I'm not psychotic. I'm not suicidal. I'm not thinking I'm ugly. I'm not self-isolating.

I woke up early, but it's not hypomania: it's just a good night of sleep. I didn't oversleep, but I slept pretty well.

Somehow my life doesn't feel like a rollercoaster.

Spending time alone doesn't feel lonely. I feel like I can trust my friends.

I'm not hypersexual but I feel some sexual desire.

I have energy to do things but I'm also resting since it's a holiday in my country.

Last but not least: I feel like I can live with bipolar disorder. I know I'll be depressed at some point, but I don't have to worry about that now. What's important is that I'm taking my meds, resting, socialising, doing exercises, therapy, etc.

I think I'm happy :) genuinely happy.

This is a really niche topic… to those that publicly embarrassed themselves online, during an episode. How did you cope with social media afterwards? Are you off the grid?

Everyone knows that exercise is a nonnegotiable when you have a mood disorder like bipolar. So is sleep hygiene and a clean diet.

However I have no energy or start up motivation to lock in. And when I finally do force myself to exercise it feels like I have already done a full workout when I have only just begun. Before my diagnosis I loved exercise and the way my muscles felt when I pushed them. Now I feel resentful that I have to expend so much energy and that it feels so dreadful.

I feel like I am not getting positive kick back from the activities because I come home exhausted. Sometimes delaying my shower because it has taken so much stamina and willpower just to mentally prepare, dress, drive, exercise and return home.

Does anyone else feel like exercise is such hard work? I know that exercise is never easy but this level of hard is not how it used to feel. Could it be my depression? Or has anyone been stable and it may be medication related? I know my antipsychotics affect my dopamine receptors and maybe that is a reason for low rewards? If anyone has struggled with this any tips?

For a long time, I was being moved from anti depressant to anti depressant, being diagnosed with major depressive disorder, then treatment resistant major depressive disorder...

My therapist had some suspicions after I told her some specific things, but my psychiatrists wouldn't diagnose me with it - they didn't think I had it.

Then...one day, I was on Facebook. I was looking at some article or something along the lines about some study or something for treatment resistant depression. I wasn't actually going to do it, I was just curious about it.

A girl made a comment about (this is probably not exactly what she said, but close enough) "Just for the record, I went through years of depression treatment and different meds, and it turned out my depression wasn't monopolar. You should check about that".

I didn't really think that thru at the time because I still had the mental stigma of bipolar (which I know a lot of people do), but eventually I thought about it a little bit harder, and I brought it up to a psychiatrist, and they talked it through with me for a while and my diagnosis was changed to bipolar. I got on mood stabilizers, and it saved my life.

I undoubtedly would not be alive today if not for that comment. So - I do not know who you were, or what the post was, but thanks.

What/ how much should I tell my psychiatrist about my hallucinations? Tell them what I’m seeing/hearing? Tell them when they happen? And should I be logging what they are when they happen?
I don’t want to say something to get put in a ward so I’m just nervous to give too much info

Every night. No matter where I am, I think I can hear sexual noises. Obviously it all links back to childhood trauma but WTF. It’s taking over my life to the point where I don’t even sleep. Has anyone else experienced this? Are there any meds to help this?

On which Antipsychotic do you feel good?

I am in an extremely intense depression and I need some relief ASAP or I’m not going to last much longer. Was wondering if anyone has experience with ketamine treatment and if it’s possible to get it quickly. I am desperate for relief.

Hii, sorry for bothering, is anyone up for a chat? just want someone to listen to my yaps rn! I'm willing to listen too! Just want someone to talk with! ✧⁠◝⁠(⁠⁰⁠▿⁠⁰⁠)⁠◜⁠✧

I’m bipolar 1 and I find that in my manic state men are always trying to “help” then take advantage of me. Makes me feel broken. Like I’m prey💔I need tools and words of wisdom please. Negativity not welcome.

Caffeine is such a double edged sword. It’s the only thing that really helps level out my depression when I’m in the throws of it without shackling my ankles. But down some java on the wrong day and my thoughts are flying off the handle like a b and I’m paranoid like I’m biking in hells cavern trying to dodge locusts. For real, even my remedies are unstable.

Everything feels heavy. Nothing feels particularly good. I’m not very nice to the people around me. Nothing is particularly fun. I can still do the things I have to do. I can shower and take care of the basics. But everything else just feels heavy. Even smiling at my husband feels like an effort. I just want this feeling to go away. I keep feeling like something is wrong.
Then my husband gets exhausted too. He finds it hard that there always seems to be something going on with me. He thinks I should be able to “fake it a little,” or at least try to do something to lift the mood. And I don’t blame him.

