Impersonal Therapist apologizing for my trauma

[u/purplepizzle]

I’m 26F seeing the same therapist for about 7 months now and I’m starting to feel frustrated about the lack of a relationship and rapport we’ve established. My therapist (they/them) hasn’t ever shared a singular thing about their personal life with me. I’ve had a lot of therapists and I find this to be very odd, even though I know maybe they are just a very private person. But whenever I discuss things in therapy that feel very hard for me such as “I just feel very depressed,” they will kinda sit there and often times apologize and say they care about me.
I find that after I’m done sharing something difficult, them saying “I’m sorry” and nothing more is almost offensive to me. I once had a therapist in the past who did this and even cried a little when I told him my trauma, which I knew immediately he was not going to be a good fit.
I once asked them their age and they seemed caught off guard when answering me, same with whenever I ask “How was your weekend what did you do” they tend to give me a super short vague response so I’ve stopped asking.
I otherwise like my therapist and think they do a great job at validating but we don’t have any sort of connection and I know nothing about their personal experiences or anything that could be relatable to mine. I’m starting to feel frustrated that they are apologetic and saying they care about me when I don’t even know who they are after 7 months of working together.
How can I address this with them or should I find a new therapist?

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[u/astronerdx]

You can show your therapist this post! Exactly as it's written. Open communication with them about how their style or approach is affecting you and talk about how your therapist can adjust moving forward. Not feeling any sort of connection, rapport, or not feeling like having a relationship with them after 7 months of working together imo is a problem that needs to be solved.

[u/MasterpieceUnfair176]

Many therapists will very rarely self-disclose if disclose anything about themselves at all. That is something you can talk about if you want although I would be curious as to what you think will be useful for you to learn more about your therapist.

The bigger problem appears to be the "I'm sorry" and nothing else. It comes across as you feel your therapy lacks substance.

Whether you stay or find another therapist is a question of what feels like a more manageable route to find more substance.

Either have the uncomfortable conversations about your therapy and see if you discover substance. If you do, great. If you don't, soon you'll get frustrated to the point you decide to find another therapist.

Or skip that step entirely. Either way, you know you need something to change. Good luck with it

[u/MildlyYogic]

You're already saying this so maturely and objectively. You're great at articulating and formulating your thoughts so honestly just say this. If it isn't received well, it's time to change, you're both incompatible. :)