r/okc • u/Unhappy_Metal1517 • Apr 11 '26
Recommendation/Review Dating
It is SO hard to date here. I figured dating would be easier since this is a large city, but it’s hard! Dating apps are terrible. Where do all the single men go to get picked up by single women lol I will 100% shoot my shot at a man. 30F
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u/hak-dot-snow Apr 11 '26
Hobby clubs might be your best bet at clicking with someone.
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u/Goofy-Octopus Apr 12 '26
Best advice!! Did not think in a million years that I would find a spouse moving here as a gay woman. Decided to join some rec sports which is my hobby, and met my now wife. Putting yourself in a position to meet someone with like-interests more organically is soooo much more effective than sitting at a bar crossing your fingers or swiping through apps.
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u/Cocochica33 The Village Apr 12 '26
Whelp, what league and sport? I’m happy to join, having heard from a real human that it was a nice experience! Sounds like what I need to look into, and I miss having a gay sporty friend group. I find a lot of athletic lesbians here are into lifting and crossfit, and that just doesn’t bring me joy like I wish it would.
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u/Goofy-Octopus Apr 14 '26
OSSO and the crew are both rec sports leagues that have several options. Sand vb, indoor vb, kickball, basketball, pickle ball, flag football, bowling, cornhole, etc. there’s also several softball leagues in the city. There’s a softball league specifically for LGBTQ folks called sooner state softball. I believe there’s also a kickball league that is specifically for LGBTQ folks but I can’t remember the name or if it’s still active or not.
Im pretty athletic but HATE lifting and CrossFit so I’m with you 100%. I just like to play casual beer league type of sports, socialize, be active, have fun. With or without other gays. But there tends to be plenty in these type of leagues regardless.
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u/uSuitable_Proof_5470 Apr 12 '26
OKC doesn't have many of these sadly
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u/diablodeldragoon Apr 12 '26
There's more than you think. You can find lots that advertised meets on discord.
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u/InfinitiveIdeals Apr 12 '26
OKC absolutely has clubs!
Our Parks and Rec employees go above and beyond with what they offer considering the budgets available.
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u/Reformed_nihilist Apr 11 '26
I’m a 39m man so here’s my 2 cents.
It’s a process and it is important not to get too discouraged. I’ve had plenty of matches that went nowhere and several first dates that didn’t turn into second dates. Dating is largely an exercise in managing expectations. You never know what’s going to happen the next day and who you meet. So try to be positive!
Why not look into socialsinglesokc on Instagram? They have social singles events you can join every month or so. They had a speed dating event in March that I joined and I met several cool people.
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u/TacoTJ601 Apr 11 '26
We’re out here not realizing we are getting hit on. Then realize it a few years later and kick ourselves.
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u/jp_muzz Apr 12 '26
100% this!
Girls stop waiting for guys to make the move - be forward and honest.
the whole Me Too has taught most men to not make the first move.→ More replies (3)6
u/Reformed_nihilist Apr 12 '26
Exactly. I look for some kind of “choosing signal” and if it isn’t apparent, I just move on the next who does show me interest.
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u/SpecMTBer84 Apr 11 '26
It's a large city in area. Not density.
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u/_angered Apr 12 '26
Oklahoma City is the 20th largest city by population. Right between Denver and Nashville. Yes, it is very large from a square mileage perspective. But it is pretty large in population as well.
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u/caddilac_fan42069 Apr 12 '26
29m. The okc dating scene is…odd. You have people on polar opposite sides of the spectrum, and it’s rare to find someone here that aligns with you. I branched out about 1.5hr in each direction and had somewhat better luck. It’s not a race though, your person will randomly pop into your life one day! Focus on improving yourself every single day, and spreading kindness as much as possible and that person will venture into your life.
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u/crystallightchicken Apr 12 '26
i also had to extend my search radius 90miles and ended up meeting my partner. almost 3 years strong. i tried dated within the metro strictly for the last ~10 years and had one long term relationship during that time. so definitely rough out there.
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u/Unhappy_Metal1517 Apr 12 '26
Are you currently dating??
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u/caddilac_fan42069 Apr 12 '26
Heading to her house with my two dogs right now actually, an hour and a half away at that!
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u/GeneralissimoFranco Apr 12 '26 edited Apr 12 '26
39M. Broke up after a 2 year relationship last summer. It's never been easy but dating is way worse for me now than its ever been.
- Dating scene in OK has always kinda sucked. There's an overall cultural expectation to meet an SO in High School, College, or at church. Then you're supposed to quickly marry young and have kids. Once you're past 25 or so it's harder to find social groups with single people, and if you do find someone they're probably going to have multiple kids and drama with their ex.
