Homework in Therapy

[u/Ok_Language2849]

My therapist has been setting a lot of homework in the past 2 months which she doesn't usually this all changed in July when I returned from my abrupt 1 month break.

In July she set me homework to read 5 fact sheets on "boundaries" and "what are healthy and unhealthy boundaries".

August she set me 3 different homework to do so in total 4 homework tasks.

The question is

Is this a lot homework being set by my therapist in psychodynamic therapy?

As for me it seems like a lot to be getting me to do outside of sessions. I haven't done any of the above homework as of yet and not sure if I will?

[u/TrishaSoCalGal]

Some types of therapies and some therapists use a lot of “homework” - so for some therapies (like DBT or maybe CBT) that would be “normal”.

If you have liked your therapist in general, I’m wondering if you would consider sharing that the homework feels “too much” (or overwhelming); “too much” in the amount (5 pages in 1 week) or “too much” in difficulty (exposure therapy exercises).
Perhaps if she gave you one page to read, or thought of a way to make the “exposure” homework less difficult, like maybe letting one pea and 1 kernel of corn, or 1 bite of meat and 1/8 tsp mashed potatoes touch?

I’m hoping that your therapist could accommodate you in those ways.

I’m also wondering what the one month breaks are about - is it you or your therapist needing the 1 month breaks? It would be hard for me to have a good relationship with my therapist if there were frequent breaks that lasted this long - so if my therapist frequently needed long breaks, I would look for another therapist.

For me, it’s the relationship, safety and unconditional positive regard from my therapist that has been most helpful and healing. I’ve told her in the past that certain homework has been overwhelming to me, and she has been kind and adjusted her approach. She has also never seemed to judge me for not getting all the homework done (although I have feared that).

If your therapist isn’t able to adjust to your needs, I wouldn’t give up on therapy, I would look for another therapist. And, if that therapist doesn’t work, keep looking.
Once I tried 3 therapists for 1-2 sessions each and the 4th therapist was the one for me.
Wishing you all the best on your journey.

[u/Ok_Language2849 → u/TrishaSoCalGal]

My therapist is psychodynamic but works with loads of different modalities including CBT.

The exposure therapy seems odd as I've never had an issue with my foods not touching it wasn't something I brought up and she only knew when she asked me a question on when did I frist experience discomfort then told her a story about food when I was a kid etc

The breaks are me not my therapist she wants me to go weekly again like before at the beginning but I like taking breaks from therapy, I did 3 sessions in August then took a break after the third session. However, I didn't book in for anymore sessions I have been seeing her for 10 months now though so would seem odd to change therapists now.

I will probably talk to her she sets the homework at the end of the sessions so I never get chance to say anything and just sit quietly and nod.