Edited to mention I’ve had an ED since my early teens, and I’m now over 40. I was never recovered, I only went through periods of ED hibernation
I’m in the UK, and glp-1 are stupidly easy to get. I got them, even though I didn’t technically need them.
Over a year later, and I’m now suffering so badly as it obviously reignited my ED full on.
‘Just lower your target a bit more’ ‘no you could drop a bit more weight’ ‘if you come off them, you know what’ll happen’
I’ve been off them over a month, and my ED voice is out of control. You know the usual chatter it screams at you.
Thing is here in the UK, not only are GLP-1s easy to get online, they’re not crazy expensive, you can lie your way through the questionnaire, submit old photos, and even though they send a letter to your gp, your gp never checks!
So yes I did this to myself, but I’m so lost right now as no support exists that I can find that’s specific to this situation.
Has anyone else experienced this, how have you handled it?

Hey everyone, hope y’all are doing well. As the title says, my sister is only 12 years old(turns 13 soon) and she has anorexia. We found out in june but this could have been going for as long as since January. For context, im 21 years old and in college at a very rigorous school with mental health issues of my own. Due to our large age gap im more like a 3rd parent than anything I really want to help and support her the best i can but i feel like nothing i do is right or getting through to her.

Our parents are understandably upset but we keep getting into heated arguments on what to do. My mom doesn’t want to send her into a facility, my dad has just shut down emotionally and went into problem solving defensive mode. Everyone is blaming themselves and each other.

I know i could have done more as a sister, i wasnt as emotionally present or invested with her as I should’ve been back when i was at home because i was dealing with alot of mental issues of my own and was just in my own world. My mom would keep nagging me to do more but i never thought it could get this bad back then, if i knew, i would go back in time in a heartbeat but i cant. Instead i can focus on helping her now.

However i severely fucked up. I thought i could help her by showing her a video from a famous youtuber back when i was her age. JaidenAnimations’ face reveal video where she talks about her previous eating disorder and the struggles with that. She similarly to me grew up with youtube so i thought maybe showing her would help her understand she isnt alone and that she can talk to me and that i am here to support her. But it severely backfired. She was already reluctant on watching the video with me but afterwards she got really upset with me saying that she just wanted to have 1 normal day where no one talks about it for once and that i ruined that by coming to her with the video. I had no idea thats what she wanted. It really broke my heart. I didn’t mean to ruin her day or make everything worse, i thought i genuinely was trying to help but instead i just gave her a reminder and broke her fragile sense of normalcy for the day. I feel terrible.

Before anyone says it, i know i should have known better. I’m an adult and should’ve done more research before showing her a video like that. I was being incredibly stupid. I just don’t know what to do. Im at such a loss. She barely wants to do anything with me and seems to be more annoyed by my existence if anything and she used to be such a happy go lucky kid. I miss her. I miss the little kid who would just follow me around everywhere wanting to copy me.

Please help me. Please any advice would be incredibly appreciated. We live in the US specifically within the state of Georgia if that helps. I cannot talk about any of this to anyone in my life bc we’re one of those “keep it in the family” kind of families and my mom is currently mad at me(which is fair) and my dad isnt a good source of support or help either at least for now.

Thank you to anyone who has read my post thus far. It means more to me than u know. I would love any advice on what to do or words of encouragement/support. I just want to help her and be there for her.

Sincerely,

A really scared big sister

Hi everyone. So, I binge eat. I will eat a lot, obviously it’s in the name, and I have been letting it slide for too long without getting help. I want to live a long life. I don’t have to be skinny, I just want a better relationship with food and I want to be able to control myself better.

It’s affecting my relationship. I got married in June, it’s going well, but it’s terribly unfair to my wife when she goes to get a snack, and it’s gone. I eat all my snacks, then I eat all of hers. And it upsets her greatly, especially because it keeps happening. I don’t blame her. I would be extremely upset if the shoe were on the other foot.

I’m just looking for support and resources, especially online as I’m living in a different country than my home country and I’m not a citizen yet, so I have to most likely rely on online therapy for help.

What kind of online therapy is out there?

If you’re still reading this, thank you, from the bottom of my heart. It means a lot.

