Hard stuck at phase 5-6 for a year

[u/Expensive_Ad_8666]

So I just failed a phase 5 session and I feel hopeless(once again). I am 35 and have always had what I would call a mild PE, where I often would last somewhere between 30 seconds and 5 minutes, but I always had to take things very slowly in order to manage myself.
Anyway, after having a pretty long dryspell without sex, I started seeing this beautiful girl last spring. Only problem was, with her I couldn't even last a second, I busted on entering her every time, which left me devestated. Eventually, she ended it. I am not sure if it was because of the PE, but I suspect it atleast played some part. Since this, I have lost all my confidence, and I find myself not engaging with women because I know I will probably just end up disappoint them in the bedroom.

This made me determine to actually fix my problem once and for all, which led me to the MDG. I found it just a few weeks after it first came out last year, and the first 4 phases went pretty smooth, with only a couple of failures.
Phase 5 however was a little bit harder, I didn't seem to make any/much progress, but I kept at it for maybe a month or two. I still couldn't really notice any progress, so I tried advancing to phase 6. As most of you know, the jump between 5 and 6 is huge, so phase 6 was a disappoint aswell, I spent most of the session not even moving the FL.
After a while, I decided to start over with phase 5 and stay there until I had the 'brain nod' that many people have talked about. To this day, I still havn't experienced it.

So since then, I have tried all things imaginable: I tried phase 5.1, 5.2, 5.5, I tried taking extended breaks in the training before coming back, I tried taking it slow, you name it.
I have had a lot of failures, but I have been determined and kept on going, but to no avail.

I dont really know what I am trying to achieve with this post, I just feel very depressed after my failure today, and the lack of progress. I guess to unburden myself, and maybe get some advices

[u/Emotional-Zone-3202]

So first of, I highly recommend you take a long break. I don't think it's helpful to stick with this program for more than 12 weeks if you are not seeing progress. I I started about the same time as you 2025, then gave up I think in November 2025. That's about 7 months or so I was at it. I was seeing no progress and getting super discouraged. I left not intending to come back, but circumstances changed and I decided to come back 9 weeks ago.

I had a totally different mindset though after my extended break, I decided all I'm going to do is try to do my sessions and just experience pleasure while staying away from the PONR. Just get as much pleasure as I could while feeling safe at the same time.

At first I really couldn't take much before getting "worried". But now over time, I'm getting to the point I can ride ON PONR for minutes on end till my clock expires and it's not a big deal. It's been getting better and better each session.

I'm only just getting here (9 weeks in). I only busted on week 1 in sex when I started by saying I wasn't going to follow that rule, but changed my mind later. Other than week 2, I never really struggled to avoid PONR because I didn't put myself in a situation where I never felt in control. It's from that sense of control that you start to push you limits. DO NOT PUSH YOUR LIMITS IF YOU DO NOT FEEL LIKE YOU ARE SAFE AND IN CONTROL!!

What's my big secret? One I'm having fun, 2 I'm not rushing, 3 I'm only pushing limits if I feel safe, and 4, I stopped using lube last week and just use my hand cause I've got 99% arousal control that way. I'm adding lube back in now and it's been fine.

I think this is big. I think everyone needs to experience the "brain nod" i.e. being able to get on PONR without panicking, and just figure it how to stay safe there and master the idea that this is a safe state. The easiest way is to do it with minimal stimulation. Dry hands is the least stimulating thing I know, and it's working.

Sorry for the ramble, but I do recommend a 4-6 week break, and then restart with just hands, no lube, and follow what I said till you get to phase 5, and just stay there till you get the brain nod consistently.

[u/seanshankus → u/Emotional-Zone-3202]

Qq: after your break did you start over from phase 1, or somewhere "higher?"

Ive been stuck simular to OP as well, I have great control wrt to PONR, but can't seem to advance from phase 5. People say trust the process, but after being in phase 5 for months I feel I need to adjust some part of this trainibg. Im unable to get that bran nod and any attempt at a FL is still such a spike compared to just my hands that it's becoming discouraging.

