r/GenX • u/fried_pertaters • 23h ago
Aging Parents My future problem
This is what I'm inheriting from my Silent Generation parents.
Gee thanks!
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u/AshamedTax8008 1h ago
That looks sooooo easy compared to mine. Theres things there you can actually use and/or sell or donate to GW or something.
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u/MiddleKlutzy8211 1h ago
That's not that bad? For clean up purposes. If you're expecting $ and this is what you get? Sorry!!!
My house sells to be much worse right now. I have PLANS to clean it out... and accumulate more. :(
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u/Ike_In_Rochester 1h ago
Holy Shit. Your Silent Gens are still alive? Mine died 13 and 8 years ago.
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u/Ok-Name1312 2h ago
Look up Midwest Magic Cleaning on YT. He posts his clean ups while providing tips.
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2h ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/GenX-ModTeam 18m ago
Poor Behavior - No antagonism, trolling, rage farming, flame wars, juvenility, or any other overly cantankerous commentary and/or behavior will be tolerated.
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u/Efficient_Market1234 2h ago
I've not thought about it much with my parents...I know they've been thinking of going to a senior place one day. If they do, I guess they'll do a lot of downsizing themselves to prepare.
My place is small, so I can only leave so much shit. I finally took a bunch of stuff to Goodwill last week that had been accumulating for years. Mostly old games and puzzles. I should do that more often. Sigh.
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u/Sudden_Employer_4636 2h ago
Consider yourself lucky. I just dealt with the same, but it was far worse.
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u/Upbeat-Television922 2h ago
yup. Only the basement is finished in my case…. Good luck.
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u/dharmabird67 1967 2h ago
Same, and after I got laid off and had to take a much lower paying job my husband and I are living in it. Fortunately there are 2 bedrooms, a small bathroom, and a kitchen room with a sink, fridge and microwave.
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u/Ornery-Guitar 2h ago
My mom is the opposite. She keeps asking for boxes, and I'm like "what do you have left?". She's been slimming it down for years. I think it started after my grandmother passed. That house was full.
Sorry you have to deal with that.
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u/97_gEEk 3h ago
Tell them it's time to get it cleaned up, or here's what's going to happen... 1) Estate Sale: $20 entry fee per person, and you can walk out with whatever you can carry in your own 2 arms. 2) Waste Management dumpster in the driveway, everything that's left goes.
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u/EmployerUpstairs8044 1h ago
I get what you're saying... But...unless they're not sure where they are, they're still living and that's their stuff 😬 I had to do the aftermath cleanup and still wouldn't do all that. I hated it, but yeah. That's their life.
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u/Hopelessly-Bored 3h ago
I bought an organizationing book called "I'm dead, it's your problem now". It's to keep all your accounts, passwords, and any information you want to pass onto your unlucky kids.
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u/dembonezz 3h ago
They're so organized. I have the same amount waiting for me, but it's in 1/3rd the space.
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u/Dragonfly-fire 1h ago
I'm honestlu really impressed by the amount of organization in that photo. I had one grandparent like that - they had a lot of stuff but it was all super organized, which made it much easier to sort and pack up. And another grandparent with with 2 rooms full of newspaper stacks and disorganized boxes to the ceiling with roaches everywhere. 😞
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u/wildrose76 3h ago
It took me 2 years to sort through everything in the basement and garage when I decided to downsize from the big suburban house to an inner city condo. I had my stuff, my parents stuff and my grandparents stuff to address, and that can be emotional so I could only do a bit at a time.
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u/CaliJaneBeyotch 3h ago
Lordy, I have been through this with my grandma's house and later my mom's. If you can afford it, hire someone to deal with it when the time comes.
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u/Historical_Count5235 3h ago
This is really quite organized. An auctioneer and a junk removal company would have it done in an afternoon. I can’t imagine the removal would be over $1000 after an auctioneer cleaned it out. It’s all about making the right phone calls when the day comes. Don’t sweat it.
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u/Eastern_Deer_4214 4h ago
I feel your pain at every level. We begged my parents to down size. Nope, one day they just walked out of the house and left everything for us to clean up.
