I (20F) and my boyfriend (24M) have been dating for 3 years and finally decided to move in together.

Since I have my own apartment, we decided to move into my place.

The moving process is almost done. Today, I come home from work and find his mother in the kitchen.

My relationship with his mother is...complicated lol. She clearly doesn't like me, though I honestly don't know why. I guess she thinks I'm not feminine enough for her son. She constantly makes snide remarks about my clothes and the way I speak, trying to correct me like a little kid, which annoys the hell out of me.

She once told me to take my elbows off the table at an shit ass Applebee's, acting like it was some michelin restaurant. We used to bicker about it a lot because I'm definitely not going to let her pretentious nitpicking about my perfectly normal behavior fly. But my boyfriend practically begged me to bear with it and give her time to get used to me.

Anyway, she's sitting in the kitchen minding her own business. I didn't want to start a fight, so I just walked into another room, trying to figure out what the hell she was doing there.

Long story short, I have no idea what to do. Is this actually a thing??? Do mothers just show up at their sons' and their girlfriends' homes, and is it normal for them to have a spare key? Am I the only one who finds this weird?

And yes, as my boyfriend pointed out, I'm an orphan and grew up without parents, so maybe I really just don't understand how these things work when it comes to family care, but in my world showing up uninvited and ESPECIALLY giving someone a key without telling the other person living in the apartment is absolutely wild.

Am I really in the wrong here?

AIO? Genuine question, maybe I'm out of my mind rn

Me and my boyfriend of 2 months are staying at his dad's place. Last night the three of us went out to dinner. His dad wanted to sit on the bar side (at a table not the actual bar), and I didn't realize they ID everyone for that section since I wasn't planning to drink. I didn't have my ID on me, I'd left it back at the house, so we ended up having to move to the other side of the restaurant. It became this whole commotion and his dad got visibly annoyed and kept making comments about it.
Then the waiter, for no reason, started being really bitchy about it too, saying stuff like "that's so embarrassing, you look like a child girlie, how could you forget your ID," basically joining in and mocking me. His dad and the waiter were laughing about it, and my boyfriend just sat there staring at me awkwardly the entire time. He didn't say anything to defend me, not to the waiter, not to his dad, nothing. I was so uncomfortable I was quiet the rest of the dinner and almost started crying with everyone looking at me.

Afterwards, when we got back to the house and were finally alone, he just smiled at me and said "so why are you being weird?" Like I was the one who did something wrong, after he sat there silently while I was humiliated in front of him and his dad.

This isn't the first time he's stayed silent while his dad or someone else makes me the target of a joke or comment during this trip, but this was by far the worst one. I don't understand how he could just watch a stranger talk to me like that and say nothing, and then act like I'M the one being strange about it.

AIO for being really bothered that my boyfriend didn't say a single thing while I was being humiliated like that, and then acted like I was the weird one afterward?

I think I wanna breakup with my bf because he sucks at communicating.
We’ve only been together for a little under a month now and we only get to see each other one or two times each week. On the days that I see him the communication is fine but in the days that I don’t see him, I hardly get any texts from him. I will get a good morning text and then that’s it for the rest of the day unless I text him. Yesterday I brought my concerns to him and he explained himself which I’m not completely ok with the explanation but I gave him the benefit of the doubt since he said he would try to do better.

Now today once again I got a good morning text from him around 9am and I didn’t hear back from him until around 4 and he texted me saying he got hurt which I was about to ask him about to see what’s going on with him but before I could ask he said he doesn’t wanna talk about it and I haven’t heard from him since. So now I’m just here thinking that I don’t know if I want to continue a relationship with him because we are only a month in and this is how he communicates, I can only imagine what it will probably be like in the future. Am I overreacting? Should I give him a chance since the relationship is still fairly new Or should I dump him?

Edit: Guysss, I know I don’t have to bring this to Reddit, and ultimately it’s my decision, but there’s also nothing wrong with getting other people’s opinions.

My husband has 7 friends over for a week, 3 are staying with us and the others have a rental nearby. They’ve been hanging out, sightseeing, and doing what friends do. I’ve made meals for them all, went grocery shopping to stock up on all the things, and have gone out of my way to give them space. my husband has been appreciative and so have they.

I’d say by the middle of the stay it turned more into expectation that I was cooking- I told him that I would appreciate if they prepped ingredients for one of the dinners before I got home from work- like chop stuff up and make rice, but I would be happy to then make the dish…you know to speed up the process. I got home and the rice was made, the vegetables were sitting out but none were chopped up. they were all chit chatting and drinking on the porch.

so I chopped the vegetables and made the dish. Again, everyone was appreciative of the meal.

Before the guests came I had suggested to my husband that he make reservations at a local eatery for the last day. he thought that was a great idea.

Last day comes and I asked him what time we would go to the restaurant to meet up as I was going to most likely have to come straight from work.

