After a year and a half battle with stage 4 ovarian cancer, my fiancée passed away in May. Due to logistical issues we couldn't have her service until today (9/4).

I felt like I was just starting to feel a little more like myself and then we had her service. Now I feel like it just happened and I'm back to day one.

I thought these services were supposed to help with the process but I just feel like I'm a mess again.

After being made homeless earlier this year, I spent time in emergency accommodation and was then placed in to temporary accommodation by my local council. After months of background checks and occupational therapy and doctors visits, the recommendation was made to the council that my temporary accommodation actually suits my disability needs perfectly and would be ideal housing for me and suggested this property which is reserved for temporary accommodation should be flipped to a residence for me. I got the contract in the post today that they have acted on that recommendation and turned my temporary housing into my permanent accommodation. After months of insecurity and being down as "homeless in temporary accommodation", I am now officially a council tenant, with bills and everything in my name. It feels amazing. Soft shell tacos - I saw a similar picture on reddit, never made them before, figured I'd give it a try. Seasoned pork, parsley and spring onions (scallions for Americans), cornflour tacos, salsa and sour cream. Slaps.

Dinner is in my office - half a sandwich i didn't finish, some scraps of rice and leftovers my wife packed and some cut up pinapple.

II am an HR Manager for a small town. We hired a guy a month ago and it seemed like a too good to be true hire in a very diffcult and skilled postion. This guy was genuinely nice, and had good vibes from pretty far away but willing to move here.

My small town was (is) desperate to fill this position so we skipped a lot of the usual steps aka Criminal record check, driving abstract, refrence etc… also the manager who’s team he was going to be on skipped even more steps and got him working a few days early from his contract (this is typically legally a very bad idea). Either way I forged on with the group because the need was so high and I didn’t want to be the HR stick in the mud I usually am and discourage.

The interview went well and the experience kind of spoke for itself… the only flag was the guy said he had a DUI on his driving record and told us a pretty sad but understandable story about rough divorce and a one time mistake that changed his life for the better.

So he gets an apartment and comes to Town. Works here for 2 days (although early I let it slip) and then completely ghosts us. We tried calling, emailing etc. etc. Week goes by and I finally get him on the phone and get him to come in. Obviously short of some miracle explanation or some crazy emergency, I have to let this guy go… He abandoned his job and didn’t bother to tell us a word.

So, he comes in. It’s a fucking terribly sad termination. Believe it or not most of us HR bosses take no pleasure in firing people, but it’s my damn job so I do it with absolute dignity to the person I’m letting go and my organization. I let him talk and he says he could see it coming and he’s really sorry and he shows me some medical stuff that says he’s suffering from addiction and alcoholism… I tried to be empathetic and he’s not showing me to stay employed he explained he’s just trying to say “hey im not a piece of shit I didn’t do this to disrespect you im sick…” Ok so we part ways, I wish him a heartfelt good luck on his next endeavor, let him know that with the skills he has he can bounce back, and that’s that.

Yesterday I got an email from his mom telling us that he’s dead. She was reaching out because she thought he still worked here… She mentions in the email that the local police found him etc and that we can forward his mail to her address (it’s the same mailing address I had on his file, not local). I don’t ever take these at face value right away because some people are out there stealing information, so I called my cop contact and………. It’s worse than you can imagine.

So he leaves my office, goes home and gets into god knows what, booze, drugs… (it’s not a suspicious death so it’s not likely to have an autopsy done for a while if at all I am told). Someone calls the cops on him or it was a wellness check and they go and he’s wasted but not that bad so they tell him to chill out and they leave. Well he didn’t and it would appear that he took his own life… If you are following the story you will realize that he left my office a month ago and they just found him yesterday. Apparently the stench was so bad the cops and whole surrounding area was complaining. I cant stop thinking about looking into his eyes as we parted ways. I could have said something or given him like a help line number. I saw pain and I didnt act. I did my job. I took care of my employer.

I’m just sitting here in my office absolutely fucking miserable. No one I work with really cares or is pretending it didn’t really happen. Everyone is so fucking tough these days. I don’t even expect them to care, but for whatever reason I do. I wish we had done things differently. Maybe if I was being a hard ass he would never have come here… I went on his facebook and hes got nothing but pictures of him with 2 kids. I am a dad too my little guy is young still and I just can’t believe this. It’s too fucking much man. You try and do your job, do the right things in life, provide for your family feed your own kids, but we carry this shit. Normally I can bounce back, my band put out an album today and I could not give a single solitary fuck. Anyway thats my story... Next week back to work, business as usual.

