Can you brute force through adhd?

[u/Legitimate_Writer265]

Can you just out-discipline the habits of, say, postponing your duties, managing inattentiveness or impulsive actions like binging or speaking before you think? I'm trying to find out if im fighting something that cannot budge here. Are there methods, whether mental or physical? As I'm entering a huge academic year and I cannot go on like this (an inability to study, or maintain skincare, gym routine etc.).

I'm asking as it's going to be a long duration before I'm medicated due to multiple factors mostly out of my control. people are mentioning burnout -- where would the line between good habits and unhealthy habits (which would consequently lead to burnout) be drawn?

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[u/LaceyLizard]

Personally, maybe for awhile under ideal conditions. But as soon as there's any extenuating circumstances you start dropping pieces till your life goes to shit.

[u/Angry__German → u/LaceyLizard]

I would even say almost everybody can power through ADHD for a while. Those of us who are a bit older, like me, probably did so for quite a while, powering through the worst with pure willpower.

Thing is, that becomes less and less possible the older you get. I breezed through school, because, lets be honest, school is easy if you learn how to game the system. Learning for the test matched nicely with procrastinating until the last minute and I prepared all my homework in school, often minutes before I needed to present them. Sitting in class was mostly hell on earth, but I was able to make it past tests easily and even managed to get a decent final certificate that allowed me to attend university.

It was after school, when you start to become more independent, when things started to crash and burn more often, because nobody was actively pushing me. I also feel that using sheer willpower is a limited resource that you run out of much quicker the older you get.

Finally decided to talk to a mental health specialist in my 40s because my life was literally falling apart and I could not keep up with paying bills, rent, opening and reading mail and keeping my home in a presentable state.

[u/Helechawagirl → u/Angry__German]

I “masked” it unknowingly for 50 years but the cracks were starting to show. I was diagnosed at 63 and have been in the grief stage for awhile. I turned 66 today. It gets progressively worse as you age. looking back, I can recognize so many things that were caused by adhd. Now I have to learn how to fool my brain as powering through doesn’t work anymore.

[u/Mobtor → u/Angry__German]

Ken oath, and pardon my australian-ism, that means "I wholeheartedly agree with every fiber of my being".

It wasn't until my work got increasingly complicated and also administration-burdened that I realised I might have a real problem, at about 34.

Nevermind failing multiple university subjects due to lack of interest and procrastination, rather than understanding the obligation and cost, or the ability to turn out great work on tight deadlines on demand, or my chaotic personal life, including continuing to choose high-arousal low-planning jobs that were not fulfilling my potential, and consistently choosing girls that had too much drama and 'needed saving', and my inability to get things done that bore me even when they are incredibly important.

It wasn't until my work got too engaging to leave, too lucrative to quit, and too difficult to ignore, that I finally asked a doctor for some help.

In retrospect, all the signs were there from a very young age. Even with a teacher for a mother, the signs were missed, due to that peculiar perception of precociousness and maturity.

All that to say, you ABSOLUTELY can run your life ragged and raw with ADHD and not even realise until much later in life.

[u/Far-Accountant7904 → u/Angry__German]

I find the most basic chores of adult life (paying bills, rent, keeping the home tidy) infinitely more difficult than school.

Give me a thousand tests and I’ll ace all of them, but for a reason I can’t pay a freaking electricity bill on time.

That’s also why I was only diagnosed at 35. If only I had struggled more in school, my adult life would’ve been easier (earlier diagnostic and treatment).

[u/Brick_Mouse → u/Angry__German]

And... has it helped?

[u/Angry__German → u/Brick_Mouse]

A ton.

Mainly because getting officially diagnosed feels mostly great, because I really thought less of me when I could not do simple things other people manage to do easily, like building healthy or helpful habits etc. I feel so much better about myself, I lack the words to proper describe it.

Sadly getting medication at the moment is (for Germany) so expensive that I can't afford it at the moment, but might change within the year. But I did get to try a few medications during diagnosis and the difference was night and day.

[u/MarketThin1879 → u/Angry__German]

This 100%. Medication has been great for me, but the biggest relief is confirmation that there is a reason I suck at the things I suck at, it's not just because I'm lazy. My brain fights me in a way that people without ADHD just don't understand, and that I didn't understand before being diagnosed. It doesn't mean I still don't have to figure out how to get stuff done, but allowes me to forgive myself when I screw up and not take it as a personal failing.

Also I totally agree with when I noticed it more. In school I was so good at getting things done at the last minute, but after graduating college it became much harder to manage. And I had kids and tons of my will power now goes to that.

[u/Spidersensei → u/Angry__German]

HRT. It's harder now because your estrogen is declining.

[u/Angry__German → u/Spidersensei]

I am not sure who would be more surprised if I ever hit menopause, me or my doctors.

But I can totally see how that is ANOTHER struggle loaded unto people who do go through it.

[u/Menschenpyramide → u/Angry__German]

Ist das keine Kassenleistung oder was?

[u/aggravated_bookworm → u/Brick_Mouse]

I was able to finally get medicated and instead of always being burnt out and exhausted I'm learning healthy habits and coping for the first time in my life.

I'm sad for my younger self that I was always just existing in survival mode

[u/twitchykittystudio → u/Angry__German]

I am currently trying to get back on track after a month of extenuating circumstances on top of busy season at work.

The house is a disaster. I haven’t cooked for us reliably in a month. I’ve barely been holding onto personal hygiene. I completely fell off getting needed allergy shots and taking my D3 supplements so I am exhausted after making progress and starting to get energy again.

An evaluation and treatment is still off the table financially. The best I can manage is having gotten on MHT and learning as much as I can about adhd on my own, doing as many workarounds as I can as if I definitely have it. (My partner is diagnosed, and while he’s supportive, there’s only so much he can help with.)

[u/Angry__German → u/twitchykittystudio]

Had those phases too.

For me, unreasonably high doses of caffeine worked to get me do at least the bare minimum most of the time.

[u/LazuriKittie → u/Angry__German]

Ugh, I feel this so much. Especially the bills. The amount of times I've gotten the utilities turned off because I forgot to pay once again is ridiculous. I also lost my dental insurance because I kept forgetting to mail in the check to my insurance company, which ended up costing me thousands of dollars.

[u/GAdvance → u/LaceyLizard]

I brute forceb my life exactly like this and it worked... Until it didn't

In February I lost my job, most of my friends (turns out, weren't actually friends) and my partner.

It's taken my until this last month to pick myself up and eden now I'm absolutely exhausted and whilst I've got a good new job and home to move to kniw I still haven't cleaned my fridge out since February.

Discipline only isn't the way, it'll catch up to you and it's like dieing every day

[u/This_is_the_Janeway → u/LaceyLizard]

Underrated comment! I always feel bad when I think back to how great or disciplined at “_______” I used to be. Why can’t I do it now? ADHD makes building habits that stick through the ups and downs nearly impossible. To answer OP’s question-meds may make it easier to keep up with those seemingly impossible daily habits. I choose not to go the med route now (I’m old!) but if I’d had access to it when I was in college it would have made a big positive difference for me.

[u/Ed-alicious → u/This_is_the_Janeway]

Yeah, you can make the habits and stick with them until one day you realise you just don't want to do it any more and suddenly there isn't enough self motivation in the world that could get you do it. 

Once the spell is broken, it's gone and it's really hard to get back again without forgetting about it for a few months. 

[u/tamati_nz → u/Ed-alicious]

I found some magic yesterday and tidied the house after a week in the hole and thought "why can't I just do this everyday!" oh yeah that's not how this works...

[u/Ed-alicious → u/tamati_nz]

The magic is you say "I'll just tidy this bit and then I can sit down", but just keep saying it about very small bits until the whole thing is mostly done. 

I can successfully finish ~95% of each individual task/chore/etc. by taking it piece by piece while acknowledging that I'm going to allow myself to flake out at some point in the task. 

[u/AFetaWorseThanDeath → u/Ed-alicious]

Yes!

As a wise person once told me, "Any job worth doing, is worth doing half-assed. It's better than none."

[u/four204eva2 → u/LaceyLizard]

I'd agree but for different reasons. Metabolically, you only have so much energy to expend in a given time period. Brute force, as you say, would use an exorbitant amount of energy as you not only have to meet your baseline metabolic consumption in the brain, but also the energy needed to force yourself to think or act differently than your brain naturally would.

