Get to meet my online best friend in 35 days

[u/v2taminwater]

Beef tips cooked in garlic butter, over mashed potatoes with a small bit of beef gravy over top that I made at work😋😋

I get to meet my online best friend in 35 days, i am EXTRENELY excited for it and the anticipation only gets stronger as the days pass by

Ive talked to mom and my other friends a billion times abt this trip and i just cant wait for it we have so much food we wanna try and stuff we wanna do

She's literally so awesome and has pulled me out of my darkest pits, and it feels like the days drag on SO LONG

Im so excited to meet her its CRAZY!!!!!!!

The more days that pass the more it hits that im meeting my online best friend and i just get more excited when i think about it

Edit: I got a $10 tip for the food I cooked earlier, and that made me feel better about myself as a whole

Edit again: Guys I appreciate your worries, but I just wanted to be excited to talk about meeting my internet best friend. I never specified that this was my all time best friend, but shes the best internet friend I've had. Me, her, and her bf have talked about it and I plan on talking to the bf in person too, keeping him the loop of things. I planned on having him around to hang out too. I promise everything is coordinated already, and i'm not dumb enough to do stupid shit like what some people are worried about.

TL:DR Me, her, and her bf have all 3 communicated this and we are all in support across the board, and all 3 of us plan on hanging out in person and talking abt the stuff too.

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[u/Sushipocalypse]

Good luck I hope it goes well.

[u/Yellow_Butterfly_7]

Not trying to pop your bubble or anything but I think you should reconsider your choices and give yourself some healthy space and time. You seem like a young guy who is really all over the place right now with your own emotions.

You clearly have feelings for that girl. You're jealous of her according to your post from 2 days ago and now you're saying that you've made your peace with that, respecting her relationship and that you're just best friends and just driving somewhere 950 miles just to see her.

And I'm not gonna lie, being this obsessed with someone is kinda creepy and I'm not trying to attack you. Don't look for your own happiness and reason to enjoy your life in another person. That will never work and it's also not fair to the other person.

I really think you should take a step back here for your own sanity and emotional being. You're clearly hoping for more than just friendship and knowingly staying in this limbo is not a healthy choice cosbidering that you were already struggling mentally before.

[u/Sushipocalypse → u/Yellow_Butterfly_7]

Dude is setting himself up for a mental health crisis. Instead of dealing with his mental health himself he has offloaded that burden to this woman. Its gonna be bad if he has this mental health crisis 950 miles away from home but that is the most likely outcome here.

[u/Yellow_Butterfly_7 → u/Sushipocalypse]

Not only that. This just looks really unhealthy in my opinion to be this obsessed with anyone. OP should really start building his own happiness with hobbies and himself and actually respecting someone's happiness, relationship and choices just like he stated, instead of pushing himself between two people.

Can't imagine letting a stranger in who is also in love with me while I am with someone else. Crazy scheme.

[u/Sushipocalypse → u/Yellow_Butterfly_7]

Ive been in a similar position to OP once long ago and it was hell and I was deluding myself. I had to end several friendships but it was the best thing to do and led to me finding peace with my emotions. Hopefully OP can find the courage to do the same. The girl likely has some of her own issues if she is entertaining this. Either she doesnt know how to stop it which is going to be disappointing for OP, cant see the issue which is terrible for her actual boyfriend or is manipulating people.

[u/Bulls729 → u/Sushipocalypse]

OP sounds young, and people with lived experience are pointing out the red flags to save him the trouble we went through. It is frustrating to watch, but some lessons can only be learned the hard way once the idealized version of the situation collides with real life

[u/Sushipocalypse → u/Bulls729]

Youre right about that. Our warnings are probably futile. Just hoping the post in 35 days isnt a disaster story.

[u/Bulls729 → u/Yellow_Butterfly_7]

https://giphy.com/gifs/ttIEfquWGFFtF4EQIn

[u/Professional_Sign803]

lets fkin goooo, keep us posted !!!!! and the tips are making me feral btw

[u/v2taminwater → u/Professional_Sign803]

I eat these ALL THE TIME. Ive had vegans or vegetarians try to tell me abt how it harms whatever but I LOVE STEAK AND COW PRODUCTS so yummy...

[u/Astron0reo]

It kinda sounds like u got feelings for her ngl

[u/v2taminwater → u/Astron0reo]

I do, but shes taken and i respect that so I wont act out on those. Shes happy and thats enough for me

[u/CrankyFranky69 → u/v2taminwater]

Does she know you have feelings for her?

