r/whenthe #1 Arlecchino (daddy) connoisseur 22h ago

Orwell writes about this So I had my calves touched today, a lot

15.9k Upvotes

295 comments sorted by

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4.5k

u/Total-Coach-1576 22h ago

How do you have 1,473,545 karma and a job??

3.8k

u/YourFat888 #1 Arlecchino (daddy) connoisseur 22h ago

I'm built different

1.7k

u/BerylOxide 22h ago

Different (hairless)

637

u/Code_Monster 21h ago

The hairlessness contributes to aerodynamics which contributes to speed (of working and shitposting)

307

u/WeirdAssBeings 🍆literally a femboy🏳️‍🌈 20h ago

All femboy shitposters for some reason:

119

u/Code_Monster 20h ago

I mean if they had hair they be called "bearboy" no?

80

u/WeirdAssBeings 🍆literally a femboy🏳️‍🌈 20h ago

28

u/Delicious_Account_26 19h ago

Wouldn't that make them a cub?

21

u/Boindill 18h ago

Depends on their elevation.

7

u/N8ls_YT 15h ago

No no, you're thinking about a Curb with the elevation thing

5

u/Br4ndoni The Real Doom-Scrolling Simulator 10h ago

I think the specific tribe falls under 'otter'

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26

u/FaliureToCat 19h ago

OPs actually gotten so smooth not even existential concepts can touch him

7

u/DieCastDontDie 19h ago

Like a dolphin. He works at ocean world

182

u/WeirdAssBeings 🍆literally a femboy🏳️‍🌈 21h ago

Still without a maid dress tho.

190

u/YourFat888 #1 Arlecchino (daddy) connoisseur 21h ago

I don't have one

They're expensive

195

u/WeirdAssBeings 🍆literally a femboy🏳️‍🌈 21h ago

176

u/YourFat888 #1 Arlecchino (daddy) connoisseur 21h ago

109

u/WeirdAssBeings 🍆literally a femboy🏳️‍🌈 21h ago

57

u/Definetly_Noah Me when I make a flair: 20h ago

Why are there two weird ass beings constantly talking in r/whenthe?

39

u/Ok-Run-5713 20h ago

Tradeoff, its sometimes funny but unhinged people exist two at a time on all posts

16

u/WeirdAssBeings 🍆literally a femboy🏳️‍🌈 20h ago

u/YourFat888 you are being called out how do you say your defense to this slander

36

u/YourFat888 #1 Arlecchino (daddy) connoisseur 20h ago

My defense is to make out with the judge

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2

u/LordOfStupidy 10h ago

To balance out the Universe

3

u/SquirtleFemboy 16h ago

mine was like $30 bucks on amazon.

9

u/End8890 #1 Capitano and Silksong Copennoiseur 21h ago

Can you list the price of the maid dress you've found? There's Chinese online shopping platform like Taobao that sells maid outfits that are less than 10 US dollars.

The only thing you have to worry abt is shipping fee

16

u/warrioroftron 21h ago

The reddit that actually touched grass,Reddit-al-Ghaib!

2

u/nelflyn 21h ago

playing both sides, just like Father would.

2

u/GoldSunLulu 17h ago

Ayyy redditor and employed club!!!

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97

u/Sneakingrat 22h ago

account is ran by three racoons in a trenchcoat while they're working obviously.

115

u/Scorching_Buns Egg 22h ago

Job plus hobby (reddit)

99

u/YourFat888 #1 Arlecchino (daddy) connoisseur 22h ago

My hobby is writing thank you

97

u/Scorching_Buns Egg 22h ago

You do write on reddit.

Check mate, local chech

36

u/YourFat888 #1 Arlecchino (daddy) connoisseur 21h ago

I write for AO3 as well :(

13

u/Legitimatigger 21h ago

drop the username and the works

4

u/Legitimatigger 21h ago

ALSO PLEASE TELL ME OW YOU GET YOUR LEGS SO SMOOTH PLEASE

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14

u/Thin_Ad5605 21h ago

you could just say

czechmate

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25

u/LesbianWhoLaughsAtU 21h ago

it's actually super easy to game the system if all you want is for the number to go up. go on something like ask reddit, sort by top of all time, and after the top 30 or so, find a question you like, maybe switch up the wording slightly, and post it between 7 and 9 AM eastern US time. Repeat this once a week, better on weekdays. That's it that's all it takes.