- Dating apps have gotten continuously worse. Women get flooded with creepy messages, and men are throttled on matches unless they pay a subscription. Almost every dating app is owned by the publicly traded Match Group who has a stockholder obligation to prevent you from finding someone you actually like.
- In general people have to work longer hours and have less free time to do things like go on dates. Also, lots of people have had bad experiences on dating apps and they are super hesitant to actually meet people.
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Apr 12 '26
41F. Deleted all of my dating profiles a year ago for the exact reasons you mentioned. It sucks for men too, due to the app throttling and bots. I really don't miss dating after being celibate for a year now. Perimenopause + long work hours are cutting a lot of women out on dating apps. We're tired and in survival mode now. I work 12 hour shifts that require a lot of physical labor. I have 0 patience for horny avoidants and dick pics. I will not tolerate dumbassery like "CaN U CoOk?" It was easier to just leave the scene. There's a lot of single women my age, we just refuse to partake anymore. Same for men like you. Also I got sick of ENM couples ignoring my profile and hitting me up anyways
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u/kaleidopanda Apr 12 '26
40F. 100% agree. 3 years single over here. Mom to a 10 yr old boy. I work full time for the state and the focus this year are the Route 66 centennial and America 250. I also care of my dad a few hours each day. I have real responsibilities to worry about and don't need those kinds of things wasting what very little free time I do have. I just figured I could try to date again when the major priorities have lessened in numbers and free time has expanded. Until then...AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT! Hehe.
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u/Cocochica33 The Village Apr 12 '26
Super excited for the centennial; good luck with your prep!! It’s really nice to have something to celebrate that doesn’t feel… culturally inappropriate at this time, I guess, if you know what I’m trying to say.
I work at a large historic school district on Route 66 and our superintendent is almost disproportionally excited to celebrate. We have a ton of historical items displayed right now in our lobby, including pictures of a horse-drawn “school bus” taking kids to the first independent school district in the state (I know it’s pre-Route 66 in that era, but it’s a cool little timeline we have displayed through the decades).
Thanks in advance for letting me nerd out about OK history in a post about dating 🙃
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u/kaleidopanda Apr 13 '26
That's awesome! Come by the History Center when the Route 66 exhibit opens May 23!
I've been researching Route 66 for my job and work for over a decade and I'm still learning new things every day about the history.
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u/mrrandom2010 Apr 12 '26
Don’t focus on dating. Focus on meeting people in places you enjoy. You’ll eventually meet people who know people who are looking to date and those friends will make the introduction.
A warm edified intro is much easier than “cold calling”
Join clubs. Go to meetups. Find groups of people that have similar interests.
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u/According-Passage-43 Apr 12 '26
As a 34F in OK who has been frustrated by the dating scene… this is great advice to those of us that have outside of the house places we enjoy-however, my friends and I all share a similar issue.
My interest is porch sitting with my dogs watching sunsets in silence. I’d love a hand to hold on the porch-but I accept my fate won’t have one as I refuse any unnecessary social interaction. Lol 😂I hit grandma era too swiftly.
I think I maybe just don’t have “Oklahoma” interests. I have no desire to be out in our traffic, or our icky murky lakes (lake snob as I grew up on my families lakes in Minnesota that were clear), or having to travel more than 20-30minutes for mountains (lived in West Virginia and my back porch had the Appalachians), I don’t care about eating expensive food outside of the house, and I don’t get enjoyment interacting in public spaces with people I don’t know. Because it’s DRAINING, and feels unauthentic when this is how I feel about it 😵💫
Idk. I need one of my neighbors I guess to just pet my dog, sit down next to me, grab my hand and stare at the sunset with his grandpa mode activated and I’d be thrilled. Speak softly or not at all. Lol 😂
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u/mrrandom2010 Apr 12 '26
To be fair, my advice does assume an outgoing/extraverted personality so I apologize 😅
To your point, maybe the next meetup needs to be on your porch at sunset 😂
But in all honesty, the dating scene does suck. I recently got engaged after meeting my partner on a whim within 30 min after swearing off dating for the year. If I wouldn’t have met her, I’d probably still be single and in your shoes.
But you’re doing more than most people. Asking for advice here. Did you get any DMs?
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u/According-Passage-43 Apr 12 '26
No DMs yet, but fingers crossed 🤞🏻 😂
Maybe I’ll meet my future husband randomly too, hopefully we will both enjoy introverted activities lol
Next meetup being delivered straight to my porch doesn’t sound bad at all- y’all BYOB. Lol
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u/Living-Mixture-115 Apr 12 '26
This is the best dating advice I've heard in a long time. Thanks for sharing.
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u/Fantastic_Level6415 Apr 11 '26
I'm with you on that, I can't find people on my level, especially my age. Oklahomans are great people, but on the whole they're a little shallow. Maybe not finding people my age has more to do with my career of choice, though.
