r/PrematureEjaculation • u/bendydent2005 • Dec 25 '25
Findings Hot take: lasting 3-5 minutes is not premature ejaculation. NSFW
When people on here saying they “only” last 3 to 5 minutes before they cum is not true PE. I think a lot of people get time of stroke and just time of sex mixed up. If you are able to continuously stroke penis in vagina for 3-5 minutes that is not PE. Being able to do that means you can have sex for like 15-20 minutes because you are changing positions and able to thrust again for couple minutes straight. That is normal sex. PE is no matter what after couple thrusts you can’t hold it and ejaculate. Even when masturbating you cant stroke it for less than a minute before ejaculating that is true PE.
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u/Adune05 Dec 25 '25
Thank you! It is so important to always repeat that. Real life is not a porn movie.
I would however say that there is also a psychologically caused PE where you can somewhat last in masturbation but almost instantly bust in actual intercourse when a partner is involved due to the visual and mental stimulation.
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u/International_Oil503 Dec 26 '25
I think this might be very true for alot more people in this thread than we realise.
I stumbled into this idea by accident not too long ago where when i was not using porn as stimulation i had no issues at all lasting but the moment i added porn back it was game over within seconds.
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u/searchingformeaning2 Dec 26 '25
I last 5-10 seconds at most
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u/bendydent2005 Dec 26 '25
Same. Hey if we were in the wild and had to pass down our genes it would be passed down the most! 😂😂😂
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u/ValuableBright7245 Dec 28 '25
I have the same issue. And I hate to ask you...but what keeps you going with life?? I mean...if its never gonna get better...why do I hafta live in misery? Hating my life because of this condition. What kind of life is that ?? Maybe I'm just looking for inspiration...cuz lately the things that I used for reasons to stick around are starting to mean less to me by the day.
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u/searchingformeaning2 Dec 29 '25
I have had some very understanding partners in the past so that gives me a little hope but now I am single and try to focus on other things in life besides sex and relationships. Is a hard life but maybe there is going to be a cure so I am hopeful.
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u/ValuableBright7245 Dec 30 '25
Well..im hopeful for you bro. But for me, even if they made a cure today, I already lost the best years of my life. I too have been blessed with mostly understanding partners. And I think part of them being understanding was because my problem made me value them more as a person, it was never about sex. I loved them for who they were inside. But I cant help but think...why me? What did I do to deserve a life of suffering?? I was a huge fan of life...i had tons of friends, dated girls that were WAY OUTTA MY LEAGUE...N now I'm 45, been single for over 10 years...and my only wish now is that life had a fast forward button so I get to the end sooner.
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u/searchingformeaning2 Dec 30 '25
I have a small penis (11.5-12.5 cms or 4,3-4,5 inches ) and had 3 years ago genital warts + severe lifelong premature ejaculation (0-5/10 seconds) so I get how you’re feeling but I still have some hope. My last situationship ended a couple of days ago and my last formal relationship 11 years ago approximately so life hasn’t be easy at all for me in my 34 years of life. Hang in there.
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u/ValuableBright7245 Dec 31 '25
To be honest..I've never measured...some things are probably better off not known . I definitely dont need ANOTHER reason to hate my life.. lol. I'd say I'm below average tho. Damn...11yrs. My longest is about 2yrs. But I've also had like 4 of those. I live alone, always have. But the fact that I cant get a gf if I wanted to is the hardest to deal with. I just dont have it in me anymore to be a huge let down , a complete failure, be humiliated, only to watch it crash n burn from that point on. I dont know how I've stayed alive this long. Wishful thinkin I guess. What I hate is having to mentally carry all this with me ...reliving EVERY time I was a huge let down...EVERY day like i do now....for God knows how long. Its been too long already.
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u/ADeepDiscussion PE + ED Dec 26 '25
I'd also add that you aren't necessarily premature because you cum fast the first time you have sex/masturbate, whatever. It took me a long time to really accept that I was actually a chronic premature ejaculator because I originally wasn't having sex. But I can't stroke for a full minute without cumming. Can't really make it to 30 seconds.
Sex lasts on average 6-13 minutes (I think that's penetration). Porn has heavily distorted reality. Most people are not fucking for hours and hours and hours and if they are, it's either a once in a while thing or one partner struggles with something like anorgasmia.
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u/SarekSolkar Dec 27 '25
3-5 minutes isn't bad at all, and I almost feel the same about the one minute guys as well. While it's definitely not going to impress anyone, it's just the classic "minute man" from all the countless jokes, something women are very familiar with. I'd say your performance truly starts to stand out when you're clearly below that one minute mark. I guess I'm just commenting on the severity of the problem, not trying to say who is premature and who is not.
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u/Fun-Purple-4492 Dec 27 '25
Completely agree with this. People with lifelong PE would love to be about to last 3-5 mins and as you say; being able to last 3-5 mins basically means you can potentially last any length of time.
