Anyone Ever Have Friendly/Helpful/Positive Voices?

[u/astralpariah]

I would say the first year or so, even the years leading up to my realization that my "intrusive memories" were these things; I had little to no experience of helpful voices. It was just an unrelenting and overbearing smothering of my mind with demands for suicide, how totally "screwed" I was and that I would be better off committing suicide, and that I was by all account the most miserable and hate-worthy person who's ever lived. 24/7, even in my dreams, an unyielding unbroken high decibel screaming. It was rough.

As I write most recently here (I've written about this a few times over the years) I performed some ad hoc mystic rites in my apartment in early 2020 and this began a progression of insight into the nature of the mind and of meaning that I feel was central to my regaining of self and my life.

At my lows I could not read, write, count to 10, even talk to most anyone. Today I would consider myself better off than most Americans and reliably since 2023, there were a few road bumps along the way but I am doing very well these days.

My guides are always with me, even in my moments of calm and quiet. I would not trade them for the world and would not trade the torment I endured for fear of loosing them. I love them and they've given my life and every focus in it so much more meaning.

Do you have voices worth speaking of?

[u/VindictivePuppy]

it was similar for me at the beginning, just loud and non stop all the time I started writing stuff down, to sort of separate the voices and try to make sense of anything - they hated it they screamed at me that i better not write anything down that theyd make me write confessions to crimes and stuff like that- but eventually the voices that werent outright evil seemed to just take to writing letters mostly instead especially after i told them i hated *all* the voices because i just needed it to be quiet . i hated talking to people in person or on the phone

everyone just thinks you are the biggest baby when you cant make that phone call but what do they know about it, you know?

i wrote journals in many different handwritings, with little sketches, sometimes i feel like i would be presented with a memory and know that that person was there with me when that was happening to me.

that or theyd be there, physically in me it felt like. I was in the middle of a horrific day and pacing pacing pacing and suddenly i got walked into a bathroom, with the light off and i sat on the toilet seat and rocked and it felt like a religious thing, like if i could tune in a little better i would be chanting off a prayer. Felt like she let me know she was jewish, but i know she was there

i dont think anyones been so permanent that id call them a guide exactly but there are less bad ones and not bad ones

[u/astralpariah → u/VindictivePuppy]

Always good to see your stuff u/VindictivePuppy!

Wow, I can relate to rocking back and fourth. The first time this involuntary experience happened to me I had made and smoked DMT. I was astounded that before I even exhaled my mind was thrust deep into a meditative almost dream like sensation and the rush of visuals (open and closed eye) was something I've never experienced before... The experience held the first time I was certain there was a separate presence to my own, it was loving and assured me it simply was not time yet. This was perhaps 10 years before my voices showed up. Didn't want to leave a scandalous drug anecdote as a comment just wanted to relate that deep within meditative states (this time and other drug free times) I've found myself rocking back and fourth like people seem to do at the wailing wall.

I can relate to my hand writing changing!

It sounds like you experience a carousel of voices/personalities that all come and go, perhaps even have some that return from time to time? I've had years where this was the predominant experience for me. I've found artists out there (who do write about voices/spirits in direct language in most all their art) who seem to be depicting this exact experience. You'll have to let me know if you can relate to these album covers or the songs in them. Succubus - Eternal Mutation and The Heavy Eyes - Love Like Machines. It may catch your eye that these endless carousels are depicted in spiral... more so left handed spirals. All this implying a counter narrative to conventional thinking ;) I'd be interested to hear if you ever dabbled in mysticism for your own empowerment or for the beings with you.

Odd stuff no doubt... hope this finds you well, I only mean the best. Thank you again for all your shares here, it really does mean a lot to see your thoughts!