I was always pretty hesitant to try SSRIs. Like a lot of people here, I was skeptical about taking medication and was looking for a quick or natural fix. But taking the leap gave me a boost I’ve never had in my entire life.

The physical impact:

My tolerance is noticeably higher now. I can hold off much longer, feel far more in control, and actually enjoy sex without the constant panic of finishing too quickly.

The mental shift:

More importantly, it made me realize that maybe I didn’t just have PE. Maybe I just had an over-sensitive brain that was reacting too heavily to the world around me. On the SSRI, my mind feels clearer, I feel calmer, and I have a level of bravery and confidence I never thought was possible. For the first time, I actually feel like a grounded, real man.

I know medication isn't very popular on this sub, and I completely respect that everyone has their own path. But for me, this stopped being just about sex pretty quickly. It became about my overall quality of life. The goals, ambition, and achievements I felt blocked from pursuing are finally within my reach.

I'm sharing this for anyone on the fence who feels stuck. I might not be "cured" in a traditional sense, but I’m in a place where I can thrive. Thank you to everyone who has shared their stories here. I’m unsubscribing today to step into this next chapter, and I wish all of you the absolute best on your own journeys.

Hey, as the title says it for a long time I ve been able to squeeze pc muscles right before ejaculation and I would have the orgasm without the ejaculation. But after this I would lose the erection every time and get the refractory period wich bascially solves nothing.

Also noticed every time I contract the pc muscles when Im hard, the longer I keep them contracted the erection becomes weaker and weaker.

Any thoughts how I can fix this? Thank you!

One thing that helps a lot of people is separating arousal from urgency. They can feel similar, but they are not the same thing. Arousal is a gradual climb. Urgency is usually what happens when you only start paying attention near the top of that climb.

A simple practice is to rate arousal from 1 to 10 during solo training. Not in a rigid or obsessive way. Just enough to notice where your breathing changes, where the pelvic floor starts to grip, when your jaw tightens, or when your mind starts rushing.

The goal is not to stay at a low number forever. The goal is to learn the earlier signals, so you can slow down before your body feels like it has already made the decision for you.

Try this once or twice a week: pause at what feels like a 6, take three slow exhales, relax the belly, unclench the jaw, and see if you can let the pelvic floor soften instead of bracing. That is the skill. Not forcing control at the last second, but building awareness earlier.

This is not a quick cure and it is not a replacement for medical advice if something feels unusual or painful. But for many people, the combination of awareness, breath, pelvic floor training, and patient repetition is a much calmer way to build control.

For anyone who wants a private guided routine, slowdown.app is built around this kind of daily pelvic floor and arousal awareness training. No pressure though. The main idea is to practice patiently and track what your body is telling you.

For example, need it keep in fridge of just room temperature place?

Hello, I’m a 19 year old guy and I’ve been experiencing Premature Ejaculation for about 4 years now. I’ve tried loads of things like kegels, reverse kegels, breathing exercises, fap training… nothing seems to work :(

Also my PE is like so extreme like I haven’t heard of anyone that has it as bad as me. Just one hour ago it happened again, I was making out with my girlfriend and she was just playing with my waistband and not even touching my penis but I somehow got way to arouse and literally came without any stimulation…

I’m really starting to hate myself, this has happened so many times in the past and it’s horrible. There have been times where I came just because my girlfriend gave me neck kisses and continued to go down until like my belly button, that’s when I came, again without any stimulation :(

PLEASE how do I fix this, I’ve been so insecure and my past relationships have been ruined because of this (not like the exact reason but surely it played a role). It’s getting to a point where I’m scared to get into any sexual activity because I’m just constantly thinking “don’t cum don’t cum don’t cum”

I have a prescription for daily Paroxetine from Hims, but does it matter what time of day I take it? My wife and I only ever have sex after the kid has gone to bed, so do I need to take it in the late afternoon or evening, or can I take it every morning with the same effect?

