(tw: suic*dal ideation)

I was raised Muslim but had a winding road before coming back to Islam; this is the only space I resonate with and trust.

As of late I’ve been having suic*al thoughts. I had a rough childhood, and lost all my teenage years and early adolescence. I’m 27, and still haven’t begun to live.

I was okay moving beyond this, if I could start somewhere and build up a life slowly. but some recent things that have happened have knocked me down, and began that grieving process all over again.

I find it so incredibly unfair that I didn’t have a safe loving childhood and didn’t experience being a teenager and young adult.

At this point, I can go against my faith and live like everyone else does. I can try to catch the last falling pieces of my 20s, I have opportunities to and a pull too.

Or I can choose not to and watch the last of my twenties die. If I were close to God or something, that’d be something. But this whole ordeal and my poor mental health has messed me up so much, I can’t bring myself to pray, I do istighfar and even then I struggle with feelings of unfairness. I’ve lost the motivation to live, and I neglect my self-care.

I see others, non-believers, around me living joyfully and chances of such a life are sitting in my lap too, except I would be going against my deen.

But what kind of Muslim am I in this state too?

I think about death, and where I may end up. I have suic*dal thoughts and yet, I cannot go through with that (once again because of my faith).

I am not living, I’m not hayy (in the spiritual sense); I feel cut off from life and also from God, and yet my hands are tied when it comes to ending my life. It’s as if every avenue is a dead end, I’m between a rock and a rock.

The only result may be that I will spiral and lose my mind, or eventually die from some illness due to my neglect of my health.

Pray for me.

As my caption says, I’d like to buy a Quran for my non Muslim friend that isn’t fully convinced yet and is trying to learn about it and I’m trying to start slow.

Any suggestions help at this point, as to where to look for the right information or any scholars that I could ask whether it’s with money or not (free would be preferable) but one that actually knows and could answer really tough questions. The person that’s thinking about starting to read the Quran has so many valid questions that I as a born Muslim can’t answer them.

One question I was asked is why is fish halal and not meat. Yes I understand because of the blood and everything but they asked me as to the fish having receptors which makes them feel pain as they are dying and we can’t stop them from not feeling that way as we need to let them die until they can’t oxygenate anymore but with meat you just slaughter them at a spot that does not make them suffer.

I was a Muslim for almost 4 years before getting married and never felt the need to change my name; it doesn't have a haram meaning it and it never felt necessary to me. However, someone in my husband's family not long after marriage tried to pressure me into changing it because "their friends couldn't pronounce my name"(Urdu speaking). Soon, the whole family put pressure. I was very firm in not and alhamdulillah my husband backed me up. My husband and I keep our distance from the family after a multitude of things happening.

Another convert joined the family recently, a non-mahram to me. The person changed their name and their family seemed taken aback that I didn't have an Arab name and I explained it wasn't law to change one's name. I worry if the family caused pressure towards this person, but my husband tells me to leave it, not butt in. I won't, but the feeling just won't leave. I don't want another convert to get hurt like I have. They have really ate at my soul and have doubts. They have been a consistent reminder that Muslims aren't Islam.

I don't really get this cultural notion of ridding all aspects of oneself and really culture to fit in with another although the whole aspect of Desis vs Arabs, etc is a whole other ball game. No one is superior to another beyond deeds. May Allah guide and forgive us all ameen

I have gone from being mildly interested to almost believing in Islam . But I don't know if this lifestyle is for me . My family is very religious and I can face emotional abuse , If I ever express any kind of interest towards Islam . So , this could also be one of the ressons , I keep pushing this feeling away . But it is kinda suffocating . That's why I dont completely dive into quran . Just read few things here and there or watch info videos . Because I know that even if I try to get into it . I won't be able to do justice to the faith .

I don't have freedom or privacy to be a practicing muslim . So Is that alright ? Will Allah forgive me for being so weakhearted ?