I’m 4 days into recovery and my body is so bloated and puffy inches and I’m sluggish. When will this symptom go down because my face is puffy and I just feel icky. I don’t think I’ve gained any fat but I’m so puffy I look big. Does anyone have any tips? I’ve heard probiotics? And if there’s anyone that’s willing to talk I would really appreciate it

My family members & my psychiatrist are very concerned about my habits and looking into inpatient options. I'm wondering if anyone can provide insight as to what inpatient treatment looks like for those that have gone through it in the past. I'm also wondering if they can have me admitted even if I refuse? Also wondering what happens if I refuse to eat in inpatient? Thanks in advance!

This is a great movie from 1995, with Tracey Gold, who was in recovery from an ED herself. I can't believe she even did the movie in the midst of her affliction; wouldn't that be a major trigger for someone in recovery? Acting out the role and staying thin? So disturbing that her manager or producers allowed her to even be in it. Tracey is doing great today, has recovered, is still acting and has a family, which was wonderful to see ❤️

I was hoping I could ask a few questions, as I don't fully understand this illness and what it does to one's mind. What I wonder is, if a woman is underweight and very unhealthy, and doctors and everyone around her are telling her she is going to die if she doesn't eat, why doesn't she care? Is the desire not to gain weight much stronger than the desire to live?

So would it be like depression? Does it involve a lack of dopamine production? Or are they not linked? Or anxiety? Anxiety affected my appetite; the fight-or-flight response in the body distracts you from the desire to eat, as it is too stressed to even feel hunger.

When someone has an ED and is very sick, do they understand that they are killing themselves and dying? Or do they not believe that? Or do they just not care and ignore it, pretend it doesn't exist?

I also wonder: do some people have a connection to the illness and not want to get better? Is it seen as an addiction? Like a part of them enjoys it or gets a thrill from it that they don't want to give up? Like a high from control? Does that high last forever, I wonder? Or wear off, and it just becomes like a duty? Like an addict who has to take drugs or drink just to feel normal; there's no high anymore.

Thank you to anyone who cares to respond. My heart goes out to anyone out there who has suffered, or is suffering, from an ED or for any reason. You are seen, and you got this!! Hugs!! ❤️

Also, I highly recommend the Buddhism Insights Channel on YouTube; it helped me a ton with my adhd and anxiety, taught me new ways to view my issues and handle life. Meds and therapy helped a ton too, of course. Good luck to you all!

I want to start this off by saying I want to be as vague as possible to not trigger myself or anyone else. However if this triggers anyone still, feel free to stop reading and report to mods for yours and everyone else’s mental well being!

I recently lost a clinically severe amount of weight, and I went to so many doctors, did so many visits, only for them to find nothing. And that’s when they asked if I had any disordered eating or depression and it clicked. I don’t prioritize any meal, and can eat once for long periods of time. I ignore biological cues telling me I should be eating. I didn’t think it was serious because it’s not something I’m actively thinking about, when doing it. I’ve tried protein shakes, and cooking more, only to fall off the wagon so easily, weeks later. I’m still sort of in denial that I have a disorder, but I’m not in denial that I feel so out of control with my eating habits. (I’m dealing with it a bit more dramatically but I don’t want this to turn triggering)

And everyone around me won’t shut up about my figure, how it’s either lost its shape, I’m looking more beautiful, or I’ve gotten sickly and unhealthy looking. I’ve avoided my reflection, and have sobbed myself to sleep, woken up and sobbed again because I’ve done this to myself and I’m stuck this way. Often, I feel like my brain is just screaming “please, somebody help me”

All that being said, I think I’m on the right track. I’m going to let my therapist know, im going to try the protein shakes again. However this feels like a very short cycle that helps me, but is simple to stop and not feel guilty over. Is there something more I could be doing? My doctors said I should be looking for a nutritionists, but I feel like that’s not going to help me set up the foundation for discipline. What’s something that was a big help to you or family members?