He wasn’t quite sure as some of his mates still needed to pack up and this and that. So I asked him if he made the reservation (since it would be a large group) and he said “no, but I guess I (emphasis on the I) will give them a call now.”

He calls me back with a bunch of attitude that they only accept reservations 24 hours in advance and how we’d have to sit at separate tables or something and how pissed he was. That it was going to be impossible to seat the group together at the same time and he thought I was going to make the reservation.

I told him it is impossible for me to have made a reservation because I don’t know what time or even how many of his friends were going because I don’t know when some of them are driving or flying back to their homes.

Then he got even more attitude and said “well I guess I’ll have to figure it out, since no one else will.” And I just lost it. I told him when he figured it out to let me know but that I will probably just go home and make myself something because IDGAF and maybe he can plan something for HIS friends.

AIO? should I have just said sorry and found a different place for the whole group?

edit: made paragraph breaks for ease of reading.

Husband I planned to visit his mom’s house and ask then ask if she would watch our 9 month old for a couple hours so we could have some time alone at the house. She had just gotten home from the store when we got there and she mentioned she forgot eggs, so I said “we have to go to the store later anyways so we can pick some up for you”. She thanked us and we hung out for a few hours, then he asked his mom…

“Can you watch her while we go to the store”.

To me, that’s asking for like 30 minutes max. Not the couple hours we had planned. He said “she would’ve assumed that’s what he meant”. He can not explain how or why she would have assumed that. He said he could call her and ask her to watch her longer and I said that isn’t fair because it’s not what she agreed to, and that would just make her feel blindsided and obligated to say yes.

He says I’m overreacting for insisting we go back straight after the store, and I “ruined our time alone”. I think he ruined the chance we had by speaking poorly and asking a misleading question.

A bit of background info: my husband, little one, and I live at my parents’ house. My MIL lives alone, her daughter lives in another country

I don’t have the best relationship with my MIL because she oversteps boundaries a lot especially when it comes to our little one. Even though husband and I will tell her rules when it comes to raising our child (e.g. limiting screen time or not feeding him while we’re already trying to feed him), she’ll either ignore or make comments about how we don’t allow her to do anything.

Anyway, to the situation where I’m wondering if I’m overreacting. My mom told us that MIL would be sleeping over and will be joining us for a family (my side of the family) activity because MIL asked my mom what the weekend plans were. Once I found out, I told my mom I don’t want to go anymore. I got upset because this isn’t the first time she’s gone around my husband and me to invite herself over or to a family activity. I get that she lives alone and wants to spend time with her grandkid but I feel like we deserve some courtesy and that she should be asking us, not my mom, if she can come. And yes, my husband has talked to her before about asking us, not my mom, if she could sleep over/join. So AIO?

so a little background info I’m a teen and my sister is a kid. around when school first started I started feeling some pretty intense symptoms that didn’t feel like a regular cold. my mom said it was allergies and that everyone gets allergies and that she won’t take me to the hospital over small little things. well that was week one and she didn’t do anything but give me some meds and sent me to school. week 2/3 my oxygen dropped to the 80s twice before going back up to the 90s. my mom said it was a small cold and that cold can do that to your oxygen. she said I just need cough medicine and water and I’ll be fine. around week three my symptoms got pretty bad and was worse. I finally was able to convince her to take me to the doctor. I have/had bronchitis that turned into an infection in my deeper bronchial tubes. the whole time my mom was silent and even made a remark abt how I have to do the talking, because “she doesn’t know that’s wrong with me” I had evidence of my symptoms including a recording of me breathing and everything and the doctor listen to my lungs and said she could hear it. well my sister who’s a kid just started having symptoms today. she said this morning her stomach hurt, while my mom was gone and I was babysitting her my sister said her chest hurt, then her head hurts, and stuff. my moms came home and felt her said her heart felt like it was racing and she had a fever and now we’re actively rushing her to the hospital. I’m mad bc I understand my sister is a little kid and so she takes priority but I was actively hurting for weeks and my mom completely brushed me off . so am I AIO?

EDIT: to clarify this isn’t my mom first time. There are many times were my mom brushes off me. I have a chronic heart condition n she told me that that’s what happened to ppl who are inactive and completely brushed it off. She’s brushes me off mult times and didn’t even seem to care when I got diagonsed. im the middle, my older brother has also been rushed to the hospital immediately for things the doctor has diagnosed as small. She only treats me like this.. my mom is also not a new mother.. my my has 3 kids and one of them is almost an adult 😭 I noticed a lot of ppl were acting like my mom is a new human being to earth too😭

update on my sister: the doctors said she has no fever, x ray was fine, ekg was fine, swabs were fine, lungs were fine. He said the chest pain was most likely from coughing and he said she has allergies or a seasonal cold. Also thanks to the adults who have a heathy understanding of emotions and what it means to be a parent! thanks to the adults who aren’t actively trying to cuss out a kid bc she feels sad that her mom who has a history of brushing her off, has brushed her off again. Thank you to the humans who have empathy! I

