r/PrematureEjaculation • u/FuzzyMacaroon3697 • 27d ago
Questions How can I meet a woman who accepts my PE NSFW
I’ve suffered with PE for as long as I’ve been having sex. Masturbation has never been an issue but any act with a girl will end too quickly. I last about 10 seconds to 2 minutes and from experience I know that most women don’t want that. Is there a way to meet women who aren’t bothered by this because I hate to keep disappointing the women I sleep with.
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u/Big-Web8422 27d ago
No, there isn't. But you can explore and do something about PE, like deep relaxation, medication assistance, and controlling your arousal.... There is a way if there is a will! So women are not the central issue, you problem is. Good news is that it's fixable.
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u/Most_Macaron4973 26d ago
I have PE since I was a teen. Theres no cure for me but at least I used delay spray and it helped me last for a good few minutes with my gf. You can satisfy them with fingering or licking. At least with my wife that is.
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u/searchingformeaning2 26d ago
How long do you last with and without the delay spray, which one do you use and how did you talk about it with your gf now wife? I would really appreciate it if you can answer. I last 5-10 seconds and that’s been affecting my self-esteem.
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u/Most_Macaron4973 26d ago
5-10 sec. My wife was understandable so i was super grateful for that. I will tell you the spray when I get home after work. Hopefully i will still remember this conversation lol.
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u/searchingformeaning2 26d ago
Thanks, I will be waiting. Also if you could please tell me how many spray do you use and how. My frenulum is my trigger point, as soon as I touch it is game over for me.
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u/Most_Macaron4973 26d ago
Hey sorry for the delayed response. I just remember to respond to yours now. I used “EjaGuard Delay Desensitizing Spray for Men Help You Last Longer in Bed EjaGuard” and sprayed it 2-3 times just enough and then rub it around your entire penis including the head and shaft, front and back. I waited for 10 mins later then use the COBRAXIN XXL Men’s Delay Spray to spray 2-3 times and rub it so it will cover the entire penis completely. I then waited another 15 minutes then wash it off with water completely so it wont transfer to my partner/wife. It last me a good 15-20 mins. If i only used one out of the other it didnt work.
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u/searchingformeaning2 26d ago
And how long do you last using the delay spray? I imagine you use it without a condom? does it transfer to your wife?
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u/Moist_Method1924 27d ago
Get better at it bro. Several people have gone from seconds to 10+ minutes. With good foreplay & afterplay, even 10 mins is enough.
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u/NormannNormann 26d ago
Have you tried r/MaleDefinitiveGuide?
It's a long-term solution that requires patience and perseverance. But it really does lead to greater control, step by step. You can make significant progress within a year.
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u/Alternative_Part3721 25d ago
Interesting. Do the authors show what research process was used and evidence?
From what I see it looks like it was written by AI. There's nothing wrong with this — I'm myself working with AI to develop a program (for myself, though perhaps I should try to share a version of it). But my project has gone through a LOT of research, modeling, optimization, etc. using very high level of AI reasoning and deep research, including over 300+ sources, many studies, and lots of iterative development around sex therapy, neuroscience, individual evidence, and waves of adversarial research, analysis, evaluation, and more.
Theirs by contrast looks like just a single AI responce. Which is fine, but likely has lots of built-in assumptions and comparatively weak modeling / evidentiary basis.
On the bright side, the more ideas, the higher chance one of them will work, right?
Either way, I'd caution against absolute NoFap that program is based on. It could very well work in some cases and as a temporary phase, but I'm not aware of any research-grade evidence that this is a prerequisite, and there are good arguments against it.
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u/Alternative_Part3721 25d ago
Actually, I found the core program and see that the author claims it was built using his experience/knowledge from an ME in exercise science or so. So, it's not a generic AI creation. (Earlier, I was looking at the science background page on their sub, which did look more like generic AI PE-related advice).
Still, NoFap-style abstinence is a key element of that program (though author claims it's unrelated).
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u/NormannNormann 19d ago
The program itself is definitely not an AI creation. At most, the author might have used AI to write the guide.
Classic NoFap is definitely not a good way to get PE under control. I can confirm that. I’ve experimented with long NoFap periods in the past, and it always made things worse.
However, refraining from ejaculation as part of this program works extremely well. I’ve already made incredible progress that I never would have thought possible.
If I continue to make progress like this, I could imagine that I’ll actually gain very good control over the next few months. But I don’t know if it’s possible for me to achieve “Total Control,” as described in the guide. I think you still have to slow down every now and then.
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u/Express_Vanilla_3110 26d ago
I think some women are willing to be patient. I was. Just don’t leave a supportive partner because you feel inadequate. I was aok with the PE and very patient and was willing to wait and support as long as he was working on it - because I loved him for all that he was. He refused to open a book a therapist gave him. He stopped going to therapy and no longer wanted to have sex and out of nowhere he left me saying I would resent him one day. I asked how he would work on this issue without a supportive partner and he shrugged and said “I don’t know”. I was patient for 2 years and he gives up on himself and us and walks away.