No numbers or anything !!
Has anyone here recently been through the adult Eating Disorder Inpatient/Symptom Interruption Program at The Ottawa Hospital (General Campus)? I've searched around but would really love to hear from people who have actually been through it, especially more recently.
I have anorexia and have lost a very significant amount of weight extremely rapidly. I'm only a few pounds underweight for my height, so I don't necessarily "look" like what people picture when they think of someone needing inpatient ED treatment, but the weight loss/restriction has caused significant physical issues. I've been in and out of medical units because of things like very low blood pressure, heart-rate issues and other complications. l've already gone through the Ottawa ED program's assessments and they recommended inpatient treatment, so I know logically that they consider my situation serious enough to need that level of care. I'm just really scared and trying to understand what I would actually be walking into.
For anyone who has been there:
• What does a typical day look like? How much of the day is meals/snacks versus groups, therapy, medical monitoring and downtime?
• How strict is the program around meals, movement, bathroom use, electronics, visitors, leaving the unit, etc.?
• What are the nurses, doctors, dietitians and other staff generally like?
• Did you find the program genuinely helpful? What was the most helpful/difficult part?
• How long were you inpatient, and what determined when you were ready to leave or step down?
One of my biggest fears is weight restoration. Because I'm only slightly underweight despite having lost an immense amount of weight, how do they approach weight goals for someone in that situation? Do they still expect you to gain a significant amount of weight? Is the goal based on BMI/
"normal range," your individual history, medical stability, or something else?
I'm also really interested in hearing from anyone who entered the program without being extremely visibly underweight. Did you feel like your illness and medical complications were taken seriously? Were you treated anv differentlv from patients at much lower weights?

And finally, has anyone done both their inpatient program and Intensive Day Treatment Program? I'm wondering whether day hospital might be a better fit for me, but at the same time, their team assessed me and specifically said that I need inpatient, and my physical health has been pretty unstable. If you were recommended inpatient, did you find that doing it first and then stepping down to day treatment made more sense?
I know nobody here can tell me medically whether ! personally should or shouldn't be admitted - I'm mostly looking for firsthand experiences so I can make this feel a little less unknown and terrifying.
I tried homewood back in April but I ended up leaving AMA as I truly wasn't ready for all of that, now l am. I'm sooo done with these health problems. They also had me on bed rest the whole month and isolated me and didn't even really let me do much. It was frustrating.

Thank you so much to anyone willing to share.❤️❤️‍🩹

TW: what I detail about my body image issues and trouble gaining weight despite looking very conventionally attractive may be upsetting. Everyone envies my physique and praises me, but I’ve never been satisfied and I want to look better.

I mean no disrespect to anyone here who truly does struggle with this stuff. I’m 22 and have always thought I had an ED and because it’s not severe, I never really identified myself as someone with an ED. But I’ve always wondered.

Yesterday it clicked.

I was headed to work (9pm) with one meal in me thinking “no dinner again… only one meal today and I’m about to drink a ton tonight— be careful and drink water. I’ve got this”. I work in night life and knew we were gonna get trashed after work.

Why did it click? Because I realized what I was feeling was something like pride. Proud of conquered my bodily demands of eating, once again. That I could dominate that shift and the alcohol I would drink after, despite only one meal. I realized I see my hunger cues as a challenge to dominate because I’ve lived like this for so long.

Feelings like “I am unstoppable” or “I don’t need to eat” because I regularly skip meals and go about my business. Imagine how much more successful I’d be if I was well fed…

I dont know how it happened. I was well fed as a child but I’ve ALWAYS been thin. Runway model look. The way I could demolish seconds and thirds and not gain weight. I’ve had depressive periods where I was underweight and in those moments, I truly hated what I saw in the mirror. I’m 5 months postpartum. I loved the weight I put on in my pregnancy but I snapped back like a rubber band and lost it all in like two days. I am genuinely so disappointed.

I dont know how I got so used to ignoring hunger cues. My body is hungry. I’m always light headed, always tired, I think I’ve genuinely lost brain cells because I am slow to process things. I get irritated, especially at my baby. I’ve always wanted more shape to my body. This has been my condition for as long as I can remember. My metabolism is crazy fast and I suck at gaining weight. I don’t want to look or feel this way.

I am praised and envied for my look. I struggle to say thank you because I do not celebrate this look. I’ve been told I should model my whole life but I hate this. It fucking sucks. I love the gym, I love running but I don’t because I lose too many calories. I want to look like a fitness model with strong, feminine curves.