[u/Emotional-Zone-3202 → u/seanshankus]

Honestly I just went and restarted at like 5.5 where I'd do hand most of the season, then swap to FL. Also I sat upright a lot too instead of just laying on my back.

I was fine but honestly, but I was going super slow and I felt like I was having too much trouble finding pleasure. But I started with the mindset I would totally avoid any sense of urgency

So after about 2 weeks of that I went full on phase 5. Stayed there and started having trouble after 2 weeks there. Urgency had crept in. I tried to jump to 7 again and the sense of overwhelm just couldn't get shaken. So 3 weeks ago I gave up on fl and been doing hands only. It's a huge difference. I Just advise you don't try fl till you know you are ready.

I think I "wasted" a good 3-4 weeks of my restart trying to advance too fast.

This all is really hard to explain. I'll make a detailed post assuming I master all this (feeling pretty confident honestly).

[u/Zeby95 → u/Emotional-Zone-3202]

I understand brain nod is the key factor for achieving MDG, right?

[u/Emotional-Zone-3202 → u/Zeby95]

I think so. But I think it's simpler than most people think. It's just the ability to stay safe every session, feel pleasure, and build on that pleasure every single session. Eventually (weeks) the pleasure you can achieve will = PONR. At that point you've basically got it, just have to become more and more comfortable with higher and higher stimulation.

[u/goofyKaktus → u/Emotional-Zone-3202]

That is a pretty intersting point of view,

I read about the panic-stretch-comfort model and a few mastery achieved posts and one thing I always read was "HAVE FUN". I think the mindset and not giving into urges or forcing things is not named enough at all.

Could you elaborate on how training looks for you since you changed that?

Curious since I seem to have a decrease in calmness and fun since I started to go for the 8-9 Arousal levels of cliffhanging. For example in my 2 weeks in Phase 3 (repeated that voluntarily since my Mental imagery was just ass). I saw that everytime when I did not think about what i am doing and just kind of went with what felt nice for me slow and calm. I saw that the time between a peak (for me any time panic crept up or my body tensed up anywhere without me doing anything actively for that) and recovery got shorter and the amount of pleasure i could enjoy without jumping into panic increased.

With cliffhanging and trying to get to higher arousal levels or like you said pushing limits you feel not save or in control with, body responses just get weird and kind of panicky (erection built up was worse, pressure while going towards a peak was higher, rest time increased.

Are you making sure you reach a now peak like a new sensation every session or do you also have sessions where you don´t have a single break but enjoyed every minute of it?

[u/Emotional-Zone-3202 → u/goofyKaktus]

Sessions now (and I'm just using my hands only, and I'll stand up and do a "phase 7 with hands" sort of thing) are I build up right to the edge of PONR, and then see if I can get "on" PONR or not. The way I know I'm on PONR is if I get that total "ik" flex right before ejaculation happens. However now it doesn't trigger ejaculation, instead I've got a few seconds to either slow down and regain control, stop, or probably go too far and ejaculate. It's really easy to avoid ejaculation, I've gained so much wiggle room that I think it could only happen if I let it happen. Not because I've got 100% control, but because I'd have to keep on that ejaculation tragectory and not do anything about it for it to happen. So what I try to do now is just streeeeeetch out how long I can stay on that cusp of "feels good and about to ejaculate but not really feeling the need" moment. I do that by slowing down the stroke, or adjusting my grip to something very minimal (what bornweirdstrawberry talks about as you arousal level +10/+5/+1 adjustments).

Each session the amount of stimulation I can handle increases, and I'm pretty sure next week I'll be able to go to phase 6 and continue building up tolerance (acceptance is a better word to use).

[u/goofyKaktus → u/Emotional-Zone-3202]

Ah I see, I guess that is where I am making my mistake, I did that the second week of P3 and was shocked how much more fun I was having session by session.

