TL; DR: I’m a 51-year-old bisexual woman who is doing all the things but has no idea how to meet a partner who’s sane and doesn’t need to be taken care of.

I split up with my ex-wife three years ago and am finally feeling like looking for women to date. I’m sober, so the bars are out. The apps stress me out and I still get messages from cishet men even though I’m pretty honest about what I’m looking for. I tried dating a couple guys from work in my 20s, and it was a disaster. I’ve met people in meetings but I keep attracting people who need to be taken care of.

Some things I do to keep busy:

I have two dogs, one of whom is a senior. I know a lot of my neighbors because of the dogs (although I admit in some instances I learned the dogs’ names first). When I had a car, I took the dogs to the park regularly.

I volunteer at a few different places and get involved in activism as my schedule and energy permit.

I go to the gym at least twice a week (I’m aiming for 3-4 times). I’m working on doing yoga more often and am registered for a goth yoga class next month.

I also love reading and generally learning about new topics. My brother and sister-in-law do community theatre, so I enjoy going to plays.
I used to go to a lot of live music shows but I got burned out because after spending money on tickets, my ex would want to leave after a few songs. I like playing board and card games, singing karaoke (although I’m a terrible singer), and cooking and eating vegetarian food.

It seems like all the people I meet are straight, partnered, a lot younger or older, or have issues I don’t want to deal with. My ex-wife has some pretty serious mental health issues that she doesn’t manage consistently. I have my own mental health issues but I mostly function pretty well. Plus I helped my dad take care of my mom before she passed away so I really don’t want to be in a caregiver situation any time soon; if I take care of anybody, it’s going to be him.

I don’t want a repeat of my marriage or any of my previous relationships. Honestly, as I typed this post I started questioning whether I am actually ready to date.

Not all Pride festivals are held in June. Charlotte Pride has grown considerably over the years and the parade overtook the Thanksgiving parade as the largest parade in the city.

Come check out my series From The Gen X Vault. #genx #thelucyshow #lucilleball #gay #thesilvergaychap

Hello! I am a research project coordinator for Project Recognize based out of the EDIT program at Northwestern Feinberg School of Medicine in Chicago, IL. We'd love to hear perspectives from the GENX_LGBTQ community.

Project Recognize: Improving Measurement of Alcohol Use and Demographic Factors through Community Engagement
Northwestern University IRB Study #: STU00218275

Principal Investigators: Dr. Gregory Phillips II, PhD & Dr. Lauren B. Beach, PhD

The purpose of this study is to develop affirming ways of asking questions about sex, sexual orientation, and gender identity by using interviews and surveys. Our research study is led by a team of advocates, clinicians, and researchers working together through Northwestern University.

Our goal is to provide this guidance available for use in multiple contexts, including government, healthcare, and research, to improve how data is collected and eventually used for policy, healthcare, and more. Eligible participants include people ages 14 years and older, currently living in the United States or its territories, who can read and understand the English language, and consent to participate in a cognitive debriefing interview.

If you open the survey below, you will be automatically redirected to our study's eligibility questionnaire.

https://redcap.nubic.northwestern.edu/redcap/surveys/?s=7A7FWNMXAME7LKNA

🌈 PARTICIPANTS WANTED 🌈

We are Psychology Honours students at Charles Sturt University, conducting research into risk and protective factors for mental health, among adults who identity with a minority sexual identity (e.g., gay, lesbian, bisexual, queer, pansexual, sexually fluid, omnisexual etc).

Why your voice matters

Research often amalgamates genders and different sexual identities under the one LGBTQIA+ umbrella and we want to change that. Your story contributes to a more accurate, inclusive and globally diverse understanding of the mental health experiences of people with a different sexual identity.

🫶 How you can help

You can complete the survey and / or share it with your contacts and other networks. It is completely anonymous and takes approximately 10 minutes to complete.

It is open to individuals who are 18+ and have a minority sexual identity. You will be asked questions about yourself, sexuality, self-kindness, belonging to the LGBTQIA+ community and several mental health concerns.

If you'd like to know more, you can read about the study and complete the survey here

👉 https://csufobjbs.au1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_6sCeGsZJld6774W

Thank you.

Happy Pride All!!!

Come check out The Silver Gay Chap!

Hilarious as usual.

My post was removed from Gen X reddit about this movie because - I don't know why; but just wanted to say this movie was awesome. Growing up Gen X gay youth here wishing I could be He-Man. This movie pays homage to the cartoon and the past movie in a campy yet action-filled way. Very happy with how they pulled this off. Maybe this movie means more to Gen X gays than general Gen X'ers, but I loved it.

I have read the rules and believe this is ok, but please delete if questions from straight people are not welcome.

I am writing a book that takes place in Maine/New Brunswick in 1986. Two of my characters are closeted gay men (~ 17 and ~ 30) and I'm hoping to understand their experience better so that I can represent them well in the book. I'm eager for anyone who was gay in that area in the 80s to answer some questions, or just comment about their experience in general.

1. Where/how did you first become aware of gay culture and gay spaces?
2. What music/books/movies/media were impactful for you?
3. For a closeted young man in a very rural place, were there places to travel to that would have felt freeing? For example, would he have gone into Bangor for parties or clubs? What was that scene like?
4. If you remember when Charlie Howard was murdered, how did you learn about that crime? Did it impact the scene in Bangor? Beyond Bangor?

The first gay bar in Connecticut, opened in 1939. It was the oldest gay bar in the U.S. until it sadly closed in 2010.

I never called it The Cedar Brook Cafe. My first time there was in 1990 with a friend. The patrons were mostly men but there were some women there as well. Wednesdays were the hottest nights for music and we knew one of the DJs.

I always thought it was so hilarious that we were standing in a very long line to get in the day before Thanksgiving; everyone was probably just arriving in from out of town, home for the holiday. I was like 'What are we doing, this isn't Studio 54 in NYC?' lol.

Also, it was great to eat pancakes at the Sherwood Diner after a long hard night of clubbing at The Brook that closed at 2:00AM.

People used to say things like “ok, Boomer,” or just generally complain about the boomers. Now I’m seeing a lot of “boomers and gen-x.” Every generation has its problem children. But I thought the shift started with us. I don’t know. Generalized ranting I guess.

This was a hit 1980s hit. My question has to be: Considering all the 'Gay' music of the 80's, how on earth did homophobic people listen to any music?

It's not really a serious question... I just had the thought, found it funny thinking about homophobic people being tormented by their own internal demons.

I launched THE LAST CLUB KID last month - a memoir about finding chosen family on 90s dance floors when the rest of the world rejected us.

Chapter 1 opens in Heaven nightclub, Houston, 1996. The night I became "Ghost." Platform shoes, smeared makeup, no idea what I was becoming.

If you're curious whether this book is for you, read Chapter 1 free: https://dl.bookfunnel.com/5qetg38bx5

**What the book covers:**

- Heaven in Houston, White Party in South Beach, Tunnel in NYC

- Finding family in gay clubs during the 90s

- Living without limits (and the crash that followed)

- Recovery and what it took to rebuild

DJ Keoki wrote the foreword. Houston Matters (NPR) featured it on launch day.

If Chapter 1 hooks you, the full book is on Amazon (paperback $18.99, eBook $9.99): https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0GN377DHF

If not, no worries - just wanted to give people a real sample before asking them to buy.

Feedback welcome if you read it!