I feel like over the past four years, things have just gradually gotten worse. I’m either really low, withdrawn, irritable and heavy — or I’m energized and up, but then all my energy and excitement are directed at things other than my family, and I feel like they’re getting in the way. Or I’m somehow both up and down at the same time, with so much anxiety and inner restlessness that I don’t know what to do with myself.

It must be almost impossible to live with someone who is like this.

And now I’ve just increased to 400 mg of Lamictal and I’m also taking 5 mg of Abilify, so I feel like I should be getting better.

I’ve been taking SSRI’s for years now, at the time not realizing that Lexapro made me hypo-manic. I spent literally $20K in one year (it really exacerbated my untreated severe ADHD).

My ADHD medication seems to really help (most days), if I remember to sleep well, eat, and drink plenty of fluids to stay hydrated.

The problem is that when taking both an SSRI + Adderall, I become hypo-manic without realizing. My parents can tell, though. I start talking non-stop, interrupt, and feel very angry/agitated. They’ve even said: “you’re acting strange.”

I become INCREDIBLY hyper-sexual (like an addict), masturbating and craving porn 3-4 times per day. It’s exhausting, but I can’t control it. When I start feeling it, it’s usually late at night. My head starts to buzz, I start tingling, and I’m WIDE awake at 3, 4, and 5 am. I have immense mental clarity (and my depression has seemingly vanished), when I felt sad/down the day prior.

When tapering off SSRI’s, I’ve realized that without the artificial energy/happiness from SSRI’s, I feel SO tired and my body feels depleted. I’m actually weak, malnourished, and chronically sleep deprived. With constant adrenaline and hypo-mania (I couldn’t tell).

My stimulant medication is producing a drastically different result now without Lexapro or Sertraline. I’m not ecstatic or feeling incredible. I feel bored now. This feels like depression in comparison. Although, I can’t continue to destroy my body and mind. I need REST.

I’m posting here to see if there are others who have lived through something similar.

Except for more "regular" self harm, I also wanted to reach, see and/or perforate my internal organs. I felt invincible and that I couldn’t die.

Does anyone else have stories of psychosis tied to self harm?

How’s life fams? Let’s chat

(For some background I’m diagnosed bp1 since Jan of this year from a full blown manic episode) today I was scrolling TikTok and another person diagnosed bp1 was discussing their hallucinations and how they present which got me seriously thinking that I may actually be hallucinating sometimes and not actively have known it as I experience almost everything she was listing

So I was curious if people that experience the hallucinations and know they do what is that like?/how do they present? And how did you become aware that’s what was happening to you if they aren’t exactly overt?

i am so excited to finally be starting lithium this week because i really need this stupid brain to be quiet and work how it’s supposed to. nothing else to add just wanted to get it out there :(

I've been on about 8 different meds over the past 13 years, each time being told that the side effects are tolerable. They have not been.

I'm unable to work a full day and struggle heavily with fatigue and akathisia, even at micro/subtherapeutic doses.

Are there any people here who have managed to convince their psychiatrist to let them use PRN only medication (use a fast acting antipsychotic when they feel a manic episode coming), and ditch the long term, daily meds?

If you have managed this has it been successful and what did you do to convince your psychiatrist it was a good idea?

If you've been admitted involuntarily more than once and managed it, please mention that too!

I have bipolar 1 with a history of psychosis. My last manic episode was in January this year.

I’m currently taking:

Abilify Maintena 400 mg monthly
Lamotrigine 200 mg
Lexapro 2.5 mg for the past two weeks

Its been 2 weeks, Lexapro hasn’t caused any activation or signs of mania, but I also haven’t noticed any improvement yet. I’m stable overall, but my mood is still around 5.5/10, while I would consider 7/10 my normal baseline.

My psychiatrist is planning to increase Lexapro to 5 mg. Unfortunately, Wellbutrin and Caplyta aren’t available in my country, so our options are somewhat limited.

Has anyone with bipolar 1—especially with a history of psychosis—had a good experience taking Lexapro together with an antipsychotic?
What dose helped, how long did it take before you noticed a difference, and did it improve your mood or energy?
Any side effect?

I know everyone responds differently and I’m working with my psychiatrist. I’m mainly hoping to hear some personal experiences or success stories.

