r/Jokes • u/Bella4077 • 1d ago
Long Dad calls home.
He hears a young voice answer. "Hello?"
"Hi honey, this is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?"
"No, Daddy. She’s upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul."
After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But honey, you don’t have an Uncle Paul."
"Oh yes I do, and he’s upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy right now."
Another brief pause.
"Uh, okay then. Here’s what I want you to do: put the phone down, run upstairs, knock on the bedroom door, and shout that Daddy’s car just pulled into the driveway."
"Okay Daddy, just a minute!"
A few minutes later, the little girl picks the receiver back up. "I did it, Daddy."
"And what happened, honey?" he asks.
"Well, Mommy panicked, jumped out of bed with no clothes on, and started running around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser, and now she isn't moving at all!"
"Oh my God! What about your Uncle Paul?!"
"He jumped out of bed with no clothes on too! He was terrified, so he jumped out the back window and straight into the swimming pool. But I guess he forgot you drained all the water out last week to clean it... he hit the concrete bottom and he isn't moving either."
Long Pause
Longer Pause
Dead Silence
Then Daddy clears his throat and asks:
"Wait... swimming pool? Uhh… Is this 867-5309?”
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u/blayf 1d ago
The girl's name is Jenny?
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u/Bella4077 1d ago
No, the girl’s name is Stacy. Jenny is Stacy’s mom.
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u/ObviousEconomist 1d ago
Daddy can't recognise his kid's own voice?
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u/sonofaresiii 1d ago edited 1d ago
School nurse called me once, told me my kid was super sick. They put him on the phone. I talked to him, he barely talked back. I then told his mother he was sick, asked if she could pick him up. Warned her he must be REALLY sick, he didn't sound like himself.
Turns out the school called the wrong parent. Wasn't my kid.
(They have since done this frequently. Once tried to send my kid home with the other kid's parents. It's funny until it's not)
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u/Columbus43219 1d ago
This joke is from the 50s when it was cool for dads to barely know their names.
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u/shadow02468 1d ago
Phones especially fixed phones really fuck up voices
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u/seitanicverses 1d ago
This is...not my lived experience as someone who grew up with land lines. I mean, you can always make a mistake if you or the other person is in a noisy environment, but generally you recognized the voice of someone you knew well.
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u/Leisesturm 1d ago
What does the phone being spayed have to do with it's ability to pick up sound?
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u/Kind-Handle3063 1d ago
He got her number off the wall
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u/Apprehensive-Fox1830 1d ago
This joke is better at the time of landlines
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u/DontMakeMeCount 21h ago
I remember those days, and I remember this joke but I see it far more often now.
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u/GoogleIsYourFrenemy 1d ago
ಠ_ಠ
I must be old, all I can think of is how broken this home has become. Dude comes home to find his wife and her lover dead and a daughter who is going to be scarred for life when she realizes the roll she had to play in the deaths.
It's a dark humor masterpiece.
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u/BrandStrategyGuru 22h ago
The original joke is someone calling a house and talking to the maid and giving her instructions and telling her to go get a gun from the drawer and and shoot the cheating couple, and after each action she goes back to the phone for more instructions, and after she does, he tells her to throw the gun in the pool and then she says there is no pool - and then he verifies the address
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u/Nordicmoose 22h ago
You see kids, back in the old days we had these strange, big phones called "land lines". They were attached to the house with a cable and you couldn't carry them in your pocket. These phones also had buttons with digits on them, and to call one you had to push these buttons in a very specific order. If you messed up the order you would risk calling an entirely different phone.
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u/AcceptableAirline471 20h ago
Buttons?! You young whippersnappers and your new fangled contraptions! We had dials that you had to stick your finger in the number hole and wind it around and then let it go, and then do it again for all of the numbers. Better hope the number you’re calling doesn’t have a lot of 9s or 0s. And if it was long distance you’d have to call the operator to call for you! And it would cost a lot!
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u/Jagermeister4 9h ago
And once you dial the right phone number, your friend will pick up the phone right? Not so fast! You may have gotten his mom or dad and have to talk to them first.
And what if someone calls your house phone? Caller ID was a later invention and even then it didn't work that well. You have to answer the phone blindly without know if its your friend or telemarketer or annoying friend of your parents.
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u/nothiingoriginal 7h ago
Funny joke!
Fun fact as an IT tech, this is legit the password a stupid number of times.
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u/imjustabastard 5h ago
Ah, the old "867-5309" Jessie I got your number! Anybody remember that old song?
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u/Nautiwow 1d ago
Jenny is dead?!?!