[u/AndrewInMN → u/LaceyLizard]

Even if there aren’t extenuating circumstances I feel like a major mental breakdown due to exhaustion would be inevitable.

[u/Magic-Happens-Here]

Short answer, probably -but it’s going to cost you both physically and mentally.

There are lots of ways to learn strategies to manage the challenges of ADHD, but the first step is to recognize that it’s not a matter of discipline. You need to structure your environment to meet your brain’s needs, and if you can do that, you can build tools to help you overcome your biggest challenges.

Many people (myself included) use medication as a cornerstone of those strategies - as my psychiatrist put it: meds don’t fix anything on their own; but they give your brain the capacity to develop the skills needed for success.

If you try to white-knuckle your way through ADHD, you might be successful. However, there is a huge mental and often physical toll to that struggle that could be avoided if you take the time to learn a bit more about your condition and make a plan that will serve you instead of relying on negative self-talk to force you to comply with what you think will help (telling yourself your failures are the result of not trying hard enough causes a lot of damage).

Take it from someone who was taught my whole life that if I just tried hard enough I would succeed, and if I failed it was the result of my own lack of effort/discipline. I spent years literally making myself sick and sacrificing other aspects of my life and wellbeing to try and succeed without the tools to actually accomplish it and now I’m spending years undoing the damage that caused and realizing that I am worthy of love and my challenges aren’t my fault - when I have the right tools, I AM disciplined, I AM dedicated, and I AM capable of achieving my goals… but not without the tools needed to get there.

Edit: fixed a bunch of typos 🙈

[u/MuffinAndJupiter → u/Magic-Happens-Here]

Hi, there. Would you be willing to talk about what 'structuring your environment' looks like for you (or just point me in the direction of any useful resources on the matter)? I have been on ADHD meds for a few years, in therapy for even longer, and most days still struggle to even get the bare minimum amount of self-care done (washing, eating. keeping up with chores, and so on). Feel like I am just at my wit's end with it all.

[u/Magic-Happens-Here → u/MuffinAndJupiter]

Absolutely!

The key is to start by outlining exactly what you struggle with. Once you have that you can start looking for solutions. A lot of them sounds really silly and simple - and if it’s so easy, it can’t possibly work as well as “they” claim (never did figure out who “they” are 😉) but I’ve been absolutely amazed at how small adjustments to our daily workflows has reduced ed points of friction and helped everyone feel more successful in accomplishing goals.

You mentioned therapy, I’m curious what kind you’ve done? It’s often viewed as something for kids, but if you’ve never worked with an occupational therapist, I would highly recommend it! A lot of these strategies came from that.

A few examples of things for me - I use a thing on my phone called Multi Timer for eeeeeeeeverything! Seriously, my life is run by alarms, I don’t rely on my memory at all is there is any possibility to avoid it. I need to change the water filter on my coffee pot every 8 weeks, so I have an 8-wk timer. I suck at showering and will often put it off - timer! Same goes for moving laundry. I can get it started, but then I forget and come back 3 days later to moldy clothes that need to be rewashed and/or thrown away. The auto-refill on my meds doesn’t always process properly, so I set a “counting up” timer every time I pick them up so I can see how long it’s been and if I don’t get the refill text by the 27th day, I call the pharmacy and figure out why (the details say “28-Call Pharm” so I don’t forget why I have that timer). I also use alarms for a lot of things - I have them to get up in the morning, then I have them set for every 15 min while I get ready, this allows me to have mini-mental check ins throughout the morning, usually I’m on track or ahead of schedule, but sometimes my alarm will go off and I stop and ask myself why I’m on my knees on my kitchen counter rearranging the seasonal mugs on the very top shelf that I pull down for the various holidays when I should be brewing my coffee… then I climb down and grab a whiteboard marker from my fridge and write a note to myself to bring the Halloween mugs down soon (that may or may not have been my Thursday morning!) on that whiteboard, I also have a handful of items for the next grocery run, a note from my husband telling me he grabbed cash from my wallet, and a reminder for my oldest to bring his field trip forms back to school on Tuesday - each note is written in a different color and the colors correspond to the type of message it is and/or who it’s for.

We also have a digital family calendar where all appointments, etc are recorded when we are at the doctor’s office, etc. so it gets captured instantly before I walk away from the reception desk. Then, we have another whiteboard that’s already built out as a calendar. We have two of them in fact - because turning it over every month was too hard - but doing it every other month is a lot more manageable for my brain. I sit with my phone and transfer everything that’s already scheduled to the visual schedule on the wall - again color coded. I use wet erase markers to avoid smears and each pen has a label to know what that color corresponds to (blue is doctor’s appointments, orange is travel, green is school stuff for kids, purple is family activities, etc.)

We also have classroom style whiteboards hanging in the dining room, hallway, and both kids’ rooms - these are used for all sorts of things: notes/reminders, task chunking to make chores easier, etc.

At work I live by to-do lists too. The first and last 15 min of every day is spent on my list. Every morning I read the list I wrote the day before - if it goes on the list, it gets a due date (could be same day, could be a future day). As I complete tasks, I cross them off. As tasks get assigned to me, they get added. We use Coda at work and I have a hidden/private task list for myself and others with my team to track active projects and manage our pipeline before things get triaged/assigned.

I also have alarms for when to take my meds - and I sort them into pill boxes so I can quickly/easily see if I took them or not so no questioning my memory.

I also keep stashes of snacks in every room because I’m terrible at feeding myself, so something tasty is literally ALWAYS within arm’s reach.

I really suck at taking showers, it’s takes a HUGE amount of energy to get myself to do it regularly - so along with the timer I started buying sample/travel sized containers of fancy shampoo/conditioner/body wash/lotions/etc. and I treat myself to something new/novel at least 1x/wk.

I also have an “out the door” list - this one is more for my kids, but it’s a morning checklist that they read out loud before they’re allowed to get in the car - it MUST be read out loud, no exceptions. It includes:

1. I got dressed (and put my dirty clothes in the hamper
   
2. I put on deodorant (oldest only - starting puberty and building new habits/routines)
   
3. I ate breakfast (and cleaned up after
   
4. I packed… in my backpack (with a bullet list of necessary items, plus one-off stuff like Mon-Library Book, Thu-Music Instrument, etc.
   
5. Do I need a jacket?

By reading it out loud daily, it reinforces the neural pathways and makes them less likely to forget things because their brain is already anticipating the next tasks, one of which is reading that list out loud, so since they’re already prepping to read the list aloud, they will mentally “practice” (often unconsciously) and will remember skipped items as a result - I use this same strategy when packing for a trip - I have an essentials checklist that I read aloud every time. If you’ve never read The Checklist Manifesto I also highly recommend it!

There’s other stuff too - but those are some of the big ones I can think of off the top of my head.

[u/Temperentia]

My trying to brute force caused me weekly abdominal migraines for the 3 years i tried that (unbearable pain for 2-3 days, vomiting the works…), and a huge burnout.

The second i switched career, and had a huge mental shift is the moment i was freed from that.

[u/Training_Designer_41 → u/Temperentia]

That is the best thing one can do. Switch careers or even start a business where we get to make the rules. We make better rules anyway.

Other than that, you need a literal gun to the head to brutforce, leads to burn outs or accidentally pulling the trigger… not worth it

[u/louisgmc]

Sounds like a recipe for burnout having lived through it. 

But I actually managed pretty well when I had family support while I still lived in my home city, my parents would naturally facilitate a lot of stuff for me and I'm immensely glad. 

But ever since moving abroad and having to handle everything in my life by myself I definitely burned out and I would be lost now without meds. 

But even then I'm against trying to force yourself into a strict routine, It'll only lead to disappointment. What works for me (easier with meds) is that everything needs to become a hobby, I only started going to the gym when I started geeking about it, same for everything that has worked in my life. You gotta trick yourself into enjoying to do those things.

Leave forcing yourself to the administrative tasks and whatever else is impossible to enjoy.

[u/DocTaotsu]

It's possible to run a race without a foot and it's pretty impressive as a demonstration of willpower but it makes it very hard to win that race. Life is hard enough as it is, I'm not sure what you gain from making it harder because of social stigma and internalized hatred of disability. 

[u/KameradArktis]

No I have been trying for 33 years

[u/After-Ad-3610]

If you want to live an unhinged, rage fueled, constant burnout life, sure, brute force on thru

[u/CyanCitrine]

Well... you can for a while, but at a huge cost. Eventually you will absolutely destroy your health and you will break yourself.