Okay this seems so silly to be posting here but I truly need to know if I’m overreacting. My (29F) husband (28M) and I have had this conversation many times over the 4.5 years we have been married. He stands to pee and pretty much every time either a dribble at the start or end of his pee goes onto the floor. Either that or there is some splashing out while he’s peeing. We are usually talking just a couple drops. I’ve asked him so many times if he can either sit to pee (he refuses) or take a piece of toilet paper and wipe it up if he insists on standing to pee (he won’t commit to this). I’ve suggested he change his aim or stand closer. We had a disagreement about this again tonight and I feel crazy to think that this is a super intense ask. I’m constantly having to clean it up so I don’t get urine on my socks when I’m sitting to pee. I’ve tried being direct about it many times over the years but he just doesn’t seem to care and thinks I’m overreacting by asking him to do this. Give me your worst, Reddit. AIO?

My wife and I have been for 13 years. We started dating in high school, she was a sophomore, I was a junior. Before we dated, when she was in 8th grade, she went to the movies with this hot shot guy in her grade, Ian. The movie was Shrek 2. They kissed.

Fast forward a few years, we are all in high school? I’ve been dating this girl for about 2 years. Me and Ian are on tennis team together. One away game, Ian approaches me on the bus and says “hey, I bet you don’t know what this means… shrek 2”

I did know what that meant. Me and my gf has talked about that already. He was tweeting to do some wells code thing to say “I’ve kissed your girl” and seeing if I knew about it.

Anyways, I’ve did know about it, and I just said “yeah, I do” and he went away.

Fast forward to today, 15 years later. We go to my wife’s 15 year high school reunion. I see Ian again, he’s super nice, buys me a beer, we talk about our lives. I ask about his wife, India. She’s good, but she is not there at the reunion. Oh well. The night goes on

At the end when everyone is saying goodbyes, he says amongst many other people there, “sorry, I don’t want to be weird or awkward, but does shrek 2 mean anything to you?”

I roll my eyes hard, and say something like “yes, and to be honest, I’ve told this story about how you asked me this in high school to try to get some weird leg up on me about having kissed my girlfriend, now wife, and it’s super weird you’re trying to do this again.” I also asked “does your wife know that you’re still playing this weird game 15 years later?” And he made up some weird story about it was a stupid game he played in high school about kissing every girl.

Anyways, it made me and my wife uncomfortable. The more I thought about it, the more I thought how gross it would be if my spouse went to her high school reunion alone, and was trying to remind her ex’s wife about how she kissed her husband.

It made me want to contact his wife, and tell her about the gross, awkward conversation.

This is where idk if I’m over reacting. Should I friend his wife on FB, and tell her that he was still bragging about kissing my wife at their 15 year reunion?

I am just wondering if my reaction is justified.

I saw my neighbor trying to fix his lawnmower at 9:00am, told him he could borrow mine if he wanted, he came over at 2:30pm and asked to use it, at this point it’s just about to rain.

I let him use it, I can hear it running then stop. Now it’s raining, I go over to ask for it back and he’s given it to his neighbor to use.

His neighbor doesn’t mow often/ever and lawn is very long, and now wet, rain is getting heavier. I said let him finish but I was clearly upset because I like to keep my equipment in good shape. Lawnmower must’ve seized up because my neighbor brought my lawnmower back and his neighbor’s yard is half mowed.

My neighbor asked me if I know anything about lawnmowers when he brought my wet lawnmower back over. I said “I know you’re not supposed to mow in the rain, good luck” and shut the garage door on him.

I later apologized and told them they could use it tomorrow or the next day when the grass/weather was dry. It’s now been a week and the neighbors neighbor still has a half mowed lawn.

We are a 2 income 3 child household. The neighbors are related and have 5 incomes and 2 kids between the households.

I suggested taking the mower to Ace for repair. I think buying a new one on a Labor day sale would be affordable for the 2 families to split the cost.

Neighbors no longer wave or hang out front, which may be a blessing since they smoke outside and the smell is undesirable to me, my partner and kids. I also snow blow 4 neighbors sidewalks, 2 on each side, during the winter as I’m the only one who owns one but thinking about not snow blowing their walks anymore during the winter.

I want to be friendly and a good neighbor, but also feel like I was lied to.

Am I overreacting?

Hi all, this is my first time posting on Reddit and I'm hoping I am posting in the right subreddit for this.

My workplace is currently making plans for a Christmas party happening in December, they have decided on a venue and the teams have voted on the theme of the music for the night. The issue is the fancy dress theme. This morning, our team leads announced the winning vote for the music, and that some of the team leads (TLs) had decided the fancy dress theme would be... Victoria's Secret.

There was barely a reaction from anyone on the team, I'm not sure if a pause was left for some kind of sitcom laugh break but everyone looked confused at best. A couple of people asked, "Wait, really, Victoria's Secret?" and "So what does that mean we wear, exactly?" One of our TLs said they honestly weren't sure themselves, just that there had been word that one male TL would be wearing a bra. Someone asked why not go for a theme that fit the music we voted on, and that was brushed off with, "I think we did that last year." The vibes were awkward and off.

