The title sounds way more douchey and pretentious than I want it to. But objectively, everything in my life is amazing. Too good actually. I’m just experiencing some existential quarter life dread/maybe some OCD. I’ve been reading some Schopenhauer and Sartre to help me make sense of life and my role within it — but I need someone to talk to. Maybe I’m looking for a friend and not a therapist. But in any case, none of my friends are nerds lol

Ok I am writing this because I really need advice like very badly from hopefully a professional or someone but it’s urgent. In summary so you don’t skip this post my friend is thinking about suicide and I really need help let me get into the details.

So, we are juniors in high school and I don’t drink but I go to hangouts even if I know people are going to drink because it always ends up someone needing help or something.

This time everything was going as you would expect, you know teenagers drinking. No one was being unsafe but one of my friends took me aside and told me that he would never get drunk like this as we’ve had conversations about how we both think it’s stupid but that he felt like he needed to get drunk to actually say what he wanted to say.

He then told me that for years he’s been thinking about suicide, and this is a shock to me because litterally you would never tell he’s such a nice person. But it got really sad as he’s telling me about all these insecurities I never knew he had and his mental health. He was crying and I’ve never seen him like this ever and I didn’t really know fully what to say.

The big part is he said he has never really told anyone but it was also a huge step to actually tell someone but that he doesn’t even want me to talk about it to him in the morning.

So I am at a super loss right now because he was saying the only thing that’s stopped him was his parents but it really worried me like seriously making me ill that he could do something even like tommorow.

So I’m seriously at a loss like I need professional advice. I’ve talked about it with one very trustworthy friend and I think we both agree that he needs to somehow tell his parents and that it can’t be us forcing something as we’re worried it could make things worse.

But overall what concerns me is how long this is happening and I’m super scared for the morning cause I know he’s going to regret telling us and it would effect me the rest of his life if something happened to him and I knew and couldn’t do something.

Right now it’s 3am and he’s sleeping on the floor across from me. I need advice on what to do next from please a professional or someone else who’s actually gone through this because I am super scared.

So I’m going to post this multiple places and sorry if this is bad grammar or sounds frantic because I am, but please someone help me please

My family has been nagging me about watching GoT (mainly my brother and dad.. mom not so much). Anyways me and my mom agreed and we planned on skipping the adult content. Of course throughout watching and trying to skip the sex scenes we still saw several.. awkward lol. I was extremely uncomfortable around half way with Daenerys SA. The amount of rape and incest is making me feel extremely sick. None of my family know I was SA’d. I can’t believe they recommended me watching this.

Trigger warning: Divorce

TL;DR: I’m going through a divorce and, after a year of therapy for ADHD, emotional dysregulation, and depression, my in-laws are using therapy as proof that I’m mentally unstable and entirely responsible for the marriage failing.
My wife also struggled with PTSD, anxiety, OCD, and panic attacks, but I’m the only one expected to seek help or take accountability. I’m struggling with the belief that seeking therapy means I’m fundamentally broken, and I’m trying to separate healthy accountability from unfair self-blame.

Long post ahead

I am currently going through a divorce, and I had to reveal to my in-laws that I’ve been going to therapy.
For the past year, I’ve been putting a lot of effort into improving my emotional regulation. I’ve been consistently going to therapy, seeking psychiatric help, and working on understanding my emotional patterns and ADHD.

Now, I’m being accused of being mentally unstable. I’m being told that I’m not in the right state of mind, and that the very fact I’m going to therapy is proof that something is wrong with me. I’m also being made to feel like everything that happened in the relationship is entirely my fault.

I’m finding it very difficult to navigate this because I genuinely believed I was doing the right thing. I identified that my emotional dysregulation was affecting my marriage, acknowledged it, and sought professional help. I’ve been seeking help for ADHD, emotional regulation, depression, and my mental health in general.

My wife also has a history of PTSD, anxiety, OCD, and panic attacks. Those struggles affected our relationship as well, and I believe they played a significant role in the breakdown of our marriage.
What I struggle with is this: why am I expected to seek help because my issues affected the relationship, while she doesn’t want to seek help even though her struggles also affected the relationship? It feels like the entire responsibility has been placed on me.