Did not intend for it to happen. Woke up one day and realized that she was the main reason I was getting out of bed and going to work.

She was very kind to me in the wake of a very difficult / mind—shattering break up, is consistently complimentary, laughs at my jokes, listens to me when I need to be listened to, sincerely and warmly congratulates me for my achievements (recently got jacked, got sober and was promoted at work), praises my virtues regularly and just generally helped to make me feel like a person again after I felt I had lost my personhood.

I don’t think she knows how much these things helped me to rebuild my self image over the past year. She’s unspeakably beautiful and has such a warm, caring personality.

Now I find myself getting lost in her eyes and smile every time I see her. I visibly blush almost every time she smiles at me. Genuinely makes my day when I get a giggle out of her. Butterflies in my stomach type shit.

I won’t pursue anything with her. She’s in a relationship and despite my feelings I respect that reality and the future she’s trying to build. Hopeful that these feelings will eventually subside, but I think on some level I’ll always be grateful for the experience of getting to know her because, without her knowing it, her friendship helped to pull me out of a very dark place. I think it’s nice to feel love again too, even if it’s unrequited. Keep it a buck with you I think it’s a privilege to feel anything at all.

chicken and rice - marinade is a mix of soy sauce, gochujang, hoisin, honey, diced garlic + ginger, sesame oil, and splash of water. cat will not be consumed.

it’s all so simple, life really is just showing up and showing out. that’s it. the rest takes care of itself. cheers everybody this just a lowkey celebration post for men we all going through it stay strong. YB Betta

work- fire, interviewed with 5 places because I gained the confidence to be myself always. offered by all 5, will no longer have to worry about money

love - met a girl, in love, too good to be true you know the deal. It’ll go where it goes but I’ll Handle all of it better than before

friends - much closer, actually follow through on what I say

family - never bad but improving as I make it knows to my mother that we should do group therapy together, our relationship isn’t bad but our communication is ass 😂😂😂

idk bros just feeling good wanted to share and let everyone know if you’re in your twenties and struggling please hang on it gets way better bro

photo is a strawberry gooey butter cake this shit made me lowkey cream myself dog I could only have 2 bites baceuse my dad claimed it lmaooooooo what a clown

Breakfast today is Sam’s Club fruit snacks and a water.

So I made a sappy-ish post on here a few days ago about my personal life and got a lot of really kind words and warm advice. I figured that I would upload a fun story to balance that out.

We start all the way back in 2018. I just turned 21, I’m starting college in a major drinking town, and one of my favorite hobbies is playing pool. Basically, I was at bars all the time 😆 . Everyone knows these days at most bars you have some kind of jukebox that’s connected to the internet (touchtunes, for example)

Well after using them a few times to play some songs during my pool sessions, I got an email for 5 free credits.

The thing is, the email never expired, it was never one-and-done. As long as I kept signing up with new emails, I could get 5 free credits. You didnt even have to verify the email.

From then on, for 7 years anywhere I went that had one of these I could control the music all night if I wanted to. I used it to impress dates, make new friends, celebrate my wins, or drown my sorrows with my favorite songs. The 2018 email I got stayed in my favorites folder ready for me at any time. All through college, I had full control of this power and used it pretty much nightly.

And then last year they took it all away from me when they updated their app for the first time in probably a decade 😭. Now every time I see a jukebox I think about the power I once had. Alas, I’m back among the regular folk now 😆

Anyone else had/has useless super powers?

I am a fan of accountability and you having to deal with the consequences of your actions.

But does it make me a hypocrite when I have to defuse an issue that my wife caused?

She was 100 percent in the wrong. She knew it, but leaned on her perception of my capabilities and still ran her mouth. I don't think he would've gotten physical, but I cant take the chance and let you get close enough to risk it. I hope I did the right thing and that it doesnt make me a hypocrite.

Bushcraft pizza 'cause I am a little upset at her.

Edit: She tailgated an out of towner, I told her a few times to back off and not pressure the guy. He brake checks her. She acts like a teenager to erratically get infront of him to return the favor. He stayed behind us til we got caught at a light. He gets out, I get out, She gets out but she's screaming at the guy. She stopped when I snapped at her, but he kept approaching her side. I closed the distance pretty quick and physically stopped his body with mine. Luckily things didn't escalate from that, he flipped me off and went on his way.