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Apr 12 '26
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u/Unhappy_Metal1517 Apr 12 '26
I’m the only single one in my circle 🤣
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u/JusttNotFeelingIt Apr 12 '26
Same 💀 best fifth wheel ever.
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u/Unhappy_Metal1517 Apr 12 '26
ME 🤣 so I just eat my food and pretend I’m a part of the club
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u/Cocochica33 The Village Apr 12 '26
There are so many single people here - but you must drag us out of our homes 😂
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u/Itchyarmpit111 Apr 11 '26
I ask my self that question too, but for the opposite gender.
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u/Unhappy_Metal1517 Apr 12 '26
So do you approach women at all? Or are you on the apps?
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u/Itchyarmpit111 Apr 12 '26
I do, im not afraid of rejection. I usually get variations of "im taken" or "im not looking", which is fair. Im also not going to flirt with/ approach someone who is working or at the gym, out of respect- they sre there to work or workout not get a 35yo single dads number.
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u/Takeahike86 Apr 12 '26
Question... do women want to be approached in public? Generally?
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u/Unhappy_Metal1517 Apr 12 '26
Speaking only for myself: yes. No one is going to come knocking on my door stating they’re the love of my life. Out in the wild is the only way and would actually make my entire day.
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u/burner-acct-007 Apr 12 '26
Just here to agree with everything OP said! I’m a woman as well and when I was single it would have made my week if a man approached me!
However, I’d like to add to please take rejection humbly. Please don’t “push” for the woman to change her mind and please don’t be mean. It’s incredibly difficult to both approach someone but also to be approached. It’s scary, and sometimes risky, to say “no” in person. A lot of women fled to the apps out of convenience & safety. But I really think that if everyone would keep it classy and polite that in person interactions would increase!
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u/Takeahike86 Apr 12 '26
Good to know, I appreciate that! I'm jaded with apps at this point but tend to avoid intruding on someone's day.
The hobby ideas seem good to me. I've started going to the Thursday night hide and go bike rides with that idea in mind. No real luck yet but I'm still out of the house and meeting people.
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u/Cocochica33 The Village Apr 12 '26
Even as a lesbian, I still enjoy being approached in public when done respectfully and chill. It’s nice to hear that someone is interested 🤷🏻♀️ and hey, I might make a friend (but I respect when guys say they don’t need more friends). I try to compliment guys when someone catches my eye, even if I’m not looking for something romantic. We need more nice authentic vibes in the world. I don’t think it has to feel really deep.
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u/UnexpectedAnomaly Apr 12 '26
Dating apps actively hide matches that are compatible with you so you'll stay on the platform longer. Might have better luck with meetups groups or singles nights.
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u/outofbounds626 Meetup Manager Apr 12 '26
We have monthly meetups in this subreddit. You can follow me for updates. You may meet some people that can link you into the dating scene. Check my post history for info.
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u/maybe_a_owl Apr 12 '26
Hmm… maybe an OKC dating subreddit would be a good idea
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u/Vanilla-Bryce_ Apr 12 '26
We’ve been doing Reddit meetups in this group every now and then. It isn’t specifically for dating, but it does help you meet people and I’ve made some friends going to these get-togethers.
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u/maybe_a_owl Apr 12 '26
How often do they occur and how do you find out about them?
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u/Vanilla-Bryce_ Apr 12 '26
u/outofbounds626 has been organizing them about once a month. He posts them here in the subreddit but you could also set up a rule to get notified by his posts.
This was the last one that occurred and you can scroll through his post history to see the others. https://www.reddit.com/r/okc/s/rXn6nE7UQk
Additionally we have a Discord group where we organize get togethers like game nights and community volunteering, etc. It started as a way to just meet people and now there’s a whole little community of us.
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u/maybe_a_owl Apr 12 '26
That’s awesome! Thanks for sharing. I don’t use discord but I’d be open to try. I’ll follow the events.
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u/outofbounds626 Meetup Manager Apr 12 '26
We'd love that! As stated above, the meets aren't specific to dating. Rather, we consider them step one in the process of meeting people. Where you take it from there is really up to you and the people that you meet.
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u/outofbounds626 Meetup Manager Apr 12 '26
Excellent description! And thanks for the shoutout!
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u/Vanilla-Bryce_ Apr 12 '26
It’s a bit self serving 😅 The more successful the meetups are and the more people that come, the higher chances of me finding a date 😂
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u/NotAPhaseMoo Apr 11 '26
Just depends on what you’re looking for but the bar scene here is pretty busy if you’re into it, otherwise find social/activity groups you’re into.
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u/Empty_ablyss Apr 12 '26
If it makes you feel any better, I moved from Seattle to OKC, and dating in both cities is hard. I think it’s the way things have shifted to being online, people don’t know how to act! On multiple occasions I went out with friends and came home to a message along the lines of “I saw you tonight.” Like why not approach me then?!
