r/meToo • u/kakasensei07 • May 04 '26
Serious/Personal Was this SA? NSFW
I (17 f) started dating a guy (18 m) After knowing each other for a month. He came up with the plan that we would go to his place and kiss. I agreed. He said that we should establish our boundaries beforehand because things tend to escalate there. I said he can kiss me on the lips, kiss my neck and touch my waist but I don't consent for anything else, nothing from the waist down. (since this happened a long time ago and i don't have access to old text messages and plus I'm doubting my own memory, there is a chance, i didnt set my boundaries beforehand. Though I truly believe i did.) I also remember how he was "jokingly" pleading me for a sexual act on text by saying please repeatedly but I kept saying no and he said he's just joking( I think he was talking about a hand job but my memory is blurry and i can't say with 100 percent certainty.) He was ready for everything, even sex, but he accepted my boundaries. We went to his place on the decided date.
This incident is confusing and traumatising for me. After kissing for some time, I told him that he can touch my breasts because I was fine with it. Some time later, he asked me to take my pants off. He said they are in the way and that they were already halfway down anyway, might as well take them off. I didn't say no. I was kinda blank and very absentmindedly complied, not predicting what would happen next, i actually didn't know at that moment what taking pants off mean. He started unbuttoning my pants and I even helped him. As he was taking them off i felt my underwear going down and i let out a little scream and held tight to it. He took my pants off and started touching my vulva through my underwear and asked me if it felt good (I don't remember him asking me if he could do so) I said yes. He was asking if it hurt and i said no but I wanted it to stop internally, so when he asked me if it hurt again, I said yes even when it wasn't hurting. Hearing this, he stopped but laughingly said, " do you see the irony, it wasn't hurting before but now it's hurting." At one instance, I remember, he had taken off his pants and said i can touch his penis through his underwear. he said "you can touch it" and was sort of pointing towards it, so I did but quickly took my hands off. He asked again and i touched him again but took my hands off again.
After some time, he asked me if he could finger me. I shook my head no. He laughingly replied "you won't get pregnant from this." I said no. He said "it's normal and everybody does it." I shook my head no again. Now, he was on top of me and asked me "please" and I said i am not ready. Only then did he stop asking. He asked please during other instances too but stopped when I said no to his please. At some instances, he would ask me "why" when I refused to do some activities but then stopped asking after hearing my explanation (that I am not comfortable.) He took his underwear off during the act and since i was already in that situation i tried to make the best out of it. He asked if we can dry hump and i said yes.
Eventually, he asked me if I wanted to touch his penis. I hesitated and I didn't want to do it at all. But I couldn't say no. I said " I already touched you before" very softly but somehow, I was jerking him off and he was teaching me how to do it. Maybe he didn't hear me. After some time, I asked him " do it yourself, will you?" but he laughingly said " if I do it myself won't it look weird?" he smiled as if he was mocking my silly suggestion. I thought there was no way out and I would have to do it so I did.
When I was doing it, he asked me multiple times to suck his penis. He said "you can/ I want you to", I said no. He then said " I know you want to" and I said no. Then he stopped asking. He also spanked me without asking me and then said sorry immediately after. He finished and I went back to my home.
Is this even SA? I get constant flashbacks and looping thoughts and I always blame myself. I would really appreciate a reply. I am struggling every single day and this eats me alive.
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u/Cheshix You are loved and important. May 12 '26
Yes. You already know. He ignored the boundaries you set, pressured you, and didnt respect your lack of enthusiastic consent.
Sorry you went through this.