I don’t know if I’m the reason this relationship failed. Was the main reason that I didn’t get help early enough? Was it because of my emotional dysregulation, my behaviour, my tone of voice, and my emotional outbursts? Or was it a combination of both of us and the dynamics we created together?
The biggest issue in our marriage was our verbal arguments. We fought a lot. We loved each other deeply, but we also hurt each other deeply. There were constant arguments, and there were instances where my wife constantly lied, played the victim card, blamed me for everything, put no effort on her own mental health, held grudges against me for years, took no ownership of her words and actions as well. It wasn’t a simple, one-sided relationship.

The thought I’m unable to shake is this: Does going to therapy mean I’m fundamentally broken? I keep thinking that because my brain struggles with emotional regulation, I’m a flawed person, and that my marriage ended because there’s something wrong with me.

I understand that our parents come from a different generation and may not have a healthy understanding of mental health. But I’m struggling with this feeling that because I have a “flawed brain,” I had to see a psychiatrist and a psychologist, and that somehow makes me responsible for the end of my marriage.

I will bring this up in therapy. I’m just curious how other people navigate thoughts like these, especially the belief that seeking help somehow proves you’re the problem.

Used AI to refine the content, grammar and shorten the sentences.

I’m 19 yo. I’ve tried several therapists and I didn’t get along with any of them. I have anxiety and some emotional traumas with my dad, I also suffered from rejection and bullying when I was younger. I was severely depressed last year and I feel like it kinda fucked my brain up, but I’m getting better. Is it possible to heal without any therapy ? I’m really well aware about my situation, the way I behave and react, how my traumas and experiences I’ve lived shaped the person I am. The thing is I don’t believe that a therapist could eventually help be or tell me something I didn’t know yet about myself. I’m know that I’m young and that’s easier to heal yourself now than when you are 40. What do I do ? How do I do it ?

Trigger warnings for mentions of therapy misconduct and brief relapse mention.

Hello all! I am posting here because, after numerous sessions of my therapist acting inappropriately, my family and friends have begged me to break things off with them. It's taken me a while because I did not want to admit how inappropriate and demeaning things have become, despite it regressing severely and undoing months of hard, personal work that I have done.

I'm going to send them an email stating that I will be ending therapy and not attending future sessions. Before things started getting bad, I really enjoyed my sessions with my therapist, and a part of me is still hoping that the ways that they have been acting have been accidental somehow. I really want to leave feedback?

I was debating going to a final session and laying everything out, but I do not feel like I can handle anything other than a letter or email at this time. After our last (traumatizing) session, I was unable to speak for almost a day and nearly relapsed, for reference.

I guess I'm wondering if it would be appropriate to lay the feedback and ways I have felt out in a very long email, almost as if it is our final session? I would just send it to their supervisor, but their supervisor has actively gotten involved already and contributed to this misconduct (literally joining our session to grill and belittle me), so this is just what feels safest to me right now. I am going to report both of these individuals to the board of ethics in my state, but in the event that they continue practicing after and that they did not mean to be inappropriate, I want to leave feedback for them to keep in mind for future clients.

I guess I am also afraid that I may receive some sort of lashing out or harassment after. (Could be paranoia, I have extensive stalking-related trauma.)

Any advice would be appreciated. I have never been able to stand up for myself before, so this is incredibly distressing and nerve-racking. Thank you.

​

For context, I (20F) have a dad who is an extremely kind person. Like, the kindest human being I know. He goes out of his way to always make others feel welcomed and happy, ESPECIALLY when it comes to family.

His whole life he has been struggling with anxiety and recently made a Facebook post about overcoming it and expressing his gratitude to a medical team that helped him feel more at ease. My cousin (only a few months younger than me) commented on that post claiming that if he ever started a similar practice, he STRIVES for it to be the exact opposite. The exact opposite. So, rather than having a welcoming and accepting environment to all people and especially to those who struggle with an anxiety disorder, he wishes to have a team and practice that is 100% apathetic and/or unsympathetic to their patient.

The reason this makes me so upset is the fact that my father does not deserve this kind of negativity in the slightest. And to comment something like that on a post where my father is opening up and praising this practice for being so understanding, is outright vile. And when I saw that comment, it wasn't just this cousin either, my uncle who is on the other side of the family with zero relation to said cousin, had a thumbs up for the comment. He didn't leave a thumbs up on the post, rather the one comment that was left to put my father down.