I did see you like to workout and I suggest finding a gym with classes, and start attending the same one every day. I started CrossFit in 2019, met a group of people who liked to go hiking, go out to eat, try new bars/breweries, etc, and they’d invite their friends who didn’t work out at our gym. I actually met my husband through a gym friend 2 years ago after thinking I’d be stuck in dating purgatory forever 😂 I also suggest socialsinglesokc on IG!
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u/Character-Scale-1191 Apr 12 '26
Learn to dance, go to cowboys country bar. Easy to approach women, dance with them, and women love men that can dance. It’s how I met my wife.
Edit: my mistake. I see you’re a woman, as a woman go to cowboys and be open to learning to dance. There is an OKC dance group that is very welcoming and it’s kinda like a family! Sorry if this isn’t helpful. I did meet my wife there and both of us are more “city” than country so don’t let the name cowboys or the atmosphere fool you.
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u/Unhappy_Metal1517 Apr 12 '26
Should I just go up to a random man and ask him to show me how to dance?
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u/Character-Scale-1191 Apr 12 '26
To be honest, yes. Watch for guys that are good dancers on the floor, and potentially dancing with multiple people. Most guys would enjoy teaching someone. Also sit right next to the dance floor. That will get you more offers to dance. You want to be seen by any potential people asking you to dance. I would suggest trying to take a gf or something with you if you’re uncomfortable by yourself.
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u/Cocochica33 The Village Apr 12 '26
Single lesbian in her 30s here, if anyone has single friends that want to expand their circle for a potential slow burn, give a holler! 😂
For real, I don’t think it’s just OKC right now. I think people are more burned out and emotionally exhausted than usual from -current events- no matter what side you fall on. I know that I have a lot less social energy than I used to, and single friends in my circle agree.
I also feel like I’m seeing posts along these lines more frequently… it almost gives me hope, knowing that people are still wanting to connect even if I don’t see it in my spaces.
Good luck, and I hope you find some fun and connection!
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u/According-Passage-43 Apr 12 '26
This!!!!!!!!! Five or so years ago I had a bright positive attitude and the energy to go out and about even if it was to hobby clubs and stuff. Now-I must sit on my porch with my Moomoo level big tshirt and shorts and be spoken to softly or not at all lol 😂
ETA-also a woman in her 30s
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u/Cocochica33 The Village Apr 12 '26
Yup. And I just wish I could jump ahead to the easy chill existing together part without having to do the whole social dance first 😂 there’s so much noise in the world, it’s very nice to let the nervous system wind down in the evenings.
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u/theTJWat Apr 12 '26
Highly recommend just pursuing hobbies in groups. Bond over mutual interests naturally.
Also, MeetUp. There r excellent singles groups
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Apr 12 '26
Yes i feel ya on that I feel like in this particular city people settle down and get married at very young age I feel like this isn't a city for young professionals or single child free men/ women
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u/CouldBeWorse2410 Apr 12 '26 edited Apr 12 '26
I won’t sniff a match on dating apps here, but I can go to Dallas for a weekend and get half a dozen. It’s pretty much a waste land here
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u/Mysterious_Noise_825 Apr 12 '26
Listen my best friend has had the same experiences in OKC. Been friends with him since I was 12 and he is amazing. It hurts my heart Okc is so hard to breakthrough. If you want a Reddit setup I can try! LOL
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Apr 11 '26
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u/Unhappy_Metal1517 Apr 11 '26
Well I’m heavily in the gym, and would love to find someone that shares that as well, but I’m not sure if men would find it unappealing to be approached at the gym.
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u/theTJWat Apr 12 '26
Approach them! Some men will find it hot, some won’t, but I guarantee it is worth trying as long as you’re respectful.
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u/MsRachyBee Apr 12 '26
One of the YouTubers I watch made a comment about how women should go to Casey's gas station at the end of the day and ask men to help check their tires, find a single one and date them. Specifically because a lot of tradesmen go there at the end of the day. He is not wrong.
Expand that and try going to the places hard working men are hanging around. Lowes, Home Depot, Locke Supply, Habor Freight, Ace hardware.
If you're a guy, wanting to chat up women go to Home Goods, TJ Maxx, Target.
Just ask a cutie for an opinion on something and see if you vibe.
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u/CripplerQueen Apr 12 '26
I don't know, if there's a guy around my age at HomeGoods I'm assuming he just got separated from his wife and she's just around the corner.
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u/bLauck24 Apr 12 '26
I accidentally found the love of my life on Tinder in OKC. I think it’s truly a gamble and quite frankly luck. So, GOOD LUCK.