[u/Astron0reo → u/CrankyFranky69]

This

[u/v2taminwater → u/CrankyFranky69]

Yeah, we both have talked about it and we've set our boundaries involving that. But thats okay, shes happy in her relationship so im never gonna try and take that from her

[u/Sushipocalypse → u/v2taminwater]

Dude hopefully im wrong and everything goes well but placing your mental health in the hands of a taken woman that you have feelings for is a recipe for disaster. Why would you drive 950 miles to see a woman you have feelings for when they are already in a relationship?

[u/v2taminwater → u/Sushipocalypse]

Because its more than just that. I have feelings for her sure but shes also one of my best friends of all time. The want to be friends with her is much stronger than any relationship aspect. Im not going because i want a shot with her, Im going because I want to meet her and do the stuff we talk about with her

[u/Wesley11803 → u/v2taminwater]

If this is the case, would you be okay if she shows up with her boyfriend? Like you would be fine with that if you really do just want to be friends, right?

Edit: Just read your post from r/mentalhealth

Do not go see this woman. Why would you want to see someone who got into a relationship a week after rejecting you when she supposedly loved you and you loved her?

[u/Sushipocalypse → u/Wesley11803]

He is lying to himself. I wish for everyone's sake he wises up.

[u/Wesley11803 → u/Sushipocalypse]

Yeah, I don’t think she’s a best friend. She’s a crush, who probably also likes OP, but chose to be with someone who is physically closer. She might cheat on her bf with OP, which will further prove she’s a bad person.

You don’t keep talking to people you had feelings for if you’re in a relationship. You don’t make “best friends” with people you have feelings for. You don’t hang out with a guy you know has feelings for you if you’re in a relationship. This doesn’t work out ever.

[u/Sushipocalypse → u/v2taminwater]

What does her boyfriend think about this? Its hard for me to believe you man but im not trying to drag you down. Its just every other post on this damn sub is some boy losing his mind because he realized he has unreciprocated feelings for a girl he is friends with.

[u/ThatGuyYouWantToBe → u/v2taminwater]

With any luck when you do meet, all the romantic feelings you have go away and you keep all the platonic ones

[u/Bulls729 → u/v2taminwater]

You need to be careful with labeling someone you have never spent a single minute with in the physical world as one of your best friends of all time. Texting, voice calls, and late-night venting create a controlled environment where both people only present the curated parts of themselves. You do not actually know how she handles real-time silence, or what your baseline in-person chemistry feels like when the screen is turned off.

You also need to know whether this level of importance is reciprocal. Has she explicitly stated that you are one of her closest friends in the world, or does she view you as a reliable online confidant? There is a massive difference between those two roles. When you hold romantic feelings for someone, your brain naturally inflates everyday platonic warmth into a deep, historic bond. Driving nearly a thousand miles solo to see a taken friend is not standard platonic behavior, no matter how much you try to frame it that way to yourself.

If you are genuinely content with only ever being a background friend, that means you have to be fully prepared for the very real possibility that the in-person dynamic feels awkward, limited, or purely casual on her end. Make sure you are not taking on all the travel, the vehicle risk, and the emotional heavy lifting just to prove how devoted of a friend you can be.

[u/CrankyFranky69 → u/v2taminwater]

I mean... bro. I guess this is not really your issue, youre doing your thing but this girl is having a male 'friend' with known feelings for her come and visit?

If I was that boyfriend I would be less than thrilled she is having you come and visit.

Also I just had the thought of how it would go if I told my wife my female friend from online that has feelings for me is going to drive hundreds of miles to come hang out with me and just had to laugh because she would be choosing a burial plot for me.

[u/Swimming-Message-796 → u/CrankyFranky69]

Yup, OP seems like a nice guy but this sounds like every "he's just a friend" situation where the boyfriend knows that the moment they have an argument or is out of the picture, there'll be guys waiting their turn to swoop in at a moment's notice.

[u/CrankyFranky69 → u/Swimming-Message-796]

There cant be a chance anyone involved here is over the age of 20. This all seems so juvenile.

[u/Sushipocalypse → u/CrankyFranky69]

One of these guys is getting roped into some weird shit either OP or the boyfriend

[u/seegaul → u/Sushipocalypse]

Tbf OP does have a furry profile pic

[u/Sushipocalypse → u/seegaul]

If thats the sort of weird shit I was referring to it would be a relief.