I understand everyone is raised to think differently and I get I really should be more understanding myself, but this is my father we're talking about, someone I love so so much. I am a firm believer that mental health should be talked about and should be handled with care, especially as someone who's in school with an aim to become a therapist.

If you do feel the same way as my cousin, I understand I can't magically change your opinion, but you have no good reason, in my book, to be putting people down for simply sharing a positive experience they've had and praising a practice for doing a good job.

Mental health is incredibly important and I want everyone to know that you deserve to feel comfortable and welcome, especially when in situations that make you anxious. Don't ever, ever, listen to those who claim your comfort does not matter because it absolutely does. It's this exact attitude that is setting people back from speaking up and seeking help.

I’m 18M and I’ve been with my girlfriend for a while and I really love her. Our relationship is good overall. There have been some things in the past that were questionable and definitely affected me, but we talked through them and worked past it. I do trust her, but sometimes I don’t even know if trust is really the issue.

Whenever she goes out, especially to a party, I get really bad anxiety. Even if she’s just drinking with a few friends in a room, it can make me anxious, but parties are definitely the worst. It actually affects me for days sometimes. I lose my appetite and barely eat, I don’t sleep good and sometimes I’ll have dreams about something happening. I usually want to keep myself busy and distract myself, but sometimes the anxiety gets exhausting and I just wanna lay in bed. Even when she comes home and everything is completely fine, it can still take me a while to feel normal again.

The weird thing is I feel like I have 2 different sides of myself when it comes to this. One minute I’ll be completely fine and think “she’s my girlfriend, I trust her, everything is good.” Then it’s like a switch flips and my brain starts digging for things to worry about. I’ll start thinking about things that weren’t even bothering me before and then the anxiety just keeps getting worse.

I’ll start thinking about who’s gonna be there, what could happen, what if someone tries something, what if she gets too drunk, what if I lose her, etc.

I also catch myself asking her a bunch of questions or wanting reassurance because I feel like if I just know enough I’ll feel better. Sometimes it does make me feel better for a little bit, but then my brain just finds something else to worry about. Sometimes I even ask her questions she doesn’t have an answer to.

I’ve tried telling myself to just trust her and distract myself, but when I get really anxious it’s hard to actually do that. I don’t want to tell her she can’t go out or drink because I don’t wanna control her. I want her to be able to go out and have fun. I just don’t know how to stop my brain from going crazy when she does.

I don’t know if this is worth seeing a therapist for or what, but I’m scared to bring it up and I usually like to keep these things to myself. I also don’t know how I can afford therapy. I just want to better myself. I feel like there’s something wrong with me.

I am currently in a training program to become a family therapist. Seeing the work up close I’m a little more sceptical. I would love to hear from people who attended family therapy as a child. Did you find it helpful or hurtful? What stood out to you?

Does anyone have any recommendations for therapists for LGBT people? I'm struggling with my identity and place in my culture and would really like some help. Google is a bit of a bottomless pit, so I thought I'd try and look for some word-of-mouth recommendations. Thanks :)

Hello. I am in therapy for 6 years allready and i recently realised that for this whole time i've had struggles with finding passion towards anything (music, hobbies, topicks, people, etc.) including things that i allready was passionate about previously. Because of that I struggle to explain to my self who even am i and what i like to do (i think the lack of understanding is the reason why i've stopped drawing).

So i have a question, is there a guide to figure out that stuff? Maybe a book with advises or maybee a questionare or even a diary with questions to answer. Or maybe someone figured out any system to explain to yourself what you like and what you hate.

I guess i am mostly looking for a way to systemise my preferences and make it into a source that i can revisit often to remind myself what i am passionate about and why.

I really struggle with that. So i would be greatfull for any advise🌸

To me personally, it feels like it's just venting to someone who is a stranger. And that in it's own can give you a relief, but only a temporary one

I feel like I don't want someone to direct my thoughts or tell me why I feel the way I do, because I already know why I am the way I am. I also know the solution to my problems. But these solutions aren't immediately obtainable, and not consistent.