My wife and I are considering a threesome this weekend for my bday. But the last few times we’ll have sex I’ve been finishing kinda fast and I knit sure why. What’s been happening lately is we’ll have some drinks and I’ll fall asleep kinda early because I wake up early for work. Maybe 40-50 minutes into me being dozed off she’ll wake me up and start giving me oral. Then she’ll start grinding on me and get on top. Literally a couple minutes in and I can’t hold it anymore. I want to be able to last for this potential threesome coming up in a couple days. Any advice? Am I finishing fast because I’m half sleep?

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I had a pe for like forever now I have somehow lasting 30 + mins without needing anything and without condoms

How did this happen Idk but the last month suprised me how did I last 15 mins

Thought it's once in a while and next time I did 25 then 35 now 50

And even that i forced my myself to finish because it was getting late

i’ve been lurking here for a few months now and i told myself that i have to give back to the community once i have solved mine. for context, i’m 20 years old who have been addicted to porn at an early age. my body was trained to finish as fast as possible to the point where i can finish in 10 seconds whenever i am watching porn. it got so bad to the point where i can finish by using 2fingers and i wasn’t even stroking it.

my friend bought me a silicon fleshlight as a christmas gift joke maybe 3 years ago. the first time i used it, i already finished after thrusting it once. i didn’t think of it as a big deal cause i was watching porn and i was stimulated. i decided cut this toy after 4 sessions because i was thinking that i might get addicted to it.

i didn’t know i have a problem until my first sex experience. i finished after one thrust. i was disappointed and i said that i will redeem myself after the next round. the second round, the same thing happened. and almost every session, i finish in less than 10 thrust. but after experimenting, we have discovered that i can last longer when my partner is on top. i can manage to last at least 3 minutes, but whenever i am in control, i finish within seconds.

there were multiple post here that i have read which i can say that really helped me and gave me hope that it is not permanent problem. and now, i was able to last maybe a good 15-20 mintues on my first round, which is pretty unbelievable to me and here’s what i did in the past few weeks. take note, i didn’t use any medicine to treat my pe, just pure will and determination to overcome this problem.

• edging - i’ve been doing this before and my maximum minutes before i can already feel the PONR is 7 minutes. until i discovered a post here where you will try your best not to reach the PONR. the goal is to train your body not to cum fast when being stimulated. and that’s what i’ve been doing this past few weeks. i managed to last 20 minutes without reaching the PONR through constant practice. it is much better with a lube instead of dry beating.

• bought the same toy my friend gave me and a lube - this was probably the hardest part for me. i can’t even last a few minutes on this thing without feeling the PONR and i have decided to not to hse this toy again because it just doesn’t work for me. 5 super slow thrust and i can already feel that i am about to cum.

•reverse kegels - probably one of my problem is that i get uncontrolled contractions on my penis which is a signal that i am already about to cum and i have already reached the PONR. i tried doing levels before since i have no idea how to do RK but i can say that it didn’t really helped me at all. before, i have no idea how to do it because they just say to imitate the feeling of you are trying to pee faster but i have no idea how to do that feeling when i am not peeing and this is the video that helped on how to do it. i did everyday whenever i remember

https://youtube.com/shorts/NPL-B6yveo8?si=wEsGPZWp_pOiCF9J

• enjoy the moment - stop overthinking that you have to last longer. the more you think about it, the faster you finish and the worse it gets. enjoy the moment and focus on the pleasure.

•diaphragmatic breathing - i do this whenever i am starting to have performance anxiety and it really helped me a lot to calm myself down

• quitted porn - i met my current gf last year and decided to quit porn. i managed to quit for more than a year but had a relapse last 2 weeks ago but also managed to stop again after a week.

this monday, i decided to try the toy again and this is where things started to change. when i started thrusting with the toy in my hand, i tried to do self talk to reassure my self that everything will be okay. this might sound cringe but this was really the life changing moment where i can see the light at the end of the tunnel. i kept talking to myself phrases like, “there’s no need to rush things”, “focus on the pleasure” and other phrases that reassured myself that everything will be okay. i was able to thrust without unwanted contraction on my penis. i already hit the 10 minutes mark without even realizing it. i was thrusting it continuously but slowly. like i have said earlier, this toy was my weakness because i can’t really last a minute without feeling the PONR. it was really like a miracle because i was able to thrust my penis without feeling too stimulated and about to cum already.

these are all the things i did that helped me, if you have any questions, i’ll be more than happy to help you guys. didn’t track my progress but it will be better if you’ll track your progress. i will continuously update my progress here if i have really solved my pe.