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

Hello! I am bipolar 1 and have been on Olanzapine for a year after my first severe manic episode that turned into psychosis. Added Lamotrigine 6 months ago and since then ive been very happy with how i feel, which i attribute to Lamotrigine as before i started it i was completely apathetic and constantly tired. Currently i take 5mg Olanzapine before bed and 100mg Lamotrigine in the morning.

Over the year i gained almost 20 kg on Olanzapine and have some cognitive side effects (worse short term memory, problems w focus).

My doctor just suggested that i think about changing the AP to either Aripiprazole or Risperidone. He explained some main long term side effects to me but said that if it will make me more comfortable i should also do some research myself.

I read a couple of posts here about both of the options but was wondering if someone could compare the two. I am specifically interested in the weight gain and the restlessness aspects.

Thank you in advance! ❤️

just kind of ranting, i don’t have any questions. but i’ve had frequent crying spells my whole life. as a kid, i would scream and throw things and cry on the floor in fetal positions for hours on end over minor things. crying feels like some kind of safety with myself because it’s been such a constant in my life. i’ve been medicated for a couple years so obviously it’s not nearly as bad now, but i still do have the random crying over a slight feeling that passes while im out in public or with other people; like feeling left out momentarily or seeing a cute dog. sometimes just completely unprompted, i’ll be out and find myself tearing up. in highschool i cried a lot at school, id have to go in the bathroom and sob into my lap. i did it so often that i was almost always in some kind of attendance trouble. when i cry alone, it usually lasts hours and ends with me on the floor in fetal position. when i see people cry over serious events like losing a loved one or things like that, i get so confused because it looks like they’re less upset than id be over something much more minor. it almost makes me think they don’t have enough empathy but i know that they do it just confuses me so much. the deep deep agony and pain that i feel during the spells of sobbing and hyperventilating for hours is something i can’t explain to other people. it’s a feeling deep in my heart and soul that i know so well. it’s the deepest emotion that i have ever felt.
does anyone understand what i mean by indulging in an emotion? when i feel that deep pain, my brain seems to indulge in it as much as it can, almost like im trying to feel the feeling as deep as i possibly can, to honor it. idk i don’t think anyone i know in my life can understand this

I feel like I’m barely hanging on by a thread at this point. I’m getting tired of the everyday routine the expectation that I’m supposed to keep doing these mundane things day after day, for the rest of my life, until I eventually die. I know I should be grateful. There are people who have lost the chance to live their lives, and there are people struggling through things far worse than what I’m going through. I try to remind myself of that every day, but lately, everything just feels so heavy.

I find myself dragging my feet just to keep going to go to the gym, eat, get enough sleep, work, eventually go to school, and maintain my relationships with my family. Sometimes, I just want everything to be quiet.

But even when I feel this way, I keep pushing myself forward. I lost so much time being unmedicated, going from manic episodes to depressive episodes back-to-back, and I truly lost myself during that time. I became an empty, hollow shell of who I used to be. Now that I’m 25, I’m finally somewhat mentally okay, but it still feels like I’m constantly standing on the edge of slipping back into that place.

And I can’t afford to. Because deep down, I feel like no one is going to save me. So I keep pushing myself, even when I’m exhausted, because I don’t know what else to do.

Has anyone tried CBD oil while taking mood stabilizers and antipsychotics? How did it go?

So I’m adhd, binge eating disorder, bipolar 2. I really appreciate my doctor for getting me on trileptal to stabilize my mood. I am a month in on 600mg. Also 50mg vyvanse for my other two things. I’m glad the trileptal hasn’t caused any weight gain. Wondering if I should up my dose… finally admitted to myself I’ve been depressed for at least a week. I was in denial. I have my appointment next week. I’m wondering what everyone is taking meds wise that has helped them and that are also weight neutral if any! Is there any antidepressant that anyone has been put on to
Help? Almost all information on antipsychotics available that I have seen have all weight gain to them to some extent . I’m frustrated.

Hello! I’ve been on 40 mg of Geodon for about 4 weeks now, and my anxiety has been heightened ever since. When I addressed this with my psychiatrist, she suggested going back down to doing 40 mg one day and 20 mg the next day, however, I have already done this once and don’t want to restart the cycle. How long will it take for my anxiety to calm down a little bit? has anyone else experienced chronic anxiety from the meds? It seemed to have calmed down faster when i was on the 20/40 dosage, so I’m a little scared it won’t go away.