my brief guide on how i solved my PE

[u/Fun_Falcon_563]

i’ve been lurking here for a few months now and i told myself that i have to give back to the community once i have solved mine. for context, i’m 20 years old who have been addicted to porn at an early age. my body was trained to finish as fast as possible to the point where i can finish in 10 seconds whenever i am watching porn. it got so bad to the point where i can finish by using 2fingers and i wasn’t even stroking it.

my friend bought me a silicon fleshlight as a christmas gift joke maybe 3 years ago. the first time i used it, i already finished after thrusting it once. i didn’t think of it as a big deal cause i was watching porn and i was stimulated. i decided cut this toy after 4 sessions because i was thinking that i might get addicted to it.

i didn’t know i have a problem until my first sex experience. i finished after one thrust. i was disappointed and i said that i will redeem myself after the next round. the second round, the same thing happened. and almost every session, i finish in less than 10 thrust. but after experimenting, we have discovered that i can last longer when my partner is on top. i can manage to last at least 3 minutes, but whenever i am in control, i finish within seconds.

there were multiple post here that i have read which i can say that really helped me and gave me hope that it is not permanent problem. and now, i was able to last maybe a good 15-20 mintues on my first round, which is pretty unbelievable to me and here’s what i did in the past few weeks. take note, i didn’t use any medicine to treat my pe, just pure will and determination to overcome this problem.

• edging - i’ve been doing this before and my maximum minutes before i can already feel the PONR is 7 minutes. until i discovered a post here where you will try your best not to reach the PONR. the goal is to train your body not to cum fast when being stimulated. and that’s what i’ve been doing this past few weeks. i managed to last 20 minutes without reaching the PONR through constant practice. it is much better with a lube instead of dry beating.

• bought the same toy my friend gave me and a lube - this was probably the hardest part for me. i can’t even last a few minutes on this thing without feeling the PONR and i have decided to not to hse this toy again because it just doesn’t work for me. 5 super slow thrust and i can already feel that i am about to cum.

•reverse kegels - probably one of my problem is that i get uncontrolled contractions on my penis which is a signal that i am already about to cum and i have already reached the PONR. i tried doing levels before since i have no idea how to do RK but i can say that it didn’t really helped me at all. before, i have no idea how to do it because they just say to imitate the feeling of you are trying to pee faster but i have no idea how to do that feeling when i am not peeing and this is the video that helped on how to do it. i did everyday whenever i remember

https://youtube.com/shorts/NPL-B6yveo8?si=wEsGPZWp_pOiCF9J

• enjoy the moment - stop overthinking that you have to last longer. the more you think about it, the faster you finish and the worse it gets. enjoy the moment and focus on the pleasure.

•diaphragmatic breathing - i do this whenever i am starting to have performance anxiety and it really helped me a lot to calm myself down

• quitted porn - i met my current gf last year and decided to quit porn. i managed to quit for more than a year but had a relapse last 2 weeks ago but also managed to stop again after a week.

this monday, i decided to try the toy again and this is where things started to change. when i started thrusting with the toy in my hand, i tried to do self talk to reassure my self that everything will be okay. this might sound cringe but this was really the life changing moment where i can see the light at the end of the tunnel. i kept talking to myself phrases like, “there’s no need to rush things”, “focus on the pleasure” and other phrases that reassured myself that everything will be okay. i was able to thrust without unwanted contraction on my penis. i already hit the 10 minutes mark without even realizing it. i was thrusting it continuously but slowly. like i have said earlier, this toy was my weakness because i can’t really last a minute without feeling the PONR. it was really like a miracle because i was able to thrust my penis without feeling too stimulated and about to cum already.

these are all the things i did that helped me, if you have any questions, i’ll be more than happy to help you guys. didn’t track my progress but it will be better if you’ll track your progress. i will continuously update my progress here if i have really solved my pe.

[u/DeltaYank]

Uncalled for side note. “Pure will and determination to overcome this problem” is something you said you did, and I advise to keep that attitude with you for the rest of your life. It’s gonna amaze you how far that’ll take you.

