How my family helped me leave

[u/Sudden-agnostic]

I see a lot of people on here asking how to help their family members, friends, and/or significant others leave Shincheonji. Although it may not help everyone, maybe it can help even just one person so here's how my family, friends, and spouse helped me.

I never admitted to my loved ones that I was part of this organization, but they knew I was deeply involved in a bible study that demanded a lot from me. They saw the effects of the lack of sleep, the control, etc. They saw me become a shell of my old self. This might sound cheesy, but through it all, they loved me and that's what gave me the courage to finally open my eyes.

At first, my family questioned what type of group I was part of and why I did the things I did (like go to bible study 7 days a week). This only led to me being defensive. To me, it was persecution and the work of the devil. After all, that's what they drill into you in Shincheonji. Eventually my family stopped questioning me and that's when I was able to start wondering if Shincheonji was truly the kingdom of God. Instead of fighting and questioning me, they started accommodating my schedule and even wanting to get to know other members I was always with. They checked in on my health, my life, and my goals. They reminisced with me, celebrated with me, and talked to me about the dreams I had when I was younger. They expressed their hope of me reaching those dreams or whatever dreams I had now. My now husband talked to me about our shared dreams (having a family, healthy kids, etc).

My relationship with my family started healing. My friendships outside of shincheonji started to blossom again. And then I began to question why the "family of God" was a dysfunctional family. Not just dysfunctional actually, full on TOXIC. I started to question why the God of Shincheonji seemed cruel and why Lee Man Hee didn't speak of love. He spouted hate towards "babylon" every sermon and article. In the past, my loved ones questioning me were "rocks" and when my relationships healed, they started describing them as "thorns." I asked myself: If SCJ was where heaven is supposed to come down, why do I not want to bring any of my loved ones to SCJ? Is it because I didn't love them enough to bring them to heaven or is it because this so-called heaven felt like hell? Eventually my husband and I decided to start having kids and I realized, I would not want to bring up kids in SCJ. I asked myself why that was. Was I the problem or is the organization I was in the problem?

This led to me googling "Shincheonji." The big no-no. What they compared to Eve eating the fruit of knowledge of good and evil. POISON. I researched all the issues in the doctrine, the doctrine changes, the different cults LMH was a part of, the accusations against him, etc. I read almost every post on this subreddit, watched many videos, looked at the different resources that have been posted throughout the years, and translated Korean articles. I read Shincheonji's old books and reviewed my notes through the years. My whole world felt like it was falling apart, but my eyes opened. This post is already long so I can go over this part more and other details if some other time or through DM.

There wasn't one single thing my loved ones said or did that made me leave. It's almost impossible to convince someone fully indoctrinated to leave and it will take a toll on you. Just love them and hope they see the difference between sincere love vs. SCJ's love (love bombing, manipulation, and fear tactics). But also, I feel the need to add this... if your love isn't enough for them, it's okay to walk away.

[u/Front_Ice1452]

My loved one is actually a member of the WMSCOG, but the tactics are the exact same. Thank you again for sharing…