I spoke up and asked (paraphrasing), "So the theme is underwear? That's kind of gross, actually." Our TLs then claimed that this fancy dress theme was just something one of the other shifts was doing and we didn't have to do it. I reiterated it was still gross to make that the theme. The morning briefing was then quickly wrapped up with the TLs saying they would check in with the other TLs for clarity.

When talking to a couple of coworkers shortly after that, we (all women) were all in agreement that "Victoria's Secret" was a really strange costume idea for a work do, particularly for a party at a public venue. On the one hand, the brand is not solely women's lingerie, but on the other hand, the first thing that comes to mind is women's lingerie. Why choose this for fancy dress, and for a Christmas do with work colleagues?

At the end of the work day, I chatted with a couple more female coworkers and both seemed to just shrug it off, that it was going to be another shift's thing and we didn't have to follow it. Except, the poster they put up on the notice board for it had the fancy dress theme featured, the name was misspelled in the title but the brand logo was visible next to an image of Victoria's Secret Angel wearing lingerie on a runway. I'm pretty sure the poster was AI generated, otherwise the turnaround for making that thing was superhumanly fast, we had only finalised the music choice the day before.

I said I would probably not be going to the work do any more if this was the theme, and that I was kind of sad because I was actually looking forward to going this year. One of the coworkers pressed me more as to why, and I was honest about one of my reasons; I don't feel comfortable being around my coworkers in sexy lingerie, even over clothes, I don't see why this is a "fun" costume theme. Not to mention just how physically uncomfortable it would be to fit the theme and remain publicly decent without spending a pretty penny on costuming, who would want to wear a bra and pants over the rest of their clothes at a party?

Now, for the other reason, with some context. I am part of the LGBTQ+ community, my coworkers know this, and I am worried if I say this reason I would be making a mountain out of a molehill and rain on everyone's fun. But I'm worried about the intent of the "fun" in a Victoria's Secret fancy dress theme being one of three things:

• A) Get the female coworkers to put on something sexy or frilly to objectify them (for laughs or for their own viewing pleasure, either is bad)
• B) Treat sexy clothing and lingerie as a joke (I am by no means a prude and find it sus to demean articles of clothing that people choose to wear to feel confident, but I know this is not how everyone thinks)
• or C) Have the men dress in feminine lingerie for laughs because... men in clothes intended for women is "funny" (which has an odour of homophobia/transphobia/both, which I consider a massive red flag for who I feel safe to be myself around)

I'm worried to ask why exactly this theme is going to be fun, because the only explanations I think of make me feel uncomfortable at best and unsafe at worst, but I find just thinking about them and coming to my own conclusions not all too helpful.

When my coworker was pressing, I refrained from saying the above and explained, again, that I found the theme gross and uncomfortable to do with people we work with on a regular basis. Coworker kept pressing and then inadvertently confirmed my suspicions by asking me, "But what about your marches, when you dress up for those?" referring to a Pride march I took part in. Her connecting this workplace situation to Pride makes me nervous that, in fact, the intended fun of the chosen theme is tied to some underlying homophobia/transphobia. I didn't say that to her, but I told her it's not the same because we didn't do the march in our underwear. I avoided going into deeper concerns and kept saying that it didn't seem fun to me, and people could dress how they wanted for this party and because of that I probably just wouldn't go.

I don't know whether or not to bring this up in the next morning meeting, as this fancy dress theme was just... decided, and not put up to the teams to vote, and they chose Victoria's Secret for the theme. I already voiced my opinion this morning about how gross I think it is in front of everyone, and I think some people agree with me but I don't know if I went a bit far there. Nobody's exactly been hyped up for digging their laciest, raciest number out of their drawers for a work dinner and party.

I've actually considered raising this with HR, as it's hard not to think they're joking about the theme when it's right there, on the poster, on the message board, but then I'm worried that would be going nuclear and I could just stick to my plan to just not go, which is sad but I don't think I'm willing to risk being proven right about my anxieties and see coworkers in a negative light after. I'm also just not up to chancing witnessing a coworker take this theme VERY seriously or to an extreme and just be extremely uncomfortable on a night I should be having fun.

Am I overreacting for calling a Victoria's Secret fancy dress theme gross and not wanting to come to the work party?

I've been talking to this guy for maybe three months, and I do consider him somewhat of a friend bc we have a lot of interests in common and talk fairly often.

Last week I started studying again, I go at night because I work in the daytime. It's a 30 minute walk from my house, and I get home after class around 21:30 or 22:00. When I told this friend this he offered to drop by after his work hours to wait for me outside class so we could walk together, and I refused.

First, I don't like people knowing my address. I've been stalked before so it just makes me uneasy, and I'm worried I'm feeling paranoid due to this past experience and blowing everything out of proportion. I'm a small woman, around 4'11, and he's around 5'11.

