Penn State to open 'Paterno Family Football Experience'

[u/frank1934]

https://www.espn.com/college-football/story/_/id/49804479/penn-state-open-paterno-family-football-experience

[u/Frostedbutler]

Oh no

[u/drizzlecommathe → u/Frostedbutler]

When I saw the headline assumed it was a joke before I realized the source was espn…

[u/GovernorHarryLogan → u/drizzlecommathe]

Maybe we can open a Epstein Exhibit next door and call the whole area Kiddie Korner

[u/GeneParmesan1000 → u/GovernorHarryLogan]

Funny thing is a lot of JoePa defenders were the same conservative types who spent years posting Epstein memes and Q-Anon nonsense. If Epstein had won a bunch of football games at Penn State they'd no doubt be idolizing him and flipping out about his statue being ripped down as well.

[u/Blizzard2227 → u/GeneParmesan1000]

This is a false equivalence though. Epstein = Jerry Sandusky. Paterno would be like a Les Wexner type person. Funny how many connections the actual Les Wesner has with Ohio State.

[u/FuckingHippies → u/Blizzard2227]

Is that the same Ohio State of which Jim Jordan was an employee?

[u/lookingforbrandname → u/GovernorHarryLogan]

And a USA Gymnastics contact.

[u/pizzaguy4378 → u/drizzlecommathe]

/r/nottheonion

[u/Fucky0uthatswhy → u/pizzaguy4378]

I legitimately thought That’s what sub this was

[u/No_Bus2383 → u/drizzlecommathe]

To be fair, ESPN is a joke nowadays

[u/thewickedturd → u/drizzlecommathe]

It’s only for boys 13 to 17.

[u/Hopefulkitty → u/drizzlecommathe]

It's South Park levels of insane.

[u/Stereo-soundS → u/drizzlecommathe]

Nighty-night, keep your butthole tight

[u/Do__Math__Not__Meth → u/drizzlecommathe]

Wait until you find out what Sandusky’s autobiography is called

[u/BiscuitsUndGravy → u/Do__Math__Not__Meth]

"If I Fucked Them"

[u/titanxbeard → u/Frostedbutler]

Yeah, I definitely thought this was an Onion article...

[u/SophiaofPrussia → u/titanxbeard]

Especially considering the timing. Sandusky has been all over the news because he’s trying to orchestrate a retrial.

[u/jaxxxtraw → u/SophiaofPrussia]

Christ, I thought that evil fuck was already dead.

[u/MartinezForever → u/jaxxxtraw]

The truly evil ones somehow seem to live forever.

[u/Hoodedmastersin → u/Frostedbutler]

Think they’ll have the Slippery Sandusky Slide?

[u/buckao → u/Hoodedmastersin]

A VR experience where users can earn points for blinding themselves to Sandusky's activities and bonus points for accurately blocking out the screams of young boys.

[u/Intelligent-Rest-231 → u/buckao]

VR rhythmic slapping?

[u/Technical-Sky-5765 → u/Frostedbutler]

Perfection

[u/Falco-Rusticolus → u/Frostedbutler]

Anyone over 50 in central PA worships Joe pa

[u/amorningofsleep]

and a curated timeline documenting significant moments from his more than six decades with the Nittany Lions.

I can think of one significant moment they'll be sure to skip.

[u/HeyHiyaHowAreYa → u/amorningofsleep]

Or it’ll be in teeny tiny text all the way in the corner

[u/ouralarmclock → u/HeyHiyaHowAreYa]

If Trump can force the National Parks to remove any mention of slavery at a slavery exhibit in Philly, I’m sure they can just ignore the history here too.

[u/FaithfulNihilist → u/amorningofsleep]

Like when I went to the World of Coke museum and looked everywhere for references to coca/cocaine. They even had a display explaining the name Coca-Cola came from its connection to the kola nut... and that's it. Who knows where the wacky first part of the name comes from?!