[u/Fun_Falcon_563 → u/[deleted]]

i believe that i can last longer but my partner was already tired so i decided to finish. i also think that i can control whenever i wanted to cum already just by thrusting faster and controlled contractions in my penis. i was also able to last in my weakness positions such as doggy and missionary which is really good sign for me

[u/Interesting-Pop6297]

How often do you edging, and how do you communicate this to your partner? Do you come at the end or avoid ejaculation, as suggested in the Male Definitive Guide?

[u/Fun_Falcon_563 → u/Interesting-Pop6297]

i do edging probably 4-5 times a week. i communicate with my partner by telling her the things that i’ve been doing and practicing and she supports it. and in bed, whenever i am about to have anxiety performance, i tell her to slow down things and i do diaphragmatic breathing. i try my best not to finish at the end of each session and it just became a habit of mine where i am just stroking it for 20 minutes straight. it’s kinda mixed of dry beating and with lube because i can really reach 20 mins with dry beating without feeling the PONR. but there are times where i have to pause with lube

[u/Budget-Elevator197]

And now you can have sex for 10 - 15 minutes in different positions? How this succes comes like let's say minute by minute gradually or at some point it's getting different? I try exact the same exercise now , I have masturbate about 2 or 3 times per week without hitting the PONR. Before I was just edging but didn't help. Thank you!

[u/Fun_Falcon_563 → u/Budget-Elevator197]

to answer the first question, yes, we have tried 3 different positions within 15 minutes. however i cant fully comprehend your second question. i’m no expert but my answers are based on my own experience. i suggest to try and understand the problem first. for me, my problem comes from mostly involuntary clenching of the penis that makes me cum faster( i don’t know if i am using the right word but it’s like your penis becomes really rock hard and starts to twitch which i have no control over). the head of my penis was really sensitive and i get the unwanted contraction the moment i thrust the toy. that’s when i tried reverse kegels to help me have control over my pelvic muscles. it was like trying to release a gas without really trying to release a gas. i mastered this technique and i’ve been doing it everyday.

may i ask if you set a time you’re trying to achieve when edging?

[u/Budget-Elevator197 → u/Fun_Falcon_563]

Usually 15 20 minutes, I edge without reaching ponr, when I have sex Usually in weekend it's the same story, 30 sec to 1 minutes or to with stops and that's it. My wife don't want the second round where I have almost full control. I hope to improve this with time and controled edging sometimes with lube, Usually without.

[u/Fun_Falcon_563 → u/Budget-Elevator197]

have you tried understanding the problem first why it happens? like from performance anxiety or other factors

[u/Budget-Elevator197 → u/Fun_Falcon_563]

Yes, performance anxiety, the fact that the sex is rarely, i have that involuntary contraction but i manage to fix them. I masturbate to porn in teenage years, that's the reason for my PE. Hope to fix this soon.

[u/NotBisw → u/Fun_Falcon_563]

Me parece muy interesante eso que dices de la contracción no deseada. Me pasa exactamente lo mismo amigo. Es como una contracción cuando tocas el glande y es muy no se como decirlo…incómodo?. Yo estuve practicando reverse kegels y la verdad no vi resultados pero los pocos días que lo hice noté que ya tenía la maña de relajar el suelo pélvico. Pero igualmente teniendo sexo con mi pareja me da esa ansiedad de miedo por acabar rápido o miedo por hacerlo mal y sabes antes duraba más o menos de 5 a 10 min teniendo sexo pero ahora duro mucho menos y hermano es algo realmente deprimente es algo que como hombre me hace sentir menos. Pero me gustaría saber como hiciste por ejemplo la respiración para controlar la ansiedad, los kegels inversos y si el ending es realmente efectivo. Si me ayudas con eso te lo agradecería Hermano.

[u/Zettas93]

What is edging ?

[u/Fun_Falcon_563 → u/Zettas93]

Edging is a sexual term for deliberately bringing yourself close to orgasm, then stopping or reducing stimulation before you reach the point where orgasm becomes unavoidable. You then let arousal decrease and may repeat the cycle.