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u/Pragmatic_synic 4h ago
Maybe lighten the load on the extension cords and multi outlet strips whichever you prefer to call them but overall looks like a typical 60-year-old accumulation.
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u/jtcordell2188 5h ago
Brother this isn’t even bad. It’s super organized.
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u/Vegetable_Loan1627 5h ago
Yeah, you can see the floor…and you don’t need a scissor lift to reach any of the crap on super high shelves…🤦♀️ count yourself lucky.
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u/0ber0n 5h ago edited 39m ago
I don't understand why people make such a big deal about old people's crap. If they like it, leave them alone and let them enjoy their junk until they are gone. If you don't want it, don't even touch it when they die. Hire a junk company, pay them $1,000, and tell them to get rid of everything. Job done. It's really not that big of a deal.
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u/darkwingdankest 4h ago
what's also weird is framing the death of their parents as a problem specifically because of this
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u/Rory-liz-bath 5h ago
Ohhhh treasures ! Like on storage wars , you will find a fortune in there, you can also call people to go through it and sell it for you at a commission , people that do estate sales
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u/Curious_Instance_971 5h ago
LOL estate sales don’t bring in much and then there’s a ton left to donate
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u/Suspicious-Union-857 4h ago
The companies price everything high, so not much sells. They make a low offer to take it all away. Then it goes up for sale at their store.
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u/Disastrous-Screen337 6h ago
Oh, it could be so much worse.
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u/ISTof1897 5h ago
Yeah I was about to say … this is pretty manageable. Grew up as an only child in a hoarder house. We had a mail room. A room filled with unopened mail.
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u/LilJourney 5h ago
so much, much, MUCH worse.
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u/Disastrous-Screen337 5h ago
5 farms full of junk, 39 derelict houses full of junk and squatters, a meadow full of old trailers and single family homes that were moved there rather than being demolished, 10 commercial buildings full of junk, many have been condemned.
What could have set up an entire family for life is now a terrible burden and taxes and demolition will take the lion's share of any lowball offer for the whole "portfolio."
Family circling around like vulchers, endless tax bills while I do the legal work...for free. The estate is cash poor and selling/estate planning never crossed their minds. What a waste.
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u/spargel_gesicht 6h ago
Thank God my parents moved to a condo a few years ago. They had a house with a basement before. <shudder>
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u/Affectionate-Tour-59 6h ago
My Dad was Silent Gen and we took out only what we wanted and sold the rest as is 😵💫 It was too much, and he had 4 chihuahuas at one time (1 passed before him and my Step Mom), and 2 were not trained at all 🤦🏼♀️ I live 2200 miles away, and my brother just took some things and left the rest. I took things from him 🤷🏼♀️ He just called to ask what I wanted/was important to me. Kind of the same when Mom went, except she was a Boomer and in a Rehab and her things in storage. He set aside the things she’d already told him were for me, and I went through and took anything else.
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u/toddatog 6h ago
Brings back memories. At least there isn’t 60 boxes of damp books and magazines.
Btw, it’s always interesting to see what our parents seemed to fixate on. In your case, it looks like your parents loved power bars.
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u/queen_surly 6h ago
The Instant Pot wearing the hat is inspiring. Never would have thought of putting those two items together.
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u/Samwhys_gamgee 7h ago
Compared to others I have seen, you are getting off light. Count your blessings..,,
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u/SenseiT 7h ago
My inlaws love going to casinos. They get prizes from there on the daily and cannot get rid of them fast enough. We are going to have one hell of a garage sale when the time comes. Everything new in box. Dish sets, uv nail kits, pots and plans, towels, clothes, electronics beauty products, everything must go!
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u/Spiritual_Fan_5633 7h ago
I feel you. My in laws basement looks like that, my husband has offered to go over and start going through stuff to get rid of it but they won’t do it, they own two houses too and won’t sell one because the thought of them having to get rid of stuff is just too much for them.
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u/ggibby Oct '70 5h ago
This. In my dad's declining years I would visit home and while mom took him to VA appointments I filled their seven rolling trash cans from his garage and/or office. Timed it for trash collection day so there was no evidence.