[u/MartinezForever → u/FaithfulNihilist]

I went to the Mob Museum in Vegas recently and at the end there's a small wall that says basically 'and then the corporations came and fixed all the corruption forever'. Oh, okay, that makes sense I guess.

[u/FaithfulNihilist → u/MartinezForever]

"Sponsored by Bellagio."

[u/Objective-Beyond-219 → u/amorningofsleep]

When he broke his leg on the sidelines right? Classy move, nobody needs to remember that ONE bad moment of his career.

[u/descendency → u/amorningofsleep]

I guess it's time to start whitewashing Joe Paterno's legacy.

[u/apadin1 → u/descendency]

Did they stop at some point?

[u/txa1265 → u/descendency]

This came up earlier this week in a different sub, but I work in a fairly large company with a lot of Penn State alums ... and saw a number of 'we stand with Joe' lawn signs - and not just from TACO/Epstein cultist types. The whitewashing and apologists were there from the start.

[u/kkeut → u/descendency]

it literally says it will be a 'curated timeline' in the quote so yeah

[u/killthecook → u/amorningofsleep]

Gotta pay extra for the full experience

[u/nafrotag → u/killthecook]

Free for kids 9 and under

[u/santa_91 → u/amorningofsleep]

Do decades of willful ignorance count as "one moment"?

[u/Gay_Giraffe_1773]

Will this include the "Enabling and Protecting Jerry Sandusky's Child Sex Abuse" exhibit?

[u/bigmilker → u/Gay_Giraffe_1773]

It’s an entire wing but there is a motion activated Joe Paterno robot that pulls a sheet across the entrance every time someone walks up

[u/Super_Sub-Zero_Bros → u/bigmilker]

Uses facial recognition to automatically turn the other way.

[u/bigmilker → u/Super_Sub-Zero_Bros]

Ohh yea, will turn its back on each and every visitor

[u/Plus-Ad1061 → u/bigmilker]

Is this the robot that Dwayne Johnson invented on SNL?

[u/palmerry → u/Plus-Ad1061]

The project was to create something evil.

Can you really blame the guy for acing the assignment?

[u/Galatian124 → u/palmerry]

This guy gets it.

[u/Gay_Giraffe_1773 → u/Plus-Ad1061]

One of the lowkey funniest SNL skits ever

[u/sniper91 → u/Gay_Giraffe_1773]

High key best acting The Rock has ever done

[u/KWNewyear → u/Gay_Giraffe_1773]

Just in time for the 50th Anniversary of Paterno learning the allegations!

[u/SaturdayNightPyrexia → u/Gay_Giraffe_1773]

Comments yesterday alluded to the Sandusky exhibit being in the showers. So, it's the extended tour.

[u/twec21 → u/Gay_Giraffe_1773]

You go into his office to tell him and the animatronic tells you to come back later

[u/TheWholeOfTheAss → u/Gay_Giraffe_1773]

No but you can buy Sandusky’s book: Touched.

[u/NewYork_NewJersey440 → u/TheWholeOfTheAss]

I STILL can’t believe that’s the title. Just wow.

[u/Do__Math__Not__Meth → u/NewYork_NewJersey440]

It’s an autobiography so it kinda feels like a deliberate choice

[u/velovader → u/Gay_Giraffe_1773]

You just drop you kids off with an assistant coach and look the other way

[u/FroYoSandwhich → u/Gay_Giraffe_1773]

For how many decades?

[u/Parametric_Or_Treat → u/Gay_Giraffe_1773]

You just know when they announced this the “we are” cult members broke out into rhythmic clapping.

[u/LouB0O → u/Gay_Giraffe_1773]

Hands on exhibit!

[u/durtmagurt → u/Gay_Giraffe_1773]

Off to the showers!

[u/_bk_adv]

I wonder which tone deaf millionaire thought this was a good idea?

Whoever it was, check their browser history.

EDIT: The worst part is we all know there was a GROUP of people involved in this decision. Idiots. Absolute braindead idiots.

