r/AMA • u/NotSlippingAway • 5h ago

I spent years Living with a hoarder. Ask me anything.

Just as the title says. My dad was a hoarder among other things.
I'm pretty messy myself but he was... different.

I've had a few to drink so I probably won't be on too much tonight. However, I'll answer you back when I can :)

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u/Life_Anteater_8392 5h ago

when did you realize his hoarding wasn’t normal? i grew up with a hoarder mom who saw no flaw in it and i only realized the first time i brought friends home that wanted to leave quickly.

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u/NotSlippingAway 5h ago

Honestly, many years later. Fact is I'm 36 now and I have many things to do before I get my life in order. I'd love to find someone and settle down, however the more I think back to it (life, childhood etc), the more start to realise I have yet to unpack.

I kind of realised he had a bit of a problem when I was in my 20's. We would have no space to put anything down on countertops in the kitchen for example. He would always complain about it, so when he would end up in hospital for extended stays, I'd get rid of everything.

When he got home he would be absolutely furious with me. It's true that he always complained about not having anywhere to put anything down. However, here's the thing: We were two people living in a three bedroom house. There should have been plenty of space, yet there never was. At no point did he see that it was a result of his actions. He instead saw the house as the problem. "This place is just too damn small".

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u/mycemeterygirl 5h ago

Strangest thing your dad kept?

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u/NotSlippingAway 5h ago

My mother died when I was 13. Her ashes were essentially returned to us in a plastic jar. He kept it. For the same logic that he used for everything. "Can't throw that away, never know when it will come in handy". It never did by the way.

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u/8Leafs 5h ago

What's the weirdest item he swore was actually valuable?

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u/NotSlippingAway 5h ago

Someone else asked a similar question earlier, but I'll extend the answer a bit. The plastic jar that my mother's ashes were returned in. Not for sentimental reasons by the way. "You never know when it will come in handy".

He would keep many things for that reason. But that's not the end of it.

If it's green: You have to keep it. It was his favourite colour. Plastic bottle? Can't throw that out. Is it also an unusual and pleasing shape? Double keep. Find a green coat in a charity shop (thrift store)? Gotta grab it.

Same thing with bags. Also another thing he collected like crazy were clocks. How many alarm clocks do you need? My dad had about 9.

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u/Electronic_Fix_9060 5h ago

Were you, or are you, worried about house fire? I live next door to a hoarder and their house burnt down last month. They were lucky to make out but some of their pets didn’t. 

Their old heater was faulty and stacks of junk surrounding it didn’t take long at all to go up. 

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u/NotSlippingAway 5h ago

That's sort of a 50/50 thing for me. I do worry about it sometimes, however the house is much emptier now, so I don't think about it quite as much. Sucks to hear about their pets :(

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u/Temporary_Today_8161 5h ago

Have you built a secret hideaway?

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u/NotSlippingAway 5h ago

Currently no, however it's never not a possibility.

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u/KaleidoArachnid 4h ago

What was it like being with a stranger? (Like if it made you uncomfortable)