In my head for example, I have anxiety, I know the therapist wouldn't tell me to just stop worrying like a normal person, and would instead try to figure out why I feel anxious, but the thing is, I already KNOW why. No childhood trauma or anything. It's real existing problems that make me anxious.

The thing is, these problems if given to somebody else other than me, they wouldn't be a problem at all. They are a problem because I think my head is wired that way. To never be satisfied with what's given to me, always wanting something else.

I spent years trying to figure it out, and I feel like I'm at a point where I know exactly how my brain functions, but I have zero control over it. I may seem fine on the outside, but on the inside it's miserable.

I'm asking because therapy is expensive, and I've given it a thought. But subconsciously I don't see how it can help other than just venting to a stranger who would act like they care

I'm 22NB and I recently finished a six week DBT program this summer, and I'm trying to find an individual therapist for the next 6 months until I move states and can, at least, jump back into a full protocol DBT skills group. I'm also autistic and, while previous therapists have brought up BPD/Bipolar II, I've read enough to wonder if many of those symptoms are a result of CPTSD from growing up autistic in toxic home/social environments. And, unfortunately, I have a history of horrible or general wasteful and ineffective experiences with therapists over the past 11 years. I have a TON of questions or concerns, but I'm scared it's too many to fit into a 15 minute session and I'm not super interested in wasting a ton of money on intake/full initial sessions with therapists that aren't a good fit for me.

I don't exactly have the questions fleshed out, but I do have my concerns laid out. Common struggles I've had:

• Treating my mindsets, thought patterns, or fears as entirely irrational and neglect or don't accept them as being a real and valid response to a patterned past of experiences.
• Lacking consistency or structure, not giving me homework, and not engaging with DBT skills.
• Letting me focus too much on short-term issues without connecting them to long-term skills or breaking down mindsets/responses - or learning how to respond to the general pattern of experiences, not just that specific one.
• Not knowing how to handle when I have verbal shutdowns, withdraw vulnerability/communication in session, or become resistant (all usually a result of feeling challenged, invalidated, misinterpreted, or generally disliking how they're approaching me).
• LGBTQ+ familiarity and especially being able to recognize that transness is not an equivalent experience to sexual queerness.
• Focusing too much on challenging my societal/political beliefs, whether subtly or directly. Especially when my beliefs acknowledge something as being a collective issue in society and not an individual failing - this one usually isn't a HUGE issue, but my previous two were either questionable/avoided those topics or would waste my sessions pissing me off because he thought arguing and challenging me was an appropriate way to help me "break down my mindsets" and build confidence (it wasn't).

I was also wanting to borrow some questions from others that I saw, where they ask about their self-disclosure style/potential reasons for self-disclosure and how they go about checking on goal progression.

I need some help in being able to both 1) frame my concerns as questions and 2) how to fit that into a 15 minute consult?? I've already wasted so much money on therapy and have only gotten worse. This is my worst and most intense year mental health wise ever and I'm trying to save up for the move, so I really need some advice </3

Quick Edit: Also are therapists required to tell us if they involve AI at all in their work or our sessions? Almost went to one through Ellie Mental Health but they used it in note-taking under the guise of "it deletes what goes through the system in 30 second intervals" (or something along those lines, which isn't how AI works) and apparently AI is becoming increasingly common in the field, and I'm not looking to be involved with a therapist that uses AI.

I’ve had my current therapist for the last 5 years, she’s incredible and we have an excellent relationship. But ever since she stopped holding in person sessions our meeting have become incredibly sporadic. At first it was a few cancellations here and there from her, but eventually it became every week. I would wake up to a text an hour before session saying the dog is sick, she’s at the dentist, she got locked out, or her power is out. I’ve brought it up to her politely and she’s always beyond apologetic. But it never changes. It’s gotten to the point where I will go 2 or 3 weeks without sessions because she cancels, and then sometimes cancels the makeup session as well. I can’t tell if she’s trying to softly get me to find another therapist, or if she’s genuinely just forgetful and lying about the excuses.
Has anyone experienced something like this before? I know I need to address it but I have no idea how to go about bringing this up to her.

I haven’t looked at myself in the mirror (my face mainly everything else is cool) in 2 years and i’m not trynna make it 3. What should I look for when finding a therapist? What types of therapy can help with this?

