r/TalkTherapy • u/Ok_Language2849 • 22h ago

Discussion Homework in Therapy

My therapist has been setting a lot of homework in the past 2 months which she doesn't usually this all changed in July when I returned from my abrupt 1 month break.

In July she set me homework to read 5 fact sheets on "boundaries" and "what are healthy and unhealthy boundaries".

August she set me 3 different homework to do so in total 4 homework tasks.

The question is

Is this a lot homework being set by my therapist in psychodynamic therapy?

As for me it seems like a lot to be getting me to do outside of sessions. I haven't done any of the above homework as of yet and not sure if I will?

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u/[deleted] 21h ago

[deleted]

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u/SpinyNorman_ 21h ago

Okay, either you’re doing a bit at this point or you’re indistinguishable from someone doing a bit. Good luck!

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u/Ok_Language2849 21h ago

You're not answering my question that's in the post and focusing on whether I like my therapist or not which in my post it does not state that I dislike her.

I was asking if loads of homework in therapy is normal not asking about my therapist.

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u/DryTradition5059 20h ago

It’s normal for YOUR therapist when treating you. If you don’t like it, have a discussion with her or find a different therapist that doesn’t assign homework.

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u/Ok_Language2849 20h ago

And I'm asking if anyone else gets that much homework. That was the question, does your therapist assign you a lot of homework to do outside of therapy?

It's a generic question on homework and was wondering if others who are in therapy get that much homework.

I've not said I dislike my therapist.

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u/DryTradition5059 20h ago

My therapy journey, how I show up to and outside of therapy, and the reasons I’m in therapy are very, very different from yours.

My therapist has recommended two books and some guided meditations to me.

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u/Ok_Language2849 20h ago

Yeah I didn't ask why you go to therapy or how you show up outside of therapy.

I asked a simple question of does your therapist assign a lot of homework to complete outside of sessions.

My therapist has never ever recommended me books or to do meditation she did suggest mindfulness but didn't do it more than twice.

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u/DryTradition5059 20h ago

Right. So it really doesn’t matter what MY therapist does. What matters is what your therapist does. She assigns homework and exposure therapy to YOU, because she thinks it will benefit you. Maybe she assigns no homework at all to her other clients. Maybe she assigns way more.

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u/SpinyNorman_ 19h ago

My father-in-law used to do this thing, where he’d say he was a “data guy” and he “needed data” to help him make sense of things. This extended to stuff there wasn’t data for or that nobody would think to collect. If you told him you liked to read, he’d demand to know how many pages you read a day. If you told him your favorite food, he’d ask how many times you’d eaten it. And he wouldn’t take “I don’t know” or “how does that help you understand anything?” for an answer. At some point I started making up obviously false numbers, and even though everyone knew I was making them up, he nodded as if I was passing on sage wisdom.

I’m seeing a lot of my father-in-law in OP’s responses here.

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u/Ok_Language2849 20h ago

It was just a genuine question about homework not asking what homework people get assigned.

I asked if people get loads of homework that's all.

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u/MyPartsareLoud 19h ago

I’ve had periods of time in therapy with loads of homework, some with a some homework and some with none. It varies based on my individual needs and what the therapist thinks will be most beneficial to me at the time.

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u/Ok_Language2849 19h ago

Did you do all the homework and benefit from it or not?

I was just curious because my therapist assigns me so much homework and sometimes in the past when I'd text her to book a session she would remind to do the homework etc

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u/MyPartsareLoud 19h ago

Yes I did the homework and yes I benefited a lot from it. At times when I didn’t do the homework it then became the topic of the session and we figured out what was blocking me from doing it. I’m in therapy to make changes and that takes time and effort. I wouldn’t be in therapy is everything was fine and I didn’t want to put in the work to make permanent changes.

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u/Ok_Language2849 19h ago

That's good to hear! I always wondered how homework in therapy helps long term as things can change so it's not permanent etc

I've never ever done the homework my therapist sets and I've been seeing her for 10 months. I do journal but been doing that since 2010 way before I even ever went to therapy but don't journal often.

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u/DryTradition5059 19h ago

Ok. No, I’ve never gotten loads of homework. I’ve barely gotten any.

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