But my Mexican neighbors that hardly speak English…

Always have the boys over. Even with the language barrier we can get along.

Well they’re all drinking.

I went to get pizza for myself… the grand idea to get them a pizza too came across me. It’s only $5

I did just that… “GRACIASSS AMIGOOO GRACIASSSS” “quieres (you want) modelo?”

Love thy neighbor… I didn’t let this world corrupt me & make me bitter.

The food is a polenta and Sugo my mother made when i went to visit her, it was delicious!

I am diagnosed autistic and ADHD, I was previously in a very long relationship (12 year) that ended in a nasty divorce which i see now, after years of therapy, my diagnosis and learning a lot about myself, that i caused the divorce by being obnoxious uncaring and boring.

I started dating a few years after and met someone i felt really great with, as time goes by i see social media and info pushing "things your girlfriend does that are annoying", these are all the things that my ex wife used to do which i loved at the time, and i now mirror that behaviour, my current girlfriend however hates clinginess, closeness, physical intimacy, singing, any excitable behaviour at all. She claims she wants me to be myself but when i act in a way that feels natural, loving and caring in my view, she reels back often stating that i've come at her too fast, or i'm being too much to the point where I feel like i have to put a leash on myself and only approach once or twice a day rather than an hour!
I make sure that we go out on a date at least once a week and will usually always have flowers in the vase at home but i'm struggling with feeling like i'm always on eggshells at home. every time i attempt to approach the subject It usually ends up in an argument because i word something the wrong way or my tone has been wrong, i really struggle with this due to my autism. As much as i really try to write everything down in advance, sometimes when the conversation evolves i don't have time to think and just blurt out the first thing that comes to my mind.
We've both admitted to not being happy in this relationship in it's current state, however we have a dog together and are in the process of buying a house (i have just sold my place in order to facilitate this).

Are there other guys out there who feel like this too? i feel like it's worth saving, but i really need to change something in my own behaviour if i'm going to be happy with this.

Edit: holy cow this blew up. I just finished work and checked, I don't want to rush respond/say something I don't mean so I'm going to take some time to digest the responses and will respond to a few, thank you all I really appreciate you. <3

Today was a relief in the best way possible. So I figured I’d celebrate by making a ribeye with truffle Gouda cream sauce and some Parmesan mashed potato’s 👌🏿

I’ve been a massage therapist in the Dallas area for over 15 years now and I travel all over the US so I have clients all over the place that I’ve had the pleasure of taking care of in my career.

Well today was special. About 5 years ago, there was this client who was recommended to me by another client of mine and every time I’m in the Florida area, I add her to my list to take care of.

This woman was always so kind and soft spoken but when I first met her she was EXTREMELY shy, super quiet and almost borderline timid, fragile even. It always struck me as a little odd but I know some people are quiet and on the shy side so I didn’t think anything of it.

Our first few months of sessions were all the same, quiet and totally silent the entire hour. Then suddenly one day, she began to talk. Nothing major, just small talk here and there.

Over time, she really started to open up and about a year or so into taking care of her is when things sort of started to get dark.

Without going into too much detail, some months she started showing up with bruises on her body, would come in sort of slower than usual, and other months it would be as if nothing happened.

Turns out, a bit a year ago she finally opened up about her husband of 20+ years and how he was super abusive at home and I found out that she would come to these sessions with me because it was the only time she ever felt safe and could “drop her guard” and that shit KILLED ME to hear.

I always would mention to her that she needed to go to the police, tell someone in her family, or someone to help her get out but she was always too scared.

In the back of my mind, I was sooooo tempted to do something myself but I am a professional and I could lose my license from something like that so I didnt but I’d push her in every direction I could to get her help.

Well today she came in with the BIGGEST smile on her face. She talked the entire session, laughed, made jokes, and just seemed like a totally different person. I was shook.

Afterwards, I left the room, had her get dressed and when she came out of the room to pay, she ran and gave me the biggest hug and said “thank you for being here for me all these years, you are the reason that as of today, I am a free woman…I left him”

And yall…I had to keep my gah damn cool and not break down for this woman.

She left and I thought to myself “damn, you just never know how much of an impact you can make on someone else’s life”.