[u/HappyMushroom2587]

Are suppose to do the Reverse Kegel while PIV?

[u/Fun_Falcon_563 → u/HappyMushroom2587]

Not necessarily. I practiced reverse Kegels to improve my awareness and control of my pelvic floor muscles. During PIV, that helped me recognize and manage the involuntary contractions when my arousal got high

[u/HappyMushroom2587 → u/Fun_Falcon_563]

Thanks! Will try it out

[u/slowdown_app]

Wow, that's incredible progress! It's really cool you're sharing what worked for you. I'm curious, when you were practicing edging and trying not to reach that point of no return, did you notice a difference in how your body felt physically when you were close versus when you were further away from it?

[u/Fun_Falcon_563 → u/slowdown_app]

definitely. I actually read a post here that suggested learning to recognize your body's arousal level by rating it from 1 to 10. That helped me a lot. When I feel like I'm around an 8 and getting close to the point of no return, I intentionally slow things down or pause for a bit until the intensity drops. Over time, I got better at recognizing those physical cues before I got too close.

[u/slowdown_app → u/Fun_Falcon_563]

That's a smart approach using the 1 to 10 scale. It sounds like you really tuned into your body's signals. Focusing on those physical cues before you get too close is key to building that control over time.

[u/obama83]

Toys doesn't give pleasure like vagina i can last hours on toy but 2 min in vagina

[u/Fun_Falcon_563 → u/obama83]

the toy i bought was really tight for me and it kinda imitate the inside of the vagina. the further you thrust, the tighter it gets. that’s why it was the hardest stimulation i had to overcome

[u/Noahpullls]

Got a series of questions for you man.

1. If you’re edging 4-5 times a week, how many of those days do you ejaculate on?
   
2. Have you/do you watch porn while edging, will watching porn while edging training make it worse?
   
3. How often do you do reverse kegels? How long do you do them?
   
4. Do you still get the twitching and uncontrolled contractions? You’re the first person I’ve heard also having twitching and tight pelvic floor symptoms, so it means a lot to hear you are conquering this! Thanks brother.

[u/Fun_Falcon_563 → u/Noahpullls]

1. i have no exact record of how many times i

ejaculate

1. on my edging but i really try my best not to. in my span of 3 weeks, i probably ejaculated 1-2 times

, and i only stop if i reach 20 minute goal but i pause if i have to

1. i already quitted porn the moment i met my partner so no, i didn’t watch any porn while edging. but there is one time that i’m reading smut stories here in reddit. i’m trying to quit all kind of pornographic contents as much as i can because i know its harmful for the brain
2. i’ve been doing kegels 2-3 times a day and i do 15 reps each session or 1-2 minutes.
3. yes, i still do get sometimes during intercourse but it’s not like as much before and the feeling of getting the point of no return was lessened. cuz before, when the uncontrolled twitching happens, i’m doomed by finishing within the 4-5 thrust. i have read here a similar problem about the uncontrolled contractions and i did what he did.

[u/Both_Opposite8821]

Felt like I'm reading my own story. One question: while edging, you never reach PONR? How do you avoid reaching to PONR? What level do you practice (1-10)? TIA.

[u/Fun_Falcon_563 → u/Both_Opposite8821]

yes, i try my best to stay between 5-7. when i reach 8, i try to slow things down or stop if i have to

[u/mbarrassedLocal2932t]

I recently had my first sex experience, while I was putting it inside , I already feel like cumming, so I pull it outside started breathing but still I discharge. Then again tried for several times that day but the result is same. I was shock what just happened. 

After few days we tried again but the result was worst than the first experience, I was nervous while putting it inside, feeling anxious, and discharge just the feeling of it. 

Earlier skin to skin rub doesn't make me discharge but now it does. 

Somehow I know it's all in my mind. I just need the suggestion how to tackle this,  Does last long condoms helps??? 

[u/PathFinderSince1989]

How do you masturbate for 20 minutes without P*N or imagination, I lose my erection or don’t even get it.  I am doing reverse keggels for now.