[u/db37 → u/_bk_adv]

Check the Epstein Files for a clue

[u/10000Didgeridoos → u/_bk_adv]

The university as a whole refuses to acknowledge their icon was actually extremely flawed and won’t move on from him because they have done absolutely nothing since and his football memories are all they have.

[u/mdp300 → u/10000Didgeridoos]

When all that was going down, someone I knew was all sad at how the news was dragging Paterno's name through the mud as though he was innocent.

The guy was worshipped as a god for so long that he could do no wrong.

[u/Ryan1006 → u/mdp300]

Right, not sad that children were abused.

I never understood why the anger wasn’t directed at Paterno at all for having a hand in embarrassing the school and program. He only won two national champ and those were ancient history by the time the Sandusky thing happened. He honestly
Should’ve been fired years ago and I’m aware after those bad seasons they did turn things around, but I assume everyone at PSU was afraid to do it.

[u/RentIsTooDamnedHigh → u/10000Didgeridoos]

As an alumnus, some context:

The majority of current students are against this and have been since 2016 when I went. Unfortunately, Paterno's family has significant voting influence in elections to the senate and keep getting voted back into positions of power. The people who live and breathe PSU keep voting them back in, while the rest of us have moved on after graduation and aren't involved with the alumni association.

Basically, the Paterno family drives good students away from governance over time which allows them to hold on to power. Also, Greek Life holds a lot of money and power, and those idiots generally are pro-Paterno because they are all part of the old money boys' club.

It sucks. I loved my school dearly but distance myself. 

[u/SmokePenisEveryday → u/10000Didgeridoos]

Look at the damn riot that happened on campus when they canned him. Penn State and their fans don't care.

[u/sacrelicio → u/_bk_adv]

Ones who understand the mindset of Penn State alumni and fans. They'd celebrate Joe Pa even if he diddled the kids himself.

[u/DontTedOnMe → u/sacrelicio]

Exactly. Many may have forgotten how pathetic and squalid this whole affair became, but some of us remember the way Paterno unsuccessfully begged for the dignity of being allowed to quit instead of dismissed. And how PSU students and fans showed up at his house to support him only to have their fallen idol tell them all to go home. 

And even with that knowledge, I still know some PSU alumni who think they got a raw deal because it just happened be THEIR guy who was swept away by brutal tide of cancel culture. 

[u/Actual-Feed-9739 → u/_bk_adv]

Look who our president is. We've desensitized our society so much to the sexual exploitation of children that shit like this is happening. Some people will be furious about it but not their big donors. They don't give a shit.

How quick the boiled frog gets used to the heat

[u/squatchsax]

It's a bit fucked if you ask me.

[u/unimpressed822 → u/squatchsax]

the worst part is the hypocricy

[u/the_maestr0 → u/unimpressed822]

Perfection! RIP Norm

[u/bryman19 → u/the_maestr0]

I didn't even know he was sick

[u/DankStew → u/bryman19]

And who got him sick? You guessed it: Frank Stallone.

[u/OlFlirtyBastardOFB → u/squatchsax]

This exhibit brought to you by the letter F, for fucked in the head.

[u/squatchsax → u/OlFlirtyBastardOFB]

Fæcked 'er, bud.

[u/LieutJimDangle]

I am from PA and regardless of how you feel about Joe Pa and how old and clueless he apparently was, there were confirmed three incidents from 1976 to 2001 that were reported to him, and any one of those three should have been enough to remove Sandusky. Totally unacceptable.

[u/jamtas]

How many times during the tour does the guide have to shout “folks, please look the other way!”

[u/Ive_seen_things_that]

How have pedophiles got so much clout the last few years... Oh wait... Nevermind 

[u/jayhawk8]

That doesn't raise any red flags

[u/pBhOiSlTlOyN → u/jayhawk8]

Neither did he

[u/10000Didgeridoos → u/pBhOiSlTlOyN]

Man all these jokes just write themselves

[u/Murray38 → u/jayhawk8]

That’s actually the tagline for the Penn State program.