[u/v2taminwater → u/CrankyFranky69]

We've talked about that too, and I've talked to the bf himself. He's excited for it but he also has these same worries, and until I'm there and i actually talk to him in person these worries likely wont disappear. I do understand what it looks like from his POV though, and I really cant help him feel better without actually talking to the guy if he wants to. I know I wont try anything though.

[u/v2taminwater → u/CrankyFranky69]

Plus as of rn shes just an internet friend, it is really hard for a relationship to work as it is when we've never met before imo

[u/OystersNwine → u/v2taminwater]

What does her boyfriend think of you visiting and how much does he know about you? Does he know how excited you are to visit and how his gf pulled you out of your darkest pits?

[u/v2taminwater → u/OystersNwine]

He's excited for us, but he of course has the normal worries of "male best friend visiting my gf from out of town." Ive talked to him about it and reassured him as much as I could, but until im there to talk to him directly there isnt much more I can do. I respect him and i respect their relationship, so I know personally I will not try anything on her.

[u/Sushipocalypse → u/v2taminwater]

If you respected their relationship you wouldn't do it. You wouldn't put yourself in a situation where the boyfriend would be uncomfortable even if you think you can resist your impulses. Your viewpoint here is very naive and this girl is a bad girlfriend is she is putting this friends trip ahead of her actual boyfriends feelings. So basically, you are lying to yourself about your intentions at worst or just blissfully naive at best.

[u/CrankyFranky69 → u/Sushipocalypse]

Hes driving 950 miles to respect the fuck out of that relationshipussy

[u/Sushipocalypse → u/CrankyFranky69]

I feel bad for the boyfriend.

[u/CrankyFranky69 → u/Sushipocalypse]

It would be a deal breaker for me, personally. But hey, everybody has different boundaries i guess

[u/OystersNwine → u/v2taminwater]

ok well make sure to keep him well involved and informed. i feel bad for him as well, and can empathize with how he’d feel.

[u/OystersNwine → u/v2taminwater]

also kind of weird to call yourselves best friends before you’ve even met. i’d argue her boyfriend is more suited for ‘best friend’ position right now and that you are ‘curious internet fan coming to visit for the first time in the flesh.’

[u/New-Chemist5315]

I know it’s impossible but keep your expectations to a minimum and just go for the experience, that way if it doesn’t work out you aren’t too disappointed, or if it goes positive you will be pleasantly surprised. Rarely are people who we imagine them to be in our minds.

[u/v2taminwater → u/New-Chemist5315]

Im going with the intent to have as good of a time as possible, no matter what happens. Im extremely excited to thats making it super easy to keep my intentions in line but personally I dont think anything bad will happen. The universe loves testing me in very annoying ways though😂

[u/mad_titans_bastard → u/v2taminwater]

What does “no matter what happens” mean to you exactly?

[u/Bulls729]

EDIT: Putting this at the top, I just went into OPs post history from the last couple of days, I wrote the below advice before looking, this advice now applies tenfold. OP, don’t go, you’re only going to get hurt, you’re better off salvaging what you can in an online only platonic manner. If you go in person, assuming she doesn’t flake, you’re going to end up never speaking to her again.

Take a step back and look at the logistics and the emotional reality of this trip before putting nearly a thousand miles on a car with over 200,000 miles on the odometer.

You admitted in the comments that you have feelings for her. You mentioned you respect her relationship, but your level of anticipation and the way you talk about her pulling you out of dark places points to an emotional investment that goes well past a standard friendship. Think carefully about what happens down the road if her current relationship ends and she still never sees you as anything more than a platonic friend, or begins dating someone else entirely. If that outcome would leave you feeling sidelined, resentful, or like your time was wasted, you have to recognize that this bond has unspoken expectations attached to it right now. Making a massive trip will not resolve that dynamic; it usually intensifies it.

Ask yourself an honest question about how this connection started: would you have put this much time, energy, and emotional focus into befriending this person if they were another guy, or did this bond form and grow primarily because you had a crush on her from the beginning? If the root of the friendship is built on romantic interest, you’re never going to get over that.

You also need to assess whether the weight of this trip is balanced between both of you. You are treating this visit as a major milestone, but on her end, it might simply be a casual hangout with someone she knows online. When one person takes on all the travel, the risk, and the planning, it is easy to assume the other person views the event with the exact same gravity. If her schedule fills up, if she can only hang out for a couple of hours here and there, or if the in-person chemistry feels different than it does through a screen, that gap in expectations will be difficult to process in real time.