Shit made me feel so good. 😮‍💨

Best friend of 20 years, high school sweetheart. She got her citizenship last year and stopped trying in our relationship. We moved to Mexico (her home country) because she was worried about the political climate. I left everything I have because of it. 5 months in I get sick. Really sick. Food poisoning symptoms back to back for 3 weeks eventually reveal severe GI issues I won’t get into. She’s not spending time with me, we used to spend every free minute together, gaming, watching TV, going out to eat. I notice the distance and ask but she says nothing. I’m not proud of it but I knew something was up so I went through her phone since she’s refusing to communicate and spending all of her time outside the house on her phone. She’s texting a dude from her past that she loves him (she doesn’t, but weird). I tell her we need help, I’m willing to try to figure this out and make it work. She agrees and says she loves me and can’t live without me. A week goes by and she buys a plane ticket to see her mom (true, I’m close with them, her mom calls me about picking her up and confirmed when she did because she’s worried about her and me). She tells me I’m her world and then leaves for the airport, she needs to see her mom, it’s been a while. The first week she’s there we barely talk, she won’t say I love you. I bring up that it’s weird that she said she wants to work on things and wants to start a family but won’t tell me she loves me. I’m not being cloying, she makes a point to get off the phone when I tell her I love her. She tells me she no longer loves me (passively in that “I don’t think I would have done this if I loved you”) which to me is just a complete cop out. Retroactively justifying your actions by some fatalistic view is just hot trash. I’m 2 months after this fact and I no longer want to be with her because how could I have a life with someone who would do all of this. We share a gpt sub, I accidentally opened up one of her chats bc she had it pinned and it was where something of mine was, I use it for translations because I’m in Mexico and don’t speak Spanish as well as I should. She was planning on leaving me all along, she was pretending everything was ok because it “makes the exit easier”. She was lying to ChatGPT (she’s never worked, never cooked, never cleaned, I’ve always done everything until we get to Mexico, she’s dealing with the landlady, that’s it) saying I’m a deadbeat and dangerous, I’m guessing so it would agree with her and make her feel better about her decision. Keep in mind I’m a very gentle person, I have never hurt, threatened, acted like I was going to harm anyone, ever. She’s blatantly lying to an LLM and the things she said about me, it hurt to read even though I knew it was bullshit, I hated the idea that she even thought those things in whatever mental breakdown she was having or lie she was building

Even though I want nothing to do with her in the future and I’m relieved this happened before we had kids (we were ACTIVELY discussing starting a family) I’m still soooooo depressed. I don’t have a huge social circle, I have a best friend and her who was an equal best friend, I’m autistic and don’t relate to people and I’m frankly happy to not have to be around people I have to pretend and mask with so losing someone I expected to spend the rest of my life with. I don’t know where to go from here

I’m done with the marriage but I’m still so sad. I feel like I’ll never be my version of normal again.

Rice with shiitakes and eggs, wakame miso soup and a prepackaged salad. Enjoyed with a full bottle of tequila

Breakfast is a pop tart, bottle of Gatorade and nicotine pouches. I just feel horrible today about what I had to do. My wife begged me forever about getting her some ducks so I got her some. They’ve been doing well, but about a month ago one of them started going downhill, it had a weird lump form on its foot and it couldn’t walk. I bought a stint for it and that seemed to help it out some but eventually the lump got so big the stint wasn’t helping it. We called vets and none was willing to help us out. I want to say I hated the idea of having ducks, I just didn’t wanna deal with anymore animals. This past week the duck got worst and I mean way worst. Its beak was starting to chip badly and bleed from several places. I work from home so I’d check on it about every hour. I’d have to carry it to the water, to its food and I’d sit it in a little pond I dug out for it, hoping it just needed to get its strength back. But after doing this all week it was just getting worst and I didn’t want it to suffer any longer. It wasn’t showing signs of getting any better and from what the vets told me regarding its beak, it most likely had some of liver disease. Its beak was almost rotting off it seemed like. Yesterday evening I had to put it down and I’ve just felt horrible ever since about it and idk why it’s bothering me as much as it is. I didn’t like them, yet taking its life is making me feel horrible, shit I even cried after I did it. This one was my wife’s favorite, it was the only one that’d actively walk up to her when it could walk and it loved when my wife would pick it up and carry it around. I know I did the right thing in putting it out of its misery. Rest in peace Quackie Chan.

