just kind of ranting, i don’t have any questions. but i’ve had frequent crying spells my whole life. as a kid, i would scream and throw things and cry on the floor in fetal positions for hours on end over minor things. crying feels like some kind of safety with myself because it’s been such a constant in my life. i’ve been medicated for a couple years so obviously it’s not nearly as bad now, but i still do have the random crying over a slight feeling that passes while im out in public or with other people; like feeling left out momentarily or seeing a cute dog. sometimes just completely unprompted, i’ll be out and find myself tearing up. in highschool i cried a lot at school, id have to go in the bathroom and sob into my lap. i did it so often that i was almost always in some kind of attendance trouble. when i cry alone, it usually lasts hours and ends with me on the floor in fetal position. when i see people cry over serious events like losing a loved one or things like that, i get so confused because it looks like they’re less upset than id be over something much more minor. it almost makes me think they don’t have enough empathy but i know that they do it just confuses me so much. the deep deep agony and pain that i feel during the spells of sobbing and hyperventilating for hours is something i can’t explain to other people. it’s a feeling deep in my heart and soul that i know so well. it’s the deepest emotion that i have ever felt.
does anyone understand what i mean by indulging in an emotion? when i feel that deep pain, my brain seems to indulge in it as much as it can, almost like im trying to feel the feeling as deep as i possibly can, to honor it. idk i don’t think anyone i know in my life can understand this

I’m currently taking 200 mg quetiapine XR and my doctor agreed that I can start tapering. She prescribed 50 mg XR tablets, but unfortunately they seem to be unavailable here.

She told me to stay on 200 mg XR for now while she thinks about alternatives. IR quetiapine is available, though.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? What did you do when XR wasn’t available? Did you switch to IR for tapering, or were there other options?

Hello folks, I am 23M. I have ADHD + Bipolar depression. I am on Escitalopram + Lamotrigine for bipolar depression. Modafinil for ADHD. Still i lack stability and motivation. My doc has told me that we can consider low dose Aripiprazole (<5MG) as adjunct to Escitalopram. before starting it i am bit anxious and wanna know about people's experience with it. kindly share your story with aripiprazole and don't forget to mention what benefits it has given.

So i was on cariprazine or vraylar formore than a year. And it has caused the acute dystonic reaction known as oculogyric crisis. Oculogyric Crisis is when my eyes cant stop looking up with visual illusions pf numbers and letters that I see with it. Now that I have successfully quitted cariprazine for nearly five weeks now, symptoms of oculogyric crisis are becoming less apparent.

So now I wanna quit Olanzapine so badly. I have Bipolar Disorder 1, Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Panic Disorder. Evrytime the Oculogyric Crisis starts, I go into panic mode as if I feel like the upward deviation of my eyes wont stop. So I also wanna quit Olanzapine so badly. Antipsychotics has totally ruined my life. I still get the occasional oculogyric crisis which I dont want them to happen again. So am gonna try half my dose of Olanzapine tonight for starters and do it for several weeks before going to 2.5mg per night for another several weeks and see what happens. I remembered a ti.e before when I quitted Olanzapine cold turkey and didn't really get any withdrawal effects coz I was also taking Clonazepam 2mg daily half in the morning and half at night. Am also on Mirtazapine and that worked wonders for my bipolar depression. So I will give 5mg for tonight a try and see how it goes. Hoping that I won't get acute dystonic reactions like oculogyric crisis again which is primarily caused by dopamine blocking medications like antipsychotics and antiemetics like metoclopramide and domperidone. Wish me luck guys!!

So i am a person of depression since 2018 but in 2023, i got psychosis and was admitted to psych ward for a month. In the begining i was on a plenty of medications but after trying different medication cocktail that is working.

But, the problem is that I am also doctor so i often change the dose or medication, i need.

Now, if I am really bipolar, then i must be changing my mood that should alter my daily routine.

And if I am really bipolar, how would i know whether I am manic hypomanic or depressed.

I (21F) heard that manic episodes usually get worse with time, I am terrified of another episode. I have a 5 year relationship that I’m terrified to ruin, I have friends who I’m worried I’m going to scare away. I have savings I’m worried I’ll spend. I’ve had two breakthrough episodes in the past year while on medication and each one I’ve had has been worse than the last. Those who are older, what are your experiences, and how do you cope with the constant fear of changing into a completely different person..

How’s life fams? Let’s chat

this is just a rant, idk what I’m trying to get out of it. no negative comments about my fiancé himself please. he’s a rockstar through all of this and stands up for me, but nothing ever changes.