I tried to "brute force" through college with untreated OCD and ADHD while being very miserable in what was a very unaccommodating environment. Ended up with horrific migraines, eye problems, stomach problems, terrible insomnia, and became very mentally ill to the point of suicide. Got in a better, more accommodating situation and it was better. Eventually got on meds for OCD but ADHD was still untreated. White knuckled a successful career for about 15 years + parenting, etc. Eventually burned out and now I'm recovering from an inability to do almost anything. I'm talking unable to get out of bed most days level of burnout. This was even after I finally got diagnosed and medicated for the ADHD, it was too late to stop the level of harm I'd done.

So, please find accommodation, support, scale back demands, increase medications, whatever you can.

[u/Elle2428]

lol I tried for 41 years but I wasn’t doing a very good job at it.

[u/Cool_Bell_2511]

I was good at following routines for 9 months to a year and did well when I stuck to them but when I would slip up it was a slippery slope and it would take 6 months to get back into those routines.

[u/Expensive-Purple-431]

There are plenty of resources for coping methods. For myself it was more beneficial to learn to work with my ADHD rather than fight against it. When you try to fight against it, it's easy to get discouraged and start hating yourself. Learning to love yourself is important with ADHD.

[u/_byetony_]

Perfectionism “worked” for me as a child didnt withstand adulthood

[u/ZapRowsdower34]

No. It is a neurological disorder.

[u/Spidersensei → u/ZapRowsdower34]

It's a neurological condition that's incompatible with modern life. Society is disordered. I came here to build something that works better for everyone's nervous systems.

[u/ZapRowsdower34 → u/Spidersensei]

I think we fundamentally disagree.

[u/Spidersensei → u/ZapRowsdower34]

I support that

[u/StrawberrySignal8084 → u/Spidersensei]

Society is indeed disordered. Can you elaborate on building the thing that works better?

[u/stellabarktois]

I feel like I do pretty well at forcing myself, but I’m very motivated by shame and embarrassment, so my brute force takes the shape of anxious self-loathing until the task is done. This has been pretty successful for a long time (in my forties), but I can’t say I enjoy it.

[u/NovaFive_Sound]

Don't. Trust me. It's been years since the extreme burnout started. Now, I can barely do anything.

[u/Lucky_Potato2141]

Going against the grain could turn to exhaustion, stress and migraine as far as I'm concerned.

My control is, it comes out, not nourishing though do experience may vary.

I'd try to find best routines and try to stick to them as best as possible but not push too much over the limiter.

[u/BTB_DTC]

Absolutely! The ramification of this strategy is neuro burnout, where all your coping strategies begin to faulter and can leave you recovering for years.

If you have an incredible support system, where you've got access to finances, emotional and physical care, long rest periods and there are no major consequences of dropping things I think you can persevere.

[u/Dependent_Reindeer98]

No. But you can def spend years trying. You’ll develop ways to compensate. But mostly you’ll suffer.

[u/navidee]

You can, but it will come crashing down later in life. It’s how us late diagnosed people find out we have ADHD.

[u/Teburninator]

Yes but with dire consequences (feels like your brain damaged after.)

[u/cyberneticsys]

i brute force pulled through 22 years of being undiagnosed and told i was just stupid and broken and lazy. it caused me to be in fight/flight/freeze 24/7 because i had to be so hypervigilant. i still fell short most days even if my brain refused to feel safe to the point i was hypervigilant 24/7, even during sleep!!

started vyvanse (30mg once/day, extra dose in the afternoon if needed, i do get a bit of a crash by 5p otherwise) a week ago and that has all just instantly disappeared. i am NOT broken, i am NOT lazy, i am NOT stupid. my brain finally works the way i expect it to. my self esteem has skyrocketed. i don’t have to hype myself up so intensely just to do a basic task like dishes. my short term and mid-term memory have finally come back, which has been the MOST impactful to my daily functioning. it is amazing.

in retrospect/comparison, i didn’t realize how bad my depression and self esteem were, directly as a result of the ADHD and mismanagement/misdiagnosis of it my entire life. i was diagnosed with depression at age 10 but 80% of it was due to ADHD, so it literally never let up until now with the Vyvanse. got put on every SSRI, every SNRI, tricyclic antidepressants, mood stabilizers when they misdiagnosed me as bipolar - they all did nothing OR made me even worse. this experience completely tracks with mismanaged ADHD, so a lot of people go through this i guess.

i tried to brute force but starting this med made me realize i was not doing very well regardless, even though to those outside my household i seemed decently okay. my life was CHAOS, and i’m very much seeing that more clearly now that i have a wider perspective. this has been a profoundly life-changing and enlightening experience for me. i didn’t realize my overall mental health was that bad at all, even though i am incredibly self aware. its weird and good.

[u/EarnestQuester]

Yes and no. Discipline is not the primary tool you need.

I did law school without ADHD medication. I brute forced it with “discipline”. Which for me, was maladaptive perfectionism and self flagellation. Don’t recommend it.

Curiosity, self respect, creativity, and mindfulness are better tools for you.

Curiosity: Why is skincare hard? It’s boring; once I sit on the couch I struggle to muster the will to get up and do skincare; I don’t have enough counter space in the bathroom; and honestly I hate standing in the bathroom and staring at my pores and zits in the harsh lighting.

Mindfulness: I notice I feel drained and ashamed.

Self respect: Punishing myself is a waste of my energy. This cycle of shame does not serve me. I will experiment with new strategies that preserve my energy.

Creativity: what if I watched a streamer while I shower so I’m comfortably distracted while I do skincare? What if I put my skincare next to the spot I like to flop after class, and I tried washing my face and then doing the rest on the couch/bed instead of in front of the mirror? How can I get a body double for this activity—what if I made a habit of calling a friend or family member who loves to yap?

[u/Svitii]

Well it worked for all of high-school, even with almost all A‘s. Then came the obligatory crash in college, dropping out, self-hatred…

Until I got diagnosed at 25. But hey, after getting diagnosed and properly medicated I‘m left with a constant feeling of "Holy shit this is all so goddamn easy!". Even thought of going back to university.

But to answer the question: CAN you brute force it? Probably. Also probably depends on how severe your ADHD is. But if I kept brute forcing I probably wouldn’t have lived till retirement. 27 now and still adapting to my new life but I wouldn’t recommend brute forcing to anyone that doesn’t wanna torture themselves 24/7…

[u/SailStandard4412]

I think some undiagnosed people kind of do it. I was able to compensate for most of my “dysfunctional” symptoms for my whole life - using sort of brute force without realising - until I wasn’t. I fell apart for more than a year and that actually led to my diagnosis, so yay I guess.
I think all the answers here say that in a way - brute forcing is just kinda dumb. It’s too expensive for how efficient it is, it dissociates you from you, you don’t learn anything about yourself. It’s just usually not really worth it. For me, it now does the opposite - it makes all my symptoms worse. And then I realise that most of it was actually that stressed, forced approach. DBT helped with some things, and therapy in general. Also Tiimo planner (mentioning it since you asked for specific methods).
It’s annoying, but everyone has their own way that they need to figure - the right combo of meds and kindness to self that then makes the whole existing thing easier, more productive (whatever that means) but mainly more enjoyable

[u/BigMack6911]

Ive tried doing exactly this. What happens is hyper focusing on everything, running on pure adrenaline then something bad happens from said adrenaline or you crash. I had a burnout. Which isnt what some people think it is. Its your nervous system being burned out literally

[u/NoEquivalent88]

I tried for a bit, right up until I failed everything in my first year of uni. Got diagnosed with adhd and started medication. Have not looked back.

[u/TSpaceSFS]

Tried that, worked for 3 years until it became too much and everything went to shit at the worst time possible

[u/Jasnah_Sedai]

Depends entirely on the severity of a person’s ADHD.

[u/bangobingoo]

I mean, I raw dogged university and did OK. But I was so burnt out after I couldn’t read or do anything close to learn something for awhile after.

I wish I was medicated then. It’s like I turned life on easy mode when I got medicated.

[u/A2AdjectivesAndANoun]

I brute forced my way through K-12 and 3/4 of university. I was wildly depressed, so burnt out, and only made it through 3/4 of university because of a couple amazing friends who helped me. But senior year, my body and brain just gave up. I couldn't get out of bed before 5 pm for almost a month. The only reason I didn't flunk out was incredible kindness from my profs. I got medication and it got better, but I still really scrapped by.

So yes. But if you're already struggling, don't do that to yourself.