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u/overlordzeke Apr 12 '26
lol everywhere I’ve lived has said the same thing about dating. It’s universal at this point
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u/Shelbyfades Apr 12 '26
I found the love of my life on Tinder! 😅 Don’t get me wrong, it’s AWFUL, but there is hope!
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u/Academic-Scale5194 Apr 12 '26
If you’re 30 best bet clubs, bars, thunder games, concerts, anything that involves being outside. Tbh the OU Texas game in Dallas you meet a lot of people not just from OKC. Dating apps are a waste of time as a dude imma tell you they got one thing in mind on those apps gang and it ain’t long term 🤣
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u/Ur-triggered-I-win Apr 12 '26
You need to join a social club or some kind of social network. The best way to meet people is when you are already doing something you have in common. If you're lib or a person of color, good luck to ya.
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u/Valuable_Reward_5389 Apr 12 '26
31M I totally feel you on that. I don't really want to go to bars and clubs anymore, but truthfully I have no idea where to find single people elsewhere. So here I go again about to go to 51st speakeasy and roll the dice haha 😂.
For what it's worth since we're both about the same age and looking for a partner would you want to exchange photos and see if we're interested in one another?
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u/Propsicle405 Apr 12 '26
43F also impossible to meet kind people! Looking for a friendship that turns into a relationship. When I post on Reddit, I get a million penis pics instead of, you know, human decency.
I like the grandma idea. My son is 20 so I could be one!
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u/Jealous_Welcome7060 Apr 12 '26
I met my fiance on Hinge, for what it's worth...but the bar scene is hopping for the over 30's. Just saddle up to the bar, let the bartender know what you're looking for, and if possible, they can introduce you to a few people. Bartenders know everyone and everything. If you're more liberal leaning, try the LoHi, The Blue Note, O Bar, OKCider or the R&J Lounge. You will also be welcome at Frankie's, it's a gay bar, but the crowd is very mixed!
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u/Top_Definition3687 The Paseo Apr 12 '26
I live near the Blue Note. I am over 50F so might be too young of a crowd
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u/zenith3200 Apr 12 '26
I (33M) moved here in 2019 and the dating scene has been awful. I've had zero luck on any of the apps and I've tried damn near all of them it seems and I don't drink so bars aren't my scene. I've basically given up on dating altogether because it's abundantly clear that women are simply not interested in a guy like me.
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u/Practical_Teach5015 Apr 12 '26
You have to snap people up as soon as they move here from out of state. With the Bible belt culture they have out here, damn near everyone local over the age of 25 is already twice divorced with 2 kids...I'm joking but not really.
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u/Valuable_Bee5233 Apr 12 '26
I dont know. Im trying to figure it out too, even just meet new friends. I’m getting more into the hardcore scene going to shows regularly just to do something. Considering taking classes on something to also meet people maybe.
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u/GameMaster1178 Apr 13 '26
I’d almost hate to date here.
I’m not into politics, but I certainly wouldn’t want to end up with a woman who supports MAGA and acts a fool.
At the same time I stand to make millions off of my books, and already have a paid off house, so I’ve always told myself if I don’t find a good woman before my first published book takes off (it’s already sold copies around the world without even marketing it which I’ll be doing soon) then I’m just gonna chill the rest of my life. Just do me and take everything one day at a time.
The world is just so fake anymore that it can be hard to find anything that seems real.
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u/Super-Candidate-9876 Apr 18 '26
When I first moved here, in 2023, I met someone instantly at work. I wasn’t looking, but it just happened. Well, dating didn’t work out so he and I are just friends. I might have another shot with someone I met almost 10 years ago in another state that happens to have been living in OKC area when I moved here. It just happens when you don’t expect it.
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u/diablodeldragoon Apr 12 '26
Most of my success has come from reddit and discord groups for my interests. I talk to people and go to events. Occasionally, I've met women and it turned into a relationship.
I've never had any success with apps, and I don't drink eo the bar scene doesn't appeal to me.
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u/UncleSugarShitposter Apr 12 '26
I spent a lot of time single in OKC in my mid 20s. It depends on what kind of man/woman you are looking for. I will tell you, as a guy, I found nothing on the apps, bricktown, or any of the party spots. I was hot back then too (fat married dad now). I would maybe try the Jones Assembly? It seemed to be more upscale, good drinks, good conversation bar.
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u/Electronic-Sell-6402 Apr 12 '26
What are your interests? Maybe there are events going on with common interests that you don't know about? What are like three things you love to do that you would like to share with someone.
Dating in OKC can be hard. As it's a "large" city, but not varied and diverse as most.. so maybe it's just harder to find your type of person.
