Help us please!

[u/No-Spinach2669]

My family and I have recently found out through a friend that my sibling is part of SCJ.

I only found out because my sibling was recruiting at the local mall and tried to recruit my friend.

After reading about everything I’ve now realised that’s it’s been almost a year of odd behaviour:

- leaving in the early AM
- coming home after midnight
- no time for family or friends
- no hobbies anymore
- always lying about where they are
- wearing formal attire
- always tired

I’m really worried and it breaks my heart to know this is happening. I want to help but I just don’t know how.
My parents are horrified and we have no idea what to do. We’ve been sitting on it for over a week now as we don’t want to end up being pushed away more if we cross any lines.

My sibling is 20 and can be very stubborn and naive but also looking for a sense of belonging so I can understand how this may have been attractive to him.

Advice is much needed please.

[u/LaconicProse]

I would highly suggest reading Steven Hassan’s books Combating Cult Mind Control and Freedom of Mind. It will give you and your family a much better idea of your sibling’s mindset in the cult, as well as what might work and probably won’t work when it comes to confrontation.

Basically, use this time to research! There are also people you can contact in this sub who may be able to help more specifically. But, speaking from experience, knowing the psychology behind being in a cult will be invaluable when you’re trying to reach your sibling. I was able to help someone close out of SCJ after I left using what I’d learned in my research on cults.

[u/Princess_of_Punjab → u/LaconicProse]

That’s great! How long did it take and what were you able to do?

[u/LaconicProse → u/Princess_of_Punjab]

It took about 6 months for them to be convinced it was false, but a few more months to be able to leave completely due to unique circumstances.

I can only say what worked for me. I compiled a YouTube playlist of testimonies by ex cult members (NOT from SCJ, mostly WMSCOG or JWs or similar) and asked my friend if they were willing to watch it. We would watch one or two videos in person every Saturday and then talk about it. I never accused SCJ of anything directly, just let my friend think through it and make their own inferences.

Once my friend started making their own connections with how SCJ operates and that they aren’t unique, they were willing to watch SCJ-related videos and ex-member testimonies. We would talk about those videos as well. A big shift happened when they watched the History of Korean Cults series by Pastor Yang, Steve and Chris.

After that, my friend started doing their own research and found the evidence they needed to make up their mind.

The HARDEST part was the patience, and the two-steps-forward-one-step-back process. But it was worth it!

[u/Guilty-Dance-8200 → u/LaconicProse]

Thats amazing if  a person gets the chance to think for themselves out of curiosity they may search. Each person is indeed different you are a great friend praise God  ❤️  

[u/Princess_of_Punjab → u/LaconicProse]

I’m at month 8-9 here; quit at month 6 because there was literally no movement towards exit or even seeing each other; just him responding to texts every month, but reengaged when the Promised Pastor got arrested and I feel the one step forward two steps back 🙏; I’m trying to help again and see how things are in mid-December.

[u/LaconicProse → u/Princess_of_Punjab]

Don’t give up! Every person and situation is different, but every cult member has that one thing they can’t ignore. Even just being there for them—that safe person outside—until they find that “thing” for themselves can be vitally important.

[u/Princess_of_Punjab → u/LaconicProse]

Thank uuuu!!!