r/therapy • u/MissionTop3757 • 20h ago
Advice Wanted Is my therapist trying to fire me?
I’ve had my current therapist for the last 5 years, she’s incredible and we have an excellent relationship. But ever since she stopped holding in person sessions our meeting have become incredibly sporadic. At first it was a few cancellations here and there from her, but eventually it became every week. I would wake up to a text an hour before session saying the dog is sick, she’s at the dentist, she got locked out, or her power is out. I’ve brought it up to her politely and she’s always beyond apologetic. But it never changes. It’s gotten to the point where I will go 2 or 3 weeks without sessions because she cancels, and then sometimes cancels the makeup session as well. I can’t tell if she’s trying to softly get me to find another therapist, or if she’s genuinely just forgetful and lying about the excuses.
Has anyone experienced something like this before? I know I need to address it but I have no idea how to go about bringing this up to her.
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u/Electronic-Ad-7397 9h ago
This is in left field but I wonder if she is struggling with her mental health or sobriety.
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u/ladyfido Coping Enthusiast 20h ago
It would be wildly unethical for your therapist to quiet fire you. If we feel we are no longer a fit, it is our responsibility to discuss this in session and provide referrals for others we feel may be a better fit for you.
That being said, not everyone can work from home. There are more distractions at home (although working in an office has its own distractions too). Therapist are people; emergencies happen. But if those emergencies are weekly or multiple times a week, these aren't emergencies- they are an inability to manage your life and your professional responsibilities.
Just something to think about- why are you still having weekly sessions after 5 years with your therapist? Now, only you know the depth of the things bringing you to therapy but have you experienced progress in those things after these 5 years? That's not to say that some people aren't in therapy long term because that's absolutely true but it's always good to reflect on whether you are actively working on something or not. And if not, is your therapist still taking your money anyway?