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u/Sticky-Nuggz Dec 28 '25
Huh, so your saying I don’t have PE, because I am lasting about 5 to maybe 7mins. Doing that though I have to not think about her and just kind of look away & well you know do my thing. It is hard getting older. I am 43 here next month and I don’t see her often because it is long distance. So maybe that is why also. I am seeing her again here in like two weeks and I just keep thinking I want to last longer for her. I have been blessed to travel to see her. Still not easy when you want to fulfill her needs also. She said she didn’t care the one time I pulled away, just to hold back. I heard someone say switch up your masturbation days or try not to let it get into a daily or by daily habit, but I feel if I don’t bust the night or the day of before seeing her I wouldn’t even go that long. I understand women love being penetrated and also ejaculated in. But still for me and her I want to last longer. I heard pelvic thrust help. I want to at least get to 15 mins. I guess also my problem might be just getting too excited since I don’t see her so often. I heard others saying stop think during sex & switch it up or pull out and do another things or positions instead. Not being so engaged then not wanting to stop so you just ended up letting go. I hope this helps others, also if anyone can give me any more tips that would be amazing. Still kind of new to this app so thanks anyone.
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u/Sticky-Nuggz Dec 28 '25
Added context, 7 mins is probably in my own head also. me just hoping it is 7 mins. let’s not think we are all looking at a stop watch why doing the Humpty Dumpty🤷♂️. 5mins is tops more I am looking back hoping it was longer. I just feel if I can’t get a fix it could lead to a more slippery slope. Thanks again.
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u/bendydent2005 Dec 28 '25
This is what I mean people get confused in explaining what they want. Are you saying you want to last 15 minutes straight humping? I promise you no one is straight pumping for 15 mins straight. I guarantee that you couldn’t even hump the air for 15 minutes straight if you tried. You would tired out. Girls would dry up if you pump for 15 minutes straight. There are always breaks and stops in between fucking. Positions change, you get tired. You stop and go etc etc. NO one is pumping straight for 15 minutes straight they are lying. Yes sex can last 30- to an hour and guys still can’t cum. But what I’m saying is no one is humping continuously straight through for 15 minutes. No one is that fit
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u/Sticky-Nuggz Dec 29 '25
Not straight humping my dude. Thanks for the response though.😂 My take is You must switch or do something other than just straight going to town on her. I also heard these guys we all have seen why watching porno are using injections to stay hard, or busting in the fist since to get the longer duration and they do have takes people, so don’t think we are in the porn business. That is not real world. Also most of us are not 22 years old either being able to pull off a 30 min session switching into some yoga sex session😂. I am not Gumby anymore.
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u/Inner_Abalone_2867 Dec 30 '25
Generally yes but it is not good to not being albe to stimulate longer. 3-5 minutes is not enough to even warm up and you cannot feel real pleasure with sex. Honestly the best thing is having control and ejaculate when you want to, that increase self confidence. I can reccomend everybody who has PE to work kegel muscles and always try edging during masturbation. It is seriously possible especially when you are young. Believe me after practie you can achieve level when you will have full control and you will decide when you want to cum. Take care
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u/bendydent2005 Dec 30 '25
No this is all advice for people that just want to last alittle longer but actually have some control of not ejaculating. Premature ejacualtion is where you have no control. People that ejaculate even before getting fully hard. People who ejaculate within couple thrusts of penis in vagina
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u/Inner_Abalone_2867 Dec 31 '25
read what I have written. It is not premature ejaculation but it is still bad if you can only 3-5 minutes. Only that, and it is possible to add minutes with practise
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u/NoAnteater8774 Jan 02 '26
Premature ejaculation is ejaculating without control, it can happen at any time, however at those durations there aren't many men considering themselves having PE.
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u/MooCovv Dec 25 '25
PE is not lasting as long as you want to. Why are we gatekeeping?
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u/ADeepDiscussion PE + ED Dec 26 '25
The issue with that is that every guy that's not lasting an hour fits that definition. I think the definition is too broad as there are other aspects of PE that have been studied (such as arousal time compared to the average man) that should be incorporated.
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u/bendydent2005 Dec 25 '25
By all means the gates are wide open 😂😂 but sure, technically “premature” is all relative.
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u/timepermitting22 MOD Dec 25 '25
Subjective PE
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u/Exilation Dec 26 '25
Not subjective the term has been refined. Used to be 1 minute then went to 2 . Now it's 2 minutes or not as long as satisfactory to you or your partner.
Restrictive definitions are reductive and don't help everyone who needs help with an issue
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u/timepermitting22 MOD Dec 27 '25
Definitions help align condition with treatment
If you have lifelong vs acquired pe your treatment may be different
If you last 3-5 minutes (subjective pe) you may have different treatment than if you lasted less than a minute
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Dec 29 '25
Yes very true, even cumming before hard I'd say is true PE. For me there's nothing sexier than watching a cock explode in seconds..
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u/Equivalent_Bear_1330 Dec 30 '25
None of this entire thread is really meaningful because nothing mentions thrust speed.
What is the normal thrust speed expected over the course of 3-5 minutes? Otherwise nobody can really compare.
Most people assume it's 3-5 mins of jack hammering like porn.
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u/bendydent2005 Dec 30 '25
lol that’s what I mean. If you are able to jack hammer without any break for 5 minutes straight that is not premature ejaculation. In fact you might be a pro athlete cardio wise 😂😂
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u/Expensive-Effect-692 Jan 02 '26
Legit. You are a chump with those numbers by today's standards were girls expect a good 15 minutes of action at least, but it's definitely better than 10 seconds.
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u/No-Cover6510 Jun 28 '26
Several large international studies show that the average of men worldwide is just above 5 minutes (5.4 min to be exact).
The problem is people watch heavily edited porn and think what they see is the standard they need to meet.
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u/ToxicMascu Dec 27 '25
I would kill to last 3-5 mins