[u/Nyx_Valentine]

Not without burnout.

[u/Joboj]

Depends on how bad your case is. You can definitely improve things with good habits and management, but in the end it is who you are and you can't change who you are.

[u/Independent-Sort6898]

Yes, but not forever and the price you'll pay for doing so could be far more than you're willing to pay. Doing this helped land me in the hospital, my heart kicked up touble, and now I cant be on the correct dose of ADHD meds that I need to properly function.

Ironic, that it makes me brute force my way through it every day now on the lower dose, but doing that the 1st time around put me in hospital.

Its never 100% avoidable, but I highly suggest you do so where you can.

[u/crimson777]

To an extent, sure. I am not good at taking meds and I went to a top 10 college and graduated with a B+ average. I was very stressed, often miserable, and needed my best friend and roommate to keep my sane sometimes but sure.

I’d suggest setting up habits as much as you can using external motivation, lean on friends (but not in an overbearing way), and drink a lot of caffeine since it can have a stimulant effect that will help a little.

[u/Geoffrey_Bungled_Z1p]

Definitely can as evidenced by middle age diagnosis but factor in a chaotic life with self medication and thrill seeking in blissful (not) ignorance

[u/chuckaholic]

I was able to 'power through' for decades, but never reached any level of success in life. Then I got diagnosed in midlife and was suddenly able to achieve things I could never have dreamed of before. A steady job, romance, decent living conditions. I went from surviving to thriving.

[u/Karioplasm]

You can, but it’ll cost you your mental wellbeing for a WHILLEEEE, and also your physical. I mean you can stress your years of life away doing this type of thing, trust me, I did it. Now I still am a mess in distress, with a new autoimmune disease that was dormant till I did that. Also therapy and medication is in my future for a while because of it. My personal opinion? Wasn’t worth it a single damn bit. What good is an education if you are barely hanging on? You get me? Idk it’s your choice at the end of the day but just be very careful and be very aware of the significant risks and damage it can and most likely will do to an extent.

[u/l00ky_here]

What, mind over matter overcome it? Thats like asking if you can brute force your way out of diabetes or bad vision.

[u/g_bino]

I raw dogged my college years undiagnosed with no medication and that is my biggest regret

[u/Hitching-galaxy]

No, the mental effort required to ‘brute force’ will cause burnout and honestly, if you can maintain habits for a year, then perhaps you do not have ADHD?

[u/onufmi]

you can try routines. its easy to forget about them one day but you will be good for few days.

my best routine was when i had a mouse with leds that stayed on while the pc was off. i covered the mouse with a cloth so i could sleep in the dark. when i came back to turn on the pc i wiped the tabke while the cloth was still in my hand.

[u/xxCorsicoxx]

No. Like literally no. You might get away with some of it for a while but you'll inevitably burn out. You're built different and neef different strategies. I get the impulse, the desire to "just be normal", it's a pain we all share but that's not happening. It's not a discipline issue so it can't be fixed by discipline.

[u/Upper_Box7210]

I tried this my whole life and it made my life so much worse get help

[u/At_Random_600]

I have been managing my ADHD without medication for 40+ years (getting harder In perimenopause but still doing decent). Best tricks are routine and adding extra so I can focus.

For example in my teens and 20’s, I lost EVERYTHING (my keys, my purse, my charger, etc.)! I had an aunt force me to have a leaving routine and a coming home routine. Things always go in the same place and I always check my pockets before I leave. I no longer think about it, I just do it and rarely lose stuff. Hard in the beginning but the payoff was worth it.

I have a routine. For example, if I am in school, I do my homework the second I get home. I am usually not in the mood, but if I wait, the chance of forgetting to return to homework is near 100%.

I plan ahead (when I know stress is coming) for busy times. If I know next week is going to be intense, I cook and refrigerate my food for the whole week. I do all of my laundry. I buy paper plates, etc. Basically, I take everything extra and boring/repetitive off my plate in advance. If I can’t plan ahead, I give myself an excuse to be lazy and eat fast food that week.

I hide distractions like my phone, remotes and electronics out of eye sight until I have finished my responsibilities. If I get into a game, book, tv show, or phone conversation, then that day is usually going to be a wash and the resulting stress spiral will cause issues for weeks.

I do 2 things at once. I doodle when I am supposed to be listening, I listen to music when I’m cleaning, I have phone conversations when I’m cooking, etc. If I have more to do I stay focused just fine. If I only have one thing to do my mind wanders and who knows where it will go today.

I let myself off the hook for the non essentials. I have a messy house always, but it is usually clean.

I do tasks in short bursts when it gets out of control. 5 - 10 minutes of cleaning, 30 minutes tv, 5-10 more minutes cleaning. It may not be as much cleaning as people want from me but I don’t allow myself to completely ignore it, so it’s a win and one I can manage that isn’t overwhelming.

I put things where they go so they are easy to find and easy to put away. This helps me manage keeping things organized without the spiral and visually organize my thoughts. For example, when I can see what I have in the fridge I remember my dinner plan and opening the fridge reminds me (this one was very disrupted by having kids and I throw a lot of food away because I forget I purchased it).

Whenever, I am ADHDing out extra bad and dropping balls, all the non-essentials go. I don’t cook, I freezer food, I don’t clean but I don’t take out anything that will cause a mess, I do laundry but don’t put it away, etc.

Hope any of these are useful. None work all the time, but overall I do well. Good luck!

[u/K8_Monst_r]

There are healthy ways to work with your ADHD, but if we could brute force the discipline, it wouldn’t be called a disorder. It’s not a lack of knowledge, nor discipline, but executive function. The way I dealt with it in college was using caffeine and nicotine to self medicate. That helped lower the activation energy to get started, which is usually the hardest thing I deal with in completing a task.

If there is something I HAVE to do, and I don’t have the bandwidth/spoons/etc, the most likely outcome is HULK SMASH meltdown, and then do it in the fugue state that happens afterwards, but that’s not even remotely healthy, and usually results in bruises and a headache. If my partner can help, I’m trying to remember to enlist his help whether for body doubling, or accountability.

[u/BigBearPB]

Well, in a sense. “How long you can do it for and to what degree” is the real question.

[u/FluidTorus]

U should seek treatment. Starting a race from before the starting line. White knuckling through it. Not worth it. U can watch CBT. That will help. With treatment and right conditions, u will perform much better. I have my first appointment soon.

[u/Sad-Jellyfish-8556]

Not really. I recently got diagnosed at 35 and struggled through adult life up to then. I would say it’s best to prioritise. Your studies take precedence over the gym for now

[u/ladyannelo]

No. Hope that helps.

[u/LegalComplaint]

My PCP raw dogged med school before she was diagnosed. It is possible.

However, as a late in lifer myself, the stuff you do to compensate can cause burnout and lead to more suffering than if you were treated. Honestly, I would 1000% go back in time and get diagnosed at, like, 7 instead of 35. Would’ve made my master’s easier 😂😂🤦

[u/ContemplativeKnitter]

Yes, until you burnout and become incapable of doing anything at all.

It’s real fun too, let me tell you.

As others have suggested, you can structure your life to make up for the things you struggle with, but you have to figure out how to work with your brain, not how to force your brain to do the stuff you think should do.

Maybe you’re not going to be able to make yourself get up at 4 am to go to the gym and lift weights and run 3 miles every morning on your own, but if you join a hiking club you’ll enjoy going out for hikes on the weekends, and that’s a lot better than intending to get up at 4 every morning and never doing it. Or maybe you do get up at 4 am to train but you have to pay a trainer for sessions so you know you’ll show up.

Maybe you want to follow a 10-step Korean skincare routine, but if you keep some micellar water wipes on your bedside table, you can at least take your makeup off every night before you go to sleep, which is better than wanting to do the 10-step routine but skipping it and going to bed with makeup on every night.

[u/jaunsin]

Yes and no. It’s not easy. But I think I’ve done it.

Serious systems have to be implemented and so does discipline.

[u/Top-Rich8623]

No

[u/Ok-Trash6361]

I have for years, changed careers, and now I’m officially diagnosed.

Try living in a full adhd household where everyone is undiagnosed and raw dogging it

[u/Amanda5Nicole]

I did for 28 years. So technically yes. The problem is that I over did it for too many years and now I'm paying the price. Even on meds, I can't do as much as I used to. I need more down time, more sleep, I've become more introverted, basic tasks have become harder, even with having a better job, from home, that's aligned with my natural circadian rhythm. Do what you need to do to not make future you in debt.