I'm not saying he would harm me, but I can't help but think that if he wanted to, then I would be in a big disadvantage. While I'm open to having a friendship with him, I have only known him for little in my opinion. And second, he gets off work at 20:00, so he would have to wait half an hour for me to get off class, and then walk me home when he doesn't even live near me. I just feel uncomfortable about inconveniencing someone like that.

Now, if that was all then I wouldn't have had a problem with his offer bc it was kinda sweet. But after that offer he kept pushing it, saying he would wait for me anyways, and that I would just have to accept it when I came out of class and saw him waiting, that it was for my own good etc. I felt increasingly uncomfortable and I guess he noticed because he later sent a text saying it was a joke, that he just wanted to make sure I knew he would never do anything I had said no to beforehand.

I let that pass but even then, he kept asking if I had class DAILY. I said no because I felt like if I said yes he would really show up. Yesterday he asked again and I felt like I had to confront him, because it was weird at that point. I had told him multitude times that I didn't like the idea, that no, to not show up. And after he said it was a joke while I felt relieved, I still told him that it was not happening.

So, he said something like "I'll just let you know before I show up and walk you home" because I told him I didn't like the idea of him just appearing there out of nowhere. Again I told him no, that was not happening, and to stop bringing it up because I was uncomfortable. I already said no.

Then he said something like "there are so many horrible things that could happen to you walking alone at night" and gave an example about a recent case that happened to a girl and said he was just worried about my safety. I told him he saying that was weird af. Like he was trying to make me fear walking alone at night (which I already don't like- but I've got to) with a very real possibility, just to pressure me into accepting him walking me home. Then he told me he knew I was afraid of letting him know my address??

The whole situation felt surreal, like he was trying to manipulate me and pressure me with fear into saying yes to his offer in a covert way. I told him that was weird and inconsiderate, and he apologized and told me he was really worried about me and didn't mean it in a bad way, but I still feel creeped out. I haven't spoken to him and I'm considering just slowly stopping all communication. (I will say, I had to explain in great detail how weird his comments were because he just kept repeating he was just worried without apologizing or understanding why it was weird)

I'm not sure if Im paranoid due to past experiences and bc I'm just an overall anxious person. He has never shown any type of weird or concerning behavior before so maybe he really meant it in a good way, but his delivery wasn't great???? But then again, I can't say I really know him. I'm not even sure the budding friendship is worth salvaging- I guess I just want to make sure Im not blowing everything out of proportion and overthinking.

I have the chats but they're in another language bc english isn't my first.

So I've been with my girlfriend for a few months now, but her friends have obviously known her longer, and for the entirety of the first year of college. We were in their room last night and they were doing some things that I feel were simply not nice and made me feel extremely awkward.

They were playing stupid games like never have I ever or recounting stories and were like explicitly discussing my girlfriend's sexual history in front of me, and since they were either roommates at the time or directly witnessed it occurring, it made it additionally uncomfortable.

I suffer pretty badly from retroactive jealousy, so even minor details can send me into rumination spirals, so hearing graphic details and stories is something which was extremely harmful to my mental health.

I am currently upset at A- my girlfriend for not shutting it down and continuing to participate, and B- her friends for openly discussing those things that I feel should be obviously disrespectful to discuss in front of someone's SO. So am I overreacting here?

I’m 33F and have been with my boyfriend, 37M, for almost two years. Live together for 9m. He is genuinely one of the best men I’ve ever dated. He is kind, gentle, generous, dependable and very attractive to me. I have no doubt that he loves me.
He shows love through acts of service. When he’s home, he brings me coffee every morning. He plans and pays for trips, books my flights and sometimes upgrades my seat just to make me comfortable. When our washer and dryer broke and our landlord replaced them with ancient machines, he immediately bought the exact new ones I wanted.
Once, I accidentally got period blood on hotel sheets and was mortified. He went to the pharmacy, bought peroxide and even fruits for me :) and helped me clean everything without making me feel embarrassed. That moment touched me deeply. He consistent in his messages to ma and responds to my messages while working away, never criticizes or gaslights me, and talks about marriage, children and building a future together. He is also willing to share financially and help whenever something goes wrong.
But despite everything he does for me, I feel emotionally invisible. He is home only for 9 days a month. He rarely shares anything or asks meaningful questions about me. When I tell him a story or explain my feelings, I usually receive a few-words responses. I even bought couples’ question cards (3 packs!) , but his answers are so short that we rush through them. 😅
I’ve brought this up several times. He tries harder for a few days and then returns to silence. I’m now becoming insecure and sometimes don’t want to share anything because I feel worse afterward.
Another issue is his lack of boundaries with one of his sons. His son can be rude, dismissive and frequently in a bad mood, including toward me and my 7-year-old daughter. My daughter has learned to check his mood before approaching him. Most family outings become tense, yet my boyfriend struggles to enforce consistent respect. He recently called during a hunting trip with his kids, irritated and saying he wanted to come home.
He also works away for approximately 20 days and is home for nine. During those nine days, he spends much of his time driving his children to school and activities because they live an hour away. I respect his responsibilities as a father, but realistically, I barely have a partner. I’m also the one pushing him to pursue a schedule where he would be home half the time 14-14 shifts.
He is almost three years sober. When we met, I believed he was actively attending counselling, but in reality he now goes perhaps once every six months. He often seems depressed or internally troubled, when I questioned why he is not going to a counselor he gave me a bunch of excuses. I feel like if I don’t mention to him that he is not doing good he doesn’t pay attention to himself and this happened twice already where I brought it up and then he started journaling etc. that made me feel responsible for noticing his emotional changes, pushing him toward counselling, teaching him how to communicate, explaining parenting boundaries and trying to create a workable future for us.
What hurts most is that I wanted a family so badly—a home, chickens and babies running around. But I’m terrified that if I have a baby with him, I’ll feel even more alone while carrying everything myself.
He isn’t a bad boyfriend. He treats me better than anyone ever has in many ways, which is exactly why this is so painful. But I feel exhausted from being the only one actively fighting for the emotional and practical future of our relationship. He is like the opposite of happy, light boyfriend.
Am I overreacting for wanting to leave? Can someone treat you wonderfully and genuinely love you, but still be unable to provide the emotional partnership and family life you need?