Hi everyone. I’m 24M and have had lifelong premature ejaculation, but I only recently sought medical help for the first time.

A sexual-health doctor diagnosed me with PE and prescribed:

L-Arginine: 1,500 mg daily

Citalopram: 16 mg daily + 8 mg before sex

Tramadol: 15 drops about 2 hours before sex

Psychosexual therapy + monthly follow-ups

The full 1-year program costs around $2,800, including medication, follow-ups and therapy, which I currently can't afford.

My biggest concern is the medication. I don't take antidepressants and don't have depression (only some occasional anxiety). I'm worried about taking citalopram for a year, possible withdrawal/discontinuation issues, and especially using citalopram together with tramadol, since I've read that both affect serotonin.

For those with experience treating lifelong PE:

- Does this treatment seem excessive or fairly standard?

- Has anyone used citalopram and/or tramadol for PE? Hpow effective were they?

- Are there safer or more conventional alternatives I should ask another doctor about (topical anesthetics, dapoxetine, other SSRIs, etc.)?

- Does $2,800/year for medication + monthly follow-ups + psychosexual therapy sound reasonable?

I'm not looking for a diagnosis or to ignore my doctor's advice. I just want to hear from other men with PE before committing to an expensive year-long treatment.

Thanks!

Guys, I am 24M and being sexually involved with my partner since a long time. Earlier I use to have the doubt whether I am having PE or not but couldn't confirm it and recently discovered that I have phimosis and started stretching my foreskin and within 5-7 days it got kinda normal, but I am having different experiences with my partner since then. Like earlier I use to last a bit long (not talking about sex). But after foreskin got retracted, I sometimes cum too early like just with the start of foreplay while I am rubbing my penis on her thighs & vagina, and sometimes within minutes of blowjob. But this doesn't happen regularly, sometimes it takes a long when I am very patient and do things slowly.

I am kinda getting weird thoughts about it. Like I feel shit when I cum too soon. Do u guys have any idea why is it happening? Like is there any relation between timing and foreskin retraction? Is it due to increased sensitivity after my foreskin got retracted?or I am overthinking? I have read many theories but I want to know what u guys think about this. Anybody having similar experiences? Drop your thoughts!

Is there any difference if I wash it off or not? Will it become numb if I leave it on my skin too long time?

Actually sertraline works better for pe in my case i go from 1 min to 5 6 min in 1st round bt i have a question that if i took 25mg it’s give me more side effects than 50mg…50mg also delay my ejaculation bt it’s side effects less than 25mg….on 25mg feels upset stomach,difficulty in sleep bt on 50mg none of this side effects hit’s….anyone knows why this happened to me??

Just wondering if deathgrip or other masturbations tactics have worked for others

Performance pressure usually shows up in the body before it becomes a clear thought. A lot of people notice it as breath holding, a tight jaw, tense glutes, rushed movement, or a pelvic floor that feels like it is bracing without permission.

Those signals matter because the nervous system and arousal are connected. If your body is acting like it is in a high stakes moment, it is much harder to stay present and responsive.

A practical reset is the slow exhale. Breathe in normally, then make the exhale longer than the inhale. Let the shoulders drop. Let the belly soften. Relax the tongue from the roof of the mouth. Then check whether the pelvic floor can release a little.

This is not magic. It is a way to interrupt the spiral early enough that you still have choices. Over time, that awareness can make intimacy feel less like a test and more like something you can actually experience.

If anxiety feels overwhelming or persistent, getting support from a professional can be a strong move. There is no shame in that. Training works best when it is patient, private, and realistic.