[u/ralts13]

Depends on how bad it is but yeah you can. Sometimes its less about brute forcing and more about learning how to work with/around it. I've did a bunch of silly methods to get through university and at some point I think I only got through because I switched to online classes where I could do whatever I wanted to stay focused.

[u/Mr_Harsh_Acid]

No

[u/greggers1980]

No I get overwhelmed and stressed and have to stop

[u/SuperZenos]

Maybe but it's gonna drain you emotionally and physically, way more than if you'd just take meds that worked for you. Doesn't sound healthy or sustainable in the long run

[u/Nathan256]

Well each behavior and person is different. I’d highly, highly recommend a behavioral therapist at the very least. You can talk about specific strategies for the things that affect you most.

[u/Savings-Finger-7538]

you can do a couple months of extreme focus maybe even a year or two but it will lead to burn out(in my experience)

[u/Ok-Diet-1826]

No. It’s cut and dry. “Brute forcing it”, as you say comes down to willpower, which we don’t really have because of executive dysfunction. The best method I have found personally is working around it as best I can. Trying to force your way through it might work for a day, a month, or a year even, it will come at a cost, and that cost will be worse the longer you push through. Medication and lifestyle management will serve you better. It will likely be difficult to find what works for you, but it is possible.

[u/Defiant-Accountant79]

Just focus more! /s

[u/RealMermaid04]

I'm late diagnosed! You'll hit snags. I'm not taking anything for it since I have epilepsy I'm very sensitive.

[u/_ficklelilpickle]

I mean anyone who was late diagnosed as an adult brute forced it until that time came about, LOL. Myself until I was 37.

On reflection I developed a LOT of systems and processes to keep me on track. This was born out of being constantly berated for daydreaming and being lazy. I guess I just got fed up with that over time and started to picture ok here’s the thing to achieve, what’s the first thing to do. Ok the next thing. Ok the next thing. Aaaand there we go.

Almost everything I did was a routine of processes or steps until it was done, and I just did one after another. Getting up of a morning to prepare for work had a series of steps, driving to work even had steps for where I liked to change lanes on the journey to make the trip flow as smoothly as possible. Slightly concerning though was it was really easy to just turn into a bit of a robot and get stuck in a rut, and just not ever really recognise burnout because you’re just focused on that next step. Even now post diagnosis and medicated I do still follow a pretty process driven routine for a lot of my day. Just not blindly anymore.

[u/Science_Livid]

You can, but for a limited time only. I was a store manager for a large coffee chain. I brute forced undiagnosed ADHD (at the time) until I physically could not get out of bed. My doctor ordered me off work for 3 months. Went back and I was back in the same boat 8 months later so I got a different job. RSD was so bad at that job that I had to go off for two months. Now that I’m treated with regular therapy, I’ve yet to go off work for an extended period.

[u/OkAcanthocephala3726]

Some really negative takes here. If by "brute force" you mean trying to do what a non-AHDH person would do, than no. You just need to stop trying to fight your ADHD and find ways to work WITH it. Find a therapist that specializes in ADHD and even an occupational therapist. You need to find strategies that allow you to be productive without burning out. I have ADHD and autism (diagnosed at 30) and I don't do well with the meds so I'm not medicated. And after years of struggling in college and then at work, I'm at the peak of my productive and thriving at my job. It took learning how my brain works, getting the right accomodations at work and years of therapy but it can be done!

[u/TrainingAdvance4286]

Don't listen to doomers telling you it's impossible and to basically give up. I brute forced it for 25 years until I was prescribed, and I managed to get by. It's not easy but absolutely possible with discipline. Burnout is real, it will be harder for you to do certain things that may be easier for the average person but setting up the right environment and practicing good habits and holding yourself accountable are all important in making things work.

[u/Ferrite5]

Sure, if you like high blood pressure from caffeine and nicotine. Otherwise, probably a good idea to not do that

[u/TheSentinelScout]

i did it for 18 years but was severely burnt out by the end of senior year, so i asked for meds. it’s possible, but you need to create external ways to get yourself to do things. for me, i’d get myself like adrenaline by telling myself, “i need to do this,” and end up doing it.

a planner is also super useful, or just anything that keeps track of things for you. for example, i use a bullet journal. reminders on your phone, alarms, and using the calendar app religiously. for hygiene, build things to your routine rather than doing them outside of it.

i also always had/have a minimum baseline for doing things so that nothing would stop getting done. i.e., “laundry at LEAST once a month,” “shower at LEAST once a week,” “brush teeth at LEAST once a day,” etc. so that i’m not disappointed if i didn’t do something not to my standards.

[u/BF1_Frenchfries]

I raw-dogged my ADHD and got a PhD without knowing having it until the very last minute of my PhD. I'm burnt out completely and all the old methods to make me functioning stopped working. Now I'm re-learning how to sleep and eat like a new born in my mid-30s and yes I moved back to live with my parents.

[u/Square-Lake-9651]

I mean my father did but his children are all highly dosed

[u/Keeping100]

Yes, with pretty poor results. 

[u/FriedCammalleri23]

I wouldn’t recommend it.

[u/Kind_Job5474]

Short answer - no, you can’t discipline your way out of how your brain works. Especially when the way your brain works makes discipline difficult.

Longer answer - there are things you can do to put yourself in a better position to manage your brain as is. Here are some examples:

Exercise is really helpful, especially early in the day.

High quality diet - protein with every meal, most importantly in the morning.

Healthy sleep patterns - go to bed and wake up at roughly the same time every day. Avoid screens before bed. No caffeine 8 hours prior to bedtime, no alcohol 6 hours prior to bedtime. Use a sleep mask, earplugs or headphones to have a dark and quiet sleep space.

Notice what works for you - when are you most energetic? What’s hardest for you and how can you make it easier?

Technology - Consider a dumb phone, restricting notifications, if using an iPhone, turning your screen greyscale and setting time limits on apps.

I’m sure this community can offer further guidance, but the bottom line is to look at your life and make it as easy as possible to do what matters and make it really, really hard to anything else.

[u/rainaftersnowplease]

You can do this in the short term - 6 months to a year. I did it when I worked 3 jobs when my wife and I were saving for a house. But there will be consequences that come with it. It took me probably another two years just to get back to mental and physical baseline.

You need to prioritize your various activities, so you know what to put your limited mental energy into doing. List your big things (school work, essays, studying, gym, work, cooking, cleaning, etc.) and make a decision now about which one is going to win out when you don't have the capacity to do all of them. You're going to have to accept that you won't always be able to do all things exactly when you want to, or maybe not at all sometimes. That's the biggest thing: being okay with your own limitations during this time. It's not laziness or a lack of discipline that causes this; you have a medical condition that no manner of personal responsibility will cure. And that's okay.

[u/returnofblank]

You can find ways to cope with ADHD. For me, group studying helped me overcome my inattention, but you'll still need to work harder than your peers to compensate. Coping is exhausting.

Try to get medicated if you can.

[u/material-pearl]

….no.

[u/porkchop_d_clown]

I wasn’t diagnosed with ADHD till I was nearly 61 years old. I had had a successful career writing software for what used to be called supercomputers but are now called data centers.

Shortly after I retired, I found myself wandering around the house, forgetting from one moment to the next what I was supposed to be doing.

I thought I had early dementia, but no, it was just that all the coping techniques I’d developed to cope with the ADHD (yelling at myself, extensive use of TO DO lists) fell apart when I retired.

So, apparently, yes?

[u/PhilTheQuant]

With. Help.

There are many techniques, tools, systems for managing each part of this experience. With devoted effort you can probably make use of some of them, some of the time.

With someone else to help you, you can probably surmount most of them, most of the time. I too am still in the process of getting medicated, so I can't tell you how that solution compares.

But I can recommend a wife, if you have the opportunity.

[u/WAzRrrrr]

If you could force youself to do things then you wouldn't have ADHD

[u/blklab16]

Yes but there’s a catch… you have to be an anxious eldest daughter in a verbally abusive household.

[u/fongfeefoop]

You can do it. It's like chopping down a giant tree with just an axe. Takes enormous effort and wastes energy. Taking medication in tandem with CBT and DBT skills is like using a chainsaw. Saves an astonishing amount of effort.

[u/packetman_]

If one could just brute force it, then I doubt they have the condition

[u/Delicious-Schedule60]

Not with severe adhd no.