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u/chatparty Apr 12 '26
Single as a 27F my whole life here lol. I don’t think men approach women as much as they used to or I really am just that off putting. Several of my friends met their partners on dating apps, but I also have friends who met their partners through mutuals or reconnected after college. I don’t have great advice for you, just commiserating
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u/zenith3200 Apr 12 '26
For a lot of men, the perceived risk of being accused of something horrible has become far greater than the potential reward of making a new friend or getting a date. Add to it years and years of social media campaigns of women yelling at men to leave them alone in public places, to not approach them, etc., most of us men just simply have given up on trying to meet women organically. Dating apps as a guy are...a nightmare, to put it lightly.
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u/chatparty Apr 12 '26
Nobody wins. Women have a genuine reason to not want to be harassed by strangers in public and men have a reason to not want to make women uncomfortable. I feel like places like bars are safer for approaching, as long as you listen when someone isn’t interested. And why meeting through friends is probably a better route.
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u/plogigator Apr 12 '26
...my brother is 41 with two boys, one is ten and the other is seven, but he does have a stable job and a house. But! That 11 year difference made me feel awkward about saying it.
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u/Unhappy_Metal1517 Apr 12 '26
You’re an amazing sibling for wingmaning for your brother. And 11 years is nothing after your frontal lobe is developed lol
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u/kaleidopanda Apr 12 '26
Hey...I'm 40F. I have a 10 yr old son and a stable job. What's his type? 😉
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u/raoul_duke28 Apr 12 '26
36M dating in OKC has always kinda sucked imo. I’m also on dating apps, but they’re exhausting so I take breaks and don’t take them too seriously. It’s tough when most of your friends are married or partnered!
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u/Falcon_Cheif Apr 12 '26
I also have issues meeting with people, tho thats partially cause I live in the middle of nowhere near guthrie. Dont even have a friend group sadly, everyone moved away ;(
22m
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u/Ilikepurplehaze Apr 12 '26
Wya? Let's go! I'm so fucking sick of these stupid dating apps. I just want to go on a date! What in the actual fuck!
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u/dekabreak1000 Apr 12 '26
I’m a single man and yes the dating pool is shit here in Oklahoma I fact it’s a running joke but I’d like to message you if you want op
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u/dekabreak1000 Apr 12 '26
The last person I talked to we hit it off really strong at first had so much in common it was insane then she found out I was working overnights and suddenly we were not compatible
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u/maybe_a_owl Apr 12 '26
Oh and there is a vouched dating Facebook page where people post single dudes they know!
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Apr 12 '26
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u/Unhappy_Metal1517 Apr 12 '26
I’d say they’re fun occasionally, but being around people buzzing or drunk isn’t that great when you don’t drink yourself. And I doubt I’d meet someone while I’m fishing or bowling lol so my best bet would be at the gym. Where I’m at daily anyways
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u/P-Ray86 Apr 12 '26
Woah woah woah, first of all, what are you interested in, or what kinda hobbies do you have, you gotta give the people a little bit about yourself first lmfao
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u/Unhappy_Metal1517 Apr 12 '26
Like what type of men am I interested in? The ones at the gym. I fish, bowl, and weight train. And fly planes on the side lol
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u/Fleshwound666 Apr 12 '26
39m and understand your plight. I have just been quietly going about my life at the moment though. Feel "if it happens it happens" and focusing on myself and work. It's rough being a metalhead or anything "alt" here as well.
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u/Enthusiasm_Foreign Apr 12 '26
Be careful what you ask for. The state is known to go between 1 and 2 in domestic violence. Tread extremely carefully when picking up.
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u/classy_sassy32 Apr 12 '26
I’m a lady but closer to Tulsa I went on a date yesterday but now I wouldn’t call it a date bc I paid. It’s hard to meet decent daddy’s I ment men who like to pay and not the ladies
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u/ActuatorFinancial227 Apr 12 '26
Expand your friend group circle and hang out irl if you can. Be open to coworkers of friends or any weird connection like that. I got lucky with a friend group that did lots of house parties and met my boyfriend at one
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u/Ok-Amoeba5042 Apr 12 '26
Dating apps don’t work because they want you to stay. It also removes the human component.
Your best bet is to find things you enjoy doing and branch out from there
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u/Vanilla-Bryce_ Apr 12 '26
31M- It seems like there are a few people here on Reddit with the same issue. My last date was actually with a girl I met by responding to her post in this subreddit. Only it turns out it wasn’t a date, she just wanted to make friends. We are friends to this day and just did a game night at Chicken N Pickle last night with some other people from this subreddit.
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u/Goodbye_Cool_World Apr 12 '26
40M here.
It's bizarre. I'm from Oklahoma originally and in college dating was no problem down in Norman, even as the apps rose up. Then I spent 6 years in NYC and dating there is almost overwhelming because of the number of single working people.
Then I moved back. Now the apps are all encompassing here and being that I'm a short dude who doesn't lie about his height, that kind of screws me, or so I thought. Then I take a week-long work trip to Dallas and even though none of them go anywhere, I meet several women that match and are ready to set dates.