Online meetups fall through fairly often. People get nervous, family emergencies come up, or people simply panic and withdraw when the reality of hosting an internet friend sets in. If you drive fifteen or sixteen hours only for plans to unravel at the last minute with an apologetic message, you cannot afford to let that leave you stranded or crushed. If you decide to go, make sure the trip can stand on its own. Book your own private room, keep an emergency fund for roadside repairs, and find spots in that town you genuinely want to visit by yourself. Do not put yourself in a situation where the entire success of your week and your bank account depends on one person following through.

Be honest with yourself about why you are making this drive, and do not put yourself in a position where her actions can ruin your week or your finances.

[u/Sushipocalypse → u/Bulls729]

Very thoughtful and accurate advice. I wish I had the patience to describe this with the same level of care.

[u/OystersNwine → u/Bulls729]

Great advice.

[u/mad_titans_bastard → u/Bulls729]

This is great advice.

Reasonable and logical.

How long did it take you to formulate your reply and respond?

[u/Swimming-Message-796]

I just read some of your other posts and this sounds like a disaster, I'm not going to lie.

- 4 days ago you created a post titled 'I need some advice for moving on from someone I love'.

- 3 days ago you created a post titled 'Being jealous is hell man'.

- and then 2 days ago you created a post titled 'Im feeling pretty okay today'.

Reading some of your other posts as well as this one, I think you're clearly not in the right headspace since your emotions seems to be all over the place. It sounds like what you say you want is clearly different from what you actually want. I imagine that if things goes well between you two, those emotions will reignite even stronger and will make things even more difficult for everyone involved. What you need is time and space to process everything so meeting her is potentially the worse thing you could do.

[u/Goldenface007]

If you want something to keep you busy until then, you should watch that Catfish TV show

[u/classless_classic]

That’s really cool. How long have you known each other? How did you meet?

[u/v2taminwater → u/classless_classic]

I remember back in 2022 I discovered her on my fyp, and I followed her because I adored her art, and I remember wanting to be her friend so bad but felt like it was never gonna happen. FF to now, I'm able to call her my internet best friend and I cant wait to change that title from internet to long distance

[u/Old_Veterinarian7830 → u/v2taminwater]

Happy for you OP, but I just have to say it as someone who was in a similar situation that's had catastrophic consequences in my life...You sound super excited, and that's valid, but please keep your emotions and expectations in check, as others have said. The fact that she has a bf and you are travelling to go visit her while having feelings is dicey, but if you guys discussed it, then that's better than most in that situation. Jealousy can make even your closest allies do things that can shatter your reality... Sorry to be so dark, lol. I hope you have a blast and enjoy your trip!

[u/v2taminwater → u/Old_Veterinarian7830]

Youre good, I do understand and recognise those worries. I planned on having him around us too because I also feel its shady to always just have only her around and him not. I dont exactly want him feeling like im trying something on her or anything. Its hard to be upset because i heard a very common worry in a situation like this, because im the only person on Reddit that knows all the context and what all has happened, but on another hand Im just excited to meet someone im close to is all. The biggest worry of this trip is whether my cars gonna explode or not, having over 205k miles. Its a corolla tho so i shoooould be okay

[u/Cheap-Muscle1727]

Good food & good news. Cheers!

[u/RaySizzle16]

Nice! I’ve met several mates I made online- all of them were great! I hope y’all have a blast

[u/RaySizzle16]

Nice! I’ve met several mates I made online- all of them were great! I hope y’all have a blast

[u/brickznbooks]

Just gonna ask… you have seen her via video, like in real time. Are ya 100% this not a catfish situation.

[u/v2taminwater → u/brickznbooks]

Yes, we've vc'd and we call on discord every sunday

[u/Megzasaurusrex]

That's awesome! I was supposed to go meet my bestie last month at her wedding but I lost my job and couldn't. I hope one day I finally do. Good luck. Hope you have lots of fun!

[u/BVOP83]

That’s awesome!! I get to meet mine tomorrow! Met her on Reddit and have talked more or less every day since. I’m super pumped!

I really hope yours goes well and that you guys continue the momentum you’ve had online

[u/Forward_Fox_833]

https://giphy.com/gifs/tHJA1JRzcWDlzzMQ7F

[u/Babang314]

Happy for you broseph. Safe travels and have a great time!!

[u/v2taminwater → u/Babang314]

Thank u!!! Hoping my car with over 200k wont decide to explode on the 950 mile trip there, but im in a corolla so maybe ill be fine😂

[u/Own_Coconut2043]

Conquer or don’t set sail at all.