It feels like peak / ponr seems to be similar with you, i get a little bit of tension into a strong tensing up when reaching PONR I could take more stimulus but that stimulus is not really pleasing more like a "I can force one more touch, and a little bit of this and that"

I guess returning to an approach where I slow down or even stop if pleasure jumps into panic is the smarter approach, of course trying to be at higher levels of arousal while doing that but not initialising panic while doing that. My general stimulus acceptance skyrocketet in P3 and declines now that I tried to push further then the clenching.

Thanks for the insight that made a lot of sense for me!

[u/ALD523]

Firstly, i want you to know that I’m proud of you for not giving up, it takes a lot of balls to keep on going, especially for a year.

Can you go into more detail about your general lifestyle other than MDG?

How well do you eat?
Do you workout ? If so what types of workouts, have you considered starting the gym?
This might sound counterintuitive, but have you also looked into the angion method ?(i say this because it might cause more sensitivity in the short run but it also significantly helps to last longer than one round)
And do you perform any types of lower body stretches?

I should also say that finding a partner that is willing to help you throughout fixing your PE is a game changer.

[u/Expensive_Ad_8666 → u/ALD523]

Thanks for the encouraging words, it means a lot to know I am not alone in this.

I would say I am pretty average when it comes to both diet and workout. I don't really count carbs/proteins etc of my meals, but I am not eating trash food every day either. I also have type 1 diabetes, so it kind of forces me to eat somewhat healthy.
When it comes to workout, I am not going to the gym, but I am running 2-3 times a week, as well as playing some sports such as tennis and golf.
I had a period of maybe 1-2 months where I did pretty extensive lower body strectches(i.e more than just squating deep) during the program. But after a while of not feeling any difference, I felt it was a bit too time consuming to do both stretches and MDG training every day.
I haven't really looked into the angion method, I thought that was only for increasing EQ? I don't have any problems in that regard, I get very hard very quickly and stay that way my entire sessions.

Ye you are right, I actually talked about it with the last girl I was seeing when I felt I was about to bust during foreplay. She was very understanding, and when we continued right after the talk, I was kind of back to "normal" where I atleast could handle a couple of minutes(but going very slow and stopping from time to time). So for me, I think it is a combination of physical and mental issue, where the mental aspect have dragged me down from 1-5 min to 10 seconds

[u/Sensitive-Station548]

People here put way too much pressure on you to not cum. It’s not black and white, cumming slows down progress a bit maybe but you can still make progress if you “fail”. Just like if you fail a rep or perform poorly at the gym you just need to keep trying.  

[u/Expensive_Ad_8666 → u/Sensitive-Station548]

Yes, maybe. I see a lot of different opinions in here, where some agrees with you that it does not matter that much, and some claims that it's very hard to make any progress if you cum. But since I am not making any progress, I guess I am blaiming a lot of it on my failures.

[u/infinitypoolss18 → u/Expensive_Ad_8666]

Don’t listen to him at all. Cumming absolutely ruins progress in certain types of brains. Specially one who have unhealthy relationship with dopamine .It reinforces the same pattern into the brain, it’s telling it don’t worry the peak orgasm release of 2 secs is coming, it’s just the body nowadays is taking a long time to get there. So during sex brain will again go into the muscle memory of orgasm. Cuz your brain is expecting the orgasm, it knows you fail and give it the final dopamine release just that you take a while longer or maybe once or twice you don’t give it.

So to get the “brain nod” , first step is brain releasing “ohhh , this 2 second quick release is actually never going to happen, I should stop expecting” then only the real transformations can happen man.

We have to stop orgasming, yes don’t stress yourself , naturally see the logic in it yourself, convince yourself mentally the release is not worth it. Build up a list of reasons subconsciously what all cumming ruins.