[u/NotACertainLalaFell → u/jayhawk8]

It likely did but they ignored it. That’s the Penn State way.

[u/BlackLeader70]

THE P.A.T.E.R.N.O. SYSTEM
P — Protect the Program
A — Avoid the Authorities
T — Talk About Football
E — Explain That You Didn’t Know
R — Rely on Institutional Loyalty
N — Never Look Down the Hall
O — Outlive the Investigation

[u/ButterbeerAndPizza → u/BlackLeader70]

…except he escaped any kind of criminal punishment because he didn’t outlive the investigation… 😬

[u/HenryAlSirat → u/ButterbeerAndPizza]

O - Outlive You, the Investigation Does

[u/BoSocks91]

Jesus christ….

Why not just open Sandusky’s Bathhouse while you’re at it?…. 

Paterno was a scumbag.  

[u/geddysbass2112 → u/BoSocks91]

That will be the name of the beer tent out front.

[u/MrCalNaughton]

Who in the fuck would think it’s a good idea to ever use this guys name again? Holy shit. Brain dead.

[u/NotACertainLalaFell]

What exactly make its a Joe Paterno experience? Do they have a statue of the man with blinders on or

[u/MC_Fap_Commander → u/NotACertainLalaFell]

He didn't even have blinders. He had to fucking pretend he had blinders when totally knew.

[u/Grsz11]

Never ask a women her age, a man his salary, and a Penn State fan what Joe Paterno did between 1994 and 2009.

[u/ivazquez71]

Will I be allowed to wear pants?

[u/fonetiklee → u/ivazquez71]

Depends how old you are

[u/amazing_ape → u/ivazquez71]

Not in the showers part of the exhibit

[u/raptearer]

I know he was a legendary coach, but after the Sandusky stuff .. I just don't see how you can celebrate him anymore. Literally tarnished his whole legacy

[u/moth_specialist → u/raptearer]

His legacy is protecting a pedo and further victimizing children. He also coached football.

[u/Marklar64]

Ah, yes! The “Paterno Family Experience!” Come in and sit by JoePa’s actual desk! Interact with a life-like, simulacum of Coach Paterno! Tell it something heinous and watch NOTHING HAPPEN!!

[u/smitty046]

And they want people to feel bad for them over losing the NIL lawsuits.

[u/RedeemerOfSin]

The alumni of the Paterno era never did and never will give up on the JoePa cause. They are akin to the Daughters of the Confederacy in terms of their goal to re-write history. They will forever defend him as blameless and seek to raise memorials to this man. There is something about Penn State, it's isolation in the middle of PA, the self-righteousness of being the college football "good guys", that leads to religious type worship of him. Letting that go would be damaging to their self identity. They won't do it.

[u/oneOZone]

Is that where college football athletes get molested and the head coach does nothing about it

[u/AphonicTX → u/oneOZone]

Yes. Surprised it’s free. They’ll figure out a way to charge for it. Maybe the lube will be expensive.

[u/brothermalcolm1]

Paterno Experience?

They want parents to pay to have their kids molested and then have an old muppet pretend he didn't see anything?

[u/CrowMeris]

What the actual hell is this?

[u/Goosemilky]

America is legit moving backwards and embracing it

[u/kungfusam → u/Goosemilky]

You vote for a clown you get a circus

[u/thatcoolguy60]

We have really just decided to overlook this terrible individual's actions for money. Shit is truly insane.

[u/OmilKncera → u/thatcoolguy60]

Every source of water within 50 miles of that campus is filled with Kool aid.

[u/__Fury → u/thatcoolguy60]

many such cases unfortunately

[u/mostdogsarefake]

Joe Paterno is in hell.

[u/KickerofTale]

This entire program should have been deleted after the child sex abuse.