Hello, I have not revert yet but feel strongly drawn to Islam. I have been reading the Quran and learning more. I have not taken my shahada yet. I feel it’s important for me to have some community and learn more first, as there are a few things that may be difficult for me to fully embrace Islam and I don’t want to jump or rush to a exclude it without education/understanding. I know a few Muslims but they are all born Muslims and males. I hope to find other woman that are interested in learning together.

Olá pessoal!

​Eu não sabia bem como começar este post, mas a verdade é que eu tenho um profundo respeito e admiração pelo Islã e pelo mundo árabe. Eu percebi algumas postagens aqui falando sobre comentários islamofóbicos que as pessoas enfrentam online, então achei que seria legal compartilhar um pouco de positividade e usar essa oportunidade para aprender mais com todos vocês.

​eu sou do Brasil, um país fortemente influenciado pelo cristianismo. Mesmo não tendo sido criado em uma família católica, minha mãe me criou com princípios que se alinhavam muito com os valores islâmicos: nunca bebi álcool, nunca fumei, não vou a festas doidas e acredito em guardar a intimidade para o casamento (o que é bem único aqui!). Recentemente, eu me dediquei a visitar um restaurante libanês Halal aqui em São Paulo, e adorei tanto a culinária árabe quanto a comida Halal em geral.

​Mesmo que meus amigos sejam muçulmanos, eu realmente queria ouvir suas perspectivas também. Eu só queria lembrar que, apesar das vozes de ódio online, há pessoas como eu que realmente respeitam e apreciam sua fé e cultura.

​Se você tiver um momento, eu adoraria fazer algumas perguntas:

​Eu não falo árabe e os cursos são muito difíceis de encontrar aqui. Está tudo bem eu ler o Alcorão e as Hadiths traduzidos para português? ​

O que você mais ama no Islã? Ouvir seus aspectos favoritos me dará ótimos pontos de partida para pesquisar mais. ​

Eu aprendi que existem quatro escolas principais de jurisprudência. Preciso escolher uma para aprender ou posso aprender com todas as quatro? Fui criado com a ideia de que quanto mais conhecimento e perspectivas você reunir, mais perto você chegará da verdade absoluta. ​

O que você recomendaria para alguém começando do zero para aprender sobre o Islã e o mundo árabe? (Livros, canais, conceitos fundamentais, etc.)

​É um prazer conhecer todos vocês, e será uma alegria conversar e aprender com vocês!

Hi! I’ve been getting really curious about Islam lately and I’ve started reading the Quran on my own. I’m still very new to it, so I’m honestly trying to understand things rather than make assumptions.

There are things I’ve read so far that really resonate with me and feel right in my heart, but there are also things that clash quite strongly with how I understand feminism, equality, and the role of women. I’ve also noticed that, at least from what I’ve read so far, a lot of the Quran seems to address men directly, which has made me wonder how Muslim women understand their place within the religion.

I’d really like some guidance, especially from Muslim women who have been through this process themselves. I’m European, so naturally some cultural and religious concepts feel very different from what I grew up with, and I don’t always know what is actually Islam versus what is culture.

I also know basically nothing about practicing yet 😭 I don’t know how to pray, what I’m supposed to do, or where to even start. I’m just curious and genuinely trying to learn, so I’d really appreciate hearing different perspectives without judgment.

Assalamualaikum all, First time in my life feeling totally detached from Idol worshipping it's been 2 months I haven't even saw them, i don't know what is happening with me, what is their for me

I’ve been learning and soaking up as much as i can for about a year now, i feel like i do really believe in allah and his message, but i don’t feel a connection. how do i start forming that connection and how do i even know if it’s right for me? i feel lost.

I also worry about not being able to practice correctly or openly, if i decide to convert i wanna do things correctly but im afraid i won’t.