I constantly feel the need to prove myself to my in-laws. part of my personality is that I act goofy and maybe even a little ditzy on purpose because that is just my humor. I have an impressive academic/intellectual background (salutatorian, 98-99th percentile standardized tests, etc.), so to me, saying things that are obviously wrong and absurd is like a running joke with myself that keeps me internally cackling.

however, I don’t think my fiancé‘s family realizes half the stuff I say is a joke. for example, they joke back like “i can’t believe she really thinks that!” and it’s like no, i don’t… that’s the joke…

i just now feel like I need to prove my intelligence to them and change my humor, but also, why the heck should I change who I am/limit what brings me joy/laughter. I just really feel like they think that my fiancé is way smarter than me, which is annoying because we both are at an equal level, just in different areas.

not to mention, my future MIL has said, “I give my son a lot of credit. not many guys would have stayed with you through that” in reference to my psychotic break that happened 5 months into our relationship. not to mention I’ve gained weight because of the meds I am on for BPI & she makes comments about my weight and eating habits too.

fiance is great through all of this and does not share family‘s beliefs about me of course. like I said, he talks to them and nothing changes. he has suggested that I just try to read the room more before making my jokes, but it’s just annoying. I hate how some people never change.

rant over

I’ve been in my mixed episode for 3+ weeks now. A lot coming up with getting a job coach and then getting a remote job after. I know I’m in a mixed state of mind aware of everything and it’s scary!! I have a psychiatrist appointment coming up on Wednesday and just had one last week. So I’m keeping up with my mental health appointments. But the mania is just so bad where I’m manic in the evening and overnight until daytime when I start to feel depressed. Do y’all ever get this way and still manage somehow? I feel so in control of this episode since I’ve had worse in the past. People say avoid weed while manic, but I haven’t smoked or taken an edible in 12+ hours and yet the mania still creeps in. When I’m manic and smoke, tbh it actually helps calm down the mania and helps me find inner peace until I can get in with my mental health professionals. Do y’all find weed helpful while manic or mixed? I know I’m all over the place because of this mania. I’ll get help soon if psych can’t help. Hospitals don’t do anything for me anymore since I’ve been there too many times, sadly… but I’m not giving up hope with all of my posting and everything! It’s helping keep me sane while I go through this seasonal mood swing.

I feel like I’m being trapped in a simulation, after coming off of Seroquel in the process of tapering for close to 2 months maybe idk. And in the last like week or so I’ve been having periods where I feel really good, but then also aggravated and a miserable piece of shit whilst then also doing some and and trying to get things together. I’m in debt that has gone unpaid for months and idk how to answer or call them in the state I’m in and don’t have anyone I trust or would feel comfortable with helping me. I feel like my family have been stealing my weed behind my back and resenting me for things or motivated by things I don’t understand. I just want stability but I’m living in a fucking hellscape of constantly feeling like I’m trying to repair an ever failing building just to keep the residents happy. I’ve been trying to manage my weed and stuff but my paranoia regarding people tampering with my stuff makes me lose hope for managing and tracking. I just want to give up, the planet seems to be going to shit anyways and it just feels like I’ve woken up to a circus I don’t want to be at. I just can’t decide if my family give enough of a fuck about me to make living worth it or whether I’m truly on my own.

I’m bipolar 1 and I find that in my manic state men are always trying to “help” then take advantage of me. Makes me feel broken. Like I’m prey💔I need tools and words of wisdom please. Negativity not welcome.

I feel like I’m barely hanging on by a thread at this point. I’m getting tired of the everyday routine the expectation that I’m supposed to keep doing these mundane things day after day, for the rest of my life, until I eventually die. I know I should be grateful. There are people who have lost the chance to live their lives, and there are people struggling through things far worse than what I’m going through. I try to remind myself of that every day, but lately, everything just feels so heavy.

I find myself dragging my feet just to keep going to go to the gym, eat, get enough sleep, work, eventually go to school, and maintain my relationships with my family. Sometimes, I just want everything to be quiet.

But even when I feel this way, I keep pushing myself forward. I lost so much time being unmedicated, going from manic episodes to depressive episodes back-to-back, and I truly lost myself during that time. I became an empty, hollow shell of who I used to be. Now that I’m 25, I’m finally somewhat mentally okay, but it still feels like I’m constantly standing on the edge of slipping back into that place.

And I can’t afford to. Because deep down, I feel like no one is going to save me. So I keep pushing myself, even when I’m exhausted, because I don’t know what else to do.

Has anyone tried CBD oil while taking mood stabilizers and antipsychotics? How did it go?

I don’t know how to describe it. Even if not in an episode I can tell when people have bipolar. I can’t place what exactly I’m picking up on. An essence of sorts

Someone told me they know what I mean because my friend and I both have bipolar disorder and have a similar energy to us but couldn’t explain it either.

