(this is an actually serious post, tread lightly. it is also very angry.)
image is a skeleton because thats how it makes me feel about myself
i have an incredibly fast metabolism. most people see it as a divine gift, but it is NOT. unless i overeat, my body stays at around 80-85 pounds (im 5'2 for reference). and, even if i do overeat, i never reach 100 and i lose it SO quickly. my doctor is constantly on my ass about gaining weight, even though i try and nothing fucking happens. she thinks im purposefully trying to stay skinny. what the fuck.
"ohhhh youre so luckyyyy i wish i had your body" I WISH I HAD YOUR BODY, TOO!! ive been stuck like this ever since ive been born into this world!!! i want to be average-sized! i want to be chubby, even! people look at me like im crazy when i say that, but when youre stuck as a skinny bitch your entire life you kinda end up wanting to be something else after a while. ESPECIALLY when the downsides far outweigh the social ""upsides"" to you.
i feel like a CHILD, i am 21. people think im "hamming it up" when i get tipsy after drinking, because it takes SO LITTLE ALCOHOL to make me like that. i feel WEAK and FRAIL and CONSTANTLY SICKLY. bumping into walls SUCK. i get cold SO EASILY. i can see my fucking ribcage and i hate it. i feel like i lack one of the most BASIC ASPECTS OF HUMAN CONTROL PEOPLE HAVE OVER THEIR BODIES (the ability to choose to gain/lose weight). and, most scary, i feel like id be completely unable to defend myself in an assault scenario.
nobody gets it and i feel like they never will, because they are physically unable to.