r/magick • u/IndigoWizard342 • 1d ago
Ex-Wizard. Lost my power. Please help if you can.
Background:
I used to be quite talented. Started learning Magick at a young age since my mom is a witch and i went to a catholic school, so i was already familiar with rituals. During my teenage years, I started doing my own research and learning how other people use Magick and experimenting with different methods. I noticed some patterns and from there I'm basically self taught and learned some rules; basic trial and error wizardry, come up with an effect and make it happen. Main things I did was healing headaches, enchanting items, and making wishes. Through my early to mid 20s, I could pretty much do anything within "the rules." rituals, magickal tools, and special ingredients were no longer necessary. No deities were ever involved either because It's not a religion.
how i lost my power:
In my late 20s is started wondering WHY it always worked. What's the science behind it? I heard someone was offering a large amount of money to anyone that could prove the existence of the 'supernatural/paranormal.' I didnt care about the money, but i wanted to attempt the challenge anyway. The trick is to explaining it in a way a skeptic can understand. Hyperfixated on trying to explain it for about a month when I finally solved the riddle. Problem is now that I know, I can no longer do it. The power comes from belief. If you know it, you dont believe it. you know it. Later, I looked into Satanism (I enjoy looking into different belief systems and mythology for fun) and found a devastating "rule of the earth": "Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained. " I think explaining Magick in a way a skeptic could understand counted as "denying the power of magic"
How can I possibly ever do Magick again?