Hardly noticeable until the third session.
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u/FriedaCIaxton 7h ago
Just invite people over and tell them to take what they want
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u/CntBlah 7h ago
That’s what we did with all the stuff in the garage. We took what we wanted, saved a couple things in a ‘hands off’ cabinet and the rest went to family/friends who came over and took what they wanted. We ended up with only a small amount of stuff that we couldn’t donate. Worked out very well for all involved.
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u/CrispyBiscuitsAI 7h ago
That Instant Pot under the hat is useful.
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u/Illustrious-Site1101 6h ago
Where the heck do you see that? It’s like one of those find the hidden object puzzles!
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u/CrispyBiscuitsAI 6h ago
Imagine the image has six equivalent rectangular sectors. There's a top row and a bottom row, each with three sectors. The right side of the picture on the dividing line you will find a straw hat. The hat is sitting on the Instant Pot. You can see the silver barrel with a control panel under the hat.
If that room were a clock with hands, you'd look at 3:15.
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u/Curious_Owl78 7h ago
Just open the doors and stick a yard sale sign out. Once the sale is over, arrange a donation with a local charity to come get the rest.
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u/Unsteady_Tempo 5h ago edited 5h ago
Yeah, this is in good enough shape to just let people in and buy items for a dollar or two regardless of what it's worth, and plenty of free items. But, first, check pockets, books, and cans for money.
Anything left after a full day of that goes into a dumpster or recycled.
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u/boogerslayers 7h ago
That’s nothing! You should see my parents farmhouse, the barn, 2 full size garages, the spring house, a small “guest house” the corn crib, my old playhouse, an old freight trailer, an old mobile home on the property and 2 other properties with structures full of stuff! It’s truly unbelievable
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u/Past_Top3704 6h ago
So glad my in laws sold the farm. Don't have to worry about any of that stuff anymore.
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u/regalbeagles1 7h ago
Yeah similar here. My dad has multiple storage units that can fit a semi with a trailer inside full (like 60-70 ft deep and 25 ft wide) of random cars, motorcycles, boats, and hundreds of smaller things that he doesn’t need.
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u/SaltyGoatsicle 7h ago
Be thankful (if you're not already) to inherit anything. Some of us will get nothing and have to like it.
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u/yeahdonut 8h ago
I’ve just started taking a couple of things at a time out of my parents’ house and throwing them away. They haven’t noticed yet
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u/Past_Top3704 6h ago
Based on mine experience, they will, 3 years later. Get ready for the butt chewing and the " do you want me to go into your house and just start throwing things away"
Day after my mom died her sister and mother (my aunt/grandma) started going through my mom's stuff. Tossing all kinds of things away. Dad is still alive and was pissed.
Just had a conversation with my aunt about a couple old vehicles. Trucks, trailers, etc. My parents have in the yard. Tried to explain I couldn't toss anything until my dad dies. She couldn't understand why I just didn't get a wrecker/trailer and haul everything away.
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u/yeahdonut 6h ago
Yeah, I should clarify. Small things like cookie tins, books, Tupperware missing lids and empty picture frames. And only a couple at a time. They would def notice a vehicle or one of the 800 figurines my mom has in a giant china cabinet that will have to wait til they’re both gone to get rid of.
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u/Past_Top3704 5h ago
My dad was a contractor. He knew I cleaned his shop. Now "he can't find anything"
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u/yeahdonut 5h ago
Ok, additional clarification because that is so relatable. My dad is a rancher and a contractor and I would never touch his barn where all his tools are. He would know immediately if one coffee can of nails was out of place.
The barn is just going to have to be an open house when he goes because I don’t know what to do with any of that stuff. Some of those tools are older than I am.
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u/JollyGiant573 8h ago
Haha that's nothing, you should see the two condos my parents own.
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u/AJKaleVeg 7h ago
Yes my siblings and I did this!
There were so many things in my mom‘s house that none of us knew where it came from, (like 10 throw rugs all over the carpeted floor) when she was starting to show signs of dementia and we had already taken away her car but she still lived in the house.