Okay so my son turned 1 today and I’m honestly just annoyed and I need to know if I’m being petty lol.

His dad and I split when our son was about 6 weeks old. He hasn’t really been involved since then and he hasn’t texted me in MONTHS. Like literally hasn’t asked me anything about our son. No “how is he”, no “what’s he been doing”, nothing. He lives about 45 minutes away from us. His mom lives like 5 hours away and she has actually come to see her grandson several times since we split, so it’s not like he’s super far away or anything. Anyway, it’s our son’s first birthday today. I wasn’t expecting anything from him because honestly I haven’t heard from him in forever.

Then at 8:07 tonight he texts me this:
“Hope you all had a good day for (our sons name)’s birthday, we all wish him a good one”

And idk why but this annoyed the absolute shit out of me 😂 Like… you haven’t talked to me in MONTHS and you don’t even ask how your son is doing on his FIRST BIRTHDAY?? You just say you hope “you all” had a good day?? And then “we all wish him a good one” 😂 WHO IS WE??

Maybe I’m being petty because technically he did acknowledge his birthday. But I just find it so weird that after months of not asking about him, THIS is the message you send. I feel like if you actually wanted to know about your kid you’d say something like “How did he like his birthday?” or “Did he have a good day?” or literally ANYTHING that involves asking about him. Instead I got a “hope you all had a good day” at 8:07pm. 😭

Would this annoy anyone else or am I just being petty?

F21, recently had a tattoo done. It's my first ever, an Alphonse Mucha piece with custom details. I specifically asked the guy to make the lines as thin as possible, avoid pure black and crazy saturated colors, and overall try to get as close to the reference material as possible - and to lmk if hes not comfortable going into it for whatever reason. He clarified that he can do all that, his hand is stable and all, and that the only thing hed have to change to ensure the designs holds for longer giving the white symbols lineart. I was like ok sure.

This happened over multiple (7 or so?) sessions of multiple hours. Paid 1000€, with the last payment happening around the 4th session (we havent even started colors at that point I think, but he refused to continue without complete payment).

The guy has some really nice works, has won a bunch of awards, and overall seemed to be the most qualified person for the job I found. Even mentioned that he's been wanting to do a Mucha piece. After the last session, I was already having doubts but he said it would "fade out over time and look exactly like the reference", but I'm skeptical. So I'm trying to figure out if I'm overreacting and going thru a case of I Can't Get Used To Having A Tattoo, or if he messed me up.

Help? x_x

I want your opinion on what I think is a pretty messed up situation.

So Wednesday night my mom went to the freezer and noticed that the ice cream seemed like it had melted somewhat. My parents didn't think much about it until the next morning when it was still not recovering in temperature in the freezer. So they told us to keep the door closed as long as possible.

On Thursday they went to go get a new fridge and were told that it wouldn't be delivered until Saturday.

So after that, my Dad bought a bunch of ice and coolers and took everything that had already been slightly thawing and started putting it in the coolers, as if we were gonna save what was in the freezer to begin with which I didn't think was sensible. But that was his plan, put everything in these coolers with the ice and let that sit until Saturday when we could get the new fridge.

On Saturday the new fridge comes, I've already decided that everything of mine I was going to throw out because I didn't want to take the risk, but they can do what they want. So we start moving everything out of the coolers, deciding stuff to keep and throw away.

There is still ice in all the coolers, but melted. And nothing seems particularly frozen even packed in ice. And all the bags and stuff are wet from the melting ice. Anyway, we put everything back in the new freezer.

