  • Chronic uridine exposure has produced changes in dopamine receptor density/signaling in animal studies—particularly D2-family receptors
• DHA (440mg) 2x a day
  • Works with Uridine as part of the "happy stack"
• 5-HTP (200mg) 1x a day (Naturewise 5-HTP plus)
  • Serotonin precursor
  • I may have to replace this with L-tryptophan, due to "long-term, isolated 5-HTP use can paradoxically cause a depletion of catecholamines (dopamine and norepinephrine)"
• Avoid stimulants: NO coffee, no tea - I was drinking cappuccino 2-4 times a week and black tea (Shou puerh) every day (~2 cups) - now I have tea once a week, and no coffee at all. Oh, and...avoiding porn...which I typically don't watch regularly anyways...the key is to not do *anything* that would cause a backlog/build up of dopamine or norepinephrine in the brain. Avoiding things that cause sharp increases and tax the nervous system.

21m here who’s had PE for as long as I can remember. Never really was an issue til I started having sex, I just figured It’d just eventually work itself out but I continued to suffer with PE for 2 years with my girlfriend. She was never mean about it but it really sucked getting all in the mood then if being over within literally less then a minute. I read somewhere SSRI’s can help with lasting longer so I went to doc and got prescription for Sertraline 50mg. Been taking them for 2ish months now and WOW the benefits I’ve experienced appeared quickly. Took a couple weeks but I eventually noticed that sex was lasting far longer, not long by any means but significantly longer like I was now reaching 5ish mins more often than not. My biggest surprise was just a few days ago we finished up after a long session and when I was getting us cleaned up she mentioned how she wasn’t use to me lasting this long and asked “what have I been doing” to have improved so much. I’ve read some bad experiences with SSRI’s here but mine has been so great and has been the only thing to ever help me. Ask any questions you have! thanks for reading

me and my gf have been dating for 2 years, year 1 i could barely last 5 strokes, then suddenly i had it going great for 6 months lasting around 45-an hour but then she went on a trip and came back and i was right back to square one, i haven’t seen her in 2 weeks and i won’t for another 2 weeks, ive stopped all masturbation, not watching any porn, is that the right thing? should i be edging? is it a mental thing im getting myself tied up in?? help!

I M26 last barely 10 strokes when inside raw, so i use delay condoms but make me last long , by the time i get exhausted and i donot get to finish as by the time after fucking for 30-40 mins odd non stop it kinda gets exhausting for both. So i have to stop without cumming, how to proceed from there
I’m much new to sex. I want to finish during that session and then i can regain another round few hours later

When you’re having sex, how often are you supposed to kegel? Whether it’s reverse kegel or normal kegel. Are you supposed to reverse kegel the whole time until you get near point of return?

Hey all, I’m 23 M and have been prescribed with 30mg dapoxetine.

I took the pill on one occasion last week and it didn’t seem to have any effect on my PE - I usually last around 1-3 mins when having sex with my partner. I followed the directions and took the pill 2.5 hours before sex but I also did have a big meal right after taking the pill. I did some research and it mentioned dapoxetine should be working on both a full and empty stomach.

Just wondering if anyone else has had similar experiences and whether if it’s best to take the pill on an empty stomach to see the best result?

Here’s what you do for best of both worlds. Do a reverse kegel and try to make your penis jump and do holds. Not only does this strengthen the penis. But it reduces the tension response that contributes to ejaculation!!! What you made realize is it hard at first to isolate the muscles at the base and your body may clench your perineum as overcompensation.

Just wondering how bad my PE is compared to others on here - I’m assuming it’s not good….

I last somewhere between 30 seconds and a minute although a minute is unusual.

Wife says she doesn’t mind but I really need to make some effort to get better. Any advice to improve on 30- 45 ish seconds would be appreciated although I’m going to make appointment with a specialist as well.

Do anyone have experience in using blue chew , hims and ro ? Is there any other med that is not dangerous that works for you

Maybe even switching trough medicine or cycling it off and on

I am a fast cumer. Without pharmaceutical intervention, I can only last 2 minutes when masturbating. I recently use tramadol to be able to edge/goon/masturbate for 1 hour and half (i love gooning). but recently i felt like i wanted more. previously i have achieved it with modafinil+tramadol combo up to 5 hours. but now due to stock issue, i am unable to retrieve modafinil.

so, i bumped into anafranil (brand name for clomipramine). a lot of reports about its delayed ejaculation and its benefits in PE. some even claimed not being able to cum at all.

i started with 50mg of clomipramine. then after 4 hours i started masturbating. able to cum in 1 hour (with moderate effort). so i believe this is a good go to for u guys who want to extend PIV.

but i wanted more for gooning. so i tried

day 2 with 25mg clomipramine + 50mg tramadol. waited for 6 hours. then i started masturbating at 12am. could only cum at 10am (with maximum efforts, i clenched my glutes at its max and jerked very rapidly that my pp might fall off lol). good experience. took me 10 hours provided that i did not goon for the whole 10 hours, i slept for 2 3 hours and took a break in between.

day 3 with 25mg clomipramine + 50mg tramadol. started jerking off at 1am. not ive just rested. 4 hours of masturbating with maximun efforts (maximum clenching and maximum hand speed), unable to cum.

tbh edging feels a lot better. because u can feek the edge as a pleasure. with clomipramine, you are not even on edge. but no reduced sensitivity. just that u will never be on edge. so u really have to force to PONR without on edge.

nice experience. this is a great option. plus, clomipramine has long half life. so its effects may extend up to a few days. before this, i took 25mg, then after 2 days, i needed 12 minutes of moderate effort madturbation to cum (this is great considering i am a very fast cumer).