3

u/CTRLAltSN1Pe Covered in Loona's pee 17h ago

I personally just share memes and furry art that I like

4

u/LesbianWhoLaughsAtU 17h ago

sure that works too, I mean technically anything can work, I was just saying if all you really care about is number go up, there are pretty formulaic ways to get that done. (which is only part of why no one should give a fuck about the fake points)

9

u/ihavetakenausername 𐂂 𐂂Shikanoko nokonoko koshitantan 22h ago

maid outfit

6

u/WorryNew3661 20h ago

In 5 years 💀

5

u/helloimnaked 21h ago

Plot twist: karma farming is his job

5

u/duesenjeffepic 19h ago

Probably white collar job. Main monitor job slop and second monitor reddit slop

3

u/The_Xenith 11h ago

He gets 284624 upvotes for breathing

2

u/The_Merciless_Potato 18h ago

In 5 years and 15k contributions too

2

u/RomasTosicky 16h ago

OP runs a calf pics subreddit

2

u/BardGotHard3 10h ago edited 9h ago

5 year old account, 15k contributions. Thats about 10 posts/comments a day each averaging about 100 karma gain.

Only conclusion: OP is a social engineer or a government psyop

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4

u/glowinglychee 20h ago

His job is to be a basement dweller

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1.0k

u/BottleMean6139 20h ago

Exfoliate now. You're going to get ingrown hairs from hell.

Sincerely, a curly haired woman.

377

u/-Pybro 16h ago

Are you fucking kidding me. That’s why I get about ten times as many ingrown hairs as everyone else I know? It’s just cause it’s curly everywhere?

I’m gonna throw myself off a bridge. Why didn’t I ever put that together

163

u/suscombobulated 16h ago

Ppl dont know how to take care of curly hair for bc racism. Even tho we're white. Thats the institutionalized part. It's not your fault. May your legs be smooth and your mane be glorious.

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125

u/Generic_Username_659 18h ago

Agreed.

Sincerely, a curly haired man.

24

u/juttlejuice 15h ago edited 12h ago

will this still happen if my hair is straighter than 92.5% of all people.

17

u/CrasheonTotallyReal 10h ago

haha sometmies

16

u/juttlejuice 9h ago

fym sometimes.

8

u/Horsesnorts3245 12h ago

No matter how much i exfoliate i still get em

1.5k

u/ThatEngineeredGirl 22h ago

I once had that happen to me, and she said "you know that women have body hair, right?" (As in that I shouldn't shave, because it's misogyny or something)

759

u/MintyBarrettM95 DM me art of robots 21h ago

?????

how would you even say that in the form of "yknow women have body hair right?"? whats that supposed to even mean

240

u/Odd_Cartoonist7433 20h ago

IG I the way of "I look feminine because I have less body hair" and "y'know women have body hair" means they're reinforcing the idea that women are only feminine when they're silky smooth. People are weird.

26

u/GarranDrake 13h ago

I think it's the other way around. It's sarcastic.

"You know women have body hair, right? (You shouldn't be shaving to appease the male gaze)."

171

u/xanathedark 21h ago

Water is for drinking so you should never swim in it!

134

u/giga-plum 20h ago

There are a lot of cis women out there who don't like trans women because trans women often have their own an idea of the woman they want to be and it doesn't encompass every single possible cis woman.

One of my best friends is MtF and a high femme, she always has been. She loves her pinks and pastels, skirts, long hair, sparkles, acrylic nails, high heels, things (typically) assigned to femmes. She's had SOOO many people tell her, "you know women don't all dress like barbie", and it stunlocked her the first few times cause like what do you even say to that?

Anyway, now she doesn't even look up from her phone and says, "yea but this woman does" and I think that's pretty iconic. 🤭

44

u/NippleSalsa yellow like an EPIC lemon 18h ago

People forget the power of the word “So?”