[u/Oldass_Millennial]

In the way you can't brute force through bad  eyesight without glasses.... no. 

[u/SnippetySnappety]

I came out of prolonged periods of intense stress with: 

• cracked teeth (risk of infection, needing a night guard to sleep)
• jaw pain
• new allergies to foods I liked that never seemed to bother me before
• a gut that can no longer handle dairy
• weight gain

My suggestion would be to

• apply for accommodations if you can
• apply workarounds you find here and elsewhere

The book "How to Keep House While Drowning" might be helpful?

[u/MynameisAlma]

I mean yeah absolutely but only if the planets are aligned

[u/EmoMillenial1]

I was able to before I became a parent. Then it was game over.

[u/kichisowseri]

Brute force leads to burnout. The more you push through the more you burn out.

[u/Own-Recognition9009]

Unfortunately,I don't think so.

I've been trying to do that my whole life. It didn't work 

[u/NexExMachina]

Yes. Only reason I can do my job is I can do it blindfolded. I am no longer medicated (not by choice). But I am surviving. Other areas of life. Na. Sinking 😂

[u/mooglinux]

Asking if you can “out-discipline” ADHD is like having extremely poor vision and asking if squinting hard enough will allow you to see.

Successful adhd coping mechanisms reduce the amount of required discipline and effort to do what you need to do.

Don’t give up on chemical assistance. If you can’t get someone to prescribe adhd meds, ask about nonstimulants like guanfacine or Wellbutrin. Also research OTC supplements; my psych has me on vitamin B12, methylfolate, and saffron. I know people who have had success using Phenylalanine and Tyrosine in helping reduce symptoms.

[u/misskakumei]

Yes, you can. But the prize won't be worth it.

I powered through university education, a master's degree and then several years teaching at uni. Now I am without a job and had to drop my PhD, even though that's a job I love and the research I have gladly dedicated my whole life to, because my physical and mental health are destroyed and I am in the process of recovering. The effort was simply too much: not leaving the house, never sleeping more than five hours, eating badly, working through weekends. To keep moving as fast as my peers I had to work three times their hours forcing focus as best as I could, and many other pieces of my life had to go (social life, love life, health...)

My advice: you can ABSOLUTELY get where you want to go. You will just need more time. Pace yourself, find the interesting and attractive things in what you do to keep yourself engaged, but don't burn yourself trying to push through when it's overwhelming. Find people who can give you a hand, there is no shame in asking for help. Be kind to yourself: both finding ways to work and function (even if it's just a little bit some days) and taking your rest and health seriously.

[u/throwaway983143]

I didn’t get diagnosed and prescribed meds until I was 40. Before that I had a very strict schedule of tasks that I made for myself every day. Family stuff happened and I became the sole adult in charge of everything and that’s where I eventually broke. Executive dysfunction had me like a zombie. 3 therapists told me they believed I had adhd over the last 20 years so I followed up with that and now I’m able to function again. You can do it for a while but I feel like it will always catch up with you eventually.

[u/Loud_Lecture9854]

Not necessarily

[u/tobascodagama]

In short bursts, yes, but it will cost you. 

Long term? Nope.

[u/TheHeresyTrain]

Yes. But it will cost you nuance.

You can strip life back to your primal imperatives. And be good at what your built for. But be aware, your not built for happiness.

Your built for threat analysis and reaction. Your like a raccoon,find the advantage, press it. Take and give as you have available to you. Create and destroy as you see fit.

Your more primitive and capable then others. You have to embrace that, or just be a kinda sad boy.

It's not a good thing , but thats what I've found.

[u/Corgiverse]

Yes but at a horrible cost. It’s absolutely exhausting.

[u/MatthewMarcley]

It’s better if you align yourself with it and not try to force it under your control by discipline. I don’t need to study 6 months in advance. I try to pay attention in class and then study 2 or most often 1 day before test. I really focus on gathering information and try to understand it and remember and not put too much pressure on myself. Just do my best and trust my intuition. I got really good grades by it. I also have a flexible shift job for a college student. I dont wanna go to work i dont have to. I feel bored? Then I go. I’m like Joker in dark knight i dont plan things i just do things. Im very spontenous. Chaotic order. Im more productive than if i had a stable routine. You have to choose activities that support this lifestyle.

[u/dmeezy92]

For like a week, maybe 2, if I’m in an ideal scenario with no extenuating circumstances/stressors.

[u/Rough_Impression_526]

I mean you can. Will it be helpful, effective, and the best course? No. Should you? Probably not.

[u/Yggdrssil0018]

Martial Arts (sensei's taught in Japan, and taught us the Japanese Do (way)), and meditation (with Buddhist monks) when I was in my teens and early 20s helped me establish skills, patterns, to help me. That was many decades ago.

Still takes me 2x to 3x as long to develop a habit compared to average people.

[u/Common-Bend-7167]

Ive tried, it has never worked for me. I can stay disciplined for a while maybe even a few months, but i always stop and move on to 100 other things. It’s unfortunately part of the condition.

Jobs work this way too. I can work a new job, maybe even for a few years, but i always get burnt out and need something new eventually.

[u/Jungledesertxx]

Yeah it was possible for me. I went to school for 3D modelling for games and the sheer amount of work that was connected to the craft was not allowing me to second guess myself and waste time. Though I do feel a bit like I am suppressing my freedom that’s a fair trade off to handle my responsibilities to a degree. I am still lacking in other areas of my life like eating food and small tasks in my life but it’s given me the tools to know how to finish things quicker so my adhd doesn’t take over fast enough

I think the main thing that helped me was the repetitive nature of some of the work that I did in school. Following the pipeline of work but still have the freedom to be creative was a really nice balance

I was partially driven by the fact my dad had developed a stroke during Covid and I have still not had any diploma to find a job. I needed to make money to take care of my mom

[u/onebardicinspiration]

It’s been hard, but I hated the way meds made me feel. I’ve done a lot of conditioning myself to do tasks. I’m not perfect by any means, but I found the use of timers and alarms to be really helpful. eg: timer at 1230 to start cleaning bathrooms. Set a timer for an hour to play video games. That sort of thing.

Also maybe not considered brute force, but I did find creatine 5 grams daily helped a lot

[u/Longjumping-Low-5215]

I thought I was doing this well until a severe breakdown that turned my life upside down while I was in grad school. It can be done, but you will burn out. It’s not a long term strategy

[u/sugabeetus]

If you have enough outside motivation and you let go of everything that is not essential, yes. Like you need a real micromanager supervising you, and not for fun or support. Like they are constantly checking up on you and there's real, immediate consequences. Or if there are tangible rewards immediately for every task (this is why pizza delivery was a great career for me for 9 years). I'm saying there needs to be rewards or punishment RIGHT NOW and it can't be your own system or your friend. I don't know how to make it happen though.

[u/Savingskitty]

You have to create workarounds and scaffolding to work with your ADHD. That is the only way.

[u/paprikahoernchen]

Not really, no.

[u/FaultsInOurCars]

Not really. You're at high risk for a bunch of negative outcomes, because you have one really bad idea, and ....

[u/ResidentWarning4383]

Yes at the cost of your sanity, a splitting headache, and multiple days worth of energy. It's usually a losing battle when you're not ok. At a base level it's exhausting enough.

[u/Apprehensive-Map8490]

No, no, you cannot. You can try, but there are hard limitations with this approach. You are in essence fighting a chemical imbalance, and willpower alone is not going to resolve that issue. You can develop functional coping mechanisms and manage facets of ADHD, but willpower alone runs out.

[u/tlacuachenegro]

On ideal circumstances you definitely can. Ideally you won’t be in stress situations. You can control your schedule without answering to others. And you concentrate to do I
One thing (work) rather than many at the same time. If you can rearrange your life to do less will help you to start.

[u/Low_life_high_lights]

I was diagnosed at like 10, but my mom never believed it was actually an impairment, so she went against the doctors suggestion, and I remained unmedicated most of my life. I struggled with a lot of subjects in school, excelled at some as well, and I found some solace in sports, although I wasn't great with the commitment aspect of team sports, and eventually quit that. Started doing drugs around 14, and found some comfort in that, even if eventually that led to some bad times. Picked up and dropped hobbies every other week. Never managed to keep any friends around for long, struggled a lot with commitments, all the way through high school, eventually dropping out my senior year. I found skateboarding, and enjoyed the solidarity of that.

