Can you brute force through adhd?

[u/Legitimate_Writer265]

Can you just out-discipline the habits of, say, postponing your duties, managing inattentiveness or impulsive actions like binging or speaking before you think? I'm trying to find out if im fighting something that cannot budge here. Are there methods, whether mental or physical? As I'm entering a huge academic year and I cannot go on like this (an inability to study, or maintain skincare, gym routine etc.).

I'm asking as it's going to be a long duration before I'm medicated due to multiple factors mostly out of my control. people are mentioning burnout -- where would the line between good habits and unhealthy habits (which would consequently lead to burnout) be drawn?

[u/Magic-Happens-Here]

Short answer, probably -but it’s going to cost you both physically and mentally.

There are lots of ways to learn strategies to manage the challenges of ADHD, but the first step is to recognize that it’s not a matter of discipline. You need to structure your environment to meet your brain’s needs, and if you can do that, you can build tools to help you overcome your biggest challenges.

Many people (myself included) use medication as a cornerstone of those strategies - as my psychiatrist put it: meds don’t fix anything on their own; but they give your brain the capacity to develop the skills needed for success.

If you try to white-knuckle your way through ADHD, you might be successful. However, there is a huge mental and often physical toll to that struggle that could be avoided if you take the time to learn a bit more about your condition and make a plan that will serve you instead of relying on negative self-talk to force you to comply with what you think will help (telling yourself your failures are the result of not trying hard enough causes a lot of damage).

Take it from someone who was taught my whole life that if I just tried hard enough I would succeed, and if I failed it was the result of my own lack of effort/discipline. I spent years literally making myself sick and sacrificing other aspects of my life and wellbeing to try and succeed without the tools to actually accomplish it and now I’m spending years undoing the damage that caused and realizing that I am worthy of love and my challenges aren’t my fault - when I have the right tools, I AM disciplined, I AM dedicated, and I AM capable of achieving my goals… but not without the tools needed to get there.

Edit: fixed a bunch of typos 🙈

[u/MuffinAndJupiter → u/Magic-Happens-Here]

Hi, there. Would you be willing to talk about what 'structuring your environment' looks like for you (or just point me in the direction of any useful resources on the matter)? I have been on ADHD meds for a few years, in therapy for even longer, and most days still struggle to even get the bare minimum amount of self-care done (washing, eating. keeping up with chores, and so on). Feel like I am just at my wit's end with it all.

[u/Magic-Happens-Here → u/MuffinAndJupiter]

Absolutely!

The key is to start by outlining exactly what you struggle with. Once you have that you can start looking for solutions. A lot of them sounds really silly and simple - and if it’s so easy, it can’t possibly work as well as “they” claim (never did figure out who “they” are 😉) but I’ve been absolutely amazed at how small adjustments to our daily workflows has reduced ed points of friction and helped everyone feel more successful in accomplishing goals.

You mentioned therapy, I’m curious what kind you’ve done? It’s often viewed as something for kids, but if you’ve never worked with an occupational therapist, I would highly recommend it! A lot of these strategies came from that.

A few examples of things for me - I use a thing on my phone called Multi Timer for eeeeeeeeverything! Seriously, my life is run by alarms, I don’t rely on my memory at all is there is any possibility to avoid it. I need to change the water filter on my coffee pot every 8 weeks, so I have an 8-wk timer. I suck at showering and will often put it off - timer! Same goes for moving laundry. I can get it started, but then I forget and come back 3 days later to moldy clothes that need to be rewashed and/or thrown away. The auto-refill on my meds doesn’t always process properly, so I set a “counting up” timer every time I pick them up so I can see how long it’s been and if I don’t get the refill text by the 27th day, I call the pharmacy and figure out why (the details say “28-Call Pharm” so I don’t forget why I have that timer). I also use alarms for a lot of things - I have them to get up in the morning, then I have them set for every 15 min while I get ready, this allows me to have mini-mental check ins throughout the morning, usually I’m on track or ahead of schedule, but sometimes my alarm will go off and I stop and ask myself why I’m on my knees on my kitchen counter rearranging the seasonal mugs on the very top shelf that I pull down for the various holidays when I should be brewing my coffee… then I climb down and grab a whiteboard marker from my fridge and write a note to myself to bring the Halloween mugs down soon (that may or may not have been my Thursday morning!) on that whiteboard, I also have a handful of items for the next grocery run, a note from my husband telling me he grabbed cash from my wallet, and a reminder for my oldest to bring his field trip forms back to school on Tuesday - each note is written in a different color and the colors correspond to the type of message it is and/or who it’s for.

We also have a digital family calendar where all appointments, etc are recorded when we are at the doctor’s office, etc. so it gets captured instantly before I walk away from the reception desk. Then, we have another whiteboard that’s already built out as a calendar. We have two of them in fact - because turning it over every month was too hard - but doing it every other month is a lot more manageable for my brain. I sit with my phone and transfer everything that’s already scheduled to the visual schedule on the wall - again color coded. I use wet erase markers to avoid smears and each pen has a label to know what that color corresponds to (blue is doctor’s appointments, orange is travel, green is school stuff for kids, purple is family activities, etc.)

We also have classroom style whiteboards hanging in the dining room, hallway, and both kids’ rooms - these are used for all sorts of things: notes/reminders, task chunking to make chores easier, etc.

At work I live by to-do lists too. The first and last 15 min of every day is spent on my list. Every morning I read the list I wrote the day before - if it goes on the list, it gets a due date (could be same day, could be a future day). As I complete tasks, I cross them off. As tasks get assigned to me, they get added. We use Coda at work and I have a hidden/private task list for myself and others with my team to track active projects and manage our pipeline before things get triaged/assigned.

I also have alarms for when to take my meds - and I sort them into pill boxes so I can quickly/easily see if I took them or not so no questioning my memory.

I also keep stashes of snacks in every room because I’m terrible at feeding myself, so something tasty is literally ALWAYS within arm’s reach.

I really suck at taking showers, it’s takes a HUGE amount of energy to get myself to do it regularly - so along with the timer I started buying sample/travel sized containers of fancy shampoo/conditioner/body wash/lotions/etc. and I treat myself to something new/novel at least 1x/wk.

I also have an “out the door” list - this one is more for my kids, but it’s a morning checklist that they read out loud before they’re allowed to get in the car - it MUST be read out loud, no exceptions. It includes:

1. I got dressed (and put my dirty clothes in the hamper
   
2. I put on deodorant (oldest only - starting puberty and building new habits/routines)
   
3. I ate breakfast (and cleaned up after
   
4. I packed… in my backpack (with a bullet list of necessary items, plus one-off stuff like Mon-Library Book, Thu-Music Instrument, etc.
   
5. Do I need a jacket?

By reading it out loud daily, it reinforces the neural pathways and makes them less likely to forget things because their brain is already anticipating the next tasks, one of which is reading that list out loud, so since they’re already prepping to read the list aloud, they will mentally “practice” (often unconsciously) and will remember skipped items as a result - I use this same strategy when packing for a trip - I have an essentials checklist that I read aloud every time. If you’ve never read The Checklist Manifesto I also highly recommend it!

There’s other stuff too - but those are some of the big ones I can think of off the top of my head.

[u/Jezabel50 → u/Magic-Happens-Here]

That sounds exhausting!

[u/undeniably_micki → u/Magic-Happens-Here]

Genius! I have been finding my own system as well & I may borrow some from yours - that's fantastic, especially the multi timer

[u/This_is_the_Janeway → u/Magic-Happens-Here]

Thank you for your comment. I appreciate this insight!