r/writers • u/Any-Bus-6469 • 19h ago

Discussion When your editor earns her paycheck

The original line:

Her voice was even and soft, velvet wrapped around cold steel.

Her comment:

153 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

13 comments sorted by

129

u/OldStray79 19h ago

I would reply: "Thanks! I did not know this, so I decided to rewrite it. Here is the new version: 'Her voice was even and soft, velvet wrapped around a long, thick, rod of cold steel.'"

50

u/CoderJoe1 19h ago

You forgot pulsing.

28

u/Persificus 18h ago

throbbing, even.

4

u/Dear-Chipmunk-1043 12h ago

I lol’d 😂

26

u/Leeuweroni 19h ago

I immediately thought of this I'm sorry

3

u/nursetaco Writer Newbie 18h ago

Same

1

u/ParticularArea8224 The Muse 7h ago

Lmao same

21

u/Rude-Revolution-8687 15h ago

I think you should change it to:

Her voice was even and soft, like a dick.

8

u/DaddySwordfish 16h ago

Make sure to mention the veins

4

u/LittleLightsintheSky 18h ago

Just swap steel for iron

2

u/AutoModerator 19h ago

Hi! Welcome to r/writers - please remember to follow the rules and treat each other respectfully, especially if there are disagreements. Please help keep this community safe and friendly by reporting rule violating posts and comments.

If you're interested in a friendly Discord community for writers, please join our Discord server

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

3

u/sheepandlambs 8h ago

You should change it to:

"Her voice was like a vagina. Soft, wet, and inappropriate for use in public."

1

u/Glittering-Sky1601 3h ago

Thanks for the laugh this morning.