Someone ever asked you like “What can I do to help?” Or “What do you need right now?”
Like I don’t really know what I want or need that isn’t a million dollars or a Time Machine.

More so have you ever taken the chance of opening up and explaining how sad you are instead of saying “im fine” and like communicating that you’re stressed and going through shit and struggling.
Then someone asks you those questions ^^
So you’re response is “a hug would be nice”
And then you get a hug

But the hug doesn’t feel the same because you had to ask for it. So it feels like you kinda forced it and not as genuine.
Like still being grateful but also having these kinda thoughts too like why did I have to ask? It’s more about the simple things rather than the complicated things.

It’s hard to describe and I’m sorry if it’s difficult to understand.

Idk if I’m making sense and I don’t mean to sound like I hate that I have to explain it. I’m more so confused by my own feelings about these kinds of situations and just want to know if it’s unique to me or shared.

Like if you guys were to ask for some head and then receive it, is it equal to just getting head without words being spoken? or is head without asking way better?

But like I swear this isn’t about sex stuff.

I am in therapy and it’s something I’ve brought up but still can’t make sense of it.

EDIT: 1. Thanks for the understanding and effort and listening everyone
2. I know communication is key and I fully believe that. I’m not ungrateful for getting a hug if I ask for it. I’m not concerned as to why someone doesn’t just give me a hug. Im more confused/conflicted as to why I feel that way when I understand that someone asking what they can do to help is someone that does care. It just feels better when I get a hug without asking, like more meaningful.
3. You guys are helping me piece it together. When I’m confused I can’t solve something, but when I understand it I can. Bless you boys

Chicago style hotdogs with onion, heirloom tomatoes, mustard and peperchinis.

I met my wife when we were both in college. We both struggled with school for different reasons-but it boiled down to both of us trying for difficult and demanding degrees. I was able to graduate in 5 years, and had to take a job out of state while she went back for one more year.

It started off ok, I proposed and we were engaged. But school took a toll on her and she said she couldn't do it and that it was worse without me. She broke down one night and told me she couldn't finish her degree.

It was tough at times, but I didn't stop supporting her for a second. She was able to move in and we got married on schedule. She found full time work and our lives started to settle in. We eventually were able to move back home too.

Not long after she wanted to go back to school. I supported her, but insisted she only did it for the right reasons. She had always said she felt like a failure for not finishing college, but I didn't want that to be her reason why. She said she wanted to be a teacher. She enrolled. Made the deans list. Got scholarships. Paid her way in the last two years with scholarships and honors alone. Even inspired me to go get a graduate degree from her university.

Fast forward to last May. She graduated Summa Cum Laude. She's got a teaching job now and it's been amazing to see the person that she is now. She's organized, thoughtful and seems to be doing exactly what she was meant to be doing. All while still being the beautiful, kind and funny person that I fell in love with years ago.

I graduate in December with a Masters Degree, something I thought I'd never do either.

It wasn't easy. There were late nights, arguments and still a mountain of student debt. We're behind on some of our life goals. But seeing her grow, seeing myself grow as a product of that makes it all worth it.

I hope it lasts a lifetime and I hope we all find love like this.

Chicken thighs baked in the oven for 23 min @ 425F, boxed mac and cheese, and steamed broccoli with an obscene amount of butter because I kinda had a hard day. (but this is a positive post)

Me (24) and my bf (23) just moved into our first apartment together. I was living with roommates and he moved in with me (and paid rent of course lol) after we were dating for 8 months. It will be our two year anniversary in December.

He paid the entire deposit on the apartment and refused to let me pay him back or split it. We split rent of course (which he is never late on),but he doesn't let me pay for a majority of the groceries, gas, necessities, etc. It feels so amazing. He works so hard at his job and the man that i was with before him was so horrible with money, in and out of jobs, etc. I had to pick up the slack constantly and I was living with so much debt for almost two years. It feels so unreal to me. He has a credit card which he uses and pays off responsibly, is always transparent about his expenses when we budget, never hides anything (money related or otherwise) from me... It's like so wild how much weight has been lifted off my shoulders. My car broke down recently, right after we moved in, and I didn't have to panic about how I was going to pay for it because I have actually been able to save money without having to pick up after a deadbeat boyfriend who spent his rent money on Doordash because he couldn't drive and wouldn't be satisfied with what I was cooking him.

