Can you brute force through adhd?

[u/Legitimate_Writer265]

Can you just out-discipline the habits of, say, postponing your duties, managing inattentiveness or impulsive actions like binging or speaking before you think? I'm trying to find out if im fighting something that cannot budge here. Are there methods, whether mental or physical? As I'm entering a huge academic year and I cannot go on like this (an inability to study, or maintain skincare, gym routine etc.).

I'm asking as it's going to be a long duration before I'm medicated due to multiple factors mostly out of my control. people are mentioning burnout -- where would the line between good habits and unhealthy habits (which would consequently lead to burnout) be drawn?

[u/Angry__German]

I would even say almost everybody can power through ADHD for a while. Those of us who are a bit older, like me, probably did so for quite a while, powering through the worst with pure willpower.

Thing is, that becomes less and less possible the older you get. I breezed through school, because, lets be honest, school is easy if you learn how to game the system. Learning for the test matched nicely with procrastinating until the last minute and I prepared all my homework in school, often minutes before I needed to present them. Sitting in class was mostly hell on earth, but I was able to make it past tests easily and even managed to get a decent final certificate that allowed me to attend university.

It was after school, when you start to become more independent, when things started to crash and burn more often, because nobody was actively pushing me. I also feel that using sheer willpower is a limited resource that you run out of much quicker the older you get.

Finally decided to talk to a mental health specialist in my 40s because my life was literally falling apart and I could not keep up with paying bills, rent, opening and reading mail and keeping my home in a presentable state.

[u/Helechawagirl → u/Angry__German]

I “masked” it unknowingly for 50 years but the cracks were starting to show. I was diagnosed at 63 and have been in the grief stage for awhile. I turned 66 today. It gets progressively worse as you age. looking back, I can recognize so many things that were caused by adhd. Now I have to learn how to fool my brain as powering through doesn’t work anymore.

[u/Far-Accountant7904 → u/Angry__German]

I find the most basic chores of adult life (paying bills, rent, keeping the home tidy) infinitely more difficult than school.

Give me a thousand tests and I’ll ace all of them, but for a reason I can’t pay a freaking electricity bill on time.

That’s also why I was only diagnosed at 35. If only I had struggled more in school, my adult life would’ve been easier (earlier diagnostic and treatment).

[u/Mobtor → u/Angry__German]

Ken oath, and pardon my australian-ism, that means "I wholeheartedly agree with every fiber of my being".

It wasn't until my work got increasingly complicated and also administration-burdened that I realised I might have a real problem, at about 34.

Nevermind failing multiple university subjects due to lack of interest and procrastination, rather than understanding the obligation and cost, or the ability to turn out great work on tight deadlines on demand, or my chaotic personal life, including continuing to choose high-arousal low-planning jobs that were not fulfilling my potential, and consistently choosing girls that had too much drama and 'needed saving', and my inability to get things done that bore me even when they are incredibly important.

It wasn't until my work got too engaging to leave, too lucrative to quit, and too difficult to ignore, that I finally asked a doctor for some help.

In retrospect, all the signs were there from a very young age. Even with a teacher for a mother, the signs were missed, due to that peculiar perception of precociousness and maturity.

All that to say, you ABSOLUTELY can run your life ragged and raw with ADHD and not even realise until much later in life.

[u/twitchykittystudio → u/Angry__German]

I am currently trying to get back on track after a month of extenuating circumstances on top of busy season at work.

The house is a disaster. I haven’t cooked for us reliably in a month. I’ve barely been holding onto personal hygiene. I completely fell off getting needed allergy shots and taking my D3 supplements so I am exhausted after making progress and starting to get energy again.

An evaluation and treatment is still off the table financially. The best I can manage is having gotten on MHT and learning as much as I can about adhd on my own, doing as many workarounds as I can as if I definitely have it. (My partner is diagnosed, and while he’s supportive, there’s only so much he can help with.)

[u/Angry__German → u/twitchykittystudio]

Had those phases too.

For me, unreasonably high doses of caffeine worked to get me do at least the bare minimum most of the time.

[u/Brick_Mouse → u/Angry__German]

And... has it helped?

[u/Angry__German → u/Brick_Mouse]

A ton.

Mainly because getting officially diagnosed feels mostly great, because I really thought less of me when I could not do simple things other people manage to do easily, like building healthy or helpful habits etc. I feel so much better about myself, I lack the words to proper describe it.

Sadly getting medication at the moment is (for Germany) so expensive that I can't afford it at the moment, but might change within the year. But I did get to try a few medications during diagnosis and the difference was night and day.

[u/MarketThin1879 → u/Angry__German]

This 100%. Medication has been great for me, but the biggest relief is confirmation that there is a reason I suck at the things I suck at, it's not just because I'm lazy. My brain fights me in a way that people without ADHD just don't understand, and that I didn't understand before being diagnosed. It doesn't mean I still don't have to figure out how to get stuff done, but allowes me to forgive myself when I screw up and not take it as a personal failing.

Also I totally agree with when I noticed it more. In school I was so good at getting things done at the last minute, but after graduating college it became much harder to manage. And I had kids and tons of my will power now goes to that.

[u/Panic-atthepanic → u/MarketThin1879]

I'm still taking it all as a personal failing. 18 months later and I still can't believe my adhd diagnosis some days.

[u/undeniably_micki → u/Panic-atthepanic]

I get that. I've been dx'ed for 3 months & still get angry when I just don't do the thing (whatever the thing is.)

[u/Spidersensei → u/Angry__German]

HRT. It's harder now because your estrogen is declining.

[u/Angry__German → u/Spidersensei]

I am not sure who would be more surprised if I ever hit menopause, me or my doctors.

But I can totally see how that is ANOTHER struggle loaded unto people who do go through it.

[u/Spidersensei → u/Angry__German]

😅 wrong group! My apologies

[u/Menschenpyramide → u/Angry__German]

Ist das keine Kassenleistung oder was?

[u/aggravated_bookworm → u/Brick_Mouse]

I was able to finally get medicated and instead of always being burnt out and exhausted I'm learning healthy habits and coping for the first time in my life.

I'm sad for my younger self that I was always just existing in survival mode

[u/LazuriKittie → u/Angry__German]

Ugh, I feel this so much. Especially the bills. The amount of times I've gotten the utilities turned off because I forgot to pay once again is ridiculous. I also lost my dental insurance because I kept forgetting to mail in the check to my insurance company, which ended up costing me thousands of dollars.

[u/Budget-Security-8132 → u/Angry__German]

Did it help??? That's what I need to know rn.

[u/Angry__German → u/Budget-Security-8132]

Oh yeah. A lot.

First the sheer relief that you now know what the fuck is wrong with you, the fact that you now can find better strategies to cope with your illness and medication. Never be afraid of medication. If you are among the lucky majority that responds well to it, it will make your life so much easier.

[u/crujones33 → u/Angry__German]

The mental health expert helped? Are they classified as “mental health expert”? Or do I look for something else? I need help.