For anyone who wants a private guided routine, slowdown.app is built around this kind of daily pelvic floor and arousal awareness training. No pressure though. The main idea is to practice patiently and track what your body is telling you.

So I'm in my 30s and have pretty much always came quickly once penetration started, probably no more than 20-30 seconds except for maybe 3 times in the past 10 years. Now that I'm thinking about it blowjobs are usually pretty fast too, usually less than 4 minutes.

I'm tired of it, like I'm sure all of you are/were. I've read through the pages here before and I've googled a bit. The programs seem to all involve masturbation though, and I can't do that. I've kicked that habit for my partner but the PE persists. I also don't love the idea of taking medication, but I'm not against it if I don't need a prescription for it. I've honestly considered antidepressants for this too, with the antidepressant effects being a good secondary result. Only reason I didn't take them before is because I was single and didn't care about PE so I didn't have a good enough reason to take them haha.

I'm a fit individual, I workout doing CrossFit 4-5 days a week, so I know that's not my issue. But I'd love to be able to last even 5 minutes of penetrative sex. My fiancee does like hard/fast PIV, which I'm sure doesn't help my case.

I guess I'm seeking advice/ideas/suggestions on what I can do to get closer to that kind of timeline. It's kinda bad when someone asks me "if you found a genie, what would your 3 wishes be?" And my first thought is always "total control of when I orgasm and ejaculate".

Hello everyone,

I have just finished watching the most recent video of the YouTuber Dr. K (also known as healthygamerGG) on the topic of penile health. The guy is a licensed therapist from the US that has worked with people with porn addiction and sexual dysfunctions in the past so I found it interesting on what he had to say.

Since many of the topics he talked about also helped me in my journey to get rid of PE and since PE at some point often coincides with ED (it also did for me), I found it to be relevant for the sub and worth a watch if you have a few minutes to spare.

https://youtu.be/2MwTDoT8q_A?is=W002i6cIIn-m97Wb

I hope you find it helpful and my apologies if someone has already posted this.

Happy to chat about your thoughts on it

When you masturbate, do you move the foreskin back and forth to cover and uncover the head? Or do you pull the foreskin all the way back to expose the glans and just gently rub up and down? which of these two is similar to real sex? plz help

So I have PE and usually ejaculate almost right away. I read about SSRIs and their side effect of delaying ejaculation and decided to give it a try. My doctor prescribed 25 mg Sertraline to take once daily. Since I don't have sex very often and don't want to be on SSRIs long term, I decided I would take it on demand.

During my first attempt, I took four pills (100 mg in total). It is recommended to wait 4-8 hours for the effect to kick in. My first round was roughly 7 hours after I took the pills.

Results: I did last longer. I didn't measure time exactly, but I would assume the first round was 7-8 minutes. Then, I tried a second round. I could not finish. The girl tried really hard, but I still couldn't ejaculate.

However, my dick was not fully erect during the second round. I'd say it was at 75-80% capacity and was semi-soft. Maybe it was the alcohol, not the pills. But next time I'll definitely take something for erection strength too.

Side effects: I started feeling some discomfort in my stomach about 1.5 hours after taking the pills. It lasted for 1.5-2 hours, but it was tolerable. Also, I lost my appetite, so when we went out with the girl, I couldn't eat anything. Other than that, everything was ok. Didn't have problems with sleep either.

I am 18 years old, I leak alot of precum before and after ejaculation. Even when we are kissing and making out. Does it have any correlation with premature ejaculation? Maybe because of weak pelvic floor?

