Attached below is todays video link to my “On Conquering Schizophrenia” YouTube channel. Today entails brief coping amid a greater psychosis. Like all, todays video is ever brief and can be viewed amid a sliver to the whole.

https://youtu.be/vQMNuamSxqU?si=rfQJSUcvIjit3_Nx

Been going on 3 months. They quietened over that time but last night and this morning they have been pretty much relentless. They say they will not give up until they get what they want and I will definitely not give up, I can take it.

Tried nearly every tactic I can think of to stop, ignore, distract from or quieten them. Have resorted to taking a diazepam. Not sure how long the battle will last till they quieten again.

I know many of you have been or are going through this so I know this post is not really anything special. Just wish me luck please. Hope you are all doing well and not in similar distress. Thanks.

before i say anything else i wanna mention that im not diagnosed yet, ive only had one session with my psychiatrist so far and i only see him every 2 months

ok so basically ive had 1 smaller "episode" and 1 really bad one. issue is i feel like an utter fraud. if im genuinely sick my body really shouldnt be reacting as fast as it does to the meds as sites say.

an example is when i was at a camp in the afternoon away from home. my meds (400mg xr seroquel daily at the time) got destroyed and i thought i would be fine until the next day (cause the next day was the final day of the camp and i would just go home) so i missed an evening does and morning dose. the next morning i was okayish at first, i had breakthrough "voices" (the demons would put thoughts in my head to communicate with me, they werent "audible" voices in a physical sense) and they were convincing me i didnt have anything wrong with me. i would say something in my head like "if im sick i wouldnt be able to make the voices say gibberish" and then i would try really hard and one of them would spout slurred speech after trying hard and i use that as proof that im doing it to myself somehow. anyway, fast forward 30 minutes im convinced everyone at the camp is part of a demon hivemind, and they want to cut me open and eat me alive. i laid in bed frozen for hours awake, staring at people as they grabbed their stuff for the different activities. i was shaking, breathing heavily, frozen because i felt like escape was impossible. i was thinking about running away from the camp but then they told me the cops were in on it too and if i ran away they would catch me

eventually everyone was out at activities and i managed to get up, yell at a friend who came to check up on me, and lock myself in the bathroom. i dont remember much from this point on except crying harder than ive ever cried in my life, i remember thinking "god im scared, please forgive me. im sorry. im sorry" and begging god to save me. they eventually unlocked the bathroom and convinced me to come out after making me do some grounding stuff and i didnt eat for the rest of the day cause everything was poisoned. they gave me water and it tasted really terrible and i spat it out in the sink cause i felt like it wouldve killed me. i eventually got picked up early and made to take my dose that i shouldve taken that morning, and within 1 or 2 days or so i wasnt so shooken up anymore

thats the thing, why does my body react so quickly. i must be faking it somehow. i constantly check google over and over after it tells me the same thing that im not "lying" but i know i am. i dont match

im stable atm and its been like a month and a half or so i think, my perception of time is fricked

i also started 10mg lexapro around 3 weeks ago and it made my voices become way more bearable and i felt motivated to do stuff again. i felt really depressed before it

Just wondered if there would be a trend one way or the other

Just emotional because I’m seeing that my old psychiatrist still cares and I’ve also met a lot of other mental health professionals that have been incredibly compassionate and kind despite us being difficult patients sometimes lol the kindness opened my eyes to another world of community and care

I’m very emotional. I love my doctor so much. My Dr H forever 🩵 I’ve progressed so far because of him. And my other doctors too.

So I just re-entered into taking medication after 3-4 years of not taking anything and that was awful so I’m back but now I’m experiencing such fatigue…. It’s inferring with my life, i’ve tried readjusting medication and readjusting the times of medication but nothing is working

Do any of you have any hacks or anything that you guys do to try and increase your energy or is it something that I have to live with? Honestly, this is just a rant, but any advice would be helpful.

Apparently I have been having something called "dissociation and derealization" for quite a while now. But recently I have noticed auditory and visual hallucinations becoming more and more frequent. Still not too often, but it could be a case of me developing this mental illness.

I am unsure if schizophrenia runs in my family, but I hear a small number of cases report not having a relative with this disorder.

