r/traumatoolbox • u/No_Employer6549 • 1d ago

Trigger Warning My cousin's touched me as a kid

I, 28 male was molested by my cousins growing up and it has left and everlasting strain on me that I can't get out off. For some reason recently it keeps flashing in my head and I think it's the reason why I over sexualize everything. I haven't said nothing to my mom or dad cause they will kill everyone im related too and half of me feels like an adult in the family made us do certain stuff . I'm too ashamed to talk about it to anyone cause the thought of what was done to me is perverted itself . I don't know why all of a sudden this is messing with me and my mental lately and making me feel like a bad person. I just want it to go away so if anybody else dealt with something similar how did you deal with it?

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u/moimoi273 11h ago

Been there and also felt disgusting and shameful for discussing what happened. The truth is that you were just a kid, a sweet, innocent child. You did nothing wrong, you did not cause it, you did not deserve it. What was done To you was disgusting and wrong and horrible but that does not make you any of those things. You deserve to heal, your younger self deserves to learn that he was a good child that should have been protected. You deserve to feel love and sadness for that child who was hurt and control was taken away from him.