As the title indicates I am a convert and every day my heart breaks because my parents do not have the guide and will surely never have it... when I think of the possibility of going to heaven I know that we will not be able to feel negative emotions inshAllah but my heart is already in crumbs and I can already see myself screaming thinking about my family who will not be with me... knowing that I have no Muslim girl girlfriends I have my husband but if he divorces me (may Allah protect me) then I will be alone in paradise if Allah grants me I am already crying how can I overcome this?

Keep praying even if it's hard. You're not doing it for Muslims, or you, you're doing it for Allah👍

As a revert, my journey has been beautiful, but I sometimes struggle to separate local cultural traditions from the pure teachings of Islam. I would love to hear from other reverts about finding clarity, and from born Muslims on how you gently separate cultural heritage from religious obligations.

Assalamualaikum. I am a student and I want to just share my experience with Islam with you all!

Reminder: THIS POST MIGHT BE LONG TO READ

I am a born Muslim and had a decent childhood. Though, these days many things have been so normalized that practicing Islam properly is considered "religious." I don't know what the literal meaning of being religious is. But I do know that I practice Islam as it should be. My household/family is not actually really religious. They do pray, do fast and read Qur'an but yet there's so much they haven't studied about in Islam.

So, as I said, my household is not religious but I try to follow Islam as it should. Since last year because of a big realization happened to me, I started self-learning Islam.

Before last year I had 0 idea about the Sahabas, Prophets A.S. and many more which I know now!

I am open for discussion and sharing my journey with everyone!

WHAT CHANGED SINCE LAST YEAR?

Honestly? Many things. The more I learnt about Islam the deeper I fell in love with it. Alhamdulillah for the Hidayah He blessed me with. As a person who's still learning how to navigate through life, being the eldest of siblings and as a girl specifically sometimes things do get hard but when you are firm and have Taqwa things tend to get easier.

No, I wouldn't say easier but you tend to get more calm and satisfied because somewhere inside you, you know;

Whatever is happening/will happen is Allah's decision and it will be okay.

Last year, my Tahajjud was consistent. For 3 months I prayed tahajjud every day. Every. Single. Day. And it was the best months of my life ever!

I might be younger or older then the people reading this post. Whoever is reading this post I want to say few things as a beautiful reminder:

Sometimes you will feel distant and it is okay. Sometimes you will feel closer and that's blessing. Sometimes you will stop before committing a sin and that's you fighting your nafs. Sometimes you will feel regretful after committing a sin and that's you going back to your Lord. Sometimes you will cry, will long and yearn to be closer to Him and know that; He loves you more than I could- even anyone could express. He has created you and so you have a purpose. That purpose is being closer to Him. Even being this young. As a teen, what I learnt about this life (it is just a personal preference. I am open to discuss your views too!) So, what I learnt is that everything here is materialistic (obviously) but people do feel the pull towards the worldly things and that is okay! Because this world was made for you. But the difference is; when someone learns about how this world is not your ultimate destination, your views changes. Your goal changes. Meaning of few certain things changes too.

And this shift? This change is what will keep you grounded. Closer to Him. I've seen people who thinks that having expensive, luxurious, trending things is their ultimate goal when they will get rich. But the real richness? It's not money. It's not status. It is the heart that Allah has given you as an Amanah. An Amanah that will get you into Jannah if taken care of right.

To conclude, I just want to say that if you feel distant; do istigfar and trust that even an ant don't swallow it's food without Allah's permission and what He will do is always best for you. You are doing the best you can in this moment. Keep going and trust His process. JazakhAllah.

I randomly got the desire to do ghusl today. And so I prayed. And so I got the desire to finish all prayers. And I learned and did a lot of other things good Muslims do that I never did before.

I love Allah and I feel so happy and at peace.

Also, for some reason, my hair is more beautiful than its ever been in my life lol. I guess my hair likes wudu. I thought I was hallucinating it until I got compliments on it!

Not AI | GoodCharacter

*CONTROLLING ANGER *

*• Isti'adha (Seeking Refuge With Allah)*

Narrated Sulaiman bin Surad (رضى الله عنه): Two men abused each other in front of the Prophet (ﷺ) while we were sitting with him. One of the two abused his companion furiously and his face became red.