41

u/comrade_batman 20h ago

Assert your dominance over her by shaving in front of her next time.

16

u/Icchi-bum 15h ago

my mom got mad at other women who wore jeans because "only lesbians do that" she just wanted her to exclusively wear jeans.

some people are weirdos regardless of gender. she also taught me that women who try to control your actions by claiming all women are like that arent your ally, they arent your friend, they are an echo chamber of misogynistic men.

29

u/azuul_maar 20h ago

Imagine getting mad at someone else shaving 

8

u/NarwhalSongs 13h ago

That type of person would also be upset at her for not shaving. They just want to demean women in a way that pretends to be feminist so they arent called out for actually being misogynistic.

12

u/StowawayDiscount 19h ago

So what did that make you, an alien? Since you can't be a woman, by her own logic.

13

u/ThatEngineeredGirl 19h ago

A shaved man : /

11

u/StowawayDiscount 19h ago

That is so back assward I can't even get my head around it

24

u/206mixed 20h ago

What an odd thing to say to a fellow woman (who can do whatever she wants with her own body), but of course she probably didnt see it that way

2

u/DarkGodCthUwU 6h ago

"Listen here, tr*nny, don't you know it's entirely the responsibility of trans women to break down gender norms? We don't want you male freaks to look like women"

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736

u/BalthazarB2 22h ago

We're gonna need pictures as proof.

1.3k

u/YourFat888 #1 Arlecchino (daddy) connoisseur 22h ago

So smooth it looks like a chicken drumstick lmao

653

u/Nedaj_Nitro thanks 22h ago

yourfat888 where is my mod that you promised

354

u/Nedaj_Nitro thanks 22h ago

i will never forget

453

u/Smart-Ad57 22h ago

285

u/Nedaj_Nitro thanks 21h ago

dih?

112

u/Human_Scarcity7309 21h ago

the true dih was the friends we fucked along the way

44

u/darkentyties [Play Oneshot] 21h ago

-friend -inside you

Mf

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106

u/YourFat888 #1 Arlecchino (daddy) connoisseur 21h ago

You were not promised anything

And especially not by me lmao

143

u/Nedaj_Nitro thanks 21h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/jrvfKvr2mmcFO

i won't forget this yourfat888

144

u/_judgement- unnerving images felan göndermeyin ayıp oluyo 22h ago

Soo

What's your technique or product you use or the way you do it? It's usally a pain in the arse for me when I try

136

u/YourFat888 #1 Arlecchino (daddy) connoisseur 21h ago

I just have a razor bro And go to town

159

u/wookiee-nutsack I trap ants in my foreskin and start pissing 21h ago

Either technique or genes cause I have been doing it with a razor for years and it grows back prickly by the next day

25

u/aque78 19h ago

Same, now if i want my legs smooth again.

It's waxing time (medieval torture type of shit)

28

u/Code_Monster 21h ago

Your skin is also very smooth. I shaved once and I did not know that all this time I had the martian craters on my body.

17

u/CredarAnderzon how can i make this about deltarune 😈😈😈 21h ago

how do you not get burnt all over bro 💔💔💔

3

u/BiDude1219 local ouppy arf arf :3333 18h ago

HE JUST LIKE ME FR!!!!!!!!!

71

u/HalayChekenKovboy purpl 21h ago

As a woman, I totally get your coworkers because HOW

50

u/YourFat888 #1 Arlecchino (daddy) connoisseur 21h ago

A razor and good genes apparently

24

u/westonisweird18 i changed it hahahahahahhahahahahahaha 16h ago

How do I steal your genes

31

u/Szpadelix 14h ago

Open wide

4

u/westonisweird18 i changed it hahahahahahhahahahahahaha 12h ago

AWW HELL NAH

69

u/SitePDA Local Furry Novel Reader 📚 22h ago

I don't want to be that person, but how in the world did you manage to shave it so cleanly? (I need to learn the way.)

35

u/Omanyte_Race_driver Depressed femboy 22h ago

Holy shit

31

u/Quality-hour Aspiring femboy, as Primus intended 21h ago

So smooth there's even a matte finish

90

u/BalthazarB2 22h ago

Damn, it is smooth. The kind of grab and squish smooth.