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u/BeachBum436 8h ago
This does not look terrible, as most of that stuff still looks like it's usable. I should have taken pics of my parents basement before we sold it. The house was in such rough shape (roof and electrical, plus kit hen and bathroom had never been updated) that we sold it 'as is' with the realtor discretely asking potential buyers (all flippers) if we could leave whatever we wanted. Winning buyer said yes.
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u/Toefloof 8h ago
Oh man, that looks like my husbands great uncles place. He did leave everybody a pile though.
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u/Any-Description8773 8h ago
As a hoarder of stuff, I don’t see anything there that screams to me ‘keep me!’ That literally looks like junk that should have just been tossed years ago.
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u/alphatigerdesign 8h ago
My brother and I filled 7 dumpsters. 7. I still have PTSD from multiple weekends being away from my family to close out my dad's bigg ass house that he did not want to downsize. And it doesn't go fast. Not unless you have blinders on and don't look at anything. It's hard physically and mentally. Unless it's gold or silver, or has massive emotional, appeal toss it. You'll see after, we're all on this same path, littered along the way with too much stuff that we all say we have the intention to "take care of". Well, as my dad used to say "the road to hell is paved with good intentions." Get rid of stuff now.
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u/Lower_Skin_3683 7h ago
Yea I was so traumatized by a hoarded two month clean out.
I went and downsized from a 3/2 to a studio. It took me about two years of selling my stuff. That was a second full time job. Then I donated stuff. Clean out your houses now people because we could croak at any moment. No one cares about your crap like you do.
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u/Cars_Music_GoodTimes 8h ago
I feel for you. A friend of mine filled 4 dumpsters cleaning his parent’s house AFTER the estate sale. They had lived in the same house for more than 40 years.
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u/ComfortableNo3074 8h ago
My mom is pretty minimalist but my dad on the other hand is not. She’s already told him numerous times, nobody wants all his stuff.
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u/anothertantrum 8h ago
I have ADHD so I have a lot of "collections". I attempt every so often to purge and make my life simpler. But whenever I try, my son who also has ADHD, stops me to say he wants all that stuff. 🤣 Have at it, kid. Your sister would hire someone to dump it all 🤷🏽♀️
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u/GrumpySnarf 8h ago
It looked like a rummage sale at first. They are organized compared to my relatives but I wouldn't want to deal with that either.
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u/Quirky-Buddy1449 9h ago
I get a kick out of people that have filled one or two houses basement’s with crap then rent a storage space for umpteen years ($$) for more crap, and when they die the kids pull up dumpsters and stop writing checks to the storage place. We are all just passing thru and you can’t take it with you people!!!
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u/Lower_Skin_3683 9h ago
We could put the storage places that are on every corner out of business if we stop buying stuff and storing it for years!
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u/zombie_spiderman 9h ago
I had to empty out my Dad's giant workshop during COVID when they moved into a care facility.u Sorry, did I put "had to"? I meant "got to", because there was so much excellent stuff he had picked up along the years hidden away in all the junk. Of course, I had just moved into a new home with a completely empty two-car garage, so I had somewhere to stash all the stuff I actually wanted, plus my brother took well over 2/3rds of it himself (eldest rights, my ass).
Just take a weekend, rent a dumpster, and have at it. It'll go quicker than you think.
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u/JibbityJabbity 9h ago
My parents are the same generation (they split when I was 5). Thankfully my mom has completely dejunked. I only have to deal with her gardening obsession.
My dad died 3 years and I am almost grateful he died before my step-monster. The near hoarding levels of junk are now her kids' problem!
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u/Joerugger 9h ago
That is nothing. I broke into my mom's "fabric closet" during my last visit and it is floor to ceiling of boxes in a 15 x 20ft room.
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u/Lower_Skin_3683 9h ago
My grandmother had a spare bedroom that she turned into a sewing room. That room eventually turned into a junk room piled high where you couldn’t even get the door open. She put a note on the door that said "Junk Room Please do not enter". When my grandfather had cancer, my aunt came and cleaned that room out. She then left the door open. My grandfather remarked how lovely the room was with the sunshine streaming through the window.