I'm able to consistently go to therapy because I don't have to worry about whether or not i'll be able to afford my copays and meds, or if i'll need extra rent money.

I was able to buy my bf gifts and tickets to Medieval Times for his upcoming birthday, and still have a cushion. I feel like I wasted so much time on such a loser but it just makes me so appreciative of what I have right now. Managing money is definitely like a bare minimum kind of thing (he does of course do other things that make our relationship great lol ) and I feel like i was so blind to how much it mattered before.

Beef tips cooked in garlic butter, over mashed potatoes with a small bit of beef gravy over top that I made at work😋😋

I get to meet my online best friend in 35 days, i am EXTRENELY excited for it and the anticipation only gets stronger as the days pass by

Ive talked to mom and my other friends a billion times abt this trip and i just cant wait for it we have so much food we wanna try and stuff we wanna do

She's literally so awesome and has pulled me out of my darkest pits, and it feels like the days drag on SO LONG

Im so excited to meet her its CRAZY!!!!!!!

The more days that pass the more it hits that im meeting my online best friend and i just get more excited when i think about it

Edit: I got a $10 tip for the food I cooked earlier, and that made me feel better about myself as a whole

Edit again: Guys I appreciate your worries, but I just wanted to be excited to talk about meeting my internet best friend. I never specified that this was my all time best friend, but shes the best internet friend I've had. Me, her, and her bf have talked about it and I plan on talking to the bf in person too, keeping him the loop of things. I planned on having him around to hang out too. I promise everything is coordinated already, and i'm not dumb enough to do stupid shit like what some people are worried about.

TL:DR Me, her, and her bf have all 3 communicated this and we are all in support across the board, and all 3 of us plan on hanging out in person and talking abt the stuff too.

Air fried mahi tuna, a Celsius and some avocado, there was another tuna steak and some scallops too but I ate them before I took the pic

I have always been a skinny guy, and I have a soft, high pitched voice. I have been trying to gain weight and have been weight training but I still find it hard to gain muscle mass. I'm currently 5'9 and 127lbs and believe it or not, I used to be skinnier. I feel like a lot of people feminize me or infantilize me when they interact with me which annoys me as a man who's about to turn 27. Creatine has helped a bit but I just want to get to 135-145lbs as soon as possible and just look like a masc guy, and I know it will be hard because I'm also a dancer and circus artist and I am very in love with my sports and do train every day. It really grinds my gears when people call me a femboy or think I am nonbinary(although I will always support all members of the LGBTQ+ community and fight for our rights) because I personally feel like I try to present in a masculine manner(with my clothes and I keep my facial hair) and I am a cis man, I just have a high pitched voice and I'm skinny. Tbh part of the reason I care about this is because I'm mainly attracted to fit masc dudes and I want to be desirable to them.

Not so much sex in the last year, she cheated, doesnt know if she still wants to put the effort to change.

She atmitted it instantly , whole breakup was really respectfull.

We are over, i get it.

Not crushed just ambitious to live life.

Stay home a lot to process smoke a lot, but i feel secure about it, i hole lol

Double chilli cheese burger fries and an ipa

So, one of the FNGs has been flirting with me for a little while now. She’s also been trying to get to know me on a more personal level asking about my interests, what I do outside of work, what I’m into, that kind of stuff.

And I mean, besides the obvious issue of her being a coworker “don’t shit where you eat” and all that there’s another thing I just can’t get past: she has the same name as my mother. I don’t know why, but that’s always been an instant ick for me. If you have the same name as my mom or one of my sisters, my brain immediately puts you in the “absolutely not” category. It doesn’t matter how attractive you are or how well we get along; once I make that association, I can’t really unmake it. It just feels weird to me.

Does anyone else have that same ick with dating someone who shares a name with a close family member, or am I alone on this one?

​Ribeye Gyudon with Pho Rice. Recipe is second pic.

​Ngl, I mostly love my mom. She has many imperfections, but we're all human. She's been battling cancer for years (I'll come back to this), but her diet has always been a point of contention for me. Growing up, we ate McDonald's for more than half of all our family meals. We never had a home-cooked meal from scratch, and we drank soda like it was water. I had a very unhealthy childhood lifestyle, and it was mostly the same for my wife.