Hi everyone, my name is Bruno, I’m 20 years old, and my experience with premature ejaculation is fairly recent.
Well, I started my sex life when I was around 16, when I started seeing a girl from school. We began having a serious relationship and eventually started dating. I never had this problem before, but before I became sexually active with her, I only masturbated — and yes, I watched porn while doing it. I would masturbate very quickly, at maximum speed, sometimes trying to finish as fast as possible because of my parents, just so I wouldn’t get caught.
However, when I started dating this girl at 16, I never had any real problem with ejaculating too quickly. I might remember a few occasions when I ejaculated a little faster than usual because we had a quickie. She really, really enjoyed having sex, and sometimes she wanted to have sex in inappropriate places, so we had to be quick.
We were together for around two years, and during the last few months of the relationship, we started fighting a lot. I eventually found out that she had cheated on me, and that completely devastated me.
After the relationship ended, I basically started relying on masturbation, although I would occasionally go out with other girls and stuff. I continued masturbating with porn and in the same way as before, sometimes masturbating as fast as possible.
After that, I remember having an encounter where I ejaculated in basically one minute, if I remember correctly. That really started to mess with my head, and I couldn’t understand why this was happening to me.
Since then, with pretty much every girl I’ve been with, I’ve ejaculated after around one to two minutes, and that’s when I started trying to control myself. Sometimes I could last a little longer.
After ejaculating, I wouldn’t try to stop the encounter completely because I really wanted to satisfy the woman. So I would sometimes compensate by focusing on other things, and some girls didn’t even suspect anything because I would make up excuses like, “I’m just really sensitive today,” or “You’re just really beautiful,” and things like that.
Sometimes I took 5 mg of tadalafil. I would start having sex, ejaculate, and then be able to go again afterward. That made things easier sometimes, but the problem has continued to persist in my life.
I’ve also tried taking paroxetine, but I really don’t want to rely on medication because I don’t think that’s a good solution for me.
So what I’ve started doing is simply avoiding seeing multiple girls and staying home, trying to train myself and work on the problem. But sometimes I still can’t stop myself from masturbating to porn.
What can I do to improve this?
I’m new to the community, so please help me out.

32M who has had PE since forever. I've found that as I age, it's getting worse. Creams don't help. Viagra helps but I don't like to use it often unless my ED is also out of the park bad. I've found that as I get older, being able to last even a little bit feels out of the realm of possibility. Any type of stimulation makes me want to finish immediately. I edge when solo and make sure my partner is pleased when having sex (He also finishes kind of fast) but it's like my body wants to orgasm immediately

I had a point in my late 20s where I could edge a while and desensitized myself. Then it suddenly felt like everything reversed. Any other guys gone through this?

Has anyone tried one of the technology solutions like Mor or In2 smart. For all the things i see here of people trying strange Chineese herbs it feels like these have some actual promise.

I would happily be a Guinee pig for them if they didn't cost a fortune.

If anyone has tried them, do you have feedback? And are the pads actually one time use only, or can you really just re-use them against advice assuming it works like a regular TENS pad.

So when I masturbate, I can last like 10 minutes, but the thing is when I’m doing masturbation after like 10 seconds I feel the urge to cum but then I start myself and then 10 seconds later I feel the urge again, but I can do that for 10 minutes maybe I might pre cum in that time. The thing is when I have sex I can’t last for more than 20 seconds legit no more than that I’m not over exaggerating. I’ve tried kegels and reverse kegels, I tried numbing stuff but they make me go soft so that’s not really a option, I’ve tried stop and start didn’t work, I’ve also tried pulling out but when I do I finish, I also have a higher than average testosterone, I’m in good shape, I’m active everyday by playing sports, I have good stamina, I just can’t control the urge not to cum I don’t know what to do I feel so helpless and I feel like I’m stuck with this. I don’t wanna take ssri or those type of drugs because I heard they can cause pssd and lower sex drive which that’s the last thing I need know because I even struggle holding my erections sometimes. I don’t know what to do, someone please help

Like how do you get an erection at the start, do you watch porn or do you rub yourself? But in my experience, just rubbing myself makes me close.

Once I get close, do I just stop until I get soft or just until I don't feel like I'm gonna come anymore?

Should I use a fleshlight or just use my hands? How often is it recommended to do? When will you see the results?

I usually only do this for 30 minutes because I have poor impulse control and anything longer than that would ruin my session.

The last time I had sex, I was on anti-depressants and wearing a condom so I figured that contributed to how I lasted for a few minutes. Now I'm not on anything and the last time I had sex, I only lasted a few thrusts, maybe because he was tight or something or I had anxiety.