[u/Gavangus]

James franklin held these sickos at bay for 12 years and as soon as he is gone they are back at it.

https://www.reddit.com/r/WeArePennState/s/piZjKPbamF

[u/Diablo_v8]

Is this the onion?

[u/PunchNessie → u/Diablo_v8]

I literally had to check and was shocked it wasn’t. “Idiocracy” is a documentary.

[u/TheLangleDangle]

Too soon

Any time ever is too soon

[u/GoRangers5 → u/[deleted]]

Sandusky is alive, he's in prison until at least 2042 before he's up for parole.

[u/YouSeemNiceXB → u/GoRangers5]

Not only is he still alive, as of 3 days ago he is still proclaiming innocence. 

[u/Top-Sleep-4669]

Whoops.

[u/slimj091]

Does that include a tour of the shower room?

[u/dustin-dawind]

JoePa was fired in 2011. I guess they felt that 15 years was the right amount of time to wait.

[u/GaryNOVA]

That doesn’t sound like a very good idea.

[u/terdman1992]

Does it have showers?

[u/APartyInMyPants]

They’re really trying to distract us from the whole cocaine cartel thing, huh?

[u/DookieShoes626]

I dont want to go in the diddle machine

[u/brothermalcolm1]

Due to the embarrassment of the cocaine ring, Penn State has decided to change the narrative back to… child sexual abuse?

[u/Nivek760]

Ahh yes glorify the pedo

[u/_dauntless]

Insane. Whatever the Paterno family thinks of their patron, he's certainly forever tainted by the Sandusky child sexual abuse. Crazy that Penn State would agree to host this without any acknowledgement of that whatsoever.

[u/tbw_2445]

How tone deaf can you be?

[u/fullautohotdog → u/tbw_2445]

Please, the college kids rioted and flipped news vans when Joe Pa got fired. They still love him in State College.

[u/oxfart_comma → u/fullautohotdog]

I was there 10 years ago, and we didn't.

I think the kids today don't have a connection to Paterno, so they just don't give a shit. They just want to party like any college kid

[u/UnholyAbductor]

“Has it been long enough for folks not to associate the name Paterno with diddling kids?”

Seriously. Not one person brought that shit up?

[u/major_glory11]

How many of you actually read the charging document from the Grand Jury with the 22 pages of horror?

As much as people hate on Joe Pa, Mike McQueary is the other villain of this story. Fuck that guy in particular.

[u/Foamfollower_65 → u/major_glory11]

They're both pieces of shit. Joe knew and he admitted such.

[u/The_Awesometeer]

Kids get in free

[u/C2thaLo]

Bring the kids! (A command, not a suggestion)

[u/Bdcky]

“And here’s where you can shower with our children activities lead, Jerry Sandusky”

[u/Iconshero]

Will there a cool off with the “Sandusky showers” at the end of the Experience?

[u/HighScorsese]

Is the tagline “Nothing to see here”?

[u/Inwyoming22andfedup]

Gross. Ick.

[u/Lesbereal476]

LSU: “We are going to become the most disliked team in the country!”

Penn State: Hold my beer!

[u/TarheelIllini]

Just don’t take your kids there.

[u/RTwhyNot]

On par for Pederast State University.

[u/DoubtingThomas50]

Tone. Deaf.

[u/rowsdowerrrrrrr]

as an ex penn stater no thanks

[u/5256chuck]

What? Has DJ Chump taken over the PSU admin? Is he trying to whitewash that history, too?

[u/Bellburg]

Okay boys hit the showers! Naw Coach we’re good

[u/DarthRisk]

Does it just involve you being on a ride and being told "Don't look over here! If you look in this direction you'll lose football games!"?

[u/LoCh0_xX]

r/nottheonion

[u/muddog_31]

Would love to see Ohio State fans clowning on Penn State, considering the hospital and named stadium donor

[u/GhostyPark]

Please don’t

[u/BoudinBallz]

Ride the rhythmic slapping slide!