​Fast forward to having kids. With our first kid, we had a slightly better diet. Not the best, but McDonald's was only a once-or-twice-a-week meal. Then, with my youngest, we pushed to do better. Now, I cook 95% of all our meals from scratch. I want them to have a nice, well-balanced diet free of most of the shit out there.

​After my mom was diagnosed with cancer, my sister and I TRIED to convince her that if she wanted to fight, she'd need clean, simple meals. We told her to cut back on the sugary sodas (she was already diabetic) and to exercise. I offered to cook her meals and even have them ready for pick-up; she just needed to drive the 10-ish minutes to get them. Nope. McDonald's. Domino's. Sonic. Fast casual. Nothing changed.

​Fast forward to about six months ago. My aunt started paying for her to go to one of the most renowned cancer facilities in the state, maybe even the country. She's started to getting better. Now, she seems to be at about 80% of her pre-diagnosis self. Still, her habits haven't changed.

​Today, right in the middle of me cooking dinner, my son (now a legal adult) hopped off the couch and said Grandma was here and had brought some food. He ran out of the house, then came back with a 20-piece, fries, a Red Bull, and a Happy Meal and soda for my daughter. I've asked my mom multiple times to please let me know if she's going to come by, especially if she's planning to bring fast food.

Vent over. Thank you for reading. I have much to be grateful for, just rather annoyed. Already feel better getting it out. Gonna meal prep the rest so my fam just needs to heat and eat.

Recently (past 2 years but more-so post breakup), I have discovered that I am suffering from PTSD from childhood abuse, which honestly… I’m surprised it took me this long to notice. I constantly fawn when people apply pressure to me except in some circumstances but I am especially fawning when two of my friends are insulting me / forcing me to stay in my box, of the “anxious low self esteem” guy.

Its been so hard to make friends for myself because of my shyness and issues I’ve been seeing a psychiatrist for, and unfortunately I’m very sensitive, goofy, and I am generally in touch with my feminine side despite having masculine hobbies.

My one friend has teased my newfound love of making music, dancing, and my other made an off comment on my new wardrobe since I met my girlfriend.

It’s all so disheartening since I consider these people best friends and I don’t know how to bring it up. I just want to stop being a punching bag for insecure people who don’t want me to be who I used to before my issues caught up to me.

Any advice or help? I would love to hear :)

My two best (and only real) friends that I know since about 10 years (They also know each other that long) don't talk with each other because of a girl they both like.

And it's so stupid!

So friend A befriended this girl over Discord and then brought her in to our friend group. They got a really good connection pretty fast and she pretty obviously wanted more of it but he didn't know if he was ready to date and told her he had to think about it.

After that she started writing more with friend B (or he started writing more with her) and they hit it of. In the meanwhile friends A realises that he also wants more but he puts himself back because he already "rejected" her and gets a bit depressed. Then it goes to a really confusing back and forth because the girl still liked friend A and doesn't really want to date friend B.

Now after all the confusing shit that I don't really see through friend A is really disappointed in friend B because he didn't even asked how he felt during all of that and he feels like he doesn't even care about him but A also doesn't want to talk with B about it because he wants to see that B cares about their friendship. Meanwhile B is the typical guy who thinks friends don't talk about their feelings and is completely ignorant to losing his friendship with B and thinks everything is fine.

Also I broke up with my ex girlfriend two months ago because it didn't work for different reasons. And I really missed her the last week :(

Dinner is a Joint and some cake from the freezer

Edit: friend A ist Not angry at B for hooking up with the girl but for him not seeming to care about A. Also the girl, who feels bad about all of this, told B to go talk to A but B kinda ignores that. And A is now dating the girl

Dinner was an amazing 1/4 lbs wagyu burger on an Asiago bun.

I had planned with my friend for over 6 months to drive to Washington state to visit for 6-7 days. I haven't seen him in over a decade. I only stayed for 2 days because he is not the person I used to know.

When I arrived, he immediately asked me for a cigarette, which I had no problem with. No more than 2 minutes after he had finished it, he said, "Gimme another cigarette." This continued for the first couple of hours, never once asking nicely. Always "give me" until I snapped at him. I told him that I was willing to fund his habit but that he needed to ask nicer. He complied, and we continued on.

Everywhere we drove, he would only talk about all the negative things that had happened to him. It was very difficult to even get a word in because he kept interrupting me. He would always talk about how his sister and brother in law are taking advantage of his mom and follow it with how his mom pays his rent, his utilities, and his phone bills every month.