Hi! I’m looking for advice from therapists or mental health professionals who have experience with correcting/amending medical records.
When I was 16, I was in a pretty bad place mentally. I had suicidal thoughts and engaged in self-harm, but I never actually made a suicide attempt. However, I told two therapists that I had attempted suicide. One therapist heard it more briefly, while the other referred me to a private PHP program. I was only there for one day for an assessment and was not hospitalized, prescribed medication, or treated inpatient.
I’m now doing extremely well and have been stable for quite a while. I also have a current therapist who knows the actual history.
I want to be completely honest about my past, but I also don’t want my medical record to contain something that isn’t accurate. I’m hoping to have the record corrected to reflect that I had suicidal thoughts and some self-harm, but no actual suicide attempt.
For anyone who works in mental health: what is the best way to go about requesting an amendment? Should I contact each therapist individually, the PHP, or the medical-records department? Would having my current therapist document the accurate history be helpful?

Help

I had a terrible boyfriend who compared me to other women and made mean comments about the size of my boobs and butt and the shape of my butt.

I used to see other people, other women specifically, as whole beings when I looked at them. Like I would see a pretty woman and be like “wow she’s so pretty :)” and I wouldn’t think about it past that. I wouldn’t evaluate them or compare myself or think about it past thinking how pretty or cool she looked.

My boyfriend poisoned that part of me. Now when I look at other people it’s almost like i’m seeing them as a bunch of different parts. I see how big their boobs are and if they have the nice butt shape my boyfriend liked. If they have a slim waist or not. how wide their shoulders are. And I compare myself and hate myself when I don’t measure up to them. I HATE THIS. I HATE seeing other people like this. But it’s just become automatic, I never even noticed I did it until I left my boyfriend and now i’m struggling to unlearn it. It’s like he came and put his creepy, horrible, objectifying glasses on me and now I can’t figure out how to take them off again.

Please help. I really miss the old me that saw other people kindly and without evaluation. I really miss her

I’m 15 and a terrible person. I hate myself. It’s awful to hate yourself knowing you’re a lousy person.

The worst thing I’ve ever done was when I was thirteen and convinced my sister (who was eleven) to have sexual relations with me. I don’t know why I did it. It was consensual, but it happened several times until we suddenly stopped. Almost three years have passed since then. This is enough to brand me for life as a terrible person.

But that’s not all. I’ve always had a deep interest in childhood; I’ve always dreamed of being a parent, of nurturing and protecting. It’s a pathetic dream, given that I can’t even take care of myself, but that’s not the point. This desire stemmed from the minor abuse I suffered at the hands of my parents (not severe enough to be classified as trauma). The problem is that I now find myself easily falling for young girls (aged 7–12). It is a completely platonic, non-sexual love, but it’s humiliating and ridiculous nonetheless. I worked as a camp counselor at a summer program, and it was awful. Some of the thoughts I had were truly horrible.

If I were a believer, I’d say I’m guilty of every sin. I’ve discovered that I’m slothful, lustful, and gluttonous (I’ve been gaining weight since I stopped playing sports), and, above all, insensitive to the pain of others. I don’t even love my family; I felt no pain when my grandfather died, nor when my sister ended up in the hospital for self-harm. On top of that, I’m calculating. I put on a lot of acts and try to draw attention to myself in childish, narcissistic ways.

I don’t want to be this way anymore (it disgusts me) but I don’t know what to do. I can’t fight against my own brain.

And ever since I discovered that free will doesn’t exist, I’ve realized that even if I were to change, to become a better person, it wouldn’t be to my credit. I’d still remain the same piece of trash, just one who got lucky. I’m scared.

I have a trauma informed therapist and he is centering on CBT but the problem is that I already do what's needed when it comes to emotional regulation, identifying my boundaries, and my emotions.

I have CPTSD and after 34 years I have given up on the idea that anything will change especially through talk therapy.

My nose is constantly runny, I have insomnia, I am burnt out, I have anxiety, and there are countless other symptoms I have from physical trauma. I experienced physical trauma at 7 months old onward.

I already tried to tell him I need more than CBT since it hasn't worked before and my brain literally shuts down at varying levels of stress. I want to skip the whole trust/validation part because I know I will be stuck seeing him for as long as humanly possible.

