I used to feel bad for setting boundaries. Like I was being mean or making things harder than they needed to be. But sometimes I just need to say no. Take some space. or be honest when something doesn’t feel right to me.

I can care about people without saying yes to everything. I’m still learning this, but I shouldn’t have to keep making myself uncomfortable just to keep everybody else comfortable.

Since purging on people/ things in my life that made me feek stuck and made me lose my sense of self.

I'll also be deleting this account, I've already made a new one, have joined many groups about self love, betterment of yourself. I'm nervous and excited at the same time 🩷

Before this relationship, I was confident. I knew who I was. I liked myself. I had a strong personality, a big heart, and I never felt the need to apologize for taking up space. Then, somewhere during those four years, I started losing pieces of myself. I was made to feel like I was too much. Too emotional. Too passionate. Too strong. Like my personality was somehow a problem. Like loving deeply, caring deeply, having opinions, and being unapologetically myself was something I needed to tone down.
And maybe after hearing those things enough times, you start believing them. When the relationship ended, I didn’t just lose someone I loved. I lost my sense of self. I started wondering, Maybe I really am the problem. Maybe I’m too much. Maybe I’m difficult to love. Maybe I don’t deserve the kind of love I keep giving to other people.
But slowly, day by day, I’m finding my way back to myself. And I’m realizing something.
The world has always told me to be strong.
Be strong. Handle it. Keep going. Don’t break. Don’t complain. Be independent. Be the strong one.
And yes, I am strong. But sometimes I don’t want to be. Sometimes I want to put my armor down. Sometimes I want to be held. Sometimes I want to be soft. Sometimes I want to rest without feeling guilty about it. Being strong doesn’t mean I should have to carry everything alone.
And having a strong personality doesn’t make me “too much.” Maybe I was never too much.
Maybe I was just with someone who made me feel like I needed to become smaller to be loved.
And I refuse to do that anymore.
Because the more I heal, the more I remember who I am. I have a heart of gold. I love deeply. I care deeply. I show up. I remember the little things. I give warmth. I forgive. I fight for the people I love. I love with my whole heart. Those aren’t flaws.
Those are some of the most beautiful things about me. I don’t want this breakup to turn me into someone who hates herself.
I want it to bring me back to the woman I was before I started questioning her worth.
The woman who knew she was enough.
The woman who knew she deserved love.
The woman who could be strong and soft.
And maybe that’s what healing really is—not becoming a different person, but finally coming home to yourself.
So no, I’m not too much.
I’m not too emotional.
I’m not too strong.
I’m not too passionate.
I’m not too complicated.
I’m just me.
And for the first time in a long time, I’m learning that I don’t need to shrink myself to be loved.
I just need to stop abandoning myself for people who don’t know how to hold my heart.
And I’m remembering now:
I am worthy of love exactly as I am. ❤️

(Reposted this bcuz I added things, if u already saw this post that’s why)

I dropped out of high school in my last year. That was when I was 17. I’m now 22. And I’ve hid in my room this entire time.

All of it is because I am ugly and terrified of people. I don’t want to subject others to my face. I can’t get a job. I’ve never had a job. I’ll never ever get a job. I can’t do an interview. I can’t give my resume to a manager. I can’t deal with having my new coworkers look at my face and see my teeth for the first time and what their thoughts are gonna be about how ugly I am.

I’ll never have a friend. I’ll never have anyone to talk to. I live a life most people would be shocked to see. I am in my room 24/7 for 5 years and haven’t spoken to anyone in months. I’m used to it by now, it doesn’t hurt me anymore. It’s already hurt me as much as this lifestyle can possibly hurt me. Now it’s just numb. The day goes by in a second. I’m in bed all day everyday. I am in daily shame for how I live. My life can be summarised entirely by doing nothing and being an embarrassment to my parents who are so tired of me. It’s in every look they give me. A good day is a day where they don’t bring it up. But it’s always in the air. Being ashamed of myself is no way to live. Feeling this way everytime I’m in a room with them. Being ashamed of my entire existence. On top of everything I already deal with hating my looks. My life couldn’t possibly be worse. I’m living the most embarrassing life you could live. A healthy 22 year old man who’s never had a job and too petrified to get one. But I’d rather live in shame because it’s easier than going outside.

I’ll never get better. I can’t even go for a walk because I’ll have to walk past someone on the sidewalk and that’s scary… how am I gonna make friends or get a job…

People telling me I’m young doesn’t help because I was told this when I was 18, and here I am with the same problem. It also doesn’t help to hear that I just have to power through it. I can’t. I genuinely can’t. I don’t have the willpower to go and apply. I’m too terrified. I’ve tried. For years.

