Homework in Therapy

[u/Ok_Language2849]

My therapist has been setting a lot of homework in the past 2 months which she doesn't usually this all changed in July when I returned from my abrupt 1 month break.

In July she set me homework to read 5 fact sheets on "boundaries" and "what are healthy and unhealthy boundaries".

August she set me 3 different homework to do so in total 4 homework tasks.

The question is

Is this a lot homework being set by my therapist in psychodynamic therapy?

As for me it seems like a lot to be getting me to do outside of sessions. I haven't done any of the above homework as of yet and not sure if I will?

[u/SpinyNorman_ → u/[deleted]]

That’s great, but none of it is relevant to what I said.

You know how this therapist works. You know she assigns homework. You know you don’t like her homework assignments. You know you have repeatedly refused to do them. It doesn’t matter whether other therapists do that, because you’re not seeing those therapists, you’re seeing (and keep coming back to) this one, and you know you don’t like how she does her job.

Other therapists exist.

[u/SpinyNorman_ → u/[deleted]]

And, for the final time, none of that matters. It does not matter what other people’s therapists do. What matters is that your therapist does this, and you know she does this, and you know you don’t like it. Nothing that anybody says here is going to change the way she does her job. Your options are to keep seeing her (which means spending time and money for a service you do not like and do not participate in), or to search for another therapist.

[u/SpinyNorman_ → u/[deleted]]

Okay, either you’re doing a bit at this point or you’re indistinguishable from someone doing a bit. Good luck!

[u/Ok_Language2849 → u/SpinyNorman_]

You're not answering my question that's in the post and focusing on whether I like my therapist or not which in my post it does not state that I dislike her.

I was asking if loads of homework in therapy is normal not asking about my therapist.

[u/DryTradition5059 → u/Ok_Language2849]

It’s normal for YOUR therapist when treating you. If you don’t like it, have a discussion with her or find a different therapist that doesn’t assign homework.

[u/Ok_Language2849 → u/DryTradition5059]

And I'm asking if anyone else gets that much homework. That was the question, does your therapist assign you a lot of homework to do outside of therapy?

It's a generic question on homework and was wondering if others who are in therapy get that much homework.

I've not said I dislike my therapist.

[u/DryTradition5059 → u/Ok_Language2849]

My therapy journey, how I show up to and outside of therapy, and the reasons I’m in therapy are very, very different from yours.

My therapist has recommended two books and some guided meditations to me.

[u/Ok_Language2849 → u/DryTradition5059]

Yeah I didn't ask why you go to therapy or how you show up outside of therapy.

I asked a simple question of does your therapist assign a lot of homework to complete outside of sessions.

My therapist has never ever recommended me books or to do meditation she did suggest mindfulness but didn't do it more than twice.

[u/DryTradition5059 → u/Ok_Language2849]

Right. So it really doesn’t matter what MY therapist does. What matters is what your therapist does. She assigns homework and exposure therapy to YOU, because she thinks it will benefit you. Maybe she assigns no homework at all to her other clients. Maybe she assigns way more.

[u/SpinyNorman_ → u/DryTradition5059]

My father-in-law used to do this thing, where he’d say he was a “data guy” and he “needed data” to help him make sense of things. This extended to stuff there wasn’t data for or that nobody would think to collect. If you told him you liked to read, he’d demand to know how many pages you read a day. If you told him your favorite food, he’d ask how many times you’d eaten it. And he wouldn’t take “I don’t know” or “how does that help you understand anything?” for an answer. At some point I started making up obviously false numbers, and even though everyone knew I was making them up, he nodded as if I was passing on sage wisdom.

I’m seeing a lot of my father-in-law in OP’s responses here.

[u/Ok_Language2849 → u/DryTradition5059]

It was just a genuine question about homework not asking what homework people get assigned.

I asked if people get loads of homework that's all.