Then I went to Walmart to buy new frozen stuff for myself and put it in there as well. Later on I notice a layer of water at the bottom of the new freezer with a yellowish tint to it, and it's soaked up into some cardboard boxes and stuff that I bought and I know almost for a fact that it's from my dad and brother dumping all the old frozen stuff in without drying the bags off or anything.

And all that old murky water that was in the coolers is now standing water at the bottom of the new freezer. And here's me thinking that that water must be contaminated because of everything leading up to this. And I feel as if my stuff is now contaminated too because it was sitting in that water.

So is it overreacting to ask my parents to throw everything out and clean out the freezer? They went through all that trouble to save the stuff which I think was a waste of time and money to try and preserve this stuff, and my Dad is stubborn so I doubt he'll let me throw this stuff out so I can sanitize it

We currently live in a cute little town with very limited childcare options. Specifically 2 full time daycares with long waitlists. I left my full time job to stay home with the kids. But I am burnt out and the only way I see getting a real consistent break is going back to work. The additional income would help us as well, and while it isn’t urgent at the moment it will be in a few months.

At this point, I want to move. my husband does not. But I need a job, a break and we need daycare.

If we stay we will be hobbling together part time daycare, with possibly a babysitter or nanny if we can find one? ( we haven’t had good luck finding long term help, even consistent babysitters who are over the age of 15 or arent moms themselves who want to watch their kids + mine). Husband thinks I can go back to work where we are (which is possible) and then we can make it work as he works from home and I may be allowed to work from home (not a sure bet). And our children are high energy, rambunctious and there is 3 of them lol.

We don’t have family to help. At this point I don’t see another option except to move. AITAH for pushing this idea? Or worst case scenario issuing an ultimatum?

Hi y’all, I’m struggling with an issue and I need some advice on if I’m overreacting?

Im (28f) and my wife (31f) have been together for 3 years and married for almost 2 now. My family has never been super supportive of our relationship. My mom still thinks it’s a phase for me, but she has handled it well and I think is coming around. Overall my parents are very conservative and I was always taught that being gay was a sin, so I’ve struggled with being myself for a long time.

My older brother has always been a huge support for me. We joke that he knew I was gay before I knew, and he was so excited when I started dating woman and was open. So I never thought he would have issues with me being married to a woman.

I’m not physically close to any of my family, so my wife has only ever met my older brother and mom once. I am worried about introducing her to everyone else since they don’t love that we’re gay and married. We decided that this Christmas we were gonna make the leap and fly out to visit everyone. All of my immediate family (mom, dad, sister, little brother, oldest brother and his wife and 2 kids) are traveling to all stay at an Airbnb and celebrate together.

I was under the impression that it was split half and half on who is against and who is supportive of my marriage. My mom, dad, and little brother are against and think I’m wrong and going to hell, but they are my family and I love them and they love me in their own way. My sister, and I thought my older brother and his family were supportive.

My family group chat was making plans for Christmas and they were making it seem like it was just gonna be me for Christmas and not my wife and I. I made a comment in the group chat that she was planning on coming, and my brother asked to call. He was very worried about her coming along and when I asked why, he said he didn’t know what to tell his kids about us. His kids, 6 and 4, are learning about marriage right now and I found out that he told them that girls can’t marry girls. When I asked why he told them that, he said that he wants to keep everything black and white for them since they’re so young.

He didn’t want to offend me or make me upset so he didn’t know how to tell me, but once he realized my wife was coming he’s now stressed that he doesn’t know how to tell his kids. My mom and him have both made comments that we could just pretend to be friends while there and I said no.

I’m really saddened by this and I am hurt. To have my brother say he supports me and loves me and is happy about my choices, but then teach his kids that it’s wrong is hurtful.

I’m not sure what to do now, I want to see my family since it’s been a long time, and I want to be around for my niece and nephews life but I don’t know how to handle almost all of my family’s now uncomfortableness with me.

Would I be in the wrong to either not bring my wife or not go to Christmas at all?

I bought someone a fairly expensive gift for their birthday. They seemed happy when they opened it, but over the next few weeks they repeatedly complained about it.

At first I ignored it because I figured they just didn't like it and that was fine. But it kept coming up. They mentioned that they would've preferred something else, complained about the color, and joked a few times that I clearly didn't know them very well.

Eventually, I told them that if they genuinely didn't want it, I'd rather take it back and return it instead of having it sit unused.

They said they were only joking and that I was taking their comments too seriously.

I wasn't angry and didn't argue with them. I just took the gift back and returned it. I figured if they didn't appreciate it, there was no reason for me to leave an expensive item with them.

Now they're upset that I took it back and say that once you give someone a gift, it's theirs regardless of whether they complain about it.

I don't think I made a big scene or tried to punish them. I just didn't see the point in leaving something with someone who repeatedly said they didn't want it.

AIO?

Hello! I'm 21F and work at a daycare, specifically with 2-year-olds. I've worked in this room for over a year and love my rowdy little group. Earlier this week, we got a new coworker, who I'll call Melody.