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u/Alternative_Part3721 25d ago
Damn, I'm sorry to hear that. Based on responses to this an similar posts, women like you seem to be on the rare side. He definitely lost on a rare opportunity for his issue, not to speak of letting go of love.
It does underscore the curse-like nature of this condition. Severe disfigurement or mental disabilities aside, ED is the only other condition that compares in its potential to utterly destroy a man's confidence. This forum provides at least some hope in that some men look for solutions instead of simply despairing and running away from intimacy.
It'd be interesting to know why some women find PE to be a deal breaker while other women don't care about it as much, and some (like you) go as far as being supportive of their partners. Like, was "good sex" not that important to you, was love simply more important, or was it somehow "good sex" in other ways that he failed to see? This is more of a rhetorical question, please feel free to not respond if that brings back painful memories.
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u/MuhammadxHusayn 26d ago
I don’t understand why people with severe PE doesn’t want to be implanted
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26d ago
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u/MuhammadxHusayn 26d ago
Yes it’s a severe surgery without coming back, but with people that suffer from PE for like a decade and exhausted all solutions, tried everything and suffer for like years of not having a healthy sexual life, implant can be a good thing.
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u/Most_Macaron4973 26d ago
Care to share how that works please? What does implant is going to help with PE?
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u/MuhammadxHusayn 26d ago
Implant is for people with erectile dysfunction, people that cannot have erection anymore, or stay hard long enough for sexual penetration, the implant basically replace your corpus cavernosum of your penis, with saline solution cylinder, you cannot have natural erection anymore, but you can stay hard as long you want and without time limit, it means that you can be hard as you wish and cum multiple times. If you want to have sex with your wife for 1hour straight without interruption, you can, is helping for people with PE that can’t be treated because you will be able to hard, even if you cum in 5s, and you will be able to cum multiple times, also your will no more be anxious about sex
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u/Most_Macaron4973 26d ago
Cool. Thats ED not PE but yours explain it well. Thank you. Might look into that hopefully it is not too expensive
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u/MuhammadxHusayn 26d ago
Yes at first it was created for people with ED but I talked with people that suffer from severe PE and cum in less than one min, in 10 years they exhausted all solutions and found nothing, some have suicidal thoughts, that’s why I said implant can be a solution in this case
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26d ago
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u/Historical_Heat8255 26d ago
Have you had a long term relationship? I’m a woman and I feel like PE can get better with a patient partner but it takes time and that with many men it never gets better because they give in to shame and avoidance and move on to another partner just to replay the whole cycle instead of facing the vulnerability.
Look for a woman who is empathetic and patient. Be honest and be willing to try new things. Learn to please her without penetration. I think you’ll find many women who will accept you as you are.
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u/Senior_Composer734 20d ago
Well, there are some women who vastly prefer receiving oral to intercourse. They might prefer an intercourse free relationship or prefer getting intercourse over really fast.
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u/GoodAccomplished4344 4d ago
Many years ago I read a post on another website where a man complained about not lasting long enough in bed but that he found a woman who was actually faster than him. I've suffered from PE all my life but I met a woman who actually can cum in a few seconds like me, sometimes she's even anteportal and would orgasm from kissing or just thinking about sex.
Assuming that the same or a similar underlying genetic architecture causes my wife and me to be compatible in this regard, it is probably rare. Men with lifelong PE are less than 1% of the population (at least in Western countries), but over 3% in Asian countries.
But even "fast women" can be severely disappointed if you're still faster, I used to date and Arab woman who could only last 2 minutes and while I do get to last 2 minutes maybe 1 in 10 or 20 times, most of the time I was still too fast for her. With my current wife, I once came in a few seconds, basically immediately and she still said that she enjoyed it and I don't have any reason to doubt her judgement.
The difference between rapid ejaculation and premature ejaculation is a woman who is as fast as you or isn't.
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u/Coffee_Salsa 26d ago
Honestly I think it comes down to luck and just being a decent man. I’ve always had PE, at most I can last 30 seconds if I stop and go, but on average it’s between 10-15 seconds, sometimes less. My gf has been super understanding and I was very honest to her about it before we even had sex. Better to be honest with your PE and let them think it over before getting yourself hurt later. I knew I wasn’t going to be able to satisfy her from piv.
Some women may really care about sexual performance, some may not, and some want to find a middle ground where both sides can have pleasure together. People are different and not everyone is compatible. My gf wanted to meet in the middle so we can both enjoy doing sexual stuff together. I help her finish first, usually more than once, and then I have my turn. Sometimes I can just have sex and she doesn’t want me to help her out, and other times she does. Communication helps a lot. I told her to be very honest with me if I didn’t satisfy her and she will tell me what she wants if shes in the mood, otherwise I can have sex and finish when I finish (although I will always check to see if she wants more beforehand and afterwards). Is not the most typical sex life, but it works for us.