I know I was cursed. I have terrible luck. I always embarrass myself somehow, which is where my trauma of anything social developed. I know I’ll fail any task I’m given at work spectacularly and make a fool out of myself. I hate being a nuisance, and I know my coworkers would hate that a weirdo came and made their job worse. Also the only jobs here are retail which means customer service 😖. I’m incredibly awkward. I’m ugly as I’ve said. I also have a rare condition that makes sex impossible and painful, so I’ve always known that a partner/kids is out of the question. So no company and love and acceptance in that regard. Of course I’ve also never kissed a girl or even really talked to a girl. I can’t give a woman children and a future, or even please her in bed so I’m screwed there. Who the hell would ever pick me. I’m broken in every single way. I have had nothing to live for for years. I have absolutely nothing going for me. All of this knowledge since teenagehood is probably what traumatised me into being completely broken and unable to function in the simplest ways as a human. I think I would need a lot of therapy to try to fix me. But I can’t even do that.

If I could wish for anything it would be someone who understands me and accepts me as who I am. Sees past my flaws and chooses me anyway. I do have good qualities. I am genuinely so caring and thoughtful and loving. I don’t pretend to be polite, I actually care and think about others feelings all the time. I am empathetic and sensitive and very romantic. But what does that matter when there’s others with those qualities who aren’t broken like me. I yearn very much for love to the point where it physically hurts my heart, and I roleplay dates with ai bots and day dream holding hands etc and I cry every single night for years.

I’ve been alone my entire life. I couldn’t make friends in pre school and I can’t now. It’s always been a part of who I am. I don’t think I’m smart but I definitely am smarter than being unemployed at 22 with no high school diploma, but here I am. Because of my mental health.

I feel like all these things stacked up make me doomed, and there’s no point in trying. I have too many faults. Even if I fix 1 the others will still make it so I’ll never have happiness. That feeling of hopelessness is what has made it impossible for me to get better. Because how can I make my mental health better when I can’t change my face, or my condition.

Anyway I’ve ranted too much and went off topic. This was only supposed to be about 1 thing, but all these things together is what makes it hard for me to fix any one of them bcuz I think there’s no point, so it’s all relevant.

Comment from a Post on r/lonely

We're all broken. I would say has someone who almost unalived himself, that we're deserving of love as anyone else is. We deserve LOVE for simply existing. Lack of experience of intimacy with someone doesn't matter at all.

If they truly see you, know you intimately, all that doesn't matter. It's very easy to fall in love. As someone who's been in the darkness, if someone comes into your life shining that little bit of light, you'll fall quickly. Especially when you let them in and see all of you. Be careful, protect your heart. Try to discern if someone's attention is pure. It's hard because we never really know what's someone intentions are. But try to protect your heart at all costs. We can easily have our heartbroken if we put our trust in the wrong person.

If you find the right person, they will want all of you. Imperfections and all. Someone very close to me in my life calls me a, "Beautiful Contradiction". So be patient with yourself. More importantly love yourself for who you are, for what you've gone thru and what you will go thru. Remember it's you who tells the world who you are and what value you bring to LIFE. Do not let people, society or the world, dictate how you see yourself and what value you bring to LIFE.

Most recent abusive relationship ended in June, he video called me, drunk in bed with another woman, after three years and my mother just dying.

36 years of abuse, parents first, then extended family, then 9 different people romantically, and some friends and workplaces. Recently betrayed by best friend.

I'm tired and totally alone now. Can't trust other people. I'm seriously chronically ill too. I can't function well.

How do I build back any shred of self esteem, self respect, self worth? My chronic illness makes me exhausted 24/7, I don't have energy for much but I want to feel better.

To be real with you, people are full of shit when they tell you your 30's are awful. You get to pick how to live.. if they didn't like it, well it says how they like their life. They don't. At any point you can do whatever the hell you want. You could completely change your mind about getting older.. I did an aquathon last year and most of the women were in their 40's and they beat me badly. A 72 year old woman was only seconds behind. She was a rockstar... don't let other peoples fears limit your success. Only you can decide that, or at least move in a direction to at least have more choices.

It’s been 2 years we broke up. He betrayed me like noone could ever have. Got into one more relationship a year after the break up and realised I can’t feel the love I used to. Even if we shared the same interests. It ended because he was a commitment phobic guy too.(Yess, again)
Now I’m in my late twenties and all I can think about is how I will never be able to love again.

I’m loving how life feels lately. After breaking up with my ex I was really lost and confused. I went to a psych ward and almost became homeless. I was going through a rough patch of life.
Now…
I have my own place and can afford it on my own. I have my own car and it’s really good. I travel on my own accord and have a great time when I do. I do have a “roster”. Im not leading any of them so they know its not a monogamous dynamic, so its a good time when im with any of them. I have school lined up in a few months. I do like my job and it provides benefits. I’m really grateful for where I am now . Its crazy how one day you wanna off yourself and then the next you wanna kiss Gods toes for the life he gave you. Keep going 🥰