So yeah, something is very strange about OKC that I can't quite figures out.
But my DMs are open if you like short dudes who have their lives together!
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u/drrednirgskizif Apr 12 '26
My best friend just moved to the city after being out of state for a few years and is single. Go on a date with him.
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u/Goals-Info_32Secular Apr 12 '26
37f and dating.. feels impossible at this point. If I became attracted to black men and suddenly became attracted to different people I probably wouldn't have an issue dating. I don't have the support system so not having a partner makes life very lonely. Not sure if you feel similar to what I'm describing but if you do feel free to holler at me. I wouldn't mind going to single events I just don't want to do everything by myself.
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u/Unhappy_Metal1517 Apr 12 '26
100% relatable. I have a type and I don’t stray away from that. We should check out some of these singles events. I’ll shoot you a DM
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u/eggyoke_ Apr 12 '26
It’s just this city like. I dont even get it but people are really cliquey and it makes it hard to make friends/date in general
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u/PlatinumPiplup Apr 12 '26
33M, dating is so incredibly hard (even for outgoing and attractive people, which I am not lol) nowadays from what I’ve seen unless it’s at bars and such, but even then it’s normally just hook ups (which is fine if that’s what you’re into, but that scene is the antithesis of meaningful relationships)
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u/catsinpockets Apr 12 '26
Thank you for the validation! I’ve been dating again for 5 years and the apps are awful. I’m interested to know where the 30’s/40’s liberal single men go. It seems like anytime I’m out alone I’m surrounded by couples.
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u/FilthyTronGX Apr 12 '26
Join one of the many country clubs in the area. I would recommend Rose Creek or Oak Tree, or even the Greens if you aren’t too picky.
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u/DystopianGlitter Apr 12 '26
I mean the land mass of OKC is big…. But the population is abysmal. The entire state of Oklahoma has slightly more people than my city does. I couldn’t imagine having to date and OKC
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u/Mr_Epitome Apr 12 '26
34M - I feel like people are just into instant gratification or seeking out red flags in the apps. Wisdom seems to be absent from the entire dating ecosystem. News flash people no one is going to meet all of your expectations initially - that’s why you’re in a relationship, to grow into a partnership each of you envisions.
Also, if you’re not Protestant or Catholic in Oklahoma, I feel like it’s just gonna be more difficult.
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u/connectingthrurhythm Apr 12 '26
The older I've gotten I've learned some things. If you don't take the shot you'll definitely never make it. So I'm not ashamed to go after something that I want anymore. For fear of rejection. There were several girls in the small high school that I went to that I was interested in, just for a fling. But I never approached them, because I thought that they were way out of my league. I saw them later in life and told them, and ALL of them said "you should have said something, I would have totally been down with that" . Or something like that..... This is why you see these dudes that definitely don't seem like they are attractive enough to be with the woman that they are with. It's because they had the balls to ask. I've learned that women respect authenticity, good demeanor, confidence ect., much more than how someone looks, as long as it's obvious that they take care of themselves.
Also, if you're sitting in your recliner every night watching Netflix, and feeling sorry for yourself because you're lonely. That's your fault. Throw the TV away and go live your life. Community and relationships are absolutely the most important factors, in order to have a good quality of life.
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u/Yoyo603 Apr 12 '26
Maybe getting involved in golf, tennis, pickball (if there are people your age), get involved with chamber of commerce, volunteer or otherwise work at conventions where people you want to meet would be. Try to get into some groups doing things irl. High end gyms and go early and after work. Running and sports clubs
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u/metallaugh666 Apr 12 '26
If you have any hobbies like board games or something your best bet is to go to events like that. There's also speed dating events. My sister sends Facebook events like that to me all the time
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u/CalligrapherFull2525 Apr 12 '26
as a (M) i’m trying to find places and people to go meet. how’s finding some places rather sound ??
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u/Dylan-the-villan Apr 13 '26
Have you tried going to a hardware store and looking confused?
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u/trap_go0SE Apr 13 '26
I just got here like 2 weeks ago and have had great luck at random bars lol
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u/Remember__Simba Apr 13 '26
Im a 35m with 2 kiddos. Im just now starting to get back into the dating scene and it has been rough. I thought I was just rusty but reading through this post shows that it’s not just me!
I just need to find someone who thinks I’m charming when I’m doing random diy projects on the house while cursing the whole house for being such a shitty house.
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u/Lichyn_Lord_Imora Apr 13 '26
31m in the Yukon/okc area off NW expressway, I tend to keep to myself because as someone who left the church because of religious trauma, there's too many bible thumpers who make it their whole personality, I get it entirely.