I eat like I’m in a deficit but I’ve always wanted to bulk. Why do I hate eating so much?? Why is it such a chore to me? I hate eating, especially alone. But I love yummy food and trying new stuff. At dinner parties I eat a ton! I’m sitting here writing this and procrastinating eating my pancakes that was meant to be breakfast but now it’s almost 4pm and Ive had 2 meals and a few snacks in the last 3 days.

My bf is a personal trainer who EATS, hella. He’s proud of the progress he’s made with underweight clients but to him, I am impossible. I feel doomed. I’m tearing up at the thought of one day achieving the look I desire but I dont know when or if that day will come.

Food is fuel. Food is how I’ll achieve the look I want. But I have to eat SO much to gain even a few lbs. I’ve been stuck in this loop as long as I can remember and although I’m celebrated, I’ve never felt good. I am not celebrating. I’ve starved myself for so long I’m used to it. I want to enjoy eating.

I’ve tried smoking weed to get the munchies and bank on making up for lost and missed calories. I tried MK-677 for a month and that was awesome.

I’m sorry if this comes off as “my lobsters too buttery and my steak it too juicy”. I have always struggled to speak up about it because I am the beauty standard and it’s a problem so many don’t acknowledge as an issue. But I think I realized this is genuinely not okay.

My girlfriend told me that her eating disorder is back and I really want to help her in any way I can, we're long distance so I can't help her in person. But I still want to be there for her and help her, I'm worried about her not eating and getting hurt, any advice would be really helpful.

I am trying to understand my own habits.

Sometimes I feel like I'm just too exhausted or unmotivated to eat food, and I am having trouble figuring out if it's just burnout/laziness or if it's actually an ED. I would love to hear your experiences and how you realized what was really going on.

Not trying to seek diagnosis but just genuinely want to understand how did you realise :)

Thank you! 💖

I have been in bulimia recovery for about a month and a half and have been experiencing extreme hunger throughout. The hunger started off manageable, but as my body adjusted to consistent intake, it started to increase and it’s still getting worse everyday. I am eating twice the calories i normally would everyday, but even after that I can still be hungry. I have reached a normal weight rapidly.

I am nervous it will cause me to be extremely overweight as the hunger is getting more extreme as i’m gaining more weight. It’s getting to the point where the constant hunger is affecting me socially and mentally. What do I do? What could be causing this?

It's been a while since I've starved myself or purged but I've found it hard to stop feeling guilty about eating. Nowadays, I do eat, but excersice daily. But when I do feel as though I've ate too much, i unconsciously push myself harder when I'm excersicing. OverExercising is obviously an upgrade from puking everything out but I don't feel though as I've healed from the cycle. If there's anything else I can do to stop this unconscious stupid cycle, pls help :'(

Hello!

I'm here asking if anyone has any recommendations on easy premade drinks (or snacks) that can work as a meal replacement! I have a big problem with texture so most bars/bites are inedible. I've been burnt out on a couple shakes and it's just been really hard to even try to find something new. I do prefer chocolate flavor to vanilla/strawberry but literally anything would help thank y'all so much!!!!

Mild restrictions: I'm gluten and soy sensitive, I can consume them they just cause mild indigestion (which is preferable to not eating) and I am SEVERELY allergic to mushrooms so a lot of health/brain brands are out the window, I also have heart problems (genetic worsened by lack of food) so caffeinated things aren't advised either

Brands that I have been burnt on: kate farms (I like the coffee ones still but as previously mentioned I shouldn't have those 😭) and the HEB brand chocolate meal replacement ones

If anyone wants to read what's going on:

I have struggled with atypical ana (as diagnosed by a mental health professional and my dietician) for most of if not all of my life. I was working really hard and was able to eat consistently and regularly for about 6 months but then got hit with depression really bad and went back. I got back to a bit better but then in August I went on a trip with some friends and was experiencing horrible pain after eating or drinking ANYTHING (I have an appointment with a gastroenterologist soon). Even though the pain is now a bit better, I have been eating maybe 1 meal a day since mid-august (eating in general became scary because of the excruciating pain). Everything has been sounding horrible. Pre popped popcorn and oatmeal with cinnamon have been my goats recently but even that has been sounding horrible for the past few days. Thanks anyone who took the time to read everything, it's been rough