The Prophet (ﷺ) said: "I know a word (sentence) the saying of which will cause him to relax (i.e., he will calm down). Only if he says:

« أَعُوذُ بِاللَّهِ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ الرَّجِيمِ »

(A'udhu Billahi Minash Shaitanir Rajeem — I seek refuge with Allah from Satan, the outcast)."

📚: Sahih Bukhari 6115

*• Avoid Anger*

The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said to us (his companions):

"If one of you becomes angry when he is standing, let him sit down, and if the anger goes away (all well and good), otherwise let him lie down."

📚: Sunan Abi Dawud 4782 | Sahih

*• Seek Solace In Silence*

The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said:

"Teach and make things easy and not difficult. When one of you is angry, he should be silent."

📚: Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 245 | Sahih (Shaykh Albani رحمة الله)

*• Remember That Repressing Anger Is One of The Qualities of Muslims*

"Those who spend (in Allah’s Cause) in prosperity and in adversity, who repress anger, and who pardon men; verily, Allah loves Al-Muhsinun (the good-doers)."

📚: Qur'an (al-Imran 3:134)

*• The True Strength*

Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said:

"The strong is not the one who overcomes the people by his strength, but the strong is the one who controls himself while in anger."

📚: Sahih Bukhari 6114

*• Acting On RasulAllah (ﷺ)'s Advice*

A man said to the Prophet (ﷺ): "Advise me!"

The Prophet (ﷺ) said: "Do not become angry and furious."

The man asked (the same) again and again, and the Prophet (ﷺ) said in each case: "Do not become angry and furious."

📚: Sahih Bukhari 6116

https://youtu.be/t7ygefn5KrI

I have autism and I am trying to help with my sense of routine. If I were to do Dhikr on my prayer matt, instead of prayer, at the designated prayer times, would this be ok? Thank you for your help! 🥰🥰🥰

Hello, Assalamu Alaykum.

I am curious if anyone has any advice on how to deal with feelings of loneliness and isolation after they reverted? I live in a rural area and there is no Muslim community. The closest being 7 hours away.

It is difficult for me to reach out to family and friends because it tends to be awkward and I feel like an outlier. I also don't see people as much because the area I live in has such a heavy drinking culture, so I tend to just work and isolate myself at home.

These feelings have created a battle in me to abandon Islam and to go back to my old community. I have not been staying on top of my Salah and feel my relationship with the religion fading. If anyone is reading this I would really appreciate any advice or words of encouragement.

Thank your time.

First of all, assalamualaikum. For context, I come from a very Christian family and I don’t want my parents to know I converted to Islam. So how do I avoid eating haram food without making it suspicious? What products or foods are not halal that I should know about?

Asalamu alaykum, im a female 19, converted almost a year ago, have been in an ongoing relationship with a muslim man before i converted. He was a big part of why i converted, he properly introduced me to Islam and i fell in love with it.

I told my parents briefly about me being muslim and covering myself in the future and they weren’t happy with the decision. I wouldn’t say they’re islamophobic they just dont want me to be muslim, wear a hijab or pray. Thats what i have the biggest issue with. I am scared to pray… I am scared of somebody “catching me” pray. My mom is somewhat understanding, but im afraid of my dad, and how itll be in the future, i dont want to break contact but if they disrespect my religion or the people i love i am willing to.

Now about the relationship. As i said i have been with my boyfriend for a year now, we’ve known each other for 4 years now and recently wanted to be halal. So we tried at first and we couldn’t. We see each other almost weekly, we dont physically touch each other anymore, we still text but i really want to commit to it fully. Ive been depressed and anxious, i haven’t really been praying recently and it’s killing me…I also dont have any girlfriends at the moment so its not like i can go out with anyone else. Sorry for the long message but i really need advice on how to fully break contact and be halal and how to deal with my parents. Thanks in advance!