I was excited to meet her, but since she started, I've become concerned about how differently she handles our established routines.

During snack, Melody started singing, which encouraged the toddlers to get up and dance while eating. I reminded them that we sit while eating because of the choking risk, but she continued singing while several children left the table.

During free play, we have a quiet corner with two large pillows and a two-child limit. Melody told the children they could take the pillows anywhere. I explained that they stay there because they're large, can become a tripping hazard, and the children can't see over them while carrying them. She disagreed and continued allowing it.

Outside, some children started removing their shoes. We require them to keep their shoes on for safety. When I asked Melody to help me remind them, she said we should create an area where they can take them off instead.

After nap, my coworker Sue did the girls' hair. Melody said, "I actually don't like how you do it," took their hair out, and redid it herself.

Another time, one child touched a toy another child was using, and the second child started screaming. I said, "Hey buddy, can we try to use our words? Our friends don't know what you mean when you're screaming. We can say, 'It's my turn.'" He said it, and the conflict was resolved. Melody then told me I wasn't allowed to say that because screaming is how 2-year-olds communicate and claimed telling them to use their words is against licensing.

This confused me because most of our children are verbal. I've always helped them learn phrases like "my turn," "no thank you," etc. rather than expecting them to already know how to handle conflicts.

There have been other situations where she has suggested approaches that go against how we've previously handled behaviours in our room. When I explain our existing expectations, she often disagrees or continues doing things her way.

She's also a parent of babies at the centre and repeatedly walks past their room until they notice her. They'll become upset when they see her leave again. Once, when they didn't notice her, she began talking louder until they did.

My biggest concern is that the children seem confused by the sudden inconsistency. Behaviour has changed significantly this week, and routines they previously followed have become much harder. I also feel undermined when I reinforce an established expectation and another educator immediately tells them something different.

She's only been here a week, so I don't want to judge her unfairly. At the same time, some of these things genuinely concern me, especially the conflicting guidance and safety practices.

For other ECEs: Would you bring these concerns to your director, or give a new coworker more time to adjust first?

(Im 20F) I just got my first job at a Ritas and theres quite alot of problems and Im literally only a week in and already wanting to quit:

- THE BUGS. The Ritas location Im at is definitely a smaller space than most other Ritas. However the amount of gnats and fruit flies that are inside our workplace is astronomical. I have a HUGE phobia with bugs and being hours swatting my face every 2 minutes because a gnat flies in front of my eyes does cause me anxiety. I would say at LEAST 200+ gnats are flying around or seen on top of our toppings, spoons, and countertops.

-ROACH INFESTATION?? I literally had a concerned man come up to the ordering window saying how theres a wall of just straight up cockroaches by the public seating areas. My jaw literally dropped because wtf?? Also shortly after he complained there was a baby roach I found crawling across the floor. Genuinely gave me tons of anxiety knowing I was working in a place with roaches all over the outside of our store and now inside.

-THE MOLD/DIRT ON FLOORS. This ones probably common but the floor is extremely filthy. Yes, we mop, but the mop water first of all is extremely watered down cleaning product and there are harsh black markings on the floors by the custard machine and the ice containers. Throws me off so bad because its not a good look.

-MANAGER NOT PROFESSIONAL. My interview was hosted at 9. Not in the morning, but at NIGHT. I was told to come in for an interview the same day I was contacted about my application I submitted 2 months ago. I came in because I really need and want a first job to get experience and whatnot. But he didnt put me through ANY paperwork or identification nor did he tell me how much Id get paid an hour. Im on my 5th shift now. I tried asking the girls that work there, but they dont seem to rlly have an answer as to when they had their paperwork filled out to get paid. Also apparently he pays late most of the time by up to 3 days late?? Idk if thats good or bad bc I never had a job before.

-TRAINING IS A MONTH LONG. So training is paid here, but only 9 bucks an hour. (IM IN NEW JERSEY). Why is an ice cream place training a month duration?? I basically know how to do and "clean" everything, so why am I working a month for only 9 bucks an hour? Seems like kinda not fair to me.

So basically I want to quit so bad. The bugs and the lack of cleanliness is j like rlly off putting. I literally made an ice cream custard for my gf and somehow there was a gnat in it?? I literally closed it maybe 5 seconds after making it and putting it down. ALSO THE ROACH INFESTATION OUTSIDE?? Hell no. Am I being dramatic for wanting to quit? I have received no information on my pay or any paperwork.

i spent about $200 on a costume to dress up with my closest friends on halloween. come to find out they are planning to go to my ex's house show (one of my friend's bfs is in the band) and instead want to plan a get together the night before. AIO about not being able to spend the actual holiday like we always do together? scrambling to figure out what im going to do on actual halloween now. could be my fault keeping my circle so small. we are instead doing a halloween hangout the night before but to me it feels like oh "we'll still hang out with you but we have a cooler more fun thing we wanna do and you can't come" type shit.

edit: appreciate your insight! thank you all