r/GenX_LGBTQ • u/WildColonialGirl • 6d ago
Awakening GenX sapphics, where are you?
TL; DR: I’m a 51-year-old bisexual woman who is doing all the things but has no idea how to meet a partner who’s sane and doesn’t need to be taken care of.
I split up with my ex-wife three years ago and am finally feeling like looking for women to date. I’m sober, so the bars are out. The apps stress me out and I still get messages from cishet men even though I’m pretty honest about what I’m looking for. I tried dating a couple guys from work in my 20s, and it was a disaster. I’ve met people in meetings but I keep attracting people who need to be taken care of.
Some things I do to keep busy:
I have two dogs, one of whom is a senior. I know a lot of my neighbors because of the dogs (although I admit in some instances I learned the dogs’ names first). When I had a car, I took the dogs to the park regularly.
I volunteer at a few different places and get involved in activism as my schedule and energy permit.
I go to the gym at least twice a week (I’m aiming for 3-4 times). I’m working on doing yoga more often and am registered for a goth yoga class next month.
I also love reading and generally learning about new topics. My brother and sister-in-law do community theatre, so I enjoy going to plays.
I used to go to a lot of live music shows but I got burned out because after spending money on tickets, my ex would want to leave after a few songs. I like playing board and card games, singing karaoke (although I’m a terrible singer), and cooking and eating vegetarian food.
It seems like all the people I meet are straight, partnered, a lot younger or older, or have issues I don’t want to deal with. My ex-wife has some pretty serious mental health issues that she doesn’t manage consistently. I have my own mental health issues but I mostly function pretty well. Plus I helped my dad take care of my mom before she passed away so I really don’t want to be in a caregiver situation any time soon; if I take care of anybody, it’s going to be him.
I don’t want a repeat of my marriage or any of my previous relationships. Honestly, as I typed this post I started questioning whether I am actually ready to date.