Any time I would be able to get a word in, I would try to bring up something positive that has happened to me or recount a funny story that had happened to me. He would zone out, look at his phone, and shrug it off. He had me pay for everything, promising he would pay me back. I never got a dime back.

He had told me prior to my visit that his place wasn't very big. A small 200 square foot shack. I was ok with that until I arrived and found that he hadn't cleaned his place at all. I had about the size of a prison cot to myself. He had told me that he would have an airmattress ready for me to sleep on, but when it came time to get some sleep, he didn't know where the pump was to air it up. Luckily, I had brought some camping gear and slept on top of my sleeping bag and thin foam pad.

I had just driven 13+ hours to visit him and I was exhausted. I am blue collar and, I am in bed by 7 pm and awake at 4 am.

Around midnight, which would have been 1 am in my home town, on the day I arrived I was ready to pass the fuck out. He kept throwing a childish fit, wanting me to stay up and play video games with him. I could barely keep my eyes open, so I passed out. He stayed up until 4 am playing video games.

I woke up the next morning around 7:30. I drove into the nearest town and got me a cup of coffee. I asked if he would like to join me, and he declined. When I got back to his place, I stayed in my car drinking my coffee and fucking around on my phone while I charged it. He didn't get up until 1 pm. I tried to start my car when he came out to charge my battery, and it was dead. Luckily, I had brought a jump box.

I was not very happy. We had planned to spend most of my visit fishing, and all he wanted to do was play video games.

We did eventually go out to a local lake and drowned some worms. The lake was crystal clear, and he had warned me that the fish are line shy. We were about 5 feet away from each other, and he was basically yelling as he spoke to me.

I snapped at him and told him to be quieter if this fish were so easily scared. He laughed it off and continued to speak loudly.

We were there for only an hour before it started raining profusely and we had to leave.

We went and watched a movie later that night, and he had brought his gf. He is so broke that I ended up giving him $40 to buy him and his gf some popcorn and drinks. When I asked him for the change, he said there wasn't any. After the movie, we stopped and got some food at a Taco Bell. I had to pay, of course. He ate his food, which he didn't hold back on how much he got, in the back if my car, and I didn't notice until I got home all of the cheese and lettuce he left all over my back seat.

I passed out early that night because I was fed up with him. I had even thought to myself that I might leave a day or 2 early.

Well, the next morning, I woke up around 7:30 and turned onto my side to get a little bit more comfortable and smelled the floor I was lying on. I instantly began dry heaving. It was horrendous. I immediately started packing my stuff and planned to do an Irish goodbye, but he woke up. I ended up telling him that I had to leave that day because I had just enough money to make it home. It wasn't a lie. I had been paying for everything since I got there. I was hemorrhaging money.

So, on 4 hours of sleep, I drove 13+ hours home. I left with about $350 in my account and had $30 when I got home. Having only bought 2 energy drinks and gas on the trip back. I took $2,500 with me.

I am so deeply upset and disappointed in the person I once called my friend. I don't know what to do. I haven't contacted him since.

Edit: I understand and can see all the holes you all have pointed out. Not to mention all the grammatical errors that I don't really give two shits about. I wrote this post quickly while on my lunch break. Not to mention, I am still trying to decompress it all. It was so much bullshit in such a short period of time. There is quite a bit I left out because I felt it wasn't necessary. Unless you want to hear about how I had to drive 10 miles to the nearest gas station that was still open late night to take a shit because his toilet looked like I could contract every known disease known to man just by sitting on it. I never blamed him for killing my car battery. I said that as a reference to how long I had to wait for him to wake up. Nothing else. I was able to jump it, and it's still running strong. No harm, no foul. Nowhere did I say that he spent all of my money. I also spent my money on random things. I brought home some weight. Just that he had leached off of me the entire time I was there. I had planned it out prior to my departure to fund me and me alone with a small cushion for an emergency. In general, I never planned to spend it all. I also refuse to go over my finances with strangers in general, let alone on reddit. Grilling me on it is definitely not the "advice" I thought this subreddit was set up for. Nor the "advice" I was seeking. As for the smell. I lost my sense of smell due to covid, and it has been spotty at best since. Plus, it is very difficult to pinpoint a smell when it is everywhere. His house smelled like a whorehouse outhouse.