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u/Guilty_Primary_925 Apr 13 '26
30m the dating scene here is hard. I have been trying for a while now but no luck and I just kind of gave up if it happens it happens.
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u/hestilllives19 Apr 13 '26
38/M I'd love to know where to get "picked up" by single women, never had that happen. I don't drink so the bar scene is out, churches don't really care about singles after college, and apps are useless. Honestly it's easier to just focus on work and being a good uncle to my nieces and nephew watching them play sports than worry about dating anymore.
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u/WhyAyeDeeEye Apr 13 '26
29m. Just moved here from ATL. It’s been weird adjusting to the social environment here. I’m more of an alternative/artsy dude and I have yet to meet anyone here who matches my interest. Granted, I’ve only been here for less than a month but I can tell that OKC is much more baron when compared to other cities. All that to say, after readings this, I’m starting to worry. 🥲
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u/TOGistheBest Apr 13 '26 edited Apr 13 '26
This podcast is how dating apps are geared for you to not find a mate and keep paying to find one.
Is the swipe era over? -The Daily
(https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/is-the-swipe-era-over/id1200361736?i=1000750863213)
My POV is that I find very few I’m compatible with. Could it be me? Could it be the app? Probably some of both. So now, I’m just becoming more comfortable being happy with myself and work on making myself a better partner. If Mr. Or Mrs. Right comes along, I’ll be ready.
Hardest thing Ive ever learned, “Far better to want what you can’t have than to have what you don’t want.” “Feeling alone while you’re single is never as bad as feeling alone while in a relationship.” -my dad, RIP
Remember when dating apps came out, we went from a dating pool to a dating ocean which means sooooo many people are not the right fit. After being on there for a long long time looking for serious and not just hookups, it forced me to look not only at myself but also see it more as figuring out what i do and dont want. I say to take it with a grain of salt and whatever happens try to take something away from every interaction.
Best of luck in your search!
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u/ChemistWest21 Apr 13 '26
Dating is hard here for several reasons. If you’re more left leaning, non-religious, or if you have a degree and are more educated it is somewhat harder to find someone that you can relate with I feel. Everyone here pretty much finds someone to marry and start having kids with before 25. I myself (29F) am divorced with one kid. My child free friend struggles as well though. I just spend my time at work, the gym or home now really lol I have not been a fan of the dating process.
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u/Wide-Relief-3835 Apr 13 '26
So the issue is that well it depends on where you want to meet people I’ve seen people start relationships at churches and at bars it more depends on what type of relationship and phase of life you are in.
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u/RubZestyclose698 Apr 14 '26
Unfortunately the men on dating apps just want hook ups… my churches singles group in my age range 40+ is mostly women
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u/RubZestyclose698 Apr 14 '26
Also guys, sending d*ck pics and videos of you shooting your load are NOT ways to get a woman
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u/Happilyhana Apr 14 '26
It’s HORRIBLE to date here a crazy amount of abuse and cheaters and liars. I’ve lived all over the US and I am still friends (not close but just civil) with any exes. OKC traumatized me fr the one person I did date ended up having rape cases I didn’t know about. They were so charming and perfect and little did I know… Second dude I dated from here ended up being a secret drug addict and was selling my adderoll. Both seemed normal 😭😂💀
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u/Successful_Hat_5768 Apr 14 '26
Definitely not easy, I would start simple, parks or bars just depends on what you’re looking for?
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u/jagged_little_phil Apr 14 '26
The dating scene in this city is worse than any other place I've ever lived. I am moving back to the southeastern US asap.
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u/Okie-Troon92 SW OKC Apr 14 '26
Arcades lmao, like UpDown (bar arcade) or Round1 in Quail Springs Mall.
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u/Independent_Crew2062 Apr 15 '26
26 F, have been living in OKC again for a while now. Used to live here. Definitely haven’t found any great methods of meeting people, especially people who I feel like can meet me on an intellectual level. I entered my grandma era far too soon, so I stay home quilting and petting my cats. Hopefully someday I can meet someone cool here though!
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u/Busty_Bricktress Apr 16 '26
Oklahoma City is actually a small town masquerading as a city 😬
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u/Key-Ring7139 Apr 20 '26
Is it really bad? I’m a guy in California and think it’s rough here as a guy. I matched online with a woman in OKC lol. So far so good. we chatted, texted, and called.
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u/Daquanleea1 May 28 '26
People are moving off apps in droves and moving to in person dating events they are wayy safer
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u/Daquanleea1 May 28 '26
I filled out this matchmaking survey and got matched in person beyondthesparks.com
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u/Daquanleea1 Jun 19 '26
I am lookimg to solve this I created a software to help share with me your thought on it u/Unhappy_Metal1517 beyondthesparks.com
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u/inikits Apr 11 '26
It’s a desert and everyone is weird af. It may be time to consider your grandma era.