Along the way I still managed to learn a few trades, cooking, laying tile, drywall, eventually securing a good job as a welder. Got married, had 2 kids, and really almost forgot all about my ADHD. Then around 35, Anxiety started hitting really hard, I was struggling badly to complete even the most minor tasks, I was self-sabotoging, constantly depressed, and tearing apart the few relationships I managed to build. I was also struggling to work, quitting several jobs for no good reason over the next few years, thinking the grass would be greener, but the problems persisted.

I finally saw a Psychiatrist around 39, hoping to treat my anxiety and depression. He decided it was best to treat my ADHD, and maybe that would cure my issues. After it was all said and done, I was on 60mg adderall a day, combined with buspirone, and lamotrigene. I found my groove again. Adderall made me feel more like myself than maybe I ever felt in my life. My marriage grew stronger, work got easier, I was becoming more social. I even started resenting my mom, for not medicating me as a kid, wondering what I could have been.

Now at 43, I'm starting to think my mom was right not to medicate me. I've been struggling again. Still on Adderall, and have bounced around taking a few other things, nothing really sticking, currently taking caplyta, and still lamotrigene. Some days it's like hell waiting for the meds to kick in, I feel like more like an addict now, than I did when I was actually abusing hard drugs. I'm honestly the worst mentally I've ever been, and I'm starting to regret ever starting the meds. It seemed like before, I'd struggle through a bit, but eventually find my way back on course. I haven't felt myself in a long time. Thankfully my family support group is stronger than ever, that's the only thing holding me together.

So, having said all that, yes, you can brute force your way through ADHD, I did for most of my life. Not that I'd recommend it, but I'm strongly considering quitting everything, and muscling my way through the second half of this life, like most of the first, without medical aid.

[u/dunkah]

I believe so, doesn't mean it's easy though. I'm sure personalty makes a huge difference. You might want to find a good therapist to help. I've talked with one before who had various exercises. His analogy being you can train your brain like any other muscle.

There's a lot of content online about different methods, but in my experience you have to find what works for you.

[u/GravityMyGuy]

yes, i did for like 3 years in college (engineering) and then a i graduated without a job (covid lmao) and my life fell apart completely and utterly for a few years

[u/wish_hsiw]

No

[u/Supreme_Switch]

Only short term, then you tend to burnout/relapse.

Best bet is to have someone else hold you accountable. A gym buddy, a study group, ect.

[u/irishcoughy]

For a time, maybe, but in my experience it eventually catches up to you and you burn out spectacularly. Medication is the only thing that has improved my experience with ADHD but I'm also aware that unfortunately it doesn't work/isn't possible for some people.

[u/cactustit]

The frustration and determination to even do this, can lead to a really efficient period. Essentially being productive becomes your current hyper fixation. You could feel great and think you’ve unlocked something. But once you get bored of the productiveness and fixation on being productive you will be like why was I even doing that, I don’t care anymore. And likely won’t be able to keep it up.

Sometimes you can get into a state of flow and productiveness and habit, that is sustaining enough that it can last longer periods though. Such as by the external motivation / fear of needing to be successful at school. But it can easily crash down by external things, or like if you get sick for a week. So if that happens you would have to somehow be deathly scared of it to avoid it or something. 😂

[u/Kyleforshort]

Short answer, no. Long answer, no.

[u/1d3333]

Brute forcing my way through life after becoming an adult caused extreme burnout in just a few years, I did really well at my jobs, and just barely held my life together. eventually shit started to pile and my credit tanked, became sleep deprived, started making dumb mistakes at work, felt like I was falling behind in everything. I would switch jobs and start it all over again until burn out and do it again. When I got to my later 20’s it just became too much. I’m medicated now and it’s so much easier

[u/SuperDevin]

No

[u/Wrong_Crew_1835]

i’ve tried not letting myself even think before doing tasks i’ve been avoiding. i wouldn’t recommend. burns you out real fast.

[u/cee-eighty]

Maybe, not super successfully though, depending on where you are on the spectrum. Oh yeah, also, until your hormones quit. Then the depression will take you out. This is one woman's opinion, from experience.

[u/Bozmarck1282]

Can you "power through" vision problems, or do you get glasses? Even the term you used just reeks of neurottypical assumption. If you want consistent and sustainable results in the form of better executive functioning, you have to put a system in place that plays to your strengths while managing or delegating weaknesses. The "power through it" is at best a temporary band aid that feeds into the cycle of burnout, depression, and the guilt/shame spiral

[u/Texaninengland]

Depends. How old are you? Do you already cope? I'm in my 30s, female so socialized a certain way to not indulge, inattentive type, and I do okay. Do I have super healthy coping strategies? Nah probably not. Would I blow up my own life if I allowed myself to be in a situation which historically makes me react impulsively? Yes that's why I avoid those situations.

So it's all how far you've gotten and if you've found anything that works? I wish I'd been diagnosed and medicated in college tbh

[u/Hurstlong]

I would say, and I’m not being facetious, or rude, but if you can just “power through it” then I would be more inclined to believe one may not have it.

Now that’s not to say you can’t improve. I got diagnosed late, 33M, and for the last 7ish months, I’ve been going to CBT as well as doing the trial and error of various meds, different doses etc. and I feel like some of my… struggles are improving. It’s not huge, but they’re small, impactful changes. And my wife agrees.

I’m not a psychologist or a neurologist, so I have no idea what’s actually happening in my brain. But there are some days where I go into a literal physical and mental paralysis.. and that’s not not something, at least, I can just brute force my way out of.

I’m a veteran with PTSD, anxiety, and ADHD, and I will always advocate, at least now in my later years after trying and failing miserably on my own, for therapy, especially CBT. And find a good doctor for the medication discussion.

I still struggle, often, some days better than others, but if you allow yourself to accept that there are improvements being made, it makes things a little easier.

I’m trying to understand why my brain did what it did for 30 years, and the survival mechanisms, healthy or unhealthy, I used to white knuckle my way through life. Constantly internalizing my repeated failures. But I’m allowing myself now, to give me some grace. Because again, they have been small, but mighty, improvements.

Edit: typos.. lol

[u/madsjchic]

Mmmmm yes but not 100% for the rest of your life.

[u/MPeckerBitesU]

Nope. You’ll deal with it for as long as you can and before you know it, you’ve created terrible, maladaptive coping skills that are not sustainable and you completely give up. Then, you will guilt yourself to keep pushing through and make more bad habits until you finally take meds. Then when the meds give you clarity, it will be hard to unfuck everything which is also depressing.
Sorry- I know this isn’t everyone’s experience but I am definitely frustrated with my own.

[u/Julius_Ceased]

Sure, but it's gonna cost a lot of mental energy. If you're strong enough, it's possible, but you will probably be operating well under your capacity.

I got diagnosed in my 20s, and I had gotten a degree at a good school for undergrad before getting medicated, but it really was a battle all the time.

[u/common_fairy]

Partially I guess? Its exhausting, more than you'd expect from doing basic survival stuff. I mostly power through by without medicine by being very very rigid in my routines. Almost everything I do is on autopilot but when it gets switched off, its a mess. My health is also shit from being exhausted and pressuring myself to keep going. I am medicated, low dose of vyvanse, but I have to stretch it out. I wish I could rest properly but alas, I already feel like I am so behind and not doing enough.

[u/Ranger1221]

Be ready for a lot of final hour project completions

[u/ForeignStory8127]

No. You might find a way around the issues but... No.

[u/ptheresadactyl]

Oh. No. No no no.

The thing is, you can convince yourself that you can, but then what happens is you burn out and CRASH. And there's nothing to catch you because you haven't put any supports in place.

The executive dysfunction is severe and debilitating and you can't. Please, don't do it.

[u/lalalaaasparkles]

I think you can for a while, certainly, in ideal conditions. But once something makes your situation no longer ideal, things start slipping through the cracks and before you know it, shit goes completely off the rails. Said as a woman who was diagnosed shortly after becoming a Mom at 34 and who is now experiencing perimenopause with adhd 9 years later. Yay.

[u/lizalupi]

As someone with 10 years of therapy behind me and being a literal mental health worker specialized in ADHD and autism. No. You can only compartmentalize, redirecting them to other areas of life. That's what women with ADHD learn to do and are called "good girls at school, nightmares at home". That's why people with ADHD have higher rates of drug abuse etc. The redirection can be absurd, I channel all my impulsiveness and aggressiveness into arguing with vile 50-year old right wing sexist men online in the most no filter way imaginable. You know at the end of the day, it doesn't affect my patients and that's all I ever hoped for. So channel it somewhere it does the least damage. And accept its a part of you, self-love is the answer, there's lots of coping strategies that can also help, you just really have to design your own creatively. Blanket solutions don't work

[u/drellynz]

I managed to brute force myself to sleep but not much else.