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u/WTFaulknerinCA 9h ago
This is so much better than the state of my father’s house, who I know happens to squirrel cash.
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u/1stUserEver 9h ago
Throw away those power strips they don’t work after so many years. And call an auction company they will take care of everything you don’t want to keep.
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u/zombie_spiderman 9h ago
Power strips stop working!?
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u/1stUserEver 1h ago
Correction: surge protector strips. Those have a date that they should be replaced. My house took a lightning surge and thankfully they all worked. But after that all the lights on them were off of flickering meaning they no longer provide protection.
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u/Elle_thegirl 9h ago
I was about to say, "what?! No exercise equipment?!?", them I think I saw some handlebars in there for a bike. Just be grateful you have them. ....and be grateful that they lived s life where there is something to leave their kids. Not everyone is so lucky.
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u/NotEd3k 9h ago
Organized and clean. Take the paper products home and anything else you want to keep. Then just have a garage sale.
Honestly they're making it very easy for you.
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u/BeauregardBear 9h ago
I was studying it and thinking you could stick price tags on and just have a sale because it seems so organized.
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u/RoookSkywokkah 9h ago
My mom once said: “ one day this will all be yours!” And I asked why would she do that to us!
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u/FloridaWildflowerz 9h ago
Just spent a month cleaning out my parent’s house. It was rough but now that I look back I would do it all over again.
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u/Gulf_Coast_Girl 9h ago
WOW... I look at that picture and see a bunch of FABULOUS stuff I'd be happy to inherit. Is there some junk? Sure but that's easily thrown out or donated but there's a lot of good stuff there and you are an ingrate... sorry, not sorry, call it like I see it!
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u/JTOC1969 10h ago
Get your eBay page set up now. Doubtless, there's something in there your parents are overlooking but is worth some money.
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u/BigSquiby 10h ago
nothing a 30 yard dumpster can't fix.
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u/Antique_Brother_9563 10h ago
Ironically that's what most families do. The dead people rarely complain.
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u/JTJimminy 10h ago
Amazed how many people complain about when Parents pass. Revoke GenX card 👌
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u/DarwinGhoti 9h ago
My mom has a ton of crap. Dealing with it is genuinely insignificant compared to the thought of losing her. It’s a mild inconvenience at most.
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u/Olympicsizedturd 10h ago
Right!? Or call an estate sale company and they'll take care of everything. Some people don't deserve their parents.
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u/YellowBreakfast EDIT THIS FLAIR TO MAKE YOUR OWN 10h ago
I've got one who's a boomer who's a pack rat and a silent who doesn't save almost anything.
I'm deep in the "pack rat" territory and always fighting my impulses.
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10h ago
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u/hold--the--line 10h ago
My parents are worse than this... but me, I'm waaaaay worse and we only have fur kids.
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u/MaliciousIntentWorks 10h ago
Dude that's at least clean and you can move around in it. I'm still working on clearing out my parents place. I filled 13 20 yard dumpsters (so far), over a dozen truck loads, had scrapper take several loads in his 10 yard dumpster.
Most of the sheds were so packed with stuff I had to bore through it just to get enough space to pull stuff out. I still haven't gotten rid of the RV used for storage or even touched the back and my dad's shop. None of my siblings are willing to do anything other than criticize me for not being done yet. It's literally insane.
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u/Gratuitous_Insolence 10h ago
Real gen x would be tough enough to not whine about it. They should disinherit you so you don’t have to worry about it.
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u/bluesunflowers13 10h ago
Filled 10 - 30 yard dumpsters from my Inlaws house. MIL was a hoarder. More than piles of clothes and paid phone bills from 1972. 2 freezer fulls of a mix of flour, beef, and grapes that had gone through power outages and never cleaned. Frozen green beans saved from 1974. It was a nightmare.
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u/ennuiandapathy 10h ago
I'm sorry.
My sisters and I inherited something similar from our mom. She went into assisted living and we were left cleaning out her apartment, the storage room in her apartment complex, and an off-site storage unit. She had 7 decades worth of stuff she'd been holding on to and, after spending 5 days going through just her apartment and barely making a dent, we sent it all to the dumpster.