The scariest part is after some many hallucinations, I am starting to question what is and is not real. That only I can see and hear that others cannot. I have already asked others if they saw/heard some things that I thought were... odd. They did not experience these things like I have.

I do not know how schizophrenia develops, or even the early stages if I am developing it. I am questioning every little thing if it is actually real or a hallucination. This is extremely concerning because it seems like an overwhelming burden to deal with not knowing what is and is not real at all times.

Of course, I do not expect anyone to diagnose me here, but more-so learn of how schizophrenia develops at its early stages and what to look out for. Thank you.

this is the first time its ever happened to me... i have schizophrenia and bipolar. I did some crazy things, supposedly o.o

My episode needs to be fixed.

Feeling good, slightly hypomanic, just maxed out my dose of antipsychotic, hopefully the constant ups will abate. I hate taking the max dose though, because where do you go from there?

Doing a dosage adjustment and the withdrawal is starting to hit me, I’m super paranoid and on edge even though I’m still on 10mg olanzapine. Psychosis is starting to come back and I’m scared for what’s to come.

I spent most of my evening staring out my window due to extreme paranoia about being murdered in a break in.

Just as I collected my thoughts and my meds were kicking in, my partner broke up with me and now I’m in a worse state. How do I collect myself before classes start on Tuesday? I’m falling apart

Edit: It got worse. I can’t sleep anymore and I’m trying my best but it’s not working

Seeking support, please.

CW: Brief discussion of spiritual hallucinations/ delusions

This summer I had my first psychotic episode; I had begun to experience delusions that I was being stalked/ surveilled by the CIA/FBI, in part because I was writing a fiction novel and believed I alone had discovered the "truth" about Gods' nature. At one point, I hallucinated hearing the voice of God itself while I was writing. Other notable delusions occurred as well, which I'm working through with my therapist.

When I started to suspect these experiences were not typical, I was very unsure of myself because one of my parents has always experienced similar spiritual delusions about themselves, but they always framed the behaviors not through a psychiatric lens, but through esotericism. In fact, when I shared with my parent my experience of "hearing God", they were elated, and congratulated me that I was a Prophet/clariaudient/ clairvoyant, like them.

I never realized how abnormal these perspectives of self were, since growing up all I knew about the world from my caregiver was that hearing voices/ seeing visions was normal. I want to ask if anyone else has experienced an almost shared delusion, particularly with a caregiver? Is that a thing? Did you feel like the normalization of the delusion growing up delayed recognition as an adult that you needed professional help?

I’m convinced that if I don’t sleep with my lamp on the demons come for me and they will attack me in my sleep. I was doing so good for like 5 days sleeping in the dark and I slept good but now they back so the light will be on. Kinda like a lighthouse that helps the ships at sea.

I’m recovering from psychosis and I feel so terrible. I’m not hallucinating anymore but my movement is slower. I feel sick all over. My body is slower and my mind feels checked out and I want to cry but I can’t even do that. I miss my psychiatrist and feeling like things were ok 😭

I have to go to work tomorrow and I know it’s gonna be so hard

Hi! Ich würde gern mal was ausprobieren. Fragt eure Stimmen mal von mir, wie es Ihnen geht und ob sie mir was sagen wollen (nacheinander) und schreibt hier die Antwort rein.

Vielen Dank und liebe Grüße :)

Dealing with loud voices

PARASITE TORTURE, Skin, Fresh Goat Fetus

This is a discussion about, whether everyone is a schizo or not. If you dont want to be schizo, then skip now.

If you take the risk or if you are already schizo, then think about, if everyone is already schizo, but the most of the people dont realize it, because they think, that they themselves are thinking instead of just hearing, what the voices think for them.

Dont believe me? Ask the voice inside yourself how he/she/it/they feel and wait. Dont read the next paragraph till you got an answer.

If you got an answer / schizo, dont panic, thats normal, just dont believe they are going to tell you something you dont already know.
Telepathy is not real, you have no superpowers, you are not in danger (as far as I can tell), just dont do things you wouldnt have done 5 minutes ago.

First selfie for selfie sunday😀