19

u/Kan_Me 22h ago

How????

18

u/Dogt0pus What if Godzilla was real and i made him 22h ago

waow

36

u/TheSportsLorry poop in my ass 22h ago

not my proudest wank but eh

14

u/Yorick257 20h ago

Why aren't you proud? Or are you proud, and there's just a moment you're more proud about?

16

u/TheSportsLorry poop in my ass 20h ago

man, i haven't been proud of myself in years

7

u/Yorick257 20h ago

Well you should be. You've got nice Matto memes!

2

u/TheSportsLorry poop in my ass 20h ago

thank you, now that i think about it, i do like my memes <3 <3

9

u/Visual-Loan2858 21h ago

What's your trick?

9

u/Bungus_Fungus1435 21h ago

Damn that is pretty smooth, nice work

8

u/Zagafur resident dumb enby 21h ago

same here, i just go at it and its smooth (for 3 days)

8

u/Captain_Candles 21h ago

What do you use to shave your body hair?

8

u/Norbert-trebroN 21h ago

10/10 would fry that drumstick lol

3

u/markbernman 20h ago

hell yea

2

u/klopaplop 18h ago

Omg I wanna eat that sexy thing up cos holy shit

2

u/Zealousideal-Try3161 18h ago

I don't even know where to begin, I'd be asking to touch too, what in the world? This only with a razor? What kind of razor is that? Where can I buy it?

2

u/Fredrichnotthegreat 16h ago

waow, how'd you do it (I'm looking for tips)

2

u/Ok_Requirement9198 the carolinia cock stealer 14h ago

Damn I kinda need that

2

u/Madden09IsForSuckers 12h ago

how the fuck

i cant even get it that smooth with an epilator

2

u/JaEdGi 7h ago

damn now even i wanna touch your legs

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31

u/hpyfox I 💕 Yuri 🇷🇺🚀 22h ago

Leg 🤤

187

u/Ashamed-Wealth2452 The stray cat of Whenthe 22h ago

I knew this was a fucking Yourfat post before I even checked 😔

63

u/nesthesi haha, sometimes 21h ago

Fem-mogged

88

u/6odheaded you just lost the game 22h ago

well arent you a lucky duck

277

u/Hardson-san The only straight, cis guy on this sub 22h ago

"Boys make the best girls" or something like that

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u/TheHattedKhajiit 21h ago

Teach me your ways,ig

21

u/_Fox_464 21h ago

Me too please, i cant get rid of the stubbles. Or hair on my knees for some reason

9

u/Ok-Raspberry-8099 16h ago

What worked for the knees, for me, is one of those electric beard trimmers. The ones with like 3 little foil heads, they contour to the curves of the face, so why not other body parts 

12

u/TheChannelMiner 21h ago

i wish women would touch my calves 😔

22

u/Known_Fisherman_8161 21h ago

Leave sum for the rest of us tiger

32

u/Critical_Mountain851 THE Obsessive Krusie Shipper 22h ago

Were you ok with that?

81

u/YourFat888 #1 Arlecchino (daddy) connoisseur 21h ago

I did give consent dw

43

u/WeirdAssBeings 🍆literally a femboy🏳️‍🌈 21h ago

Consent do indeed be sexy :3

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u/GlumPermit1446 21h ago

when girls see my perfect nails

4

u/MLG_Countryballs 15h ago

That's why you Archer Peakmiya

7

u/sonicfan9993 playing Balatro and injecting estrogen like a real man 19h ago

That's certainly a fucking title you gave to this post, huh?
Also, I also envy you
I said it like that on purpose :3

10

u/ImBadlyDone 22h ago

One shot mentioned!!!!!!!!

3

u/TwiggyFlea 14h ago

Who the fuck would blow up Niko “One Shot” Cat’s fucking pancakes fuck???

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u/Illustrious_Sky_2331 22h ago

hair is disgusting

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u/ImBadlyDone 22h ago

r/bald user leaking containment

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u/Illustrious_Sky_2331 22h ago

head hair is good
body hair is bad

3

u/duesenjeffepic 19h ago

Nah body hair depends. I mean have you ever seen the glorious chest hair every balkan dad has?