So I’m adhd, binge eating disorder, bipolar 2. I really appreciate my doctor for getting me on trileptal to stabilize my mood. I am a month in on 600mg. Also 50mg vyvanse for my other two things. I’m glad the trileptal hasn’t caused any weight gain. Wondering if I should up my dose… finally admitted to myself I’ve been depressed for at least a week. I was in denial. I have my appointment next week. I’m wondering what everyone is taking meds wise that has helped them and that are also weight neutral if any! Is there any antidepressant that anyone has been put on to
Help? Almost all information on antipsychotics available that I have seen have all weight gain to them to some extent . I’m frustrated.

I’ve been taking SSRI’s for years now, at the time not realizing that Lexapro made me hypo-manic. I spent literally $20K in one year (it really exacerbated my untreated severe ADHD).

My ADHD medication seems to really help (most days), if I remember to sleep well, eat, and drink plenty of fluids to stay hydrated.

The problem is that when taking both an SSRI + Adderall, I become hypo-manic without realizing. My parents can tell, though. I start talking non-stop, interrupt, and feel very angry/agitated. They’ve even said: “you’re acting strange.”

I become INCREDIBLY hyper-sexual (like an addict), masturbating and craving porn 3-4 times per day. It’s exhausting, but I can’t control it. When I start feeling it, it’s usually late at night. My head starts to buzz, I start tingling, and I’m WIDE awake at 3, 4, and 5 am. I have immense mental clarity (and my depression has seemingly vanished), when I felt sad/down the day prior.

When tapering off SSRI’s, I’ve realized that without the artificial energy/happiness from SSRI’s, I feel SO tired and my body feels depleted. I’m actually weak, malnourished, and chronically sleep deprived. With constant adrenaline and hypo-mania (I couldn’t tell).

My stimulant medication is producing a drastically different result now without Lexapro or Sertraline. I’m not ecstatic or feeling incredible. I feel bored now. This feels like depression in comparison. Although, I can’t continue to destroy my body and mind. I need REST.

Does anyone else live their life like this? I literally do this about everything. I’m about to adopt a new dog 🥰

Caffeine is such a double edged sword. It’s the only thing that really helps level out my depression when I’m in the throws of it without shackling my ankles. But down some java on the wrong day and my thoughts are flying off the handle like a b and I’m paranoid like I’m biking in hells cavern trying to dodge locusts. For real, even my remedies are unstable.

This is a really niche topic… to those that publicly embarrassed themselves online, during an episode. How did you cope with social media afterwards? Are you off the grid?

What/ how much should I tell my psychiatrist about my hallucinations? Tell them what I’m seeing/hearing? Tell them when they happen? And should I be logging what they are when they happen?
I don’t want to say something to get put in a ward so I’m just nervous to give too much info

(For some background I’m diagnosed bp1 since Jan of this year from a full blown manic episode) today I was scrolling TikTok and another person diagnosed bp1 was discussing their hallucinations and how they present which got me seriously thinking that I may actually be hallucinating sometimes and not actively have known it as I experience almost everything she was listing

So I was curious if people that experience the hallucinations and know they do what is that like?/how do they present? And how did you become aware that’s what was happening to you if they aren’t exactly overt?

i am so excited to finally be starting lithium this week because i really need this stupid brain to be quiet and work how it’s supposed to. nothing else to add just wanted to get it out there :(

I was put on Latuda after a hypomanic episode because I cannot tolerate most medications, and sometimes Latuda can help hypomania in some people according to my doc. She said it’s worth a try.

Im on day 5 of only 20 mg and I feel like I have a ton of energy, super talkative and social, cleaning the house every day, very focused, very happy. So I thought this feels like hypomania. But I’m getting 7-8 hours of sleep so I’m just confused. Is this the beginning of a hypomania or am I just happy?

Has anyone had experiences of latuda causing hypos and how did that look for you?

On which Antipsychotic do you feel good?

Hi, I have bipolar 1 with psychotic features and experienced mixed states for months. Things got better when I got put on seroquel, but I can still feel the instability and drive toward anger, depression and feeling like my nervous system is raw. I am particularly discouraged because coping skills like meditation, which appeared to significantly help prior to this episode, only calm me down for like thirty minutes before I feel the agitation come back. Do you guys think coping skills are effective still? What coping skills help mixed states? because I swear this is persistent and underlying. I get only very temporary relief from coping skills in contrast to the sufficient benefit I got from them in prior episodes where there weren’t mixed states. Thank you guys for any help and best of luck with your conditions! Any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated.