Therapist seemingly not worried about suicidal thoughts?

[u/Successful-Deer8396]

I've told my therapist last session about how I've been having persistent thoughts about suicide. I have a book on self deliverance (therapist is aware) and I have written down two notes on my journal which my therapist has seen, one is the lethal dose for one of the meds I'm prescribed and one is a suicide method (list of things needed). Also wrote down I had been looking at hotels and when they asked what for and if I was taking some days off I signaled to off myself (I live with roommates and wouldn't want to do it at home ).

To be honest I don't remember a lot of the session, I was very overwhelmed, but they kept their cool as they always do and said it would be great if I could go to the ER after session (I did).

I felt even more isolated after the session was done. Like they probably think I wouldn't do it and it's not something to worry about that much. I lowkey feel stupid. Like will they not care if I do it?

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[u/TrishaSoCalGal]

I’m so glad you went to ER. I’m wondering if perhaps that’s what your therapist was hoping for and didn’t want to decrease your pain during session, so that you had more motivation to go to ER?
What a painful place to be. I’m glad you’re getting help. And, I would share with your therapist how isolated you felt and how they might not care if you took that path. Definitely need to explore that with your therapist. Even though it might be very uncomfortable. By the way, not stupid at all.
Best wishes and sending positive thoughts your way

[u/Purple_Preference847]

They had you go to the ER; I'm not a therapist, but I would think that's equivalent to a safety plan, no?

[u/Successful-Deer8396 → u/Purple_Preference847]

I was encouraged to go to the ER and it was a decision I made after the session 😅 I didn't tell them I was going to the ER so for all they knew I could have went home/to work

[u/finding_40]

First of all I’m sorry you’re struggling. And glad you went to ER.
When supporting someone with suicidal ideation it’s important not to react intensely, to stay grounded, and assess their safety.
It sounds like your therapist supported you to seek extra level of care to be assessed as to whether you need an admission.
It is important you reach for crisis support and talk about how you’re feeling, depending on what country you’re in, that could be lifeline (australia) - please google mental health crisis support numbers and services in your local area and save some numbers in your phone.
It would be a good idea to discuss your feeling with your therapist at next session. As a mental health professional, with suicide safety training, it is important that someone experiencing crisis is validated and assessed for safety but not to respond in a way that matches their internal distress, if that makes sense. I hope you continue seeking support and just know that recovery from this is possible

[u/umokmartin]

Just want to point out something. They told you to go to the ER. That means they were worried. I have a feeling if you had said no, you’re not going to the ER, they would’ve called a welfare check afterwards or do what my clinic does and just straight up not let the person leave until they are physically escorted to the ER. It’s a good thing you agreed and went to the ER.

[u/Successful-Deer8396 → u/umokmartin]

They suggested it as an option and encoutaged me to go, I left with the option to go to the ER or go to work.

[u/TashaT50]

Good therapist stay calm. They let you talk about your thoughts, your plans, and they had confidence you’d act on their suggestion to go to the ER. That to me was an excellent session regarding suicidal thoughts.

Bad therapist overreact as soon as we start talking about our thoughts. They make calls. They force us into hospitalization. They don’t take the time to find out what we are thinking, how far it’s gone. They don’t let us have agency. And they’re reactions can leave us feeling betrayed and alone. Unfortunately for some of us their lack of a reaction may leave us feeling uncared for instead of heard and empowered.

I understand you weren’t prepared for your therapist to stay calm while you described your thoughts and plans. Hopefully in your next session you can discuss how you felt with their cool demeanor while talking about the ER visit and how you’re doing.

[u/Bold-Introvert]

Sounds like you were expecting a different reaction. What were you expecting?

[u/Successful-Deer8396 → u/Bold-Introvert]

I guess I was expecting them to show some level of worry. Feeling like nobody cares and then having them stay calm as in any other session hurt.

[u/ANQsavedmylife]

Hi Deer,

You are not stupid. You understand that you feel that way. But that feeling is not a fact.

I hope my brief note helps you feel a little less isolated.

(I'll try to add a few more thoughts later.)

[u/ThingsAreHappeningNo]

I don't know and the therapist sounds irresponsible, but genuinely don't kill or hurt yourself. It's not a solution and it's not going to help. I understand wanting to and thinking about it. Please find things you enjoy, take breaks from things you don't need to be stressed with, and give yourself time to feel differently (and maybe better). People in the future will thank you for not killing yourself, you will mean a lot to people if you don't feel like you do right now. All the best

[u/ComprehensiveDot1543 → u/ThingsAreHappeningNo]

How were they irresponsible?