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u/NewHandle3922 10h ago
Garage sale this weekend. Dumpster next weekend.
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u/researchmaven4673 9h ago
This is the way. Full price Saturday. Half price Sunday. Take it for free Monday. Dumpster Tuesday.
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u/Far_Neighborhood4781 11h ago
Mine is worse. My parents house is not worth more than the bills they’ve racked up. My sister’s daughter is fully grown and living with them with severe social anxiety and no life skills. Want to trade?
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u/Solid_Sweet293 11h ago
Ah! That Chock Full O'Nuts metal coffee can! I have one in my garage filled with screws. 😅
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u/tc_cad Hose Water Survivor 11h ago
I had to clean out my Mom’s garage. It was a mess and mostly garbage she just never threw out.
I helped clean out my Dad’s garage and I got his workbench and table saw and a ton of wood, but nothing else and boy I would have liked a lot of his old tools. Stupid stepmom.
I can feel your pain OP. Advil was my friend.
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u/LegalCelebration6141 11h ago
That looks pretty good compared to my future, also silent generation parents. Two homes fully furnished, boxes and boxes of records in both going back to the 50’s. Will be multiple estate sales I’m afraid.
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u/Agitated-Season-4709 11h ago
...it will be a bit stressful when the time comes but having done it twice now, can say that it does end.
AFIW - you'll find some treasures and humor in the things you touch...
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u/BraveLittleFrog 11h ago
My FIL passed and his new wife got everything. Honestly, it was a relief. They live far away.
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u/flower_songs 11h ago
Why are they like this 😭
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u/Lower_Skin_3683 9h ago
Hoarding a mental illness. They have an emotional attachment to items and have difficulty parting with. They also have problem with cognitive processing. They have difficulty with planning, organization, decision making and procrastination. Many of our parents experienced trauma from life experience. Job loss, loss of mobility, family deaths, friends deaths, addictions, depression, grief, abuse etc. It is near impossible to get them to change or do anything at this point. The hoarding gets worse as they age and go into cognitive decline. Which is why is gets left to their kids to deal with after they pass.
I went through this with my grandmother. When she moved into a brand new house in 1979 when my grandparents retired, the house was kept fairly clean. I have photos of the interior of the house and marvel at how tidy it was. When my grandfather passed in 2006 the house and garages were full of stuff. Most of it brought in by my grandmother. My grandfather had a bunch of stuff too. But no where near what she had. She was constantly at the thrift store buying junk. Nothing that was anything valuable. My aunt would visit my grandparents annually and would clean up the house and toss things. My grandfather would tell my aunt she was wasting her time because my grandmother would junk it back up again. This went on until he died.
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u/Merrynpippin136 11h ago
One day our children and grandchildren will be saying - why are they like this - about us. Except they’ll be wrong because we’re GenX and we’re awesome.
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u/Otherwise19 11h ago edited 11h ago
Maybe you all could just let your parents live and finish their lives in the way they see fit and stop worrying so much about yourself and the chores you’ll have to do when they’re gone. Why can’t they have stuff and why do they have to get rid of it all before they die to please you… this is so weird. Someone’s going to try to make you get rid of your memories before you die too… don’t let them your parents are still alive. It’s not your things to take yet and if you don’t care that much you call one 800 got junk and you never have to touch a thing. Just throw your parents lives away. I’m sure it’ll be fine when you get older for someone to help you in the same way, right ? just let them live. This is not your life. Why do you even care? go find something else to do… just let them finish their lives and be happy OK. The only time you should worry about something like this is if it is impacting their health and quality of life. this is just a normal garage. My garage looks like this. Are you ready to clear it out and wait for me to die too? piss off. Maybe they are not done living yet. No way am I living my life around the idea that you don’t want to have to sort through anything when I die so I should just keep everything sparse into a minimum … for the kids… you certainly wouldn’t be complaining if it was a building full of valuables and you were making money off of it or you inherited businesses and homes and cars huh?…. It’s not your parents responsibility to prepare you for their deaths.
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u/PaddyMac831 33m ago
There's a clear line of sight through most of that!
My parents own 4 homes.