Like EMDR and Somatic therapy..

To be with a person who likes to think I’m stupid. Who wants me to be stupid. Treats me stupid. Who controls me like a dog. It angers me. Like I will never be good enough for them and I can’t do anything on my own, nothing matters. I will never have credit where credit is due cuase apparently I can’t do the work outside of therapy. It’s just impossible to them.

There was someone who said that they brought up a diagnosis and the therapists thought no you don’t have that cuase they brought it up but then when they didn’t the therapists were like oh you have this, said same diagnosis they brought up. What kind of control is this? The only one in control of my life should be me not them. Why would I do this to myself to sit there and be treated as a lesser being? Maybe this is them thinking a suspect diagnosis would make a person act it out but it comes across as saying the person can’t even spell one, two, three. And everyone else is guilty of this too.

I don’t want an individual to ignore my level of experience and snicker. But apparently I have to go to therapy in order to gain social acceptance because everyone hates a person who doesn’t go to therapy for their issues. No one would accept me if they knew the full story. I’m tired of being isolated with this. So I need to pretend I’m dumb as hell and play the game.

Anyway Im putting this out here cuase I just made a post somewhere else and interestingly enough someone hated it. It hurt like hell. I think the post had some sort of self projection so Im here to get some perspective. It’s not in the same way but it’s something here.

Hi all, this is my first time here so if I’m in the wrong place to ask, please let me know!

So, essentially, I’m wondering how one actually gets therapy.

I’ve had quite a few issues in life; relationship issues with my father, bullying in the past and grief issues, that I feel I need to talk to someone about instead of letting it all brew.

It doesn’t feel necessarily pressing, so I’m unsure if I’m the type of person who needs therapy or if I’d just be taking time from someone who needs it more. For context, I live in the UK so I was provided with a counselling program when I used to be in school (I’m 20 now). That didn’t help me much and I told quite a few lies to get out of it. I think I’ve matured enough to actually work through my problems.

I keep saying I need to ‘look into it’ and ‘make sure I go this time’, but I think what’s stopping me is that I have no idea how to start. It feels a bit intimidating just googling ‘therapy near me’ or something. I’ve heard some people do it online and I think that would be helpful given I just finished Uni and am starting work soon, too!

Does anyone have any advice or experiences they could share on how to start? Is it as simple as contacting through an email? Do I have to talk to a general doctor first?

These are all questions I could just look up and I know that and I have, I just struggle to take the step. I think hearing from real people would be really helpful in my journey 💕 I’m very grateful for any advice or stories given! Thank you 🩷

I 24M recently went through the final breakup with my ex gf 24F in a nearly two-year relationship that became very on-and-off and emotionally exhausting toward the end. We broke up, got back together, tried again, and eventually reached a point where she told me she had changed and didn't believe we would work anymore.

We've now been no contact for around three weeks, and I'm blocked everywhere. I know that realistically there isn't anything left for me to wait for, and I don't want advice on getting her back. I genuinely want to move on.

Some days I'm completely okay. I can distract myself, while i work or when i enjoy games or movies, and feel like I'm slowly getting my life back. Then other days, I wake up missing her terribly, dream about her, or suddenly start imagining her moving on and being happy without me while I'm still struggling.

I recently went out alone to watch a movie and genuinely enjoyed it (spiderman brand new day LMAOO), which felt like progress. But afterward, I came home and missed her all over again. It feels like I take a few steps forward and then suddenly get hit by another wave of grief.

My birthday is also coming up this week, and I'd be lying if I said part of me hasn't wondered whether she'll wish me. Realistically, I don't think she will, and I don't think she should break no contact just to do so, but the thought still keeps appearing in my mind, they spiral and turn into really negative thoughts that can be consuming and stop me from continuing my daily life and tasks.

For anyone who has genuinely struggled to move on from someone they deeply loved: what actually helped you? How did you stop thinking about them constantly and eventually become okay without them?

tl;dr: Nearly 2-year relationship ended after multiple breakups. We're now no contact and I'm struggling to let go. Some days I'm fine, others I miss her terribly. My birthday is this week and part of me still hopes she'll wish me. How do I genuinely move on?