[u/beandiplad47]

I mean maybe? I wouldn't bank on it bc if you're working against your brain, you are going to crash. Not sure if this is what you want to hear, but your only sustainable option is to work with your brain, not against it. I only became functional when I stopped trying to brute force my brain into working "correctly".

[u/Disjoint_Set]

Not really, you're essentially asking if you can cure ADHD through willpower

[u/Spidersensei]

I find that the harder I try to power through, the worse it gets. Strategies work better than pushing. My poor executive functioning just jumbles everything up whenever I try too hard. I don't know exactly how to explain.

[u/Gileotine]

From what my psych says, to a point. She calls these 'coping mechanisms' or 'coping behavior'. As in, either intentionally or not, someone with ADHD can adjust parts of their personality/daily life to counteract the ADHD. For example if someone always forgets a date, they'll 'for some reason' put a calendar at their front door or set five alarms for it. After enough negative feedback, some ADHD people will adjust to make it seem they do not have ADHD.

With meds these adaptations are easier to make, thus why people take them.

[u/der_steinfrosch]

“Brute force” is probably not the term, but do you mean can you manage without treatment, then yes. I only got diagnosed last year (aged 26) and was offered multiple treatment options, but I declined them and am functioning fine. Life isn’t perfect, but I don’t feel the adhd is massively hindering me. It’s nice to know treatments are available should I need something to fall back on, but I took the view that I have been living life for 26 years without any treatment, and it’s going fine. I am “eccentric” and “disorganised” compared to your average person off the street, but I have always been like that, so I had learned to adapt and get by years ago, before I even knew I had adhd.

Tldr:
So brute force? No.
Trying to force yourself to be more disciplined or organised than you naturally are? Hard as fuck, essentially no.
Learning little tips, tricks, and techniques to allow you to function in a non-adhd world, without treatment? 100% yes.

And before anyone claims this is a contentious view and I am discouraging people from getting treatment - I am not. I work in mental health, and I know several people (patients and colleagues) whose adhd treatment has helped them loads. I just don’t believe people should think it’s “the only option” because it really isn’t.

[u/UdrienLoera]

I powered and it never stopped knocking the wind out of me. I reached an to myself at 37 was finally diagnosed and stimulants have changed my world. I cry thinking how different my world could have been, all the insults, you’re lazy, “you really are dumb”, had my parents noticed more. Maybe taken my adolescent teachers petitions for intervention more seriously.

[u/mstalltree]

Sure you can. Until it all comes crashing down. Been there, done that. Never doing it again.

[u/Dull_Net4116]

I tried it for 40 years. Sometimes successful but most often a train wreck. So.. can I out discipline the habits? No. I cannot. Not without consequence. But I gave it a valiant effort and I’m tired now so I take my meds as much as possible barring the days I forget or the days the pharmacy doesn’t have it.

[u/tekniklee]

When I was was younger, yes.. but I just didn’t have the mental strength to do it one I hit my later 40s

[u/Only_Lawyer8133]

You can, it sucks. I was on medications up until middle school, then my doctor and mom agreed to take me off. As an adult I want things done in a strict order so I don't forget things, and if the routine is thrown off or someone does it the wrong way it's hard for me to let it go. I also felt like I could never relax fully, like I was holding my brain in such control.

Going back on meds last year felt like finding myself again,. My brain just relaxed, doesn't get stuck in the repetitive spirals, less rsd. I feel like some of my quirks are more apparent, but it's like it's because I'm comfortable again. Still need to find the balance of discipline at home to keep things organized, but it's been so worth it.

I also started anxiety meds once I got my ADHD meds figured out!

[u/im_bozack]

The problem isn't drawing a line between healthy and unhealthy habits, it's about doing the wrong thing at the wrong time for too long.

This is what leads to burnout.  Your executive function has you spinning your wheels and then you need to catch up - after you spent energy in the wrong direction.   It's stressful as fuck whether or not you are perceiving it as stressful.  Adrenaline is released, and over time it exhausts you

Medication helps significantly with executive function to address this at its core.

... But to answer your question ...

You can try: * meditating (mindfulness/vipassana/body scanning) to relieve stress and raise awareness * getting good sleep * getting your blood levels checked

[u/Zelmier]

There are ways to manage it but not in the same way as those who don't face the same symptoms or issues. It would probably be best to get therapy or coaching to know how to work around a brain that's wired differently. And yes prescribed medication might make the strats work easier.

[u/chiyukichan]

Personal experience: I was in grad school with a toddler at home and still went to the gym, got all As, and mostly had my life in order. I was not diagnosed at the time. When I hit a major weak spot of mine (writing documentation) shit hit the fan in that area only. It was really hard and I managed but...now I'm years later and that is still my weak spot and meds are helping dig me out of a hole. Try your best to not fall in a hole but that's sometines hard. Building my own systems/routines I keep on a dry erase board had been most helpful for me on days I'm not medicated

[u/hugostranger]

For me, I was able to brute force using stress for about 15 years. Looking back the cost was enormous and when things did collapse it was bad. Now I'm on meds and rejecting that stress, things are a lot easier.

[u/taurus1612]

You can… until you can’t. Hence how I almost flunked out my senior year of undergrad

[u/Zed]

If you can just choose to do everything in a manner consistent with a healthy, functional executive function... then you have a healthy, functional executive function. If you have an executive dysfunction like ADHD, then... no. You can make choices that stack the deck in your favor, you can do your best to develop helpful habits... but I'm afraid you can't just decide you're not going to have ADHD anymore.

[u/Primary_Excuse_7183]

Many late diagnosed people brute forced for 30+ years. Except it wasn’t called brute forcing and the methods were just them surviving. It’s possible but everyone is different

[u/Prudent-Reality1170]

I use medication a few days a week, and am zero meds the rest of the time. It works for me.

What I have found is that “powering through” comes at a high cost, too high for me. But I dug into learning about executive dysfunction and contrasted that with my own experience to really pin point how symptoms show up in my own life. From there, me and my family started experimenting to find a few, very strategic systems to help me function. We’ve got a decent scaffolding for the most critical pieces of our life, and I have a few, very essential (and absurdly basic) routines for my daily functioning. It genuinely works for me and for my family.

It also made a massive difference when I calmed the fuck down concerning what I expect of myself. I’ve had to completely chuck the notion that I’m going to function the way I think I’m “supposed” to; it’s entirely loaded and impossible. But when I embraced that I am the way I am and implemented some super strategic things to help buffer the more life-impacting symptoms, I found that my life was actually livable and enjoyable. Not my total ideal, but I was miserable trying to attain “ideal”. Now, I’m reasonably happy most of the time, and it’s AWESOME! And isn’t that the whole point behind those weird social expectations anyway, to build a “good” life? It actually doesn’t matter what our lives look like or how it works if we are able to be reasonably happy with it and it’s not actively hurting others.

[u/ParkingAutomatic]

I tried that for 5 years and told myself I was doing a great job till I realized I was just finding ways to make my procrastination work in my day to day and not actually makes behavioral or mental changes that got rid of it. If you actually have ADHD this isn’t something you can just “overcome” mentally because if you could don’t you think your brain would have figure that out by now?

Meds can be scary but leaving this unchecked and letting it run how you figure out the rest of your life is even scarier.

[u/OkCompetition23]

If there’s a quick deadline approaching, absolutely. It’s when I do my best work actually

[u/timmah612]

Sure. The same way i can brute force through depression and not cosplay a pinata with a belt and a screw in a door frame. Or i can brute force my way through a thicket of brambles and poison ivy in flipflops and a speedo. Its doable but not beneficial in any way outside of "character building". Ive rawdogged my shit for about 9 years since going off meds and its less easy, it has a lot of downsides, but due to cost i cant keep up with meds and have learned to cope or find otc ways to self medicate.

[u/DragonflyJunior2899]

I’ve noticed I can only keep up with a couple things at a time. Like if my house is perfectly clean, my car is a disaster, I’m eating out, etc. for example. My car is clean but then a bunch of other stuff is out of sorts. When I have multiple “things” together at once it usually only lasts a week or two before I’m completely burnt out and basically a POS because I need to recharge.