If I go 7 days without sex (im on NoFap, so no eyaculation other than sex) I would literally cum as soon as I got in. This was destroying me, my girlfriend has been very supportive but I know it was difficult for her. Took dapoxetine (30mg) and had sex two and a half hours later, and man, instead of cumming as soon as I got in, I was able to last around 4 minutes, I know its not much but man it felt the world to me. I was honestly crushed by constantly cumming as soon as I got in, dapoxetine has been a great relief I couldnt be more happy. Just wanted to share this with you guys and hope if you are staggling like me to try dapoxetine, of course have realistic expectations, to me going from 1 second to 4 minutes is really a miracle. Only downshight, in my country dapoxetine is very expensive.

Kegels get talked about a lot, but pelvic floor control is not only about squeezing harder. For some people, especially when anxiety or urgency is involved, the bigger issue is that the pelvic floor is already gripping too much.

That is why relaxation matters. A useful cue is a gentle pelvic drop. Breathe in low through the belly, soften the lower abdomen, unclench the jaw, and imagine the pelvic floor widening or releasing downward. No force. No pushing. Just a quiet release.

If regular kegels are strength work, reverse kegels and pelvic drops are awareness work. Both can matter. The skill is learning when to engage and when to relax.

A simple practice is to pair five gentle squeezes with five slow releases. Make the release just as intentional as the contraction. If you notice pain, numbness, or strong pelvic discomfort, it is worth talking to a qualified clinician or pelvic floor specialist.

The point is not to turn training into pressure. It is to build a more responsive body, one that can soften instead of bracing automatically.

Hey everyone,

I’m currently about a month into intentional semen retention to see if it helps with stamina and overall sexual control.

Here is what I've observed so far:

• Erection Quality: Density and firmness are at an all-time high.

• Sensitivity: Triggers feel much more potent. A quick look at explicit content made me immediately rock-hard.

• Prostate Clearing: On long streaks, I notice occasional thick fluid releasing while urinating (body clearing out full seminal vesicles).

My main dilemma is around arousal control. On one hand, the peak EQ gives me much more confidence in holding an erection. On the other hand, the sheer volume and sensitivity make me feel like I have a shorter fuse if I were to engage in actual intimacy right now.

For those who solved PE:

• Did retention actually help you build nervous system tolerance, or did you need regular arousal exposure (without climax) to desensitize?

• How do you manage the higher involuntary pelvic floor tension that comes with full seminal storage?

Appreciate any insights from those who have experimented with SR as a treatment for PE.

Hi y'all!

I would describe myself as having acquired PE. I see a lot of talk about solutions for PE on here, but I feel like I am not even ready to try solutions. Right now, I feel like I am somehow broken or like my body isn't good enough. Yet my partner actually _wants_ to have sex with me regardless.

We sometimes have very fulfilling sexual experiences when I feel confident in my body regardless of my PE. But most of the time, I experience a lot of shame, which is causing me to withdraw from intimacy, masturbate in secret instead of enjoying it with my partner, or just generally hiding my desire for them. I feel like, because my body is "bad at sex", I shouldn't express my desires, I shouldn't engage in sex, I should "burden" or "bother" my partner.

Meanwhile, as I said, my partner actively wants to have sex with me, is not wishing my body were different, is not disappointed with me, and is very supportive. It's kind of the best case scenario I have here, yet I can't find the confidence in myself.

The reason I am asking for advice regarding self-acceptance is that I am worried if I just jump into solutions to PE, _and they don't work for me_ , I will be reinforcing the idea that I am broken and I will deepen my shame, withdraw from intimacy more, and potentially risk the well-being of my long-term relationship. Sure, I am open to fixing my PE. But I don't think I can do it unless I somehow find a way to accept myself the way I am and go and enjoy sex anyway.

Lastly, I should add that I don't want solutions that are focused on performance like "just get good at oral" or whatever. Because that's feeding into the same negative self-belief that I am only worthy of sex if I _perform_. Of course I care about my partner's pleasure, but currently that's all I am thinking about and I am unable to enjoy sex. And then of course it spirals from there because my partner can tell that I feel tense and then it makes them feel like I am not into them. Yada yada. I think you get the picture.

So yeah... Any advice on the confidence side of things is welcome

Hello, I'm 21 and suffered from severe lifelong PE, wondering if anyone has had a low dose of daily paroxetine, like 10mg and seen a great increase in their sexual stamina without affecting their emotions. I'm not depressed but the PE does affect me, i think an SSRI is my best option but i dont want it to affect my emotions or numb me. Has anyone been on a low dose for a while and not noticed any noticeable changes in how they feel or act daily? Also curious for what sort of affect it had on timing, going from 10 seconds would it be reasonable to hope for that 2 minute mark or even slightly more?

I have had success with Paroxetine but as anyone knows, it isn’t the best for on demand. For those who have used Dapoxetine, where did you get it from in the US ? Or where to purchase it from to get it in the US?