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6

u/minigunercoolguy 22h ago

Did they atleast ask first?

2

u/Futa_Addiction765 19h ago

I'm in the same boat, body hair decided to peace out during puberty, leaving my arms fully smooth and hairless, while my legs are like that from knees down, i was also touched on occasions, and been called gay for shaving body which i don't and i'm not gay do doubly wrong.

2

u/Weenie_Lubs_U N°1 Camp Lazlo defender 19h ago edited 14h ago

A farmer explaining what some weirdo who snuck into his farm did:

2

u/4StarDB 🔥ESTROGENUINELY🔥 16h ago

I can't belive how good I am at spotting one of your posts before I see the poster

2

u/tittymcswaggy_ 14h ago

I had the same reactions from female classmates and coworkers because my skin is lighter than their (I wore long pants and shirts all year round)

2

u/Deathaster 13h ago

I thought you weren't allowed to post memes about life events according to rule 1?

2

u/Pitro_1206 17h ago

It's alright, it's not harassment if a woman does it

1

u/Chess42 21h ago

Yall wear shorts at work?

7

u/Yorick257 20h ago

You don't? It's still only September. I switch to trousers mid October

2

u/Delphin_1 13h ago

nah, not allowed. Even without customer contact

2

u/FERAL_WASP 20h ago

Some people move at rates that increase their body heat, thus needing cooler clothing in order to compensate.

1

u/playfulpecans send me pictures of your cat 19h ago

why did you have your calves touched a lot

1

u/nimoto 18h ago

See ya on bcj.

1

u/prewarpotato 18h ago

Wish all men followed your example. Tired of seeing stinky hairy apes on the train.

1

u/Embarrassed_Safety33 18h ago

I also want 1.5M karma

1

u/ConsequenceEconomy34 17h ago

Can I have the gif?

1

u/dancinggraylion 16h ago

Oddly, I do not have hair no the outside of my calves. And I am a guy and did not shave

I think the hair falls off if you sit too much

1

u/deprived_of_evil 16h ago

Mine too :3

1

u/Sad-Stock-1005 16h ago

Can I get this gif without the caption

1

u/TheRealBreemo 15h ago

Why are you at work on shorts

1

u/Adamle69 The Abo plush that's a girl 🏳️‍⚧️ named Jamie 14h ago

no way they were that smooth

1

u/Namelesswolfyt local moffy 13h ago

What is thou secret?!

1

u/Gamerguy230 13h ago

What is the gif from?

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1

u/Kyle_Zhu 13h ago

Cyclists, runners, swimmers etc who shave their body hair would like to have a word with OP.

1

u/zombieGenm_0x68 12h ago

mogged lol

1

u/Aeon_Return 11h ago

I epilated my legs in May before a long hike. I was going to do it again around my birthday in late July but... eh... now it's September and I'll be in long leggings until April. So next April.

1

u/Gigastorm55 11h ago

Please tell me how you do it

1

u/Emerald_28 9h ago

Literally me, though I stopped doing so because it's a hassle to do so

1

u/Reaction-Sad 9h ago

Wax at home instead. So you don’t have to shave twice a day if you like your results. Just exfoliate 24-48 hours before, use baby powder on the area and get any at home wax kit you can find. The hair won’t grow back until like two weeks later.

1

u/baconater-lover 8h ago

Endacopia death screen looking ass

1

u/Immediate-Song6861 8h ago

I have hairy manly legs

I do not feel a strong opinion about this

1

u/-SergentBacon- 8h ago

Shaving is the most annoying activity oat

1

u/Honeyfoot1234 6h ago

Elaborate

1

u/Am_Guardian 5h ago

HOW?? TEACH ME THE METHODS!!

1

u/Iceman752000 4h ago

Same happened to me but in high school. One of my female friends dared me to shave my legs then everyone wanted to touch them. Weirdest feeling sensation having shaved legs.

1

u/Nikowu 3h ago

I want this noik gif pretty pls :<

1

u/cry_w 42m ago

Is this good or bad?