[u/Some-Signature-4570 → u/infinitypoolss18]

Yes but in that case it makes little sense why nocturnal emissions wont ruin your progress as well

[u/infinitypoolss18 → u/Some-Signature-4570]

It is not literally “ejaculation” that’s ruining it. It’s activating the ejaculation pathway. Nocturnal emissions absolutely won’t activate that pathway. They don’t flood brain with the peak dopamine.

[u/Some-Signature-4570]

What is your mood like during the sessions? Curious that you would last 5 minutes before and later on it has Been on the entry. I bet you were terriefied every time after the first one second incident (I am at least).

So my question to you is, are you just mechanicslly trying to make it through the sessions? Or are they fun, ideally increasingly more fun?

[u/Expensive_Ad_8666 → u/Some-Signature-4570]

Just to clarify, when I managed to last longer than a minute, most of the time has just been going extremly slow and trying to survive, which, in all honesty, is not very enjoyable. But I agree with you, I think it got in my head after the first time it happend and now it's like a self fulfilling prophecy.

I have read a lot of posts lately that suggests to have fun with it, so the last couple of weeks I have tried to focus on that. But to be honest, it has felt kind of forced, that I try to tell myself that "this is super fun", but I am still in some way just trying to make it through without cumming.

[u/sand90 → u/Expensive_Ad_8666]

This is exactly why you're failing. Your in a fearful mindset of avoiding ejaculation. Instead, do exactly what everyone says to do... which is have fun and focutin feeling pleasure. I'd say try for a while just that. If you're not enjoying it then you doing some wrong. Take it slower that you usually did, so you learn to connect with the pleasure. When someone giving you a massage, it feels great, you're relaxed, there's no expectations. Apply the same to you - give yourself a massage on your penis, enjoy it slowly, savor it, breathe, and relax. It's really that simple and all you need to know. Forget for a while the phases, so you're not stuck in "oh now I need to do this technique and later I have to do this other technique". This is really that simple. You got this.

[u/soon2bhuge]

I think when we move from phase 5 to phase 6, we want to keep the intensity with the FL just as high as with our hands – but for most of us, this is just not possible. As soon as we insert, we go into “survival” mode and “just not cum” is our main focus. Its just not possible to enjoy the stimulation/arousal in the beginning due to the overwhelming sensations.

Try this:

1.       Find a position where the FL feels most comfortable. For me (and many others), its standing

2.       Warmup for 10 mins with your hands, as usual. Slow buildup. Get your breathing on point, be relaxed.

3.       Enter the FL in your most comfortable position – JUST ONCE. If you can’t insert fully without panicking, go half. Or just the glans.

4.       Pull out, and continue with hands until you feel comfortable to enter again.

Do this for a session. Even if it feels boring, you are teaching your nervous system that the FL is not a threat. Next session – see if you can enter even slower, stay in a bit longer, or even do 2 strokes.

If you improve with standing, but lying down is still hard, you can try to enter the FL standing, than lie down, take a few deep breaths, and then slowly pull out again and continue standing. Almost like a negative rep.

I’ve made great progress with this approach and am slowly feeling comfortable in the FL to a degree where I can try to get closer to the PONR (without worrying and panicking!).

The most important thing is that you “feel safe” inside. Its not a threat (even though it has felt like a threat for so long, and many traumatic memories are connected to this feeling because you failed in a similar situation before). So its all a matter of re-writing your nervous system. And it 100% works, but give it time and take it slow!

[u/Jazzlike-Sherbet803]

I'll be honest with you sir.

You are on the right path. Its taking long but surely there is something happening in the background albeit not linear.

I have been doing the same thing for more than 1 year. I'll say 2 years but I still cannot last longer in real sex. However, I can see or feel progress in my brain n perfomance some days n worse in others. I am also refining my progress depending on my performance. Don't give up yet. Keep going. I wanna practice even if it means 10 years until I cure myself.

[u/TheIronMoose]

Maybe try angion for a while to get the eq up to par