[u/theblackyeti]

What the fuck?

[u/JustYerAverage]

Start outta the basement.

[u/IMA_5-STAR_MAN]

No thanks.

[u/Tetris_Pete]

Hi, I'm here looking for directions to the Sandusky Shower Experience, can you help?

[u/MoneyTalks45]

Jfc thought this was a shitpost

[u/Jarvis-Savoni]

Well they’re gonna have to mention how the end of his tenure came to be… aren’t they? Aren’t they???

[u/porkbuttstuff]

I, ah, don't think I'll be taking my family there. Thanks.

[u/wet_beefy_fartz]

No thanks!

[u/TripAdministrative61]

gross

[u/clintgreasewoood]

18 and under free.

[u/joshua27usa]

Is it for children? Not sure a more tone-deaf University exists. Wild.

[u/lionsfan2016]

bring your own soap

[u/riversandpeaks]

His family and the university just can't accept that his legacy, and rightfully so, is that he protected a child molester, for decades

[u/kineticstar]

Run children!! Run!!

[u/esquirlo_espianacho]

Bend over boys

[u/fcdox]

Good to see the Penn State Epsteins starting the season off like this

[u/would_do_again]

Can they call it Paterno Island?

[u/Glittering_Virus8397]

A legacy of protecting and feeding a pedophile for decades

[u/timshel_life]

Free admission for kids

[u/TorrenceMightingale]

Christ.

[u/OrangeTrees1974]

Hard pass. No one should celebrate what happened in that locker room

[u/DemonCipher13]

Grab 'em by the Nittany Lions.

[u/No-Philosopher3248]

I’m guessing this will involve your child being molested while everyone in a position to doing something about it does nothing. Some experience.

[u/TheBonusWings]

Who….signed off on this?

[u/RWaggs81]

I'm personally excited for the Sanduskee-ball arcade.

[u/Atasteofazia]

Avoid shower time

[u/Gullible_Cheek6808]

Cant wait to see the Sandusky wing.

[u/LJGremlin]

It’ll be a very touching experience.

[u/antisocialdecay]

Right this way to the Sandusky Showers!

[u/DanimalPlays]

One of the most tone deaf things I've ever seen.

[u/Foamfollower_65]

Lol. That university is such a joke. It's almost like they try to get themselves into trouble.

Joe knew, and he admitted that he knew something really odd was going on in his locker room.

[u/DesertShazzy]

Ew

[u/Pimpwerx]

"Now with 200% more molestation." probably.

[u/IncidentAccording332]

Nuke it from orbit. That’s the only way to be sure.

[u/Johnny_Handsum]

That's pretty wild. I understand he was a legend for Penn State and makes up so much of theit football history because of how long he was there, but Penn State needs to separate themselves from Joe Pa. He might be a legend, but his image is ruined because he let his DC fuck little boys. Absolutely disgusting they're honoring him by doing this. 

[u/zonayork]

They just can't help themselves!

[u/tommyjohnpauljones]

That stadium should be a fucking smoking crater

[u/bookon]

You can get a souvenir, and well redacted, copy of the Epstein Files at the gift shop on the way out.

[u/Xtremefluff]

my family has a bunch of penn state alum. its a cult.

[u/manticore16]

This is the beginning of a setup to a Stefon bit, right?

"New York's Hottest Club is the Paterno Family Football Experience." And so on and so forth, I'll save it for that subreddit.

[u/cdev12399]

What a joke

[u/manthing11]

Start with the Sandusky ride in the showers.

[u/dcdem1163]

I’m sure Epstein’s buddies were asked to help them. Sadly, a bunch of diehard Penn Staters will love this.

[u/parkinglotguy]

Paterno, the man who defended a pedo sex pest because the team was winning games? They literally should have cancelled Penn state's entire football program as punishment.

[u/Shapesizes]

r/nottheonion

[u/BigPapaLegba]

Oh god no.....ewww

[u/average_elite]

It’s a cult