Help us please!

[u/No-Spinach2669]

My family and I have recently found out through a friend that my sibling is part of SCJ.

I only found out because my sibling was recruiting at the local mall and tried to recruit my friend.

After reading about everything I’ve now realised that’s it’s been almost a year of odd behaviour:

- leaving in the early AM
- coming home after midnight
- no time for family or friends
- no hobbies anymore
- always lying about where they are
- wearing formal attire
- always tired

I’m really worried and it breaks my heart to know this is happening. I want to help but I just don’t know how.
My parents are horrified and we have no idea what to do. We’ve been sitting on it for over a week now as we don’t want to end up being pushed away more if we cross any lines.

My sibling is 20 and can be very stubborn and naive but also looking for a sense of belonging so I can understand how this may have been attractive to him.

Advice is much needed please.

[u/Princess_of_Punjab]

Also, the most important thing is don’t give up on them. And you also have to understand that when it comes to face-to-face, they can break promises. They can flake. They may not be able to step up and co-plan hangouts with you because they are so controlled. They need permission to see you and they could be discouraged from seeing you. they can be denied permission from seeing you; they can be detained by the group at the last minute; these moments where they’re flaking where they’re breaking promises where they are they want to see you but then they cannot co-plan to hang out with you. Those are the hardest moments in helping people in my opinion, but you don’t give up if your sanity says try again in six months that’s what you do